Blackbird: The Truth Behind the Plaid
by homely-jess
Summary: This is the story of two brothers and sister who have grown up into a life of hunting. On Sam, Dean, and Julie Winchester's path to saving the world, they encounter many moments: family moments, moments wrapped in evil, and happy too. This novel showcases the absurdity of a hunting life and the romance of a young Winchester girl for her trench-coat angel.
1. Chapter 1

**Normalcy**

 **A/N:** _Once this fic is completed, I will go back and re-write this chapter and many chapters so that it captures the reader more. I promise, once you get past these next three chapters, it's starts to pick up. Thank you for giving this fic a chance!_

 _ **Disclaimer** : I do not own Supernatural or the Supernatural characters/settings/plots. What I do own is my OFC, Julie, and her story._

 _*= rewritten_

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

 _"Some say,_

 _Don't burn your bridges._

 _I say, if necessary,_

 _Let the kerosene_

 _Kiss it on the lips,_

 _And watch it turn to ash._

 _There's always_

 _More than one way_

 _To cross the water"_

 **Rudy Francisco**

* * *

The day began exactly as it did yesterday: _normal_ , with the smell of bacon in the morning air. There was nothing special about the yellow-sided home of the Winchesters, okay—maybe the little garden gnome was cracked and broken to shit, because the oldest son didn't watch where he stepped, but that's what made this place home. No matter how many times Mary Winchester glued it back together, young Dean always found a way to destroy it.

For Mary, owing a home and worrying about... _other_ hobbies seemed like a luxury she just couldn't afford. Then, with John in her life, she was given her first son, Dean. The life she used to life faded from her mind, yet never fully went away. There were some methods of protection and skill that a hunter will _never_ forget.

Marry hoped that this new life would bring more to her family. The Winchester children were destined for more than a life of hunting—she would see to it that they never saw the creatures of the night.

Four years later, Sam was added to the family, a young boy who would rather keep his nose in a book than attend a football game, like Dean. Three years after that, the two brothers were elated to be given a sister, to which Mary let them name: Julianna Beth Winchester, or just 'Julie' for short.

Julie is a bright, spirited girl who took an infatuation to birds and art. She's a spitting image of her mother: long blonde tresses, blue eyes, and shared freckles like her brother, Dean. Mary's third pregnancy came as a surprise to the family, but they welcomed the child with the warmest of hearts nonetheless. To Julie, she couldn't ask for better brothers than the ones she had, they were her world and the feelings were mutual.

Mary sat Julie in the high chair," morning love, how does waffles sound?"

The little girl giggled and requested," with peaches!" She was three and the term 'peach' might as well have been her first word. It was her favorite food, John and Mary tried to regulate her consumption of the fruit. Mary chuckled and nodded, Julie could have her peaches today.

Dean came bounding into the kitchen, saying good morning to his mother and kissing his sister on the head. The young boy still wore his plaid pajamas that he had slept in.

John came next into the kitchen, behind Sam. There was a look in his eye that he tried his best to hide. He would say nothing to Mary, because it was probably nothing anyway: Sam's room smelled faintly of sulfur. He would have to check the ducts later.

Mary looked over her kids who sat at the table, john joined her in the kitchen to help cook. Sam caught her eye," you look tired Sammy, I know I tucked you in at eight." She looked at him with an accusing eye.

"Dean was playing his music and he wouldn't turn it down!" Sam crossed his arms and glared at his brother.

Dean's face scrunched," I was not playing music."

"Dean, we don't lie in this house," John warned from where he flipped some eggs.

Little Dean's eyes widened," I...uh..." his eyes looked towards the ceiling, he exhaled," okay, fine, but can you at least get your facts straight? Led Zeppelin isn't music...it's _art_." John and Marry snickered to each other near the stove at that.

* * *

John picked Sam and Dean up from school. Dean was nine, and Sammy was five, just starting kindergarten. Dinner was made and everyone sat around to converse about their day.

Marry noticed Dean picking at his food. Her hair was pinned up in a sloppy bun as she forked broccoli in her mouth," how was school today?"

He looked up seeing it was him, she was talking to. He shrugged," I hate school I—" he was cut off by Sammy.

"Hate's a bad word!" He exclaimed.

The blonde woman looked to her brunet son," it _is_ a bad word baby, but-" she looked back at Dean"- continue: I thought you loved school."

Dean set his fork down," I did, but the teacher said I couldn't eat in class and I had to wait to eat with everyone else." He crossed his arms angrily.

Sam rolled his eyes," its school, Dean, its suppose to work like that," he stared at Dean flatly.

Julie was perched on John's lap," I wanna go!" She squealed. The idea of school sounded so amazing to her young mind.

Mary chuckled," you can't start school until your five, sweetie," she held up two fingers," two more years." But two more years seemed like a lifetime away!

Marry looked back to Dean who huffed unhappily in his chair," Sam's right though baby, it's school. You'll just have to get used to it." She rested a hand on her sounds shoulder, the side of his mouth quirked.

"You also need to eat your broccoli," she pointed out. The oldest son was hoping she wouldn't notice. The boy chanced a glance at his brother's plate, but what was he expecting? His brother plate had been mostly veggies to begin with and as always, it was clean. He'd have to suffer through it, to which he did eat his broccoli.

When asked about Sam's day, Marry and John were hurt to hear that he hadn't made any friends. The school year was almost up an no one wanted to hang around the brunet boy. Sam would rather read a book than play with the other kids. As long as he was learning and loving it, could they really complain?

"I've very proud of you both," John looked between his sons and bounced Julie on his knee," I just ask one thing."

"Anything, dad," Dean gently spoke.

John looked to the little girl in his arms who had cheese around her mouth from the macaroni," please look after your sister, I have a feeling she won't have a been one in her body."

"Yes sir," Dean quickly said.

Sam nodded," always. No matter what."


	2. Chapter 2

**Yellow Eyes**

Marry sat on the front porch with Julie in her lap as she braided her daughters hair. Julie's hair was almost and exact replica of her mothers, it was bright blonde and smelled of her vanilla shampoo. The world was quiet until Dean and Sam zoomed by on their bikes, disturbing the peace with laughter and boasting.

"Be careful, boys!" She exclaimed to them, she definitely didn't feel like visiting the hospital tonight for broken bones. She exhaled deeply when the boys hadn't heard her, her nerves were on every edge possible.

"Mommy?" Julies sweet voiced questioned.

"Yes, baby?" Marry let her daughter be her primary focus for right now.

"When can I ride a bike?" Julie sounded deeply saddened at not being able to join her brothers.

"You really want to be out there, huh?" Marry smiled," well, you're three now and your brothers started riding when they were five, you've got two more years, sweetie."

Julie sighed and slumped her shoulders," I want to go to school and ride a bike, but it'll take forever!" Marry's heart throbbed at how Julie felt about this.

"I know, it may not seem like it now, but it'll be here before you know it."

Julie went along with her mother," okay, mommy."

 **DEAN POV**

"Sammy we should probably slow down!"I called to my younger brother. I was aware of the sharp turn that was coming up and he was not-he needed to stop or slow down, but I don't think he heard me.

"What?" Sam quizzed.

I rolled my eyes a bit," Sam, I said I think we should-" before I could finish, Sam had over shot the curve and the bike was out from under him and he landed with a thud on his side. Being more experienced in riding bikes, I stopped mine skillfully and ran to my brother,"- Sammy are you okay?" I looked him over for any cuts or injuries.

Sam groaned a little but as he held up his scraped arm," I'm okay," he voice," but I think this is it."

I relaxed more now,"good, we should have mom clean that before it gets infected." I helped my brother stand and we walked our bikes back to the house.

I chuckled at him," you didn't hear me the first time I said to slow down."

The brunet rolled his eyes, "alright, Dean, I get- just don't tell mom okay? She'll never let us ride bikes again. Can we just tell her my breaks stopped working?"

I nodded," got it, the breaks stopped working and the bike came out from under you-that's...not totally lying," I was glad I'd taught him to lie like a pro," that sounds believable, but there's just one problem.

"What then?"

"Dad will inspect your breaks, so I'm going to have to actually break them," I informed him.

"You'd do that for me, Dean?" Sam asked in awe as he looked at me.

" _'Course_ ," I smiled at him as we approached the house.

 **Third Person POV**

The next day the boys left the house to head off to school. Their father was waiting in the car which was a very sleek, black 1967 Chevy Impala," you boys be careful! Dean, don't start any fights, and Sam good luck on your test!" Marry called out the door as her sons entered the car. She crossed her arms and sighed. Today seemed to be a good day, but something seemed off. She couldn't quite explain it, but it felt like she was waiting on the edge of her seat for something. Back when she was a hunter, this feeling always meant that she was being watched. This life was supposed to be a new start so she blew it off, it had to be some-odd-hunter's-nostalgia or something.

Marry went back into the living room where she resumed folding the laundry. Julie was playing on the floor in front of her with Dean's old dinosaur toys. Every now and then she would starting singing a song or ask questions that Marry may or may not know the answer to.

"Can we go outside later, mommy?" Julie wondered happily all of the sudden.

Marry smiled at her daughter's cuteness," That sounds like a wonderful idea sweetheart, how about when your brothers get back, we'll all go out, how's that sound?"

She smiled with your teeth coming in and exclaimed a 'yay!" She became bouncy and giggly at the thought of spending time with her siblings. How could she not be happy?

Marry returned to her folding with a smile on her face. Just as she laid a white hand towel down on the organized pile, she could've sworn she saw something. It looked, near where the stairs met the floor, as if a shadow ducked quickly from peeking. A chill went down her spin as she thought of the worst case possible, and the worst case possible came flooding in her mind. How had she not remembered that deal she made all those years ago? She did the math mentally in her head and went a little pale. She made sure Julie was was occupied with her toys and didn't see her worried as much as she was. It was the 1983 and her ten happy years were up.

There was absolutely no way she was mentioning this to the kids, John maybe, but she feared he would be enraged with her. She could at least tell her husband of the shadow she had seen. Sure, it could've been her eyes playing tricks on her, but in her line of work, this was no coincidence.

It was nighttime now and during the summer, it was time for lighteningbugs. Marry and John watched happily from their porch as their babies ran around the yard trying to catch as many bugs as they could. Sam and Julie were currently running around together, while Dean stood over by the tree with a cluster of shiny bugs in his hand.

"Sammy, I caught one!" Julie cried happily and showed her closed fist to her brother. He came over to her and she opened her hand for him to see.

"Good job, sis, although I think we need three or four more to beat Dean," Sam showed Julie his hand that held two of them.

"how many does he have?" The three year old wondered as she looked to where dean stood, the air was alive with flashes of yellow light.

Sam smiled down at Julie, he knew his sister was very smart and could figure this out,"well, what's four plus one?"

she thought for a second before happily voicing,"five!"

"that's right Julie-bean," Sam used a free hand to ruffle her blonde tresses.

Suddebly John's voice came from the porch," alright kids, it's time to go in, its time for bed." The three siblings shared a sigh and a groan, no one _actually_ ready to go in.

These children knew better than to disobey their parents so they marched inside and their mother led them to the bathroom. She helped her kids brush their teeth and get ready for bed. She tucked them all in with equal love before moving to the next child. Sam, however, called to his mother before she left.

"What is it, sweetheart?" She quizzed.

Sam looked a little scared all of the sudden and shy," do-do you think I could get a nightlight for my room? It's too dark."

Marry's brows furrowed," does the dark scare you, honey?" She came into the room more and sat on the edge of his bed.

Sam nodded.

"We'll go get you one tomorrow,okay?" She cooed,"you can pick it out yourself." She smiled warmly.

Sam gave a small sigh of relief," thanks, mom." His mother felt bad for not knowing about this sooner.

Marry tucked some brown hair away from his eyes as she assured,"you have nothing to worry about though, alright? Mommy and daddy will always be here to keep you safe." Sam nodded at her words again,"sleep well, my love." And she stood and left the room for good. She felt an odd sensation sweep over her as she left that room, she sensed that something was about to drastically change, but couldn't put a name to it. The deal she made ten years ago haunted her brain, but it couldn't happen tonight. Maybe just one more day it could wait? She needed sleep and she would inform her husband of the shadow she'd seen tomorrow. Sleep now, worry later.

Marry's head hit the pillow and she began tossing and turning. She couldn't shake this feeling of being watched, she was on edge so the deep sleep she longed for never found her. She looked up to her digital clock on the night stand. Midnight. She looked to her other side and found that her husband wasn't there. She blinked up at the ceiling for a moment and finally decided to seek out her husband.

As she made her trek to the kitchen, she had to pass Sammy's room. When she saw his bedroom door open, her brows furrowed. She remembered closing that door very distinctly. She went to the doorframe and looked in.

Oddly enough, it seemed her husband was looking over Sam's bed. What was John doing in Sam's room so late?"John? Why don't you come to bed? It's late." But he didn't turn to her and she thought that very odd, she knew she spoke clearly and loud enough. Maybe John just needed some alone time? It wouldn't be the first time she'd found him in the kids' rooms late at night. She sighed and walked off. A glass of water sounded pretty soothing.

She began walking down the hall that led to the stairwell when the wall lights began to flicker," what's going on?" She muttered softly as she tapped one of the light and it stabilized. Today was Turing out to be pretty odd.

As she descended the step she noticed the glow from the TV. Thinking John left it in before visiting Sam, she approached it more. Until she noticed something that made her stomach jump in her throat. Her husband, John, was asleep on the recliner. _That wasn't her husband in Sammy room._

"oh God!" She gasped and bolted up the sairs,"Sammy! Sammy!" When she came to his room she was met with those familiar yellow eyes she'd seen so long ago. "No!" She cried and all at once she was placed on the ceiling and her stomach was sliced. She screamed loudly, John needed to hear her so he could keep the kids safe.

"Marry?" John was awake and alert now. When he head more screaming she zoomed up to Sammy's room. Sam was in tears,"Marry?!" He looked around but didn't see her. He looked at his terrified son who was in histartics," shh calm down, son-it's okay." He tried wipe his tears when he noticed some blood on his forehead. It certainly wasn't his own and he slowly looked up.

He gasped and fell over at the sight. His wife was anchored to the ceiling and sliced at her abdomen. A raging fire had erupted around her from nowhere and engulfed the room. John's heard his daughter crying in her room now. He picked up the terrified Sam when Dean rushed in.

"Dean!" He got his attention," you take your brother outside-NOW! GO!" And Dean rushed out with his six yer old brother over his shoulder. John ran to his daughter's room and picked her up quickly," shh it's okay baby." He ran outside and joined his sons.

John became distant then. He sat in the hood of the Impala with Julie in his arms, Dean was beside him who also consoled a sleeping Sam. The police officer came over and requested that John answer some questions away from his kids. He passed Julie into Dean's small arms and said," you watch them, Dean," and that was the last real moment they'd had with the father they once knew.


	3. Chapter 3

**Young**

Julie POV

"Why do we have to stay here, daddy?" I wondered. I wanted to go home and I didn't really understand why mommy wasn't here with us.

John went about getting me out of the car, he said we were staying in a place called a motel," because we need a place to stay while the house gets fixed," he answered flatly. I had noticed that he wasn't looking me in the eye... _had I done something wrong?_

"And where's mommy?" I asked as he opened the door to a small room that had two beds, a small sitting area for a living room and a tiny kitchen, and most likely, only one bathroom. This place smelled funny and I didn't like it.

Something in John snapped," Jesus, kid, you ask a lot of questions. Mommy can't be here right now- or _ever_." He stormed off with that and slammed the bathroom door shut.

I stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do or where to go. I eyed my brothers who looked at me with sad eyes,"I don't get it..." tears started to brim my eyes. Dean came over to me and crouched,"bubby did I hurt his feelings?"

He shook his head,"no, see, he just...uh..he's just really busy right now-you didn't do anything wrong," Dean smiled warmly. He used a hand to clear my eyes of my bangs and wipe my wet cheeks. He gently picked me up and sat on the bed with me cuddled to his chest. I felt safe like this.

"Where's mommy, Dee? Wh-why did he say we'd never see her again?" I sniffled into him. Part of me already had a feeling as to what those words meant, and a bigger part of me felt like I wasn't supposed to know.

Dean stayed quiet for a moment,"Mom's with angels, Julie." I heard the pain in his voice and I understood then. Mommy was in heaven and I wouldn't see her again... _ever_.

The next day I wanted to stay close to this motel room and not leave-too afraid on what endeavors lurked in the real world. When Dad woke up he left without saying a word. Dean, being the oldest, was left in charge of looking after his siblings and that's what he did. However, it didn't take a three year old to see the sadness he was concealing. None of us had slept well last night. I was in between my two brothers on one of the beds and I had horrible nightmare of the small house in Kansas swarmed in flame. None of us knew when dad was coming back, or why he was out, but we tried to make the best of our time here. There was school for the boys in the morning and I would be alone with my father. I wasn't opposed to being with him, but he was scaring me at the moment. I convinced myself that I would be okay as long as I stuck it out until Dean and Sam got here.

"I'm starving," Sam announced as he played with one of the silver cutlery. He looked bored out of his mind, and still, deeply sad.

Dean looked around,"Dad didn't say anything about coming back any time soon," he stated as he gazed out the motel window. When the sound of my rumbling belly caught his ears, he nodded with a chuckle,"I guess I'll go find something".

"You don't have any money, Dean," Sam worried.

Dean was at the door putting on a leather jacket that was a little too big for him,"don't worry Sammy, I'll find something."

I piped up now," is there nothing in the cabinets?"

Dean shook his head," but you two, look after the place while I am out-and if someone knocks on the door, make sure its either me or dad let no one else in. okay?" His tone was the most serious we had ever heard.

We nodded our heads. We completely understood.

Dean walked out the door and it was just Sammy and I,"so what do we do now?" Sam asked me. I shrugged my shoulders, I didn't have the slightest clue on what to do. There were no toys here, there were only paper pencils and other grown-up-stuff that I didn't know what to do with. Everything we had, except for the clothes on our backs, was what we left with from the fire.

"I know!" Sam got up and went around the room grabbing a few things. When he sat back down at the round dinning table, he had found some paper and pencils. What was I to do with this? I looked at him in confusion.

"We're going to have a drawing contest!"He smiled happily. I sat up at that. This could be fun!

"Okay!" I giggled," what do we draw?" I held the pencil ready in my hand.

Sam thought for a moment," how about...a squid!" He laughed and you both went about sketching your drawings. When Sam called time it was time to reveal the art and who ever had the best, gets a point.

Bother of you held up your portioned and examined the others' work," wow Julie...that's actually really good. I think you win this round." it was unannounced to me just how much Sam thought my drawing was advanced for my age.

"Now can I pick since I won?" I asked sweetly. Sam looked at me with a smirk.

"Sure thing, Julie-bean," He smirked.

"Yay! okay...ummm...lets draw Dean!" My bubbly laughter filled the room, there were so many was to go with this. I could draw him with an extra eye, maybe a long mustache, or in a funny costume! Sam shared my laughter and eagerly went about drawing.

This drawing took a little longer, but as we drew, when one of us would laugh, so would the other. I supposed he was making something funny as well. When I was done, I called time.

We both held up our designs and laughed until we had tears in our eyes. Sam's drawing of Dean was very comical, because he drew Dean with pointed teeth, and with a bigger than normal nose. My drawing was of Dean wearing a tiara in a fairy outfit. We joked and continued the game until it was nearly night time and Dean let himself in with his own key, which startled us from our fun.

Dean looked a little put out," I've got dinner" he held it up proudly. I noticed Sam look at Dean with a quizzed gaze. I didn't know what he was looking at because my main focus was food.

"Food!" I exclaimed happily. Dean came over and set a bag of Mcdonalds on the table. Together Sam and I dug in. When Dean sat down from putting his jacket up he rested his hands on the table and watched us chow down.

"What about you, Dean? Aren't you going to eat?" Sam wondered. I looked over at my oldest brother and sure enough, he wasn't touching the food. I caught a glimpse of his hand and saw a red stain there that made me gasp. He noticed my reaction and hid his hands under the table.

"Don't worry, Sammy, I already ate. You guys eat," he instructed. I didn't need to be told twice and I munched happily on my nuggets and fries. Sam, however, was hesitant to eat, but he lapped it up nonetheless.

As I finished I eyed my Dean drawing and giggled.

"What?" dean asked with a tiny smile on his own face. What could he say? My laughter was contagious.

"We played a drawing game, and we drew you!" I offered the picture of Dean to him, who looked at it and a smiled filled his face.

"This is really good, Jul!" and then he started to laugh," a tiara? Really?"

I began laughing more at his reaction,"it's funny!"

"Jul, I don't think I'd look good in a fairy costume," he watched me laugh.

"You've never been in one, so you can't say that," I looked at him happily.

He nodded and set the picture down, I guess I can't,huh?" I nodded in reply. He watched us eat for a 'nother minute before exclaiming," you know what's cool, though?"

In unison, Sam and I asked a 'what'.

"We didn't have to go to school today because dad's not here to drive us," he crossed his arms with and smirked smugly.

Sam's head flew back and he groaned," Crap! I wanted to do the experiment in science class."

I laughed at his reaction," you're a nerd."

the night went on with just my brothers to keep me company and I had fallen asleep before dad came back. But when he did he said nothing and fell in his own bed. He didn't even glance at us for even a second. I found my self dreaming of my mother and how much I missed her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Real Life Fairy tales**

After that November day in Lawrence, Kansas, we spent our time in motels, and I began to accept the fact that our little home was never going to get fixed. We'd all aged a year, I was four, Sam was seven, and Dean was eleven. Motels became home now and school, when dad did decide to take us, was always a new look. We never stayed long in one place and I never knew why. Dean, too began growing a little distant after dad pulled him in a room, and he came out a little more pale than usual...kind of like he'd seen a ghost. After that, there were nights when _both_ Dean and Dad went out, they didn't come back for long periods of time, Dean was the only one who came back with food or new clothing articles.

Ever since the boys said I was good at drawing, Dean and Sam had gifted me with a sketch book on Christmas. I felt bad having nothing to give to them, but they assured that just having me happy was enough for them. I drew in that book as often as I could. When dad and Dean started leaving every now and then, Sam and I were kept indoors almost all the time. We could only go out if we had someone to watch over us.

"Dean, we need to go out again, just got a call about a case thirty minutes away," dad shook his phone in his hand as evidence and emphasis.

My older brother nodded," okay, dad," he agreed.

"You think you can handle it?" dad asked out loud.

Dean nodded as if it really didn't bother him,"I can do it, dad."

Sam and I looked at each other in confusion from our spots on the couch. I hoped it wasn't just me and my young brain not being to understand what the two were getting at, but from Sam's look, he didn't understand either. The both of us had had to listen to dad and Dean talk like this back in forth, it was like they didn't _want_ us to catch on or understand. Finally, Sam had had enough and stood up.

"You can't just say those things in front of us. Where do you go every other day out of the week? Why do you come back with blood on you? If you think that Julie and I are immune to any of this, you're wrong," Sam huffed," what are you guys up to? We're all we got left, please do not start keeping secrets." He crossed his arms. I looked at dad and Dean for their reactions to Sam, Dean was the only one who looked proud, dad, however, looked unhappy...but he always looks like that.

"Yeah!" I added," You're rarely home, and when I do get to see you, you're always sleepy," I tried giving my two cents.

Dad looked over at Dean and sighed," it's time they know". Dean nodded in agreement.

"Know what?" Sam dropped his arms,"what is going on?"

"You'll both need to sit down for this one- on the bed, both of you," dad instructed. We did as we were told the first time and made our way over to the beds.

Dad looked to Dean," should you say it? Or should I break it to them like I did to you?"

Dean's eyes went wide," I'll tell them!" he rushed out quickly. He stood in front of his siblings who sat on the bed, awaiting their answers anxiously.

"Okay," Dean began," I'd like to start by saying that I am sorry we haven't been here a lot- we do have a good reason," he swallowed. It worried me that he was effected like he was,"I'm just gonna say it, all of the folklore and mythical things we learn growing up, all of it...is _real_." Dean said calmly. Sam and I looked at each other and for a split second did nothing, then all at once we burst out in laughter. All that serious build up and then to joke and tell us that mythical beings were real! I wasn't laughing, you see because, I didn't think they weren't, I was in hysterics because I already _knew_ they were real.

"Of course unicorns are real, Dean," I told him while giggling. I didn't miss the small smile that formed on his lips.

Sam's laughter arose more,"Dean, that is really funny, I'm sorry Julie," he turned to looked at me and then back to his brother,"but there's no way that's true, none of that stuffs real". right, Sam preferred to argue science over fiction.

I gasped and wacked his arm. He gasped and I quickly said," Sammy they are real!"

Just as Sam and I were about to get into it dad stepped in, he was very unhappy that we took none of this seriously,"Listen here!" He yelled and I flinched into Sam. All of our eyes were on dad as he spoke with anger and impatience,"This shit is _real_ , and it's _dangerous_ : it will kill you, tear you apart, and ruin your life. This isn't something to be taken lightly! You know what's real? Werewolves, zombies, vampires, witches, Gods, demi-Gods,

demons, ghouls and shapeshifters, and that doesn't even scratch the surface of the narly shit that's out there. Now," his voice took a slightly more clam manor," before I met your mother, I hunted these monsters. I was a lot younger than you when I started hunting my first ghost, I think it's time you learned how to protect your self and how to fight the bad guys," Dad looked over our terrified faces. I didn't even realize I had tear running down my face, I had been silently crying. Dad sat down and wiped a hand over his face," You're mother was killed by a demon." He looked at his kids now," rather than sitting here and doing nothing, Dean and I have been training and trying to hunt down the bastard, but we can't do it alone."

Sam and I were quiet, not sure what to say at this point, then dad, dropped a bomb," which is _why_ you two will begin training tomorrow." With that he got up and headed for the door,"I'll be in the car, Dean". And he left out the door.

We looked to Dean with tearful expressions, still not knowing what to do or say. Dean came up and wiped my tears away and hugged us. He had no idea our father was going to be so blunt like that,"I'm sorry guys," he held us for a second and we held him back. He pulled away," it's really not so bad, I promise...I'll uhh," he was nearing the door,"I'll be back with dinner", and just like that, he was gone too.

"Training" took place in an abandon warehouse. The whole car ride here was eerily silent, my mind was racing with all the words I wanted to say, but couldn't formulate them into speaking properly. To calm myself down I accepted the fact that I was with my family and family doesn't let each other get hurt... _right?_

"Alright, Sam," Dad gestured to a wooden dummy he had made from scratch. Dad held up a black handgun. The sight of the weapon caused my heart rate to pick up a little. _I was with family. I was safe_ ,"This is a highpower pistol-" dad began pointing to certain parts of weapon,"-this is the slide-that is what you use to cock the gun. Once you've loaded your clip in and cocked it, you aim, and you shoot." Dad's stare at Sam made Sammy swallow hard. Dad held the gun out for Sam to take and Sam stared at it in shock,"you take this gun right now, son." Not wanting to disobey, Sam took the gun and held it before him. He glanced at Dean and I. I noticed Dean from the corner of my eye give him a small nod.

Sam's training consisted of shooting the dummy and we weren't allowed to leave or move on until Sam could hit the target square in the chest or in the head. After tears from Sam he hit the target perfectly three times in a row.

"Ha!See! I told you you were a good shot. It's in your blood, boy," Dad clapped Sam on the back and and smiled proudly. He nodded at the perfectly shot target and then turned to me were I sat on Dean's lap," Alright, baby doll, you're next." My stomach jumped in my throat. My eyes went wide and I looked to Dean, he looked back with shame in his eyes.

"Daddy I don't want to..." I pleaded.

"I'm sorry, but you have to, baby doll," He came over to me and took my arm,"you are four, Julie. Do you know how old I was when I started training?" dad had got down on his knee to look at me. I don't really know how I felt about him being this close to my face. I shook my head no to his question. He continued," I was two when I was given a book on monsters. I was three and shooting dummy point blank. By four, I had already killed: this is going easy on you, Julie." He wiped a tear that I didn't know had fallen. Without warning he had taken my arm and dragged me in front of the dummy. He place the weapon in my hands and instructed me to aim and shoot.

I was a sobbing mess, I didn't want to do this and the loud noise of the gun scared me deeply.

"Dad, don't be so hard on her," Dean's voice came as he tried to stick up for me.

"SHut it, Dean! If you keep babying her like you do, she won't be able to get the job done," dad spat at my brother.

"She _is_ a baby," Dean muttered. It was as clear as a bell, but dad elected to ignore that comment.

Dad used rough hands to position my arms up," You know who whines, Julie?" He told me privately. I didn't want to hear his answer," _babies_. Now, suck up your tears and shoot the target. As I said, no one leaves until I know you've got this. Shoot the damn gun, Julie!" Dad ordered and I did. I suppose it was a little nice of him to pre-cock the gun for me, because I had struggled with it. When I aimed and fired the first two bullets hit their mark... _on the first try._ I blinked in shock, as did the rest of my family.

I looked up to my dad who was smiling with pride and also shock. I had no idea how I shot it correctly, I literally just aimed and shot as I was instructed,"Daddy...I don't know how-" he cut me off.

"You're a natural, darling! Do it again," he instructed. I swallowed hard. I didn't know how I did it the first time, _how was I supposed to do it a second?_ I muttered a small okay before raising the gun and firing two more perfect shot in the bulls-eye. Dad's laughter filled the empty room and echoed off of the walls," Well I'll be damned...looks like you're going up a level next time we practice." He took the gun away from me and looked at me, he was glowing with pride, however I felt nothing , but confusion.

"How about we go get some ice cream, huh?" He asked. Was this his way of awarding me? I wasn't going to have it.

I shook my head,"I just wanna go home." At my words dad's smile fell. We continued to stare into each others eyes. Dean took this moment to wrap an arm on my shoulder and lead me out with Sam.

"You did good, sis," Dean whispered," you're gonna be okay."

We got in the impala and I sat in the back with Sam. I was quiet sitting there, I didn't really know what to say or how to even begin explaining how I shot that gun perfectly.

"That was amazing Julie-bean, how did you do it?" Sam asked. Interested, Dean looked at us from the front and I shook my head again.

"I don't know," I answered with a twinge of fear. What did my next training session consist of? What would all of this turn me into? Sam sensed my distress and pulled me to him in a hug. He held me close and I fell asleep in the safety of my brother.


	5. Chapter 5

**It's A Hunter's Life for Me**

Dean put a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of me and kissed my forehead. I hummed happily. It'd been a while since we'd had a good breakfast, we were lucky that Dean had enough money to pay for a few items _this_ time.

I waited for my brothers to sit down at eat with me. When they did they conversed among themselves and I went to fork some eggs into my mouth. A jolt of pain hit me when my fork tapped against my loose tooth. I muttered a small 'ow' and then set my fork down and pushed the food away. It didn't look so appetizing since that meant eating came with pain. Sam noticed my actions and looked at me in worry.

"What's wrong, Jul?" He worried.

I looked at him with hesitation. I'd lost teeth before and I hated the whole process," my loose tooth is bothering me," I confessed. Since I've turned seven I've lost four teeth so far.

Dean smiled then," well, I've got the solution right here," he rolled up his plaid sleeves and displayed his hands. Dean was fourteen and it was obvious from his slightly altered voice.

I shook my head knowing what he meant," I don't want it to hurt if you pull it!" I wasn't very fond of pain.

"I promise, I'm not gonna hurt you, princess," Dean tried to calm me.

I searched his eyes for any lie or hesitation before nodding and walking over to his side of the table.

"Just don't make it hurt," I whined.

He looked at me with certainty," I promise I won't, Jul." I opened my mouth and pointed to the front tooth that was barely hanging on. Dean wrapped his thumb and forefinger around it," look at me," he instructed. I did and suddenly his hand was pulled back. "I got it!" He exclaimed happily.

"Nuh uh! I didn't feel anything! There's no way, Dean," I crossed my arms. I hoped he wasn't just messing with me, I truly had felt nothing.

"Look," he said and showed me his hand. In his palm rested my tooth. I smiled up at him.

"Oh my goodness! Dee I really thought you hadn't got it!" I hugged him around his neck. Now the taste of blood was filling my mouth. Dean saw it and handed me a napkin. I ate my breakfast after the bleeding stopped with a smile. That tooth had caused me some trouble for a while. I knew that other monsters and popular folklore were real, but they were dangerous. At least I still had the tooth fairy.

We'd finished breakfast and lounged around the motel. Today was one of those days where Dean didn't have to help dad with a hunt. I was glad to spend any time with him that I could.

Since our training, dad only worked us harder. After my unknown ability to shoot a handgun perfectly, dad started teaching me how to reload the weapon, mild sparring, and how to properly use a knife in melee fights. My brothers and I were still shocked to discover that I excelled in most of the other curriculum as well. I didn't know why I was so good at it, but it saved me a beating from dad.. _.I wished Sam could say the same._

Dad walked into the room a few hours later and greeted us with a mumble. I felt compelled to tell him of my tooth.

"Daddy, guess what!" I said from where I went to go pick up my tooth from the table.

"What?" He looked at me with not much interest.

"Dean pulled my tooth!" I said as I help it up proudly. Dean was smiling from where he sat, glad he could brighten my spirits this much.

Dad walked up to me and plucked the tooth from my fingers," that's nice, sweetheart," he said and then he tossed the tooth in the garbage can,"keep 'em coming." I felt defeated as he walked to one of the beds and plopped down. I held my own hands not knowing what to do with them. I wasn't sure why I expected more from him, but I was starting to learn that I should expect nothing from anyone: that way my feelings wouldn't get hurt if they turned me down. I crossed the room and sat in between the boys on the couch. Usually, I'd be crying at something like that, but no more. Crying is for children.

Sam placed his hand on my shoulder and I gave him a small smile. He returned a sad one and I looked away. I wasn't really watching the tv screen as I molded over what actually made a "father". I came to the conclusion that mine, didn't exactly fit the bill.

"We've got a werewolf to kill tonight, kids. Are you ready?" John wondered. He'd woken up from his nap and it was nearly 10:30pm. We all nodded and told him a 'yes, sir'. "Good," he nodded," I'll be in the car. Be there in ten minutes or less." He orders and left the room.

I sighed deeply and sought out my oldest brother," hey Dean?"

He looked up from his duffle bag," yeah, Julie-Bean?"

"Can you braid my hair real fast?" I asked with a sheepish smile. I didn't know how to do it myself and I felt bad for asking, but ever since it was just us, I didn't know how, but he found a way to learn how to braid hair...just for _me_.

He nodded," 'course." He finished with his packing and sat behind me on the bed. I sat between his legs and he threaded his fingers into my hair skillfully. Usually mom would do this, but the role went to Dean after the fire. He seemed like he was happy to do it, anyway. After the first couple-ten-braids he'd basically mastered it.

While he worked, we made small talk.

"Julie I want you to be ready for tonight, I know you've seen Sammy and I kill a few, but I think dad's making you call the shots tonight," he warned.

"I can do it, Dean," I voiced firmly. I actually didn't know if I would be able to, but I idolized Dean. If he could do it, then dammit I could to!

Dean was nearing the bottom of my hair," it's not as easy as it looks, Juls. Seeing is one thing, but then to actually do it..." he trailed off. He finished braiding and pulled me to his chest. He rest his chin on top of my hair.

"We're saving people right?" I questioned.

"Always," he replied.

"Then I'll be okay," I stared surely. My sudden maturity must've struck something with my brother.

He kissed the top of my head and stood up, heading for the door," I'm proud of you, Jul," he said with his back turned.

"Thanks, Dee," I responded and put my coat on before taking Sam's hand and walking out the door.

It was just like Dean said: dad was making me pull the trigger on this one. Unease settled in my stomach for some reason. I knew I was a good shot-I knew I'd hit my target, but I supposed the idea of actually ending a life was still new to me.

The werewolf had dashed across the room. It had done a number on my brothers and dad. They were all wounded on the ground and looked to me for help.

The female werewolf stood before me, barring her teeth," ha! So this is what I have to work with? A kid? Well then I'll make this fast," she began stalking towards me-eyes gleaming in the moonlight. I froze in fear then.

"Dammit Julie! Pull the trigger! Shoot her!" I heard John yell at me. I raised the gun and aimed, yet I still didn't fire.

A whimper escaped my lips and Dean's voice reached me," she's a bad guy, Julie! We're saving people, if _she_ doesn't exist." With his encouragement I fire most of my clip of silver bullets into her brain. I lowered my weapon and looked at he dead body in shock. Dead. She was dead because of _me_.

Dean pulled me into a hug," D-Dean I..." I didn't know what to say. I'd just killed something.

"Hey," he began tucking my bangs behind my ear," it's okay, Jul...you're okay. You did good. She won't hurt any more innocent people now," he cooed to me.

I liked to him with wide eyes, still not finding my voice. Sam stood behind me with his hand on my back.

"You two need to knock it off with babying her-your first kill is not that big of a deal. That shit needs to end, now." Dad growled.

My siblings and I chose to ignore him the. As they focused on me in my stricken state. I asked, Dean, referring back to what he'd said to me that she won't hurt the innocent anymore," promise?"

"We promise, Jul," Sam spoke. I nodded and dad ushered us all out of the building. The ride was filled with silence, except the AC/DC music that was playing on the radio. Dad was driving us to Bobby's to stay because we weren't ready for a Crocotta hunt in Illinois yet.

All I could think of was how I'd just ended the life of something as I absentmindedly ran my tongue over the empty space were my tooth had been.

The next morning I woke up with a simple necklace under my pillow from the tooth fairy. When I showed Dean what I'd got with a happy smile. He smiled like he knew something I didn't. I decided to brush off his expression, I was just happy the tooth fairy didn't forget about me.

-

 **A/N** : Necklace reference: 131/1/11311656/il_340x270.1084710461_


	6. Chapter 6

**Close**

Dean and I entered the new motel room with smiles on our faces. The case had gone very well: I was a beast with a gun against those monsters. We stopped abruptly when we saw our sixteen year-old brother sitting on the bed with his face in a book. There was nothing bad about this picture, of course, just it wasn't a lore book...it was a school textbook.

"Whatcha doin', Sammy?" I asked him, both Dean and I watching our brother closely.

He looked up and his eyes widened,"uhh...it's uhh," he swallowed," Look-I just want to be normal, okay?"

My brows furrowed in confusion,"you don't want to be a hunter, do you?" I looked to Dean to see how he was handling this, he looked very unhappy.

"Sammy I know this life ain't all peaches n' cream, but we're all we've got. Beside you _are_ normal," Dean tried.

"How, Dean?" Sam stood and began challenging his brother. I did not want this to become a fight," what kind of kid is going out and killing ghosts and vampire! This stuff is supposed to be fake! I just want to go to school and have a _real_ life," Sam panted,"I never wanted this, neither did Julie." Sam speaking for me was uncalled for.

"I never said that, Sam. I'd rather be with family and protecting innocent people than doing anything remotely normal," I said my piece. I'm twelve now and I'm happy to be doing the sort of job we have: I've saved more lives than I would have if I was "normal".

"You know what?" Dean started harshly," you want out? Fine, but just know that dad is gonna be on your ass for this and that hunters rarely get "out"."

"I don't care," Sam looked at the ground sadly,"I'll do what ever it takes to leave this mess."

I went up and hugged him. If he wanted to leave, okay, but I just wanted the best for him,"then be careful". He held be back and chuckled muttering a small 'I will'.

When Dad found the textbooks that night, by Sam's bed, he was furious. He told Sam that he was weak for wanting to leave. He called him all the insults in the book, but Sam still held his chin high as tears rushed down his cheeks. The will power of my brother was inspiring and I knew that if he remained a hunter, he would be a force to reckon with.

Later that day Sam found me outside in one of the small gardens that the motel had. The second we arrived and I saw the small hummingbird feeder, I knew I had to be over here, sketching out whatever caught my eye. I was sitting with my legs crossed beside a rosebush. The foliage hid me from the birds and I was able to draw the birds as they came and fed. Their little chirps and buzz of wings soothed me to my core...I even almost forgot about hunting for a moment. Sam sitting beside me caught my attention,"hey Sammy" I greeted.

"Hey Jul," He sighed as he watched the hummingbirds feed. He got sight of my notebook and smiled,"you drew those?"

I rolled my eyes,"well I don't see who else could have." I leaned closer and let him see what I was working on. I'd filled the page with hummingbirds and some of the flowers I was currently seeing in the garden.

"These are pretty freaking awesome, Jul," He praised.

I nudged him with my shoulder," thanks, nerd." It was almost funny. The both of us excelled in hunting, probably because we literally grew up in it, but we had other talents: I could draw and Sam was an information wiz.

"You think, We'll ever get out?" Sam wondered softly.

I shrugged and stopped my drawing for a second,"I don't know, Sam. Personally, I'm happy doing this, but if you want to go and be something else, who are we to tell you any different? I mean, dad can't take away your free will."

He nodded in agreement and stayed silent for a moment. Together we just watched the little birds feed and fight over the sugar-water.

"This is nice," I hummed to my brother. Hummingbirds were close to my favorite animal, my favorite being horses-they were poetry in motion.

Sam perked up suddenly,"hey, what can you tell me about hummingbirds?"

I smirked, he knew my weakness: facts about animals. I did an intake of breath," well," I started," there are about 325 species that we know of, and only eight of those breed with in the United States...should I go on?" I thought maybe this stuff would bore Sam.

He shook his head," I don't mind learning facts about creatures that normal people are used to." The wind blew his brown hair.

"Okay, umm..." I thought as I observed the hummingbird perch on the feeder," well they can't hop or walk around like other birds."

"Why?" He wondered seeming genuinely interested.

"Their feet were evolved how they are so they can be more efficient flyers. And Ruby-Throated Hummingbirds weigh about three grams...for comparison, a buckle weighs 4.5 grams," I informed him. That seemed to really interest him.

He thought for a second, " so in that case, one hundred and fifty of those Ruby-Throats make one pound."

I giggled," I suppose." I leaned my head on his shoulder before suggesting that we go in. He agreed and right in front of the door, something shiny caught my eye. Sam had already entered the building and I noticed a very oddly placed hummingbird charm. This hadn't been there before was it? Were we being watched? I furrowed my brows and entered the room.

Dean looked up from the kitchen counter and greeted me, asking me what I had found. I blew the whole thing off and it was, just simply, a coincidence," nothing." And I walked up to him. He looked at me in confusion and I clipped the charms to the necklace Sam gave him.

"A hummingbird?" He questioned.

"It's one of my favorite animals and now you've always got your Julie-bird close to your heart," I mouthed before walking off, missing Dean's small smile.

"I feel weird for asking this, but where's dad?" I wondered out loud. There wasn't a case today and he doesn't go to bars this early.

Dean picked up the conversation,"uh he said he had something in Missouri he had to go do," Dean shrugged," looks like you're stuck with us."

I nodded in understanding. Somewhere along the way of living with dad after mom died, I'd accepted there are still some things I will never fully understand: the internal thoughts of my father were one of them. I laughed at what Dean had said," stuck with you, huh? That's rich," I pulled out some nail polish from my bag," it's more like you're stuck with me-who wants to do each other's nails?" Both boys paled.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Bird On My Shoulder**

"Sam, you walk out that door, I don't ever want to see you again!" I heard my dad yell from outside the bathroom. I came out to see my eighteen year old brother Sam, at the door with a duffel bag and his collage acceptance letter from Stanford.

"Good, because anywhere beats living in this shit hole. I just feel sorry," Sam stood his ground. Dean saw me standing there and gave me an apologetic look.

Dad looked more mad than he'd ever been. I didn't not want to be in Sam's shoes right now," oh yeah? And why's that?" Dad's voice was a deadly calm.

"I'm sorry because I can't bring Dean and Julie with me-they deserve better than this!" Sam growled.

Dad got in Sam face and yelled back, making me flinch," what they get is saving lives, Sam! How in the hell are you going to to do that at some damn school!"

"It's Stanford!" Sam said. Dead decided to get between the two, his back to Sam.

"Dad, if we could just talk about this, all calm-like, I'm sure-" Dean was interrupted when Dad fist collided with his face. Dean stumbled and fell to the floor on his butt. He looked at him he'd never been hit like that before...well...at least that hard.

"Stay the fuck out of this, Dean, you're not the problem-Sam is!" Dad turned back to the middle child.

Sam looked beyond hurt at that comment," You think I'm a problem?"

Dad's gaze remained cold," no...I know you're the problem."

Sam nodded as tears began to brim his eyes," I see," he looked to Dean and I," you two be careful, I'll be in touch." Sam finished as he walked out the door without looking back. I didn't have the slightest clue in what to do.

"Don't you ever come back!" Dad slammed the door so hard the nozzle almost came off. Both Dean and I flinched. We both watched in horror as dad went around the room and wrecked it. He flung tables across the room, papers in the air, broke glass-Dean used his body and a shield for me. When had finished he was in his knees and a panting mess.

A moment of silence went by before Dean spoke softly," dad?" Dad instantly glared up at Dean. I couldn't believe what I was seeing with my own eyes.

I'd seen many monsters so far in my life, but nothing quite compared to this one and the level of fear it insights. Monsters were all the same and shared one thing in common: they stuck to plan and everything they did was for a reason. This monster, of my father, was entirely unpredictable and that made him dangerous.

Dad growled lowly like some animal before walking to the door and leaving, the sound of his GMC truck faded in the distance. It was just Dean and I now.

"What do we do, Dean?" I asked quietly. I should've been crying at something this dramatic, but I'm pretty sure I was passed tears once I turned thirteen.

"That's a good question," he sighed and rested a hand on my shoulder. He sat on one of the beds and I joined him. He thought for a moment, looking over the room," here's what we're gonna do," he began. He told me that we're were going to go to Bobby's place since dad was most likely not coming back for a month and that we would work cases while we stayed there.

Dean drove the impala and I sat passenger, with a velvety blanket Dean had found for me. Since Bobby lived so far away from were our hotel was, we'd have to stop for sleep. It wasn't the first time we had to sleep in the impala, but it would be the most spacious without Sam. Dean drove until the sun went down before he pulled over. A rain storm came out of now where and the sounds of droplets amplified in the impala.

"You know what storms mean in literature?" I quizzed him, breaking the silence.

"Nothing good?" He joked.

"It means change is gonna come," I explained. Dean grew quiet again, molding that over in his brain," Dean, when you get all quiet I get worried."

"It's just...I'm kinda glad Sam's gone," I looked at him in confusion. I thought all he wanted was to keep Sam in the business?

He noticed my stare and explained," he got out...you know? At least this way I won't be worrying about his ass during a hunt."

I snorted," yeah, you'll be worrying about mine."

He smiled at me, noting my tired eyes," get some sleep, Jul, we'll be at Bobby's by noon."

I nodded and crawled into Dean. I got comfortable and sprawled over him and he adjusted to lay down in the seat with me on his chest. He rubbed my blanket-clad-back and I began nodding off.

"Night Dee," I whispered as the rain continued to pelt the car.

"Night Juls," he whispered back before kissing the top of my head.

 _I knew I was dreaming as soon as I had conked out. The setting changed entirely to one of a park. I was sitting on the swing, just mindlessly going back and forth slowly. The happy screams and laughter of the children in the distance filled my senses. I was warm in the sun and my blonde hair blowing effortlessly in the wind in wisps. I suddenly looked up from my spot on the swing to the tree that was adjacent. On the branch sat a black bird...but there was something about it that was off. It was_ watching me _, and very intently at that. I furrowed my brows at it, it seemed to squint back. Without warning the bird started squawking some alert call that I didn't understand. Then a voice began morphing through those squawks calling,"Julie...Julie."_

"Julie!" Dean's voice came and I woke up with a gasp. I looked around frantically," whoa-Calm down-" he grabbed my shoulders to steady me,"you just had a nightmare...you're okay". I took in his efforts to calm me and I took a deep breath, trying to relax.

"We're almost to Bobby's," Dean said as he started the engine and we were off again. I couldn't shake that bird from my mind and those eyes that it possessed.

-Time Skip-

 _Three years later_

"Aww come on baby, don't be like that," I was currently running my hands along some sketchy man who looked and smelled very unclean. I wouldn't be with guy for any reason, so what in the hell was I doing? Easy, while I rubbed my feminine-little-macho all over this pathetic pig, Dean was behind him stealing from his pockets and the jewelry I handed him. Slight of hand. _Never fails_.

"Come home with me and I'll be however you want me to be," He flirted and I inwardly cringed. This man was starting to grope me and that's where both Dean and I drew the line. Dean silently came around to my side and threw an arm over my shoulder with in protective big brother mode.

"Get the fuck away from my sister," Dean growled.

"H-Hey, she was all over me first, man!" The stranger with almost zero teeth shifted blame...he _was_ right.

"Yeah, I bet," Dean rolled his eyes," lets get out of her, sis." Before We walked away the man looked at me with eyes still full of lust. I sneered at him in disgust and we walked away. Just as we hit the door we could hear his soft claims,"has anyone seen my wallet? Or a wedding ring?" Dean and I chuckled as we entered the parking lot and entered the impala.

When I sat down I looked ahead of me. There sat _the blackbird_ with piercing blue eyes. I froze when I saw it, it was watching me as it had before in my dream. Ever since that dream I'd seen it at random times, but it was always near and always _watching_ me. I hadn't told Dean about it, because it was probably nothing, yet I knew that claim was very far fetched. After the sixth time I'd seen it, I concluded this was _no_ coincidence.

"Jul?" Dean asked me, breaking my gaze away from the bird,"you alright?"

I looked back to my brother," y-yeah...just," I looked to where I had seen the bird perched on the fence, but there was nothing there,"thought I saw something."

Dean started the impala without pressing further. I was left to my thoughts and I thought about that bird again. Once more, ever since that dream, I'd seen it in the real world and I couldn't shake this feeling that it was somehow divinely involved. I mean, every hunt I rarely came out with a scratch, sometimes I would happen upon my favorite things that were somehow placed, _conveniently_ , before my feet. I liked to think that there were angels watching over me and this bird was a sign, but that was foolish. Yes, demons were real, but angels seemed like a whole new concept, so I stayed away from that thought.

The moment, however, when I truly began to question my beliefs, was when Lilith casted her hell blast to the room, just after Dean was attacked by a hellhound and damned to hell. Sam, somehow was unscathed just as well as me. Lilith was frightened by our inability to die from that so she ran for it. But there was a moment...just as the blast sounded and met with my body, blinding pure-white-light encompassed me so much so that I momentarily passed out; a familiar deep voice calling, " _Julie...Julie_ ".

-SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN-

 **A/N** : This has to be my favorite chapter yet!


	8. Chapter 8

**Lazarus Rising**

 _Part One_

I pressed the button on the vending machine once more. When nothing happened I tapped a few more buttons until I all out kicked the machine. I huffed and turned a away from it. Looks like I'll just have to go hungry again...maybe tomorrow will hold more in store.

I glanced at my truck in the sunny parking lot when a black speck caught my eye. That damn bird was just sitting there again. Did it seriously just watch me have a one-sided fight with a machine? I flared my hands and shrugged my shoulders silently asking a "what's your deal" stance. The bird gave a small chirp and the machine behind me clicked.

I knew what would happen if I looked at the food and back up-it would be gone. I watched it for a second, did that really have anything to do with the machine deciding to work just then? I threw caution to the wind and said a small "thank you."

Sure enough I'd picked up my chips, looked back and the bird was gone. Something was definitely fishy, but I couldn't complain, I had food for my growling belly. I munched happily and went back inside the motel.

Ever since Dean passed, Sam ran off, it didn't even seem like he wanted his brother back. Unlike him, my bed was covered in lore books, scratch paper, and my laptop. It's been fourth months and Bobby and I have came up with nothing.

I took this moment to sit on the bed and give my surrogate father a call. He picked up in the first ring," Julie?"

"Surprise," I chuckled.

"Girl I've been worried sick about you," his southern draw thick in his words.

I crunched another chip," sorry Bobs, I've been drowning in research. I can't tell you have many witches and hunters I've interview in the last couple months."

"You best hang up and get yourself some rest. If you don't take a break you're gonna work yourself to death, kid," Bobby worried.

"I know, I know," I closed my eyes. I was extremely exhausted and it was noticeable. I actually wanted to go to Bobby's to spend some time with him; he was my home, anyway. "Not only was I calling to check in, but I have a question about something."

I could almost hear Bobby groaning. I knew he'd been trying everything he could to get Dean back as well," and what's that, darlin'?"

"What do you know about blackbirds?" I asked.

He seemed taken aback," well, in literature they're usually omens of evil or death, especially: ravens or crows," he answered nonetheless. Well this bird was no raven or crow, but it was black. A sign of death? It couldn't be.

"Are you sure?" I asked him once more.

"Deadly. Why? You ain't seein' any blackbirds are ya?" He became protective.

"Calm down Bobs, I'm not...I just saw it on one of these articles," I lied.

"Uh huh," he didn't believe me," well you stay safe, alright Juls?".

"Of course, you too Bobby, I'll see you around," I told him and we both hung up. I laid the phone in my lap as I gazed over this mess. I sighed before I went back to searching.

I came out of the bathroom with my hair still damp from the shower. I put the dirty clothes away before painfully glancing at the pile of papers and books on my bed. I just wanted Dean back, was that too much to ask? And it still stung very deep that Sam wasn't as determined. He'd given up and left me alone by myself. I looked to the sliding door window where I saw the blackbird again. Twice in one day?! Anger rose within me. Maybe, if it can magically help me get my chips, it might help my brother.

I opened the sliding door and the bird remained there, unmoving on the back porch banister. Motels rarely had this sort of feature, but looks like this one did.

"What the hell huh? What are you?" I asked it a little angrily. I was surprised by how unfazed it was.

"Or who are you? You know what? I don't know. I've lost my mind haven't I?" I began pacing," I'm talking to a fucking bird. Your a pigment of my imagination aren't you?" I looked back it waiting for an answer. It stayed silent and I began loosing it. I ran my fingers trough my hair," I need fucking help okay? And I'm out of options. Now, I don't know if that was you who helped me get the chips from that-damn-broken-vending machine, but I was wondering if you could help me one last time." It stared at me with a little more intent. I guess it could understand me. "I need my brother," tears started to form at the back of my eyes and my throats burned as I fought it.

"I'm dying here without him," I whispered. Not being able to look at the imaginative bird I cupped my eyes and sobbed a bit into them. I felt I'd truly lost it, I was at my wits end here. All I wanted was my bubby back.

Out of no where the bird began chirping. I looked up to see it," what?"

It started singing some more and hopping around. The song was unlike any other bird I've ever heard. It was almost like music in itself. Was it trying to tell me something? When it saw my continued state of confusion it let out a small chirp before flying off into the night. As it flew, I feel like my hopes went with it. All I had left in me as a desperate attempt to get my brother back one last time. I crossed my arms over myself, finally feeling the cold for the first time.

Tomorrow I would go to Bobby's and stay there.

I cleaned off the bed, brushed my teeth, and laid under the covers. Tears silently fell onto my pillow as I cried myself to sleep.

 _I was watching from the point of view of something as it descended from the clouds, plummeted down to earth, and even further. Whatever I was now, had black wings and could fly at light speed. Somehow before my very eyes, I was faced with my brother, Dean. He wasn't in good shape and for whatever reason I couldn't wake up from this. My brother's torn and damaged body scarred my mind. I watched as Dean's eyes opened to a blinding white essence flowing out of them. A voice rang in my head "Dean Winchester is saved" it was a whisper to me, but clear as day. Suddenly I was given flashes: a trench coat, black feathers, and eyes as blue as the ocean itself. Just as the dream faded into darkness and I achieved a deeper sleep, the faint song of a bird echoed in an eternal tunnel._

-Time skip-

The sound of my phone ringing non stop woke me up. I sat up and pressed it to my ear, greeting a sloppy hello.

"Sorry to wake you darlin' but you need to get up here quick...it's about Dean," said Bobby.

At his words I was wide awake," okay! See you in fifteen!" I threw the phone in my duffle with a squeal. Was it good news? Was it bad news? I rushed out of bed and got ready. Once I grabbed all of my valuables I ran out of the motel to my truck. It was my dad's 1986 GMC Sierra Grande. I took it back when he passed away. Like lightening I hauled ass out of this town and over to Bobby's.

I got to Bobby's and sprinted out of the truck. I went to the door and didn't even bother knocking, he knew I was coming. I crossed the kitchen/ dinning room and into the living room. When I saw my dead brother Dean, who looked very much alive, come around the corner I froze.

"Julie," Dean gave a smile of relief," you have no idea-"

I cut him off," shut up! Who the hell are you?" I pulled out my silver knife and held it to his throat," where's Bobby?" Tears were brimming my eye lids. Since Dean's departure I've had a shapeshifter show up at my door, I was not falling for that shit again.

"I'm Dean! Your brother Dean!" He pleaded. I pressed the knife closer to his throat. I was not in the mode for games.

"Yeah, you're not the first Dean I've met who said that," I let a tear slip. At my words the Dean-look-alike softened and looked at me in sadness.

Just then Bobby came in the room,"whoa! whoa! Whoa! Julie, sweetheart, put the knife down-it's really him." I looked at Bobby hopefully. God I wanted him to be right.

"Here," Dean said softly. I let him reach up and grab my knife while I watched him cut his palm," see? I'm your Dean."

I backed away," then he's possessed Bobby!"

"No, darlin' I did all the tests-its him," Bobby stated. If Bobby was sure, then maybe I could be too.

"Bubby?" I voiced quietly.

He nodded," it's me, princess." He held his arms open and I lunged for him. I wrapped my arms and legs around his front as I clung to him. He rubbed my back while I cried ," shhh...it's okay."

"I...m-missed...you...s-s-so bad," I hiccuped.

Dean looked to Bobby," damn, kid what did you go through?" Dean dropped me gently and wiped my eyes.

"Well, a shapeshifter came to my door wearing your skin...I hope you can imagine how it felt killing my sibling," I sniffled.

"It wasn't me, Juls," Dean soothed. It felt good to hear his voice. I just smiled and went in for another hug and remained with my head in his chest. He pet my hair as Bobby spoke to us.

"Hey, Sam's number's not workin'," Dean stated aloud.

"Well he's alive...as far as I know," Bobby replied and crossed his arms.

"What do you mean 'as far as you know'? Wasn't he with you, Juls?" Dean asked me. I pulled away and looked at him sadly.

I shook my head," I haven't talked to him for months."

"Same here," Bobby agreed.

Dean looked back at me,"wait-so are you telling me that he left you?" Dean was growing angrier.

I shrugged and nodded," it hasn't been easy either..." I looked off into the distance," the things I had to do for money...for food." I recalled those dark memories.

Dean looked absolutely enraged," I'm gonna kill em'." Without warning Dean lifted my shirt to reveal my tummy which was thinner than the last time he'd been around. Then he marched to kitchen and began heating some macaroni and cheese in the microwave. I chuckled at his protectiveness.

"So he just left you both by yourselves?" Dean asked once more. It was kinda hard to believe, we thought Sam at least wanted us around.

"He was dead set on it," Bobby said.

Dean shook his head," Bobby you should've been looking after him."

It was Bobby's turn to get offensive now," I TRIED! These last few months weren't exactly easy for him or Julie, or me-we had to bury you!"

The microwave beeped and Dean rushed the small bowl to me, I took it gladly, having missed breakfast as well," why did you bury me anyway?" Dean asked. Hunters burials were traditionally cremation on a pyre.

Bobby responded," Julie and I wanted you salted and burned...usual drill, but Sam wouldn't have it."

Dean gave a snort," well I'm glad he won that one."

"Me too," I voiced from behind my macaroni, missing Dean's small smile.

Bobby continued," he said you would need a body when he got you back somehow," Bobby raised his hands in surrender," that's all he said," and he pocketed his hands.

Dean squinted at Bobby," what do you mean?"

I answered now, knowing this answer," he was quiet, real quiet. And then he just took off. He wouldn't return our calls-we tried to find him, Dean, but it's like he didn't want to be found."

Dean cursed under his breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, he got me home alright, whatever he did, it is bad mojo," Dean fretted.

"What makes you so sure?" Bobby wondered.

Dean looked a little fearful at how to answer that," you two should've seen the gravesite: it was like a nuke went off, and then there was this...this force, this presence? I don't know, but it blew past me at a Fill-Up joint. Oh! And then there's this," he turned his back and lifted his sleeve revealing a swollen-red-handprint on his shoulder I gasped.

"What in the hell?" Asked Bobby.

Dean shook his head," it was like a demon yanked me out or...rode me out."

"But why?" Bobby asked.

"You think Sam made a deal?" I added to his question.

He shrugged," it's what I woulda I done."


	9. Chapter 9

**Lazarus Rising**

 _Part Two_

 **A/N** : I must apologize, this is over 5,000 words. The next chapter should NOT be near this much.

 **-break-**

I sat with Dean at Bobby's desk as he typed in a few words and then picked out his phone to call the phone company," yeah, hi. I have a cell phone account with you guys, and uh I lost my phone. I was wondering if you could turn on the GPS for me? Yeah. Names Wedge Antilles. Social is 2-4-7-4. Thank you," and Dean hung up the phone.

"How'd you know he'd use that name?" Bobby asked.

Dean snorted," you kidding me? What don't I know about that kid." Dean noticed the abundance of empty liquor bottles then," hey, Bobby? What's with the liquor store? Your parents out of town or somethin'?"

Bobby sighed and spoke softly," as we've said, the last few months ain't been all that easy."

Dean blinked," right."

The flashing light on the computer screen caught my attention," why in the hell would he be there?"

Dean clarified for Bobby," Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois."

"Right were you were planted," Bobby stated.

Dean added," and right where I popped up."

I hummed," hell of a coincidence don't you think?"

 **-break-**

We'd approached the building Sam was supposed to be staying in. It was a Motel called the Astoria...it looked more like a brothel though. We walked up to room 207 and Dean knocked on the door. A small, pretty, brunette answered, looking very confused.

"Where is it?" She questioned.

"Where's what?" I asked confused.

"The pizza? That apparently takes three people to deliver?"

Dean whispered to us," I think we got the wrong room." Just as we were about to turn and leave, Sam came into view. When he spotted Dean he looked like he wanted to hug him, run, or fight him. My brothers eyes flicked between the three of us.

"Heya Sammy," Dean smiled. Sam still said nothing as Dean stepped into the room and that's when Sam lunged for him out of the blue. The action caused the weird brunette girl to scream. Dean skillfully blocked Sam's knife. Bobby and I scrambled at once to pull Sam away from Dean.

Sam struggled," who are you?!"

Dean's brow furrowed," oh, like you didn't do this!"

"Do what?" Sam questioned back.

"It's him," Bobby tried to calm the man down.

"It is Sammy, Bobby and and I've been trough this already, it's really him," I tried my piece. Sam took in my words and relaxed a little more. Sam stared at his older brother with wide eyes still.

Dean smirked and held up his arms," I know I look fantastic, huh?"

Bobby let go of Sam who then went to our brother for a desperate hug. Yes, I get that he was gone for months; he'd hardly helped me get him back, but this was still his brother and he loved him.

The brunette woman speaks up with confusion," so are you two like together?"

I snorted at that.

"Uh no, he's my brother, and she's my sister," Sam answered making eye contact with me. I had had trouble sorting out how I felt about my brother Sam. When he left for college and ditched us like that, it hurt, but then to barely help me get Dean back? He had some apologizing to do.

The pretty brunette excused herself to change and ultimately leave the room. I tried to hide a smile when Sam couldn't even get her name right and he closed the door for good.

We all watched Sam suspiciously as he sat down in the foot of the bed. He _had_ to have been the one to get Dean out of hell.

"So tell me, what'd it cost?" Dean asked.

"The girl?" Sam laughed," I don't pay, Dean."

I rolled my eyes along with Dean," that's not funny, Sam. To bring me back, what did it cost? Was it your soul or was it something worse," the blond interrogated.

Sam took offense," you think I made a deal?"

"That's exactly what we think," Bobby said.

"Well I didn't," Sam retorted quickly. I was starting to believe he actually didn't.

"Don't lie to me," Dean growled.

"I'm not lying!" Sam exclaimed. He looked as if it were true.

Dean grabbed Sam by the front of his shirt," there's no other way this could've gone down. Now, tell the truth!"

Sam broke away and raged," I tried everything! That's the truth! I tried opening the Devil's Gate, hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, alright?" Sam panted," for-for months! And I couldn't stop it, so I'm sorry it wasn't me, alright?" Sam was pleading now," Dean I'm sorry."

Dean softened up and relented," it's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you." Dean and Sam shared a look before Dean's eyes wandered back to me. I'd gone silent this whole time, I wasn't that big of a fan of Sam right now.

"Also, man, you gotta apologize to Julie. She says you just left her by her self. Four months, you left _our_ baby sister alone!" Dean scolded. Sam looked at me in shame," do you know how she was living day to day? She lost a couple pounds, Sam...I can see her ribs!"

Sam looked over to me in shock," Julie...I-I didn't know. I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have just left you."

I sighed," it's okay, I forgive you. I just...need some time." I surprised both him and myself when I hugged him tight to me," okay?"

"Okay," he repeated with a small smile.

A moment of silence went by and we all looked at each other, unsure of where to go next. Bobby spoke up," don't get me wrong, I'm gladdened that Sam's soul is intact, but it does raise a sticky question."

Dean nodded," if he didn't pull me out, and neither of you did, then what _did?_ "

I sat in between Bobby and Dean on the motel couch when Sam came out and gave us all a beer. Sam resumed his spot on the foot of the bed.

"So what have you been up to, Sam? Seeing to it that you weren't the one to dig up Dean," I asked him.

Sam began," well once I figured out I couldn't save you," Sam told Dean," I started hunting down Lilith, trying to get some payback."

"All by yourself?" Bobby accused," who are you, your old man?"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dean's brow quirk as he moved to sit beside his brother.

"Uh yeah, sorry Bobby, I should've called," Sam excused," I was pretty messed up." Seems Dean's death fucked us all up.

I watched Dean pick up a discarded bra between his fingers with a half smile," yeah I...feel your pain." I chuckled at that.

Sam smiled, but rolled his eyes," I was checking these demons out of Tennessee, and out of nowhere they took a hard left, booked up here."

"When?" I asked.

"Yesterday morning," Sam replied.

"When I busted out," Dean pieced together.

Bobby quizzed," you think these demons are here because of you?"

Dean answered," Well, I don't know – some badass demon drags me out and now this? It's gotta be connected somehow."

Bobby added," no demon's letting you loose out of the goodness of their hearts: they've gotta have something nasty planned."

Sam sighed before saying," Okay, look, we don't know what they're planning. We got a pile of questions and no shovel. We need help."

"I know a psychic," Bobby remarked," A few hours from here. Something this _big_ , maybe she's heard the other side talking."

Dean nodded in agreement,"hell yeah, it's worth a shot."

Together, we all stood to leave, but before Dean could make it too far Sam called to him," you're probably gonna want this back." Sam took off Dean's gold head necklace with my bird charm still attached. Dean held it in his hand for a moment as he was touched that Sam had returned it. He muttered a small "thanks".

Dean put the amulet back on as Sam asked his next question with caution," hey...so what was it like?" The answer to this intrigued me as well, we looked to Dean for an answer.

"What, Hell?"I don't know...I-I must've blacked out. I don't remember a damn thing," Dean assured.

My forehead creased," well thank God for that."

Dean nodded with a breathy," yeah."

 **-break-**

We all walked outside to the cars. Bobby informed us of the psychic named Pamela and where she lived. He joked and told us to "try and keep up" with him. Bobby got in his car and waited as we three approached the impala.

"I assume you'll want to drive?" Sam asked and tossed the keys to our older brother. Dean was smiling like a child and paced quickly to the familiar car.

Dean snickered," hey sweetheart did you miss me?"

While Dean was making over his car I hurried my way to the passenger side and Sam met me there first, both of our hands on the door handle.

"Aww come on, Sam!" I whined. I decided to play a card of mine," hey, _you_ left me by myself for three months."

Sam's face fell," you're never going to let me live that down are you?"I shook my head with a hum. He exhaled," fine!" And ventured to the back seat.

Once we were all in the vehicle I noticed a weird little contraption on the dash, Dean noticed it too.

"What the hell is that?" I asked out loud.

Sam looked a little fearful and excited," that's an iPod jack."

"You were supposed to take care of her! Not douche her up!" Dean roared, sharing my thoughts.

"Dean I thought it was my car," said Sam. I saw Dean sneer before turning on the engine with a rumble. A crappy song began playing and Dean and I looked at each other in mutual disgust before he grabbed it and tossed it in the back with Sam.

The night ride to the location was filled with Sam and Dean's chatter about Lilith, and Ruby. All Sam had told Dean was very vague information, but it was still true nonetheless, I supposed. Dean asked about his little brother's "powers" and apparently, Sam wasn't using it.

 **-break-**

Daylight broke when we stood on the front porch of Pamela's house. It was a cute place with a lot of land.

Bobby had knocked and I was surprised when a woman in her thirties answered the door. She was beautiful and had strong muscles that were visible from her tank top. Bottom line: she wasn't what I expected a psychic to look like. The boys and I watched in shock as she greeted Bobby and then lifted him up in a hug before looking us over.

"So, these the boys and gal?" She asked.

Bobby nodded," Sam, Julie, Dean, this is Pamela Barnes; best damn psychic in the state."

Dean flirted a hey, Sam a casual hi, and I a small head nod and sweet smile.

Pamela looked to be and complimented," I love your hair, it's absolutely gorgeous." I gave a bashful thank you. I knew my hair remarked my mothers and that it was a very sunshine-y blonde color. I'd worn it in loose Dutch-braids for the heat of the day.

Pamela looked to Dean now, well, she looked him up and down," mmm-mmm Dean Winchester. Out of frying pan and into the fire, huh? Makes you a rare individual. Come on in."

All four of us joined Pamela in her dining room where a round table sat. She said she just wanted to "peek" at this thing, maybe we could get a clue that way. I helped her get some things ready as Dean flirted with her about the tattoo she had above her ass. Once finished, we sat at the table, I sat between Sam and Bobby. Six tan candles were lit and placed in the center.

"Alright, take each other's hands," she instructed and we did as told," I need to touch something our mystery monster touched."

At first, Pamela ran her hand over Dean's inner thigh, making him jump and knock the table," whoa! Well he didn't touch me there."

Pamela chuckled darkly," my mistake."

Just then Dean took off his plaid over shirt and revealed the hand-print brand on his shoulder. Sam gasped, just now seeing it for the first time. I watched as Pamela place her own hand over it.

"Okay," she started with her eyes closed. I closed my own and listened.

"I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle," nothing happened.

"I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle," suddenly the table started to vibrate. And the tv in the other room flashed on. Fear began to take my heart, but I held strong.

"I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle," a ringing began to fill the room. I don't know if the others had heard it, but the ringing seemed to morph...into a voice... a whisper. It stated it's name and a warning: stop this or face the consequences.

"I invoke, conjure, and command... Castiel? No. Sorry, Castiel, I don't scare easy."

"Castiel?" Dean questioned. Everyone's eyes were open by this point. Everything in the room was shaking like an earthquake was going on.

"It's name," the woman answered," its whispering to me, warning me to turn back." Wait, could the boys not hear the voice that was very hard to miss?

Pamela started chanting a new line,"

I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face."

Suddenly the white noise became more violent, I felt blood drip from my ears and the vibrating was kicked up a notch.

"Maybe we should stop," Bobby worried.

Pamela shook her head in determination," I almost got it. I command you, show me your face!

Show me your face _now_!"

I jumped with a squeal as the candles on the table roared with fire several feet into the air. When Pamela began screaming murderously, I looked to her...her eyes...they were encompassed in a white fire and she flipped over onto the ground. All noise stopped except the cries of Pamela. I rushed to her side along with Dean and Bobby.

"Sam, call 9-1-1!" Bobby ordered and Sam left the room to do so.

The crying woman opened her eyes and I had to surpress a gag. Her eyes were completely burnt out.

"I can't see! I can't see! Oh God!" She wailed in Bobby's arms. Dean, Bobby, and I all looked at each other, unsure of what we just got ourselves into.

 **-break-**

Dean and I had shared a bed for the night and stayed up reading lore. So far, nothing seemed to match what we were dealing with, which was bad news. Somewhere along the way, I fell asleep, my body draped over Dean. From his snores in my ear, I guessed he'd fallen asleep too.

I had no idea how long we'd been out for, but the sudden sound of the radio on blast had us both stirring from slumber. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes as took in the odd situation. The tv had turned on to static by itself too. Remembering the last time that happened, Pamela lost her eyes. I jumped up and held onto Dean. I eyed Sam's bed, but...it was empty.

"Sam's gone," I acknowledged.

"I see that," Dean stated as he continued to survey the room. My brother quickly grabbed a shotgun by the bed and kept me behind him. I could absolutely take care of myself, so I grabbed the handgun Dean had gifted me when I turned sixteen.

Without warning the blaring white noise from Pamela's house pierced our ears. Together we held them and grimaced in pain. Dean looked up as the mirror placed on the ceiling cracked. The windows were vibrating so viciously that they blew out. The entire room was roaring by this point. When the mirror above us showed signs of exploding, Dean pushed me to the ground and shielded me from the blast. I could hear him cry out in pain from glass and hearing loss. When I felt something warm ooze it of my ear, I looked to Dean who also shared that trait.

Through the harsh ringing I began to hear a voice. It was a whisper, but it was clear as day," _go to Sam...find Sam...beware thy brother._ " I had no fucking idea what those words meant at the moment. Just then more glass from the ceiling mirrors broke and we clutched our ears, screaming in pain.

Just then our savior, Bobby, slammed the door open," Julie! Dean!" And helped us scramble up and out of there.

We were in Bobby's car now and he'd graciously given us wraps to wipe our ears of the blood. I was still faintly hearing ringing, but it was tolerable.

"How you doin' kids?" Bobby asked looking in the rear view mirror at me.

I groaned," aside from the church bells ringing in my head, peachy."Did...did you guys hear that voice?" I asked them. I felt like I shouldn't be keeping this to myself.

They both looked at me like I'd grown a third eye," what?" Dean asked.

I became bashful," you know...the male voice...that started whispering during the ringing noise?" I looked back at them praying it wasn't just me. From their silence I gathered that, yes, it had been just me.

Dean continued to stare at me, while Bobby spoke," well what'd it say, girl?"

I closed my eyes and repeated," go to Sam...find Sam...beware thy brother." I reopened my eyes. I took their silence for deep confusion.

"You know, he wasn't in the motel room," Dean shook his head," I'm just gonna call him."

Sam answered.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Dean asked nonchalantly. There was a beat.

"In my car?"

Another beat.

"Well, uh, Bobby's back; we're going to grab a beer," Dean lied. Both Bobby and I moved to ask questions, but Dean held up a silencing finger.

"Done. Catch you later," Dean said and ended the call.

Bobby beat me to it," why the hell didn't you tell him?"

"Because he just tried to stop us," my brother remarked.

"From what?" I now asked.

"From summoning this thing," Dean answered. We both looked at him in shock. Whatever this was was a very bad mofo," it's time we face it head-on."

"You can't be serious!" Bobby exclaimed.

"As a heart attack," Dean smirked," its high noon baby." I groaned and laid back in the chair, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Dean, we don't know what this is, it could be a demon-it could be anything!" I tried to advise against this.

My oldest brother nodded," that's why we have to get ready for anything-" he held up the demon-killing-knife,"-we've got the big-time magic knife, he's got an arsenal in the trunk."

Bobby sighed. He wasn't opposed, just hesitant," this is a bad idea."

"Bobby, whatever this is, whatever it wants, it's after me and for some reason, Julie can hear its voice without having a seizure. This much we know, right? We've got no place to hide. I mean, we can get caught with our pants down again, or we can make a stand."

"We could use Sam on this," Bobby muttered.

"He's better off where he is," I muttered back.

 **-break-**

Bobby led us to a warehouse barn he had been keeping. Inside was adorned with symbols and sigils of many religions, someone them looked absolutely alien. Once inside we got to work in prepping this place for a summoning. I helped spray paint a few sigils with Bobby while Dean stood at a table. We had weapons of every kind laying out. Surely something _had_ to kill it.

I set down the paint canister and spoke," this is a hell of a art project you got going on here."

"Traps, talismans, from every faith in the globe," Bobby said," how you doing, Dean?"

"Stakes, iron, silver, salt, knife. I mean, we're pretty much set to catch and kill anything I've ever heard of," Dean asserted somewhat proudly.

I couldn't settle the unease in my gut as I looked over all of this," this is still a bad idea."

"Yeah, Bobby, I heard you the first ten times. What do you say we ring the dinner bell?" Dean clapped his hands.

Bobby assumed his position and sprinkled some kind of dust into a bowel while chanting some incantation in Latin.

I stood ready with Dean for whatever is to about to pop out. If this is anything like what Pamela had seen, then we're as good as dead. When nothing happened and nothing _continued_ to happen we rested on the table with our feet dangling. Bobby began whistling while I pulled out my sketch book...if I'm gonna die, I wanted to die knowing I was doing something I loved.

I sat by dean with my book and continued filling the page with a man who wore a trench coat. I couldn't see his face in the flash back I had of him, so that's how I drew it.

Dean leaned over," what's with the trench coat?" Dean noted the way the repetitive clothing article was drawn on the pages. _That_ and the many sketches of pitch black feathers.

"I uh...I saw it in a dream, just before you popped up, actually," I confessed.

"And your mentioning it _now?_!" Dean scolded.

I gaped,"well I'm sorry if I forgot to mention a meaningless dream-I'd just found out my brother was alive."

Dean huffed and looked back. He saw the blue eyes I'd drawn and the blackbird I'd drawn on numerous occasions," a blackbird?"

"A _blackbird_?" Bobby voiced," I thought you told me you weren't seein' 'em!"

I smiled sheepishly," I'm sorry...I didn't think it meant anything."

" _Julianna Beth_ , next time shit like this happens you tell us, okay?" Protective Dean kicked in. I nodded and gave a small okay.

A few more minutes went by with nothing.

Dean sighed," are you sure you did the ritual right?"

Bobby seized his whistling to glare at his adopted son.

"Sorry, touchy touchy, huh?" Dean mumbled.

As if on cue, the aluminum roof shingles began to flap violent from a wind that came from no where. We hopped off the tables and stood together, holding ourf weapons ready.

"Wishful thinking," Dean said over the noise," but maybe it's just the wind."

I jumped when the barn doors burst open and lights began to pop and burst, causing sparks to fly everywhere, making it hard to see who's walking in. We aimed our weapons and into view came- a rather, handsome man in...a tan _trench coat_ and familiar _blue eyes._

When the hunters beside me started shooting, I fired my shotgun into his chest as well. When nothing happened, he kept walking,but he wasn't even bleeding. My heart rate picked up. When he was close enough Dean stabbed him with the demon blade...again nothing seemed to kill him.

"Who are you?" Dean asked, voice failing him.

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," the thing answered. His voice was like velvet to my ears. What probably intrigued me most about him, was the fact that he had two, large bird wings protruding from his back.

"Yeah, thanks for that," Dean snarked, in response the being looked a little pleased. I ducked out of the way when Bobby swung at him with a crowbar.

Dean pushed me behind him as we watched this creature tap two finger to Bobby's head and he fell over unconscious. Oh God I hoped he was alive.

Dean and I looked at the angel in fear. He had us right where he wanted us...we were powerless to stop him.

"Dean..."I whispered," Dean it's got wings."

"What? No it doesn't!" He whisper yelled back.

"We need to talk Dean, alone," the winged being voiced. He looked at me and started to come at me, but Dean held me closer behind him.

"No. You want to talk? Fine. But my sister stays," Dean negotiated.

"As you wish," the being looked at me with a look I couldn't read. Those eyes held me frozen...they were the same ones I'd seen in my sleep and why couldn't Dean see those wings that were right in front of him?

Dean took this moment to go to Bobby and check his pulse. I prayed he was okay and not dead...if he was dead I don't know what I'd do... he was basically our father.

"Your friend is alive," said the winged man. I watched him as he flipped through my drawing journal which I did not give him permission to do.

"C-could you not go through my drawings?" I asked weakly. When he paused his observing to look at me, I added a weaker," _please_?" He instantly set it down and went about looking over the table of weapons.

"Who are you?" Dean asked as he came back to stand next to me.

"Castiel," he answered.

Dean rolled his eyes, "eye I figured that much, I mean _what_ are you?"

"I'm an Angel of the Lord."

"Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing!" Dean exclaimed, obviously he wasn't a believer.

"Dean, I don't know...look at his wings," I whsipered to him.

"What wings, Julie?!" He whisper yelled back. We looked up and Castiel was in front of us.

"This is your problem Dean, you have no faith," Castiel flatly said. A sudden flash of lightening lit the room and Castiel opened his wings wide. I watched in awe and from Dean's mirrored look, I supposed he saw them too.

Lightening stopped and the "angel" tucked his wings back into place. My brother spoke after a moment of shocked silence," some angel you are! You burned out that poor woman's eyes!"

Castiel looked sad at that, I felt myself wanting to do something, but I barely knew this being. I stayed rooted to my place.

Castiel excused," I warned her not to spy on my true form...it can be...overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice, but you already knew that." I recalled the piercing white noise and winced.

"You mean the gas station and the motel? That was you _talking_?!" Dean asked.

The angel nodded.

"Buddy, next time lower the volume," Dean scolded. I din't really know what to say or do so I tried to blend into the background, silently.

"That was my mistake," he apologized," certain people, _special people_ , can perceive my true visage I thought you would be one of them...I was wrong," Castiel stated, but then he looked to me and gestured," but her on the other hand..."

I blinked,"m-m-me?"

He nodded,"You could hear my voice and can see my wings can you not?" It was my turn to nod,"to put it simply, you have those abilities becuase our souls are fated."

My stomach dropped," what?" I'd hoped I heard that wrong,"wait-are you also that little blackbird that's been giving me shit for the last couple months?"

He seemed a little stunned," I will explain in time, but no, the blackbird was not me...he was more..."he searched for the words," my eyes and ears."

Dean's voice boomed," you've been watching my sister?" I could've sworn I saw the angel's eyes grow wider," so what 'visage' are you in now? Some holy tax accountant?"

Castiel looked down at his body and adjusted the flaps of his trench coat,"this? Oh this is...a vessel," Castiel shrugged.

"you're possessing some poor bastard?" Dean wondered. This day just couldn't get any worse could it.

Castiel almost smiled," he was a devout man, he actually prayed for this."

My brother rolled his eyes for the tenth time tonight," well I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?"

And angel frowned," I told you."

"Right. And why would an angel rescue _me_ , from Hell?"

"Good things do happen, Dean," Castiel wisely spoke.

My brother shook his head," not in my experience."

Castiel was close to my brother face now, tilting his head in a very...adorable way. I blinked back that thought I just had. He is not cute. _He is dangerous_ ," what's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved."

Dean didn't answer that," why'd you do it?"

the angel stepped away, straightened his back and held his chin high," because God commanded it. Because we have work for you."

I gasped at his words, praying that if I woke up tomorrow, this would all be a funny dream.


	10. Chapter 10

**Are You There God? It's Me Dean Winchester**

 _Part one_

Sam and I sat at the dinning table as we listened to Dean who was arguing with us about religion and faith. Bobby sat at his desk with a book in front of him. Ever since the warehouse barn we've all been on edge, angels were a whole new ball park.

"Well then tell me what else it could be," Sam ordered of Dean.

"Look, all I know is: I was not _groped_ by an angel," Dean spoke unhappily.

"Erm..he did have wings," I added.

"Not helping, Julie!" Dean shot my way. I held up my hands in surrender.

Sam interjected before I could argue,"Okay, look, Dean. Why do you think this 'Castiel' would lie to you about it?"

"Maybe he's some kind of demon, demons lie." My oldest brother theorized. He had a point, but I couldn't shake the vibe I got from Castiel. To me, he sorta screamed angel.

Sam's voice rose," a demon who's immune to salt rounds, and devil's traps?...and Ruby's knife? Dean _Lilith_ is scared of that thing!"

Dean continued," Don't you think that if angels were real, that some hunter, somewhere, would have seen one... at some point... _ever?_ "

I spoke up now," yeah. You just did, Dean."

He rolled his eyes in response," I'm trying to come up with a theory here, you two, could you just work with me?"

"We _have_ a theory," Sam and I chorused at the Sam time.

Dean snorted," yeah, one with a little less fairy dust in it, please." Dean leaned against the counter-top.

Sam tried once more,"Okay, look. I'm not saying we know for sure. I'm just saying that I think we -"

Of course, Dean cut in,"Okay, okay. That's the point. We don't know for sure, so I'm not gonna believe that this thing is a freaking Angel of the Lord because it says so!" Dean yelled making me flinch.

Just then Bobby decided to step in," you three chuckleheads want to keep arguing religion, or do you want to come take a look at this?" I quickly got up and went over to Bobby's desk, leaving the boys in my dust. I hated shouting and arguments.

" I got stacks of lore - Biblical, pre-Biblical," Bobby started," Some of it's in damn cuneiform. It all says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit." My eyes blinked in shock, this was our answer. It had to be a legit angel.

"What else?" Dean wanted more. He crossed his arms, unhappy now.

Bobby's forehead creased," what else, what?"

"What else could do it?"

"Airlift your ass out of the hot box? As far as I can tell, nothing."

Sam smiled a bit," Dean this is good news!"

"How?" Dean was throughly unconvinced.

"Because for once, this isn't just another round of demon crap," Sam explained.

I added my piece," maybe you were saved by one of the good guys, you know?"

Dean nodded in agreement and looked in thought before adding," Okay. Say it's true. Say there are angels. Then what? There's a _God?_ " Dean bit his lip in anticipation.

"At this point, Vegas money's on 'yeah'," Bobby answered.

"Plus, I don't really think you could believe in one without believing in the other," I spoke," natural balance...right? Good and evil?"

Dean rolled his eyes," I love you, Juls, I do, but this isn't some disturbance in the force-Yoda can't help us." Making me gape at him.

" I know you're not all choirboy about this stuff, Dean, but this is becoming less and less about faith and more and more about proof," Sam rationalized. I sighed and sat back a bit on Bobby's desk, were going to be here for a while.

"Proof?" Wondered my older brother.

"Yes."

"Proof that there's a God out there that actually gives a crap about me _personally_? I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it," Dean doubted.

"And why not?" I quizzed, with my arms crossed. I was getting annoyed with Dean. I'd accepted the fact a long time ago that there are just some things I will never understand and shouldn't question. It just is the way it is.

"Because why _me_?" Dean asked. My heart broke for him, he always equated himself to the dirt under people's shoes. One day I'm going to need to have a talk with him about that," If there is a God out there, why would he give a crap about me?" I rested a reassuring hand on his arm, he looked at me softly. _He matters to me._

"Dean-" Sam was cut off by the blond man.

"I mean, I've saved some people, okay? I figured that made up for the stealing and the ditching chicks. But why do I deserve to get saved? I'm just a regular guy."

Sam shrugged," apparently your a regular guy who's important to the man upstairs."

Dean looked at him in thought," well that creeps me out."

"I know you don't even like being singled out at birthday parties, Dean, but I think this is God saying 'strap on your party hat'," I said.

Dean went quiet and looked to Bobby and sighed," fine. What do we know about angels?"

At his words Bobby picked up a stack of fat books and dropped them on the desk, all of us looked at the pile in disdain," start reading," said Bobby.

Dean swallowed hard and pointed an accusing finger at Sam," your gonna get me some pie," before grabbing the smallest of the fat books and walking off. Sam nodded at his request.

I grabbed two books and requested my own end of this deal," I'll take a can of peaches please," and kissed him sweetly on the cheek," you forget it and I'll be pissed." I sweetly informed him and walked to the dining room to read.

 **-break-**

Sometime later, Bobby's voice pulled out of my half-sleep reading. This content was some of the dryest shit I've ever read.

"A hunter friend of mine isn't answering her cell, which is unusual for her. I think we need to look into it," Bobby informed Dean and I.

Dean nodded, just as they were about to walk out the sound of the impala met our ears.

"Juls, you comin'?" Asked Bobby.

I shook my head," not this time. Someone's gotta read up on this angel stuff," shrugged. He said his goodbye and Dean placed a kiss on my forehead.

Before the boys left, Dean rushed back in, I thought he forgot something, but he placed the can of peaches down before me with a silver fork. I smiled up at him.

"He forgot my pie," he mumbled grumpily.

I gasped at that," what? Sam _never_ forgets your pie!"

"That's what I said!" Dean huffed and exited the room for good. I giggled lightly as it used my knife to pry the lid open. When it finally came to I hummed at the sweet peach aroma. I used the cutlery to fork a few in my mouth before resuming my reading.

After a good hour of finding nothing I looked up for a five minute break. My eyes were getting tired from seeing all that dry material. When my eyes met the chair in front of me I jumped. I spotted that familiar small blackbird. How the fuck did it even get in?!

"Spying of me again?" I asked, and it tilted its head. I recalled what Castiel had said about the bird being his "eyes and ears". Maybe he could help...he was an angel...right?

"Listen, I'm a little in over my head here, my brothers are at their wits end, and I'm in the middle of it. Think you can help me out?" I wondered quietly.

The bird gave a small chirp and suddenly the book in front of me was turning pages. When it stopped I looked down to read the title.

"Revelations," I stated I looked up to see no bird in sight," dammit! You could stick around sometimes, you know?" I spoke to no one. I turned my attention back down to the book. _What did revaluations have to do with this?_

I wasn't able to finish the first paragraph when Bobby busted through the door making me jump. He looked paler than he was before he left.

"Bobby? What's going on?" I asked, a feeling grew in the pit of my stomach.

"Bad things, Juls," he stated before quickly walking to his desk and getting his shot gun ready.

I stood up," what kind of bad things?"

"Hunters have been falling dead by ghosts," he informed.

Okay, that's nothing we couldn't handle," _and?_ "

He looked up at me," they're being killed by people they couldn't save- _their_ ghosts."

My mouth made an 'o' then. I busied myself helping Bobby and making a salt line and filling my shot gun with salt rounds," lemme guess, we're next?"

He nodded curtly," probably sooner than later."

Just then the laughter of little girls filled the room. I looked around trying to pinpoint its source, but couldn't see it. Two girl ghosts, who looked like twins, appeared before Bobby. Just as they appeared they zapped off with him.

"Bobby?" I called out. I heard nothing and my heart dropped.

I called Dean. He picked up first ring," Julie?" Asked my brother in a rush.

"Dean, they got Bobby. I-I don't know where he went, but they zapped away with him."

"Okay, hang tight Jul, we are pulling in...now," Dean hung up and he and Sam both came through the door hollering for Bobby. They came to me and we caught up about all of this for a split second before resuming.

I went with Sam outside. The walk through the automobile yard was oddly silent while we walked with our guns raised.

"Bobby?" I called softly. Sam repeated my action.

Together we walked in the hot sun. I looked up at squinted into the rear view mirror of a car. I gasped and nudged Sam," Sam, it's Bobby!" I pointed to where the reflection came from.

Sam went into action. He called out for Bobby while climbing cars that were piled on top of each other. Using a crowbar, he pried the door open and little girl pushed him to the ground, hovering over him.

"Sam!" I called and swung my iron fire-poker and the ghost girl disappeared. The other twin ghost was watching the entire thing and she didn't look happy, she looked ready to pounce. However, before she could, Bobby sprung up and she disappeared into dust from his own crowbar.

We all regrouped in the living room, at Bobby's desk, all of us reloading and prepping.

"So they're all people we know?" I asked, looking up, hair clinging to my sweaty neck.

Dean replied,"Not just know. People we couldn't save," he added,"Hey, I saw something on Meg. Did she have a tattoo when she was alive?"

"I don't think so," said Sam.

Dean's brow furrowed and he pointed to the small of his hand,"It was like a-a mark on her hand - almost like a brand."

Sam informs us that he's seen the same mark on Henrikson. Henrikson...that name rings a very memorable bell. My brunet brother grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and began sketching the mark. He showed it to Dean and Dean approved that, yes that was exactly what he'd seen. After showing dean, let let Bobby have the drawing.

"I may have seen this before," Bobby stated. He looked to us," come on we've gotta move."

I was ready to follow, but confused," okay, where are we going?" The ghosts would only follow us until we were dead.

Bobby looked at me with a scrutinizing gaze," some place safe, ya idjit." _What the hell did that mean?_

I watched Bobby pick up some books before he led us through the basement door. For whatever reason, Bobby always threatened us to never go down here, so, naturally, we never did. Bobby led us to a large iron door before twisting a heavy nozzle and holding it open for us. I was the first in line and the room looked very dark, but there was a ceiling fan at the top with a pentagram which let some light in.

I went in and was followed by Dean and then Sam. Bobby came in last and switched on the lights. My brothers and I were all in shock at this...iron barricaded room. I mean there was everything in here! Guns, specials knives, some spellwork books, a desk, canned food boxes. Bobby had this thing the entire time?! I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

Sam noted the walls,"Bobby this is..."

"Solid iron. Completely coated in iron, 100% ghost-proof," Bobby said proudly.

I smiled," you built a panic room?"

He shrugged," I had a weekend off."

"Bobby," Dean called our surrogate father's attention to him. My brother held a very nice and expensive gun in his hand,"you're awesome." Then Dean spotted the swimsuit model poster across the way, eyes filling with a twinge of lust," _oh."_

I rested my head against Dean's shoulder, he was currently jamming salt into the bullet, I was inspecting them if they needed any more or less, then passed them to Sam who used a compressor to mold the salt to the bullet.

Dean looked up all of the sudden in thought," see this is why I can't get behind God."

"What to mean?" I asked. I really wished I _hadn't_ asked because the two boys started to get into faith and religion some more. _Bad shit happens to good people, that's just how it is._ I found myself feeling Dean's side of the argument more: _if there is a God, then why let his creation be torn apart like this?_ Had he left us? The thought of being Godless shrouded my heart in fear...I had no idea I cared this much, to be honest.

"Found it!" Bobby's voice chimed against the walls. We all looked at him.

"What?" Asked Sam.

Bobby rolled his eyes," the symbol you saw-er-the brand on the ghosts."

"Yeah?" Pried Sam, wanting more.

"Mark of the Witnesses," Bobby looked sincere... _this isn't a good thing is it?_

"Witnesses? Witnesses to what?" I asked from my chair. Both of my brothers stood next to Bobby, glancing at the picture he had before him.

Bobby answered with," The unnatural. None of them died what you'd call 'ordinary deaths'. See, these ghosts - they were forced to rise. They woke up in agony. They were like rabid dogs. It ain't their fault; _someone_ rose them... on purpose."

"Well who?" Dean ignorantly asked.

Bobby held his hands up," do I look like I know? But whoever it was, used a spell so powerful it left a mark, a brand on their souls. Whoever did this had big plans. It's called "the Rising of the Witnesses." It figures into an ancient prophecy."

My brain started to turn metaphorical gears while I remembered the paragraph I was reading earlier," whoa-wait-what book is that prophecy from?"

Bobby sighed, not wanting to say the answer, and I didn't really want to find out,"Well, the widely distributed version's just for tourists, you know. But long story short - Revelations," when he said that word I looked off, away from them. Revelations. That was what the blackbird flipped the page to,"This is a sign, guys and gal."

All three of us asked in unison," a sign of what?" We blinked at each other.

Bobby hesitated," the apocalypse." My stomach jumped in my throat and I hung my head in my hands.


	11. Chapter 11

**Are You There God? It's Me, Dean Winchester**

 _Part two_

" _Apocalypse_?," dean started in disbelief,"like the apocalypse, apocalypse? The four horseman, Pestilence, five-dollar-a-gallon gas apocalypse?"

Bobby nodded," that's the one. The Rise of the Witnesses is a...uh-mile marker."

"Okay, so what do we do now?" Sam asked. _Stop the apocalypse? With just us? Is that was Sam is getting at?_

Dean scoffed,"road trip," he started walking back to his seat beside me, and sat down," Grand Canyon, Star Trek experience, bunny ranch," he listed.

I added one," I want to go to the zoo."

Dean point and made emphasis," and Julie wants to go to the zoo."

"Well first things first," Bobby stopped the fun," how 'bout we survive our friends out there."

My oldest brother nodded," great. Any ideas aside from staying in this room until judgement day."

Thankfully Bobby nodded, he'd found a way,"It's a spell-"he indicates to the paper with a pencil he has,"-to send the witnesses back to rest. Should work."

"Should?" I worried," great."

"If I translate it correctly. I think I got everything we need here at the house," Bobby assured. _Lovely, that means we had to leave the safety of the panic room._

Dean joked," any chance we got everything we need right here in this room?"

Bobby sasses back," so you thought our luck was gonna start _now_ all of the sudden? Spells got to be cast over an open fire."

It clicked for Sam then," the fireplace in the library."

"Bingo," Bobby noted.

The next few moments were spent preparing to leave the panic rooms safety. We loaded our weapons with the salt rounds we made and held iron pokers or crowbars if we had any extras lying around.

We exited the giant safe and walked out slowly, guns raised. So far no sign of ghosts until...we got to the steps leading to the living room/ library. Sitting on the stairs was Ronald... _poor Ronald_. He'd passed away while "trying" to help us with a shapeshifter case. We'd safely made it passed him and into the living room.

I took the liberty of pouring a salt circle around Bobby's desk. When I finished Bobby asked of me," Julie, up stairs-linen closet-red hexbox, it'll be heavy."

I nodded to him," got it."

I held the sawed-off shot gun close as I found the closet and opened the doors. There were loads of pillows in here. _How many did Bobby need?_ Just as my eyes made contact with the bright red hexbox, a male voice to my right caught my attention and I jumped.

"Hey, Julie," said the voice of my dead ex. I'd been lucky enough not to run into someone who I couldn't save, seems now was my moment.

My ex was a burly man with black hair and dark brown eyes to match. My hunting life had seeped into his own and ultimately killed him. I felt awful for it, don't get me wrong, but Jones wasn't the nicest boyfriend. Last time I recalled: drunk beatings with a side of emotional abuse weren't healthy.

I froze as he approached me. Those eyes locked me in place like they always did," _Jones_ ," I warned," you stay away from me." I pointed my gun at him.

"That's cute, Julie, you think you can kill me...oh wait-you did," his face dropped impossibly more.

"I didn't mean for my work to come to you," I tried weakly.

He chuckled," yeah...I find that hard to believe," his face contorted in anger,"do you have any idea how bad I want to crush your pretty little skull in, Julie? Huh? You deserve it, you know? You deserved _everything_ I gave you, every punishment because you never made enough time for me."

I closed my eyes and repeated in my head,' _you're a ghost, you're a ghost. Someone rose you. It's not your fault_."

"And now you've got an angel on your shoulder," he whispered and I peeked at him," oh yeah, everyone heard all about Castiel finding his little bitch-mate." For some reason rage started to fill my vision," I hope he beats you too." That was it. I fired my shot gun and he dusted away to nothing. Making haste I scooped up the heavy box and ran downstairs, coming into the kitchen where Dean was running into trouble.

I drew my gun while I watched Henrikson pierce a hand though my brother's chest, grabbing his heart. My brother struggled. Without a second thought I shot Henrikson away. My brother fell to the floor.

"You okay, bub?" I asked holding out a hand.

He took a breather," no," before taking my hand. He grabbed his own items and we set them on Bobby's desk.

We reloaded, and two ghosts popped up, but we took care of them. I heard Bobby start chanting words in Latin and the wind started to pick up-not a good sign. Just as predicted, the salt line broke with the wind.

"It's about to get worse isn't it?" I whined Sam who stood to my left. He nodded sadly.

Out of nowhere Meg appeared and Sam shot her immediately. Bobby continued to recite the spell, Ronald appeared, Dean wasted him. Jones appeared and Dean also took the liberty of ganking him muttering a 'never liked that guy'. Left and right ghosts just kept popping up, I couldn't keep up almost, but I never missed my shot, I aimed and I fired with 100% accuracy. When my trigger ticked my heart sank. I was out of salt round ammo.

I dropped the gun and went for a fire poker. It seems Dean was in the same boat as me when Henrikson used the force to blow Dean's sawed-off away. He used another poker to beat the ghost away. I was too occupied with what was going on around me, that I hadn't noticed Meg disarm me and throw me against the wall. I groaned in pain and even more so when she slammed a desk to me, keeping me trapped there. I tried with everything in me to push it away but it wouldn't give. I heard my brothers call to me.

I looked up and felt my blood run cold. Jones was looking me in the eyes from atop the bookcase/desk. He held up a hand as he began pounding it into my face.

The force at which he clocked me almost made me black out- _like old times._

"You piece of trash! I don't know why anyone would want you!" He belittled. Another good punch and my lip busted.

Out of no where he disappeared and I looked to see my hero, Dean, he didn't look happy about my beat-down, but here were bigger things happening that caught our attention, for example: Bobby's heart was being held by Meg, heart still in his chest of course. He held the bowel of ingredients above his head, he dropped it in pain and I watched helplessly as it fell.

Shock and relief filled me when Dean caught the bowel, Bobby instructed weakly to throw it in the fire. Dean did. A blinding blue light encompassed the room and the ghosts screamed whilst disappearing forever. I slumped over needing a minute, as did the others.

I lifted my upper half back up and tried to wiggle free, but I couldn't and I spotted Sam," Sammy, little help?"

He came over and pushed the dresser away. Catching me from not falling too far from where I was elevated off the ground. I just knew I was going to have some gnarly bruises.

We all regroup and establish that we're all okay, a little banged up perhaps, but okay. We were alive.

I held my throbbing side, when Dean came to me and gave me a hug," Jones?"

I nodded not really wanting to talk about it," he was a toxic human being."

Dean nodded," that's for damn sure," he used a soft thumb to inspect my lip and led me to the kitchen to get ice.

 **-break-**

The boys thought it'd be best if we all slept in one room, just in case something happened, we'd have someone there to help. Sam took the couch and Dean and I took the floor-which was doing nothing for my aching body.

Dean was facing my back as we slept. The sound of wings flapping pulled me from sleep, along with a feeling in my gut. I looked up to see Dean also awake and seeing the same thing I was: Castiel was in the kitchen _watching us_.

I whispered a groan of pain as I got up with Dean and limped to him. The angel watched my movements with...was that concern I saw?

He blinked it away and coughed softly, digressing. Bobby's house was silent as sleep took my other brother and my other father upstairs.

"Excellent job with the witnesses," Castiel praised. I knitted my brows, as did Dean.

"Wait, you were made hip to all this?" He asked. I grinned softly, "hip" was my word and I'd finally rubbed off of my brother.

The angel looked to the floor, his wings twitching," I was uh...made _aware._ "

Dean silently fumed,"Well, thanks a lot for the angelic assistance! You know, I almost got my heart ripped out of my chest," he pointed to his heart.

"But you didn't," I tried to be a voice of reason here.

My brother elected not to hear me," I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings-" I cut him off.

"W-well he does have those," I noted, missing the faint smirk on Castiel's lips.

"Not helping, Julie," dean continued,"halos - you know, Michael Landon. Not _dicks_."

"Read the Bible. Angels are warriors of God. I'm a soldier," Castiel informed. Well that made me picture all the angel stuff differently.

Dean huffed softly," yeah? Then why didn't you fight?"

The angel squinted at my brother, his wings seem to squirm a bit in, what I picked up as,anger," I'm not here to perch on your shoulder, Dean. We had larger concerns."

I rubbed my hand over my still throbbing sides. Since the incident pretty purple and blue bruises appeared making nebulas on my skin.

When I saw two fingers come toward my face I tried to doge them, until the angel's fingers tapped my forehead and a warm sensation enveloped my skin making little tingles. I looked to Dean and he pointed out that my lip was now, as good as new. I lifted my shirt and my bruises were gone as well," thanks," I politely told him. He gave a tiny, quick, yet awkward nod.

"Right, you just perch on her's, some 'fated-soul-crap, right?," Dean used a thumb to point at me," and concerns? There were people getting torn to shreds down here!" Dean had to repress his anger with everything in him. He added more to this," And, by the way, while all this is going on, where the hell is your boss, huh, if there is a God?"

"There is a God," Castiel curtly said- not giving away anything.

"Thank _God_ ," I mumbled looking out the window to the night, feeling relief. _Well we aren't godless._

"Well, I'm not convinced," my brother smarted, I swear his mouth was going to be the death of him some day," 'Cause if there's a God, what the hell is he waiting for, huh? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The freaking apocalypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards that are stuck down here?" Dean tried to keep his anger quiet. I check Sam and he was still sleeping like a champ.

I was surprised when Castiel tried to say," the lord works in-" Dean stopped him.

"If you say 'in myserteous ways', so help me I will kick your ass," my brother threatened. Silence fell and we shifted weights on our feet.

I asked my own question now," So, Bobby was right... about the witnesses. This is some kind of a... sign of the apocalypse?"

Castiel nodded," that's why we're here-big things afoot. "

"Do we want to know what kinds of things?" I wondered. Personally, I was a little intrigued, but a greater part of me didn't want to know what _angel's_ looked after.

"I sincerely doubt it, but you need to know," he flatly answered," the Rising of the Witnesses is one of the sixty-six seals."

"Okay, I'm guessing that not a show at sea world," Dean joked.

Castiel's voice was serious," those seals are being broken by Lilith."

I pieced it together," she did the spell, she rose the Witnesses."

"Mmm-hmm," Castiel hummed," and not just here, twenty other hunters are dead." I closed my eyes at that. More people we couldn't save.

"Makes sense," I said.

Dean added,"Of course: she picked victims that the hunters couldn't save so that they would barrel right after us."

Castiel shrugged a bit," Lilith has a certain sense of humor."

"Well we put those spirits back to rest," I assured, it's got to count for something.

"It doesn't matter now, the seal was broken," Castiel had no filter did he?

"Why break it anyway?" I asked innocently.

The angel thought for a moment," you think of the seals as a lock on a door."

Dean nodded," okay, last one opens _and?_ "

Castiel stood and walked a bit closer to us. Dean used a hand to hold me to him," Lucifer walks free."

I blinked. Did I just hear that correctly? I looked to Dean and he looked back in equal confusion. _Okay, well I wasn't going crazy._

"Lucifer? But I thought Lucifer was just a story they told at demon Sunday school. There's no such thing," Dean tried.

"Three days ago you thought there was no such thing as me," the angel stated and he was right. I glanced at his wings once more, they were almost iridescent in the light. _Angels. How the fuck did we wind up with angels?_ The winged man continued,"Why do you think we're here walking among you now for the first time in 2,000 years?" He questioned.

"To stop Lucifer," both Dean and I mumbled. Castiel nodded and said that's why they've arrived.

"Well... bang-up job so far. Stellar work with the witnesses. That's nice," my brother patronized. I nudged him, sometimes he didn't know when to stop.

Castiel's expression turned very annoyed and angry,"We tried. And there are other battles, other seals. Some we'll win, some we'll lose. This one we lost. Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week," he was up in our personal space now. I felt Dean attempt to move me behind him, but I stayed put," You think the armies of Heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here. You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you _back in_ ," he threatened. Goosebumps chilled my skin at his warning.

The angel gave me one last look before disappearing completely.

I blinked and suddenly I was back on the bed on the floor and staring at the ceiling. I looked to Dean who was just as put out. _All of that was seriously a fucking dream? Like I said, angel's were a whole new ball park_.

Sam came in then and placed a steaming mug of tea in my hands. I greedily accepted it. Dean was still spacing out over there.

Sam noticed," you guys alright? What's wrong?"

I let Dean have this one," So... You got no problem believing in... God and Angels?" He asked.

Sam shook his head," no not really."

Dean continued,"So, I guess that means that you believe in the Devil?"

Sam looked at him with knitted brows at a question like that," why are you asking me all this?"

Dean and I shared a knowing look. We couldn't just keep this to ourselves-this was bigger than us. We needed to inform Sam about what we've just been told.


	12. Chapter 12

**In the Beginning and Metamorphosis**

 _part one_

I was passed out on the couch after a very taxing hunt, but what dragged me from my deep slumber were voices within the room, trying to be quiet and failing.

"What do you want?" Asked Dean who sounded rather angry," don't look at her! You get your freak on by watching other people sleep?"

I stirred and looked up, what I saw had the sleep dissipating from my eyes easily,"umm what's Cas doing here?" Dean gave Castiel a glare at that. Castiel was kind of a mouthful so I saw no harm in reducing it to just 'Cas'.

The angel's wings gave a twitched before his attention went back to my brother," listen to me, you _have_ to stop it."

"Stop what?" Dean looked highly skeptical. I stayed seated on the couch, not sure what to do. Regardless, before I could do anything Castiel placed two fingers on Dean's forehead and Dean was gone. I gasped.

"Where'd you send him?" I worried. I didn't know how I felt about being stuck with just Castiel.

"Back in time," he answered and looked at me. That was a very vague answer.

My eye brows knitted and I held my arms out," back in time to when?"

"1973"

I thought about that for a second, then my eyes went wide," that was before..."

"Before you,Sam, and Dean were born. I've sent him to stop the demon from going into Sam's nursery," Castiel explained.

I ran a hand through my hair and wiped my face with my hands, removing an sleep I once had. The room went silent and an awkward tension filled the room. It was quiet for some time, the both of us just in deep thought until I asked," I guess the world would be better off if we were never born, right?" Softly.

Castiel seemed to slouch a bit in the moonlight," it would be less..." he thought of the right word," _conflicting_." I nodded.

Now seemed as good a time as any to ask a question that'd been on my mind," so...fated souls?"

He looked attentively at me at the mention of our souls. I was surprised when he lightly chuckled and gave a tiny half-smile," it's very complicated, but I will answer any question you have, if I can answer it."

I nodded, seemed fair," okay, first off: what does it _mean_?"

Castiel stood by the other bed," when I was first created, which was beyond the years of the creation of earth, God enlisted within every angel a significant other- _only one_. This other person shared a portion of our soul and are...destined to be together."

I swallowed," you mean like...romantically 'together'?". Don't get me wrong, Castiel had a very good looking vessel, but I didn't know if I could be with him like that yet; I didn't even know if I should be _trusting_ him right now.

He shook his head,"oh no, we are anything our soulmate needs us to be: a sibling, a friend, parental figure, and...romantic if that's what's needed." _Well that was a relief._

I nodded, trying to understand all of this, which I was trying not to freak out too hard. _So my soul was shared with Castiel...he would be anything I needed him to be just for me to be happy? I hope I'm taking this the right way._

"I can see your wings, because I share a part of your soul?" I guessed.

He nodded, albeit shyly," an angels' wings are the most vulnerable thing we possess."

Without thinking I said,"well I think they're beautiful." I definitely wasn't expecting that to come out of my mouth...I shifted my eyes to the floor, missing the angel's face flush red.

"Thank you, Julie," he gently spoke. Something about the way he said my name caused goosebumps to rise on my flesh.

Just when I was about to ask more, Castiel popped away, leaving me alone. I sighed and relaxed into the back of the couch. _This was a weird morning._ The flutter of wings reoccurred and Castiel was back.

I looked at him for answers.

"Dean needed to speed this up," he informed.

"If I'm never born, you'll be soulmate-less, won't you?" I was genuinely looking forward to his answer. _He wouldn't gain anything of my death would he?_

He nodded looking disheartened," like I said, angel's only get one, and most of the time we can't _even_ find them. It could take centuries to find our mate, new eras, or new worlds," Castiel met my eyes and I tried to suppress a gasp at the emotion he was holding there," I don't _want_ to do this...angels are not supposed to _want_ ," he added that last bit slowly.

My mouth made an 'o'. I found myself wanting to comfort him. This soulmate stuff was some pretty serious shit. If I died everything he'd been waiting for would just be gone...if I'm his only "one" then vise versa right? Already I can feel some connection to him since the warehouse barn and I didn't know if I wanted to get rid of it yet.

I watched Castiel look off into the distance looking sullen.

"What?" I wondered a little worried.

"Dean couldn't stop it," he simply said before I blinked and he was gone. I sighed and then when I looked back up Dean was on the bed and out of breath.

Dean sat up," I couldn't stop any of it. She still made the deal. She still died in the nursery, didn't she?" _Wait, mom made a demon deal?_

Castiel hadn't met my brothers eyes," don't be too hard on yourself, you couldn't have stopped it."

Dean stood up and met glares with Cas," what?"

"Destiny can't be changed, Dean. All roads lead to the same destination," Castiel remarked.

I scoffed," then why'd you send him back?"

"For the truth," Cas started," know he knows everything we know."

Dean was fuming," what the hell are you taking about?"

Cas didn't answer just looked at the perfectly made bed beside Dean's. _Where the fuck was Sam?_

"Where's Sam?" Dean asserted the lack of a brother.

Castiel spoke again, flatly," We know what Azazel did to your brother. What we don't know is why – what his endgame is. He went to great lengths to cover that up."

That was information that we had no use for Dean only asked where our brother is," where the hell is Sam?" I asked. _I'm his soulmate-thingy maybe I could use it to get answers or something if needed._

Easily the angel answered," 425 Waterman."

Dean stood up, grabbed the keys and my hand before rushing to the leave. I looked back to find the angel already watching me. That connection I felt with him was urging me to stay with him.

The angel made an announce before we fully got out the door," You brother is headed down a dangerous road, Dean, and we're not sure where it leads. So stop it. Or _we will_." I gasped at him, _Sam was my brother! Did he not care about that? But then again, isn't he just following orders? What happens to him if he disobeys?_ Dean pulled me out and into the Impala, his foot slamming the accelerator.

 **-break-**

We were nearing the place Sam was supposed to be inside. I wasn't sure I was ready to talk with him yet, he'd lied to us. One things for sure though: I am not happy at all with him.

Dean led the way and opened the door. Sam was standing there like a deer in headlights. A stranger who looked out of it was draped around his arm and the familiar dark-haired girl from the Astoria, stood behind Sam, carefully watching us.

Dean was a very scary calm...like dad always was,"so...is there anything you want to tell us, Sam?"

Sam stuttered," Dean, just h-hold on okay, just l-let me-" Dean cut him off.

"You gonna say, "let me explain"? You're gonna explain _this_? How about this? Why don't you start with who she is, and what the hell is she doing here?" Dean interrogated. It was a bit harsh on Sam, but both Dean and I are too upset with Sam too care.

Sam looks to the girl who is very calm for all of this then speaks up, "it's good to see you again, Dean and Julie."

Wait a minute that voice tone sounded familiar," _Ruby_?" I wondered. She smiled and looks up at Sam," Sam, is that Ruby?" My voice rose.

A silence was shared between us, someone was going to snap and it could be any of us. Ruby's smile faded from the look Dean gave her. In a flash Dean lunged at her and slammed her against a wall, demon knife at her throat.

Sam's sudden hand clapped my oldest brother's shoulder," don't!"

I watched as my brothers now struggled for the knife. I tried to jump in and pull them apart, but it was no use. Dean had the experience and now trapped Sam to the wall. I tried to hold Ruby, but she elbowed my stomach and rushed to save Sam. Before I knew it, Dean was trapped by Ruby and the knife.

"Ruby, stop it!" Sam demanded and she did, letting her hand fall from his throat.

"Well your and obedient little bitch, aren't you?" I glared at her. Now she looks as if she wants to fight me- _let her_.

"Ruby," Sam warned. The demon blinked and went to pick up the strange man who was injured.

She started to walk out with him, but Dean interjected," where the hell do you think you're going?"

She dean panned," the ER...unless you wanna go another round first." Dean kept quiet and he left for good.

Now that she was gone it was just us. Both Dean and I were very unhappy with Sam right now and settled for glaring at him. Dean huffed, grabbed my hand and walked us out the door we came in. _Looks like Sam didn't need us._

"Dean," Sam called," Julie! Guys!" But we were gone. The ride to the motel was deathly quiet and I tried blinking back tears. My trust in Sam had shot back to zero, it stung that he had lied to us like this.

"What are we gonna do, Dean?" I asked quietly from the passenger seat.

"Seems like Sam is perfectly fine without us. He's got: psychic abilities and Ruby, he'll be _fine_ ," he answered not even looking at me. I hadn't seen him this mad in a long time. I didn't want to leave Sam, but he made it plain that he didn't want us around.

We pulled up to the motel and hopped out. Dean told me to get my stuff packed, we are leaving. The second we stepped inside Sam tried to get up and speak to us, neither of us looking him in the eye as we packed our bags.

"What are you guys doing?" Sam asked.

We both ignored him and carried on our leaving.

Sam observed us," what? Are you...are you leaving?"

Dean stuffed some shirts in the bag and zipped it up," you don't need Julie, or me. You and Ruby go fight demons."

We turned for the door but Sam stood in the way, well...then we just went around.

"H-hold on guys...come on!" Sam stuttered and struggled to get our attention.

What I wasn't prepared for was Dean turning around and clocking him in the face, making Sam's lip bust. I gasped at him, that was uncalled for.

"You satisfied?," Sam held his chin.

My oldest brother threw another punch. I reacted this time," Dean stop!"

"Stay out of this, Juls," Dean addressed me then turned to our brother with a deadly glare," do you have any idea just how far off the reservations you've gone? How far from _normal_? How far from _human_?"

"I'm just exorcising demons!" Sam excused, but that isn't enough.

"With your mind!" Dean yelled making me flinch away. His voice went a little more calm but much more deadly," what else can you do?"

Sam came clean," I can send them back to hell-it only works with demons- and that's it!"

Dean didn't look so convinced" what else can you do?!" He grabbed him and pushed with a lot of force.

"Boys if you could stop fighting, and sit down I'm sure-" I was cut off by Sam.

"-I told you!"

"And I have every reason in the world to believe that," Dean fumed. He shook his head in anger before coming back to me, taking my hand forcfully and walking to the door.

Sam's voice stopped our actions," look, I should've said something."

We both looked back at him.

"I'm sorry, Dean, I am, but try to see the other side here," Sam pleaded.

"The other side?" I snapped.

"I'm pulling demons out of innocent people!" He tried to persuade me, but I'm not having it.

"Use the god damn knife!" I countered. Dean rested a hand on my back.

The middle Winchester continued on," The knife kills the victim! What I do, most of them survive! Look, I've saved more people in the last five months than we save in a year." Sam made a tempting case.

Dean countered with,"That what Ruby wants you to think? Huh? Kind of like the way she tricked you into using your powers?"

Sam looked at us hopelessly, tears began to fill his eyes and I had to fight my own. Dean voiced again," slippery slope brother. Just wait and see. Because it's gonna get darker and darker, and God knows where it ends."

"I'm not gonna let it go too far," my other brother tried again.

I watched Dean's reaction for this one, knowing this wasn't gonna be good. He walked with frustration and angrily swiped a lamp and other decorations onto the floor. I gasped and stepped back, narrowly missing a small vase. He was angry. _Very angry._

"It's already gone too far, Sam," he looked at Sam with somewhat sadness," if I didn't know you..." he paused," I'd wanna _hunt_ you."

"Dean, that's not fair!" I tried, most likely being ignored again. I look at Sam and see the tears that are trying so hard not to fall.

"You want fair? How about other hunters that would want to hunt him down too, if they knew what he was?" Dean reiterated. _How in the hell was that any more fair? That would be a living hell for Sam_. I shook my head and gaped at him, there was obviously no getting through to him and I stood back, I was done with their fighting.

"You were gone. I was here. I had to keep on fighting without you. And what I'm doing... It works," once again, Sam plead his case, every excuse that went by he seemed to break a little more.

Dean put his hands on his hips," Well, tell me. If it's so terrific... then why'd you lie about it to me? To _Julie_?" Dean used a finger to pint at me.

Sam blinked and looked down at the floor. A tear slipped from my eye: _did he not trust us? What was so wrong about his siblings that he felt he couldn't share this with them?_ I couldn't take it anymore and I walked out, getting in the passenger seat of the impala. As I sat there waiting for my brother to come out, quiet tears cascaded my cheeks, my sniffles filling the empty vehicle.

Another good ten minutes went by when both Sam and Dean came out of the motel together and hopped in the car, Dean driving and Sam in the back.

"I don't mean to start anything, but what's _Sam_ doing with us? Aren't we leaving?" I asked with a croaky voice.

"We were," Dean started flatly, not happy about this either,"but a case came up, you remember our buddy Travis?"

I recalled the name in my head and a hint of a smile appeared on my lips," not thee Travis who'd buy-me-ice-cream-after-hunts Travis?"

"That's him," Dean nodded. I noticed Sam's silence in the back seat, but didn't acknowledge it," case is at a location called Carthage, Missouri."

I nodded, maybe a case would ease all of our minds and we could think rationally about Sam's adventures with Ruby. I wiped my eyes of any tears and rested my head against the window. We had a drive ahead of us to get to Missouri so I let the rumble of Baby lullaby me into sleep.

The sky was lit with stars and I'd awoken sometime in the last hour and decided to ask Dean about where Cas had sent him. Sam was listening from the back seat, probably still afraid to say anything.

"I can't believe it," I breathed," mom? A hunter?"

Dean nodded as he drove," I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't seen it myself. That woman could kick some ass. I mean, she almost took _me_ down."

I chuckled lightly at that," how'd she look?" I wondered. My memories of her were very little, I know that I missed her," I mean...was she happy?"

My brother gave a small smile at that," yeah she was awesome. Funny. Smart; she was hopeful." I smiled, at peace with that answer. Dean looked over at me then returned his attention to the road," dad too until of course..."

We heard Sam sigh from the back," what?"

"Nothing," Sam mumbled. A moment went by prompting asks to give us more," it's just: our parents. And now we find out our grandparents too? Our whole family murdered and for what? So Yellow Eyes could get in my nursery and bleed in my mouth?"

Dean and I looked at each other, sharing a glance. We never spoke with Sam about that.

"Sam I never said anything about demon blood," he looked at our brother in the rear view mirror.

Sam looked down with a guilty expression," you knew about that?!" I observed him.

He nodded," for about a year." I groaned and scrunched my nose. I thought we were past the lying. Obviously not.

Dean hummed," a _whole_ year?" His voice a little sing-songy. _Yeah and he didn't even think to tell us._

"I should've told you. I'm sorry," Sam apologized.

"You've been saying that a lot lately, Sam," Dean said," but whatever-you don't want to tell us-it's fine." It's most definitely not 'fine'.

Sam sighed and mutter something I couldn't hear. Maybe one day we'll stop fighting and be a big happy family...

 **-break-**

The case, as of right now, was to find a man by the name of Jack Montgomery. Travis is an old friend of our father's and looked after us a couple time when dad or Bobby couldn't. Old Travis said there was something peculiar about this man along with the fact that he was flying under the radar.

We pulled up outside his house and watched, with binoculars, the windows and followed Jack as he went about his day. If anyone were to find us we'd be easily arrested for trespassing.

After a good two hours, this Jack Montgomery did absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

"Are we sure this is the guy?" I asked anyone.

"Only Jack Montgomery in town," Sam concluded, making me sigh. There wasn't a case here, maybe we could go back to the motel and relax for once.

"And we're looking for..."Dean trailed off.

Sam shrugged," Travis just said to keep and eye out for anything weird." We all groaned or sighed and went back to observing. When Jack started eating fist fulls of raw meat I tore the binoculars away from my face.

My expression contorted in shock," well I'd say that definitely qualifies as weird."

"Uh yeah," Dean agreed and then turned the keys in Baby. The plan was to go to the motel room, call Travis from there and tell him if our 'weird' find, but we opened the door and there was Travis. Sitting at our small dining table and drinking our beer.

Dean leaned over to my other brother," see, Sam? Told ya we should've hid the beer." His words were loud enough for Travis to hear, making him chuckle and stand up to greet us.

"Smartass. Get over here," his rough voice instructed. He held his arms out for a hugs and I relented he pulled back and used both hands to lay my hair in curtains down my front. He looked me over and I did the same. He'd aged since we last saw him.

"My my, you're a beautiful young woman, Julie, your daddy would be proud," he noted. I didn't miss the pride in his eye.

"Thank you, Travis, and look at you!" I laughed," you haven't aged a day," I lie politely.

"You're just saying that to get some more ice cream, ain't ya?" His brows lifted.

I gave a nervous chuckle," _maybe_."

He patted my shoulder before turning to the boys and giving them hugs as well, commenting on Dean's muscle and Sam's height, before looking us over as a whole.

"Sam you still...a...what's is it? A mathelete?" Travis wondered with a smile.

Sam scoffed a little and shifted his weight," no."

"Ha!" I rested a hand on his shoulder," I swear he is so funny sometimes-of course he's still a mathelete." I smiled innocently.

"Been too long, boys and gal. I mean, look at you. Grown men and woman," he stated proudly," John would have been damn proud of you. Sticking together like this."

Travis' words bring back the last argument. It seems that we are not at all close as we were when we were younger. Things have changed.

Dean picked up on the same idea,"yeah, we're as thick as thieves," he looked at Sam knowingly. I watched Sam's smile die. Dean continued his silent scolding," 'nothing more important than family."

I nudged Dean sharply with my elbow, this shit needs to be cut out now. Travis nodded and walked off to a table, I gave my oldest brother a death glare and he paled, making a b-line for the dinner table with Travis, Sam followed behind him and I sat criss-cross on the bed.

"Thanks for helping out an old man. I'm a little, uh, shorthanded," he gestured to his right hand which was laid up in a white caste. I wondered what happened to it. We all shared a chimed chuckle at his words.

"So you track down Jack Montgomery?" He asked. The conversation slipped into Jacks odd behavior such as eating uncooked hamburger.

"Boys and girl, we got a rougarou on our hands," Travis stated liking over all of us. _A what?_ I hadn't heard of that before and my siblings and I share a look.

"A r-rougarou?" Dean asked softly wondering if he'd heard correctly.

"Is that made up?" I asked," that sounds made up," I decided.

Travis nodded with a hum,"They're mean, nasty little suckers. Rotted teeth, wormy skin, the works."

I blinked," well that can't be this guy-yeah he ate a hamburger he forgot to cook, but he had a cellphone on his belt," I addressed. What if we got this wrong? Not every hunt or case we came across turned out to be anything supernatural.

The older man before us tilted his head a bit and lowered his eyes to the floor boastingly,"He'll turn ugly soon enough. They start out human, for all intents and purposes," he was positive he was a monster.

"So what? They go through some kind of...metamorphosis?" I guessed. So these things had to change to go full dark side.

"Yep like a maggot turning into a blow fly," Travis agreed. I scrunched my nose in disgust.

"They're hungry," Travis claimed while using a hand to fold up his plaid sleeves.

"For what?" I was laying on my stomach now, tired from the drive and the stake out. Sam came to sit beside me on the side of the bed.

"Well at first everything, but then...long pig," he explained.

" _Long pig_?" Dean sat beside Travis trying to set up a flame blower, not understanding the term I had groaned at.

"He means human flesh," Sam cleared.

Dean nodded with a smile and a laugh," well, _that_ is my word of the day."

Travis went on to explain that if a rougarou gives into their hunger and takes a chomp of human flesh, they can't go back to normal...and most give into temptation. However, I couldn't shake a theory I had with with Sam and he went researching with it in mind: if a rougarou never ate... _long pig_ , then they wouldn't have to completely change.

I was happy when Sam relaid that information with Travis, Dean seemed so too, but when Travis started acting like killing this thing is the only option I felt very uncomfortable. It almost seemed like Travis _wanted_ to kill it, as if Jack's already predisposed to be a monster. _No one wants to become a monster._

I assured Travis and Dean with the fire blowers," so fire?" I cautiously asked.

"Only way I found to kill these bastards: deep-fry-'em," pursed the hunter elder.

I slowly nodded, not wanting to do this, we had another option,"well that's gonna be...horrible. Is that what you did to Jack's dad?" I made eye contact with Dean who silently wondering where I was going with this. Low and behold, it was Travis who ended Jack's father.

 **-break-**

It was daylight out as Dean drove to Jack's house. Sam had taken his seat on the passenger side this time, that's okay, I could stretch out in the back. My mind was relaying rougarou information and then it shifted to the angel we'd been seeing.

Castiel. He was a riddle and half, but I couldn't deny some deep rooted feeling I had for him. It was so hard to explain, but just being beside him brought me peace, his voice was an encho in my mind, and his wings were just screaming to be petted. I blushed when I found myself actually looking forward to seeing him again. Just then the small smile on my lips died when I heard Sam asked Dean to pull the car over.

I didn't know what had just taken place, but both of my brothers were pissed.


	13. Chapter 13

**In the Beginning and Metamorphosis**

 _part two_

Before the car even completely stopped, Sam was opening the door and stepping out. I started at him in shock, he slammed the door and Dean followed suit. _Well I might as well step out too._

This area was very pretty. There were trees surrounding us, making me think there's a camping area nearby.

"You know why I've been lying to you Dean?" Sam shouted coming around the car," because of crap like this!"

He passed Dean and placed his hand son his hips. I stood between them watching this go down.

"Like what?" Dean asked angrily.

Rage flowed in Sam's eyes," the way you talk to me, the way you look at me like I'm a _freak_!"

"Sam you're not a freak, Dean, I think you need to get off his ass, " I tried to rationalize.

"I do not," Dean shook his head," and I'll get off his ass when he stops using fucking powers to gank demons".

"You know or even, worse, like I'm an idiot," Sam still needed to get some stuff off his chest. He walked up to Dean getting in his face, I came closer trying to pull Sam away,"like I don't know the difference between right and wrong!"

Sam stepped away from him, turning his back and looking at the landscape for a second. When Dean didn't say anything he turned to look at him, making Dean look down.

"What?" Sam asked upset. This fight was between the two of them and I had no place to go.

"Well _do_ you know the difference, Sam? I mean, you've been kind of strolling a dark road lately," Dean sounded angry now. _Great_ , I thought, _Dean was beginning to doubt our brother._

Sam twitched,"You have no idea what I'm going through. None," he growled. My heart rate began to pick up, someone was going to get hurt if these two didn't stop soon.

"Then enlighten me!" Dean roared making me flinch.

"Dean, calm down!" I spat, of course he didn't though, he didn't even look my way.

"I've got demon blood in me, Dean! This disease pumping through my veins, and I can't _ever_ rip it out or scrub it clean!" Sam nearly cried. I felt tears form once again in my eyes," I'm a whole new level of freak! And I'm just trying to take this - this _curse_... and make something good out of it. Because I _have_ to!" Sam panted.

They both took a moment and stared at each other not knowing what to say next.

"What about you, Julie? Where do you stand on this?" Sam asked, his hands on his hips.

I took offense to his question, as if I could pick between my only family," I am standing. right. _here_. Don't you dare ask me to pick between you two-I can't do that, but what I can do is be the voice of goddamn reason, okay?"

I looked between them, both of their gazes softening," now, Sam, I think sending demons back to hell is pretty freaking cool, but you should stop until this angel thing blows over. Dean," I looked to him," yes Sam lied to us, but he saved people. How in the hell can we argue with that?"

Both my my brothers looked to the ground taking my words to heart. After a minute of silence Dean suggested we go talk to Jack, maybe tell him about what's happening to him-give him a choice and chance to no fully change. We agreed and headed out.

The talk with Jack seems to go well until we started talking about his father and how "someone" aka Travis stopped him from hurting more people. Jack told us to leave pretty soon after that.

So we were on a stake out once more, watching from the Impala as Jack stalked a girl in her bedroom. We'd run to her room and bust the door open. Jack had left and we busted in on that poor girl for no reason.

Travis wasn't picking up his cell and he also wasn't back at the motel room. That left only one place he could be: Jack's house.

The night ended with a hunt success, but not without loss. Jack had taken a bite out of Travis, which killed him, and Jack ultimately turned full rougarou. He went up in a burst of flames that night and I ended up with a bump of my head from unconsciousness.

Sam and Dean talk back and forth up front whilst I laid my aching head down in the back seat, mindlessly listening to them.

"Sam I wanna tell you I'm sorry, I've been kinda hard on you lately," Dean apologized.

"Gee ya, think?" I mumbled but I saw Dean's eyes watching me in the rear view mirror- he'd heard me.

"Don't worry about it, Dean," Sam sighed, defeated from the hunt.

Dean added,"It's just that your, uh, your psychic thing, it scares the crap out of me." My oldest brother was never one for admitting feelings, even mundane ones as feeling scared.

Sam shook his head,"Look, if it's all the same... I'd really rather not talk about it. There's nothing more I can say. I can't keep explaining myself to you. I can't make you understand." He was right. What could he do now that he hasn't already told us?

"Why don't you try?" I asked softly.

"I can't. Because this thing, this _blood_ , it's not in you guys the way it's in me. It's just something I got to deal with," Sam looked out the dark window.

After a moment of silence Sam piped up,"Anyway, it doesn't matter. These powers... it's playing with fire. I'm done with them."

Dean looked over at him and my brows quirked.

"I'm done with everything," Sam stated with a huff.

"Really?" Asked I.

Sam just continued to look out his window.

Dean sighed and visibly relaxed," well that's a relief. Thank you." Sam goes on to tell us that he's not doing it for us, or our parents, or for the angles. This was his choice and he had to own it.

 _Now if we could just hold him to it..._


	14. Chapter 14

**Yellow Fever**

 _part one_

I stood between by brothers as the Coroner opened the body bag.

"Agent Smith, Agent Tyler, and Agent Perry, meet Frank O' Brien," introduced the coroner. The man on the table was still as a statue in death.

"He died of a heart attack, correct?" I took control of the questions.

He nodded," three days ago."

I hummed sounding skeptical," but O'Brien was forty-four years old, and according to this-" I looked at my clip board"-a marathon runner."

The coroner's eyebrows lifted,"Everybody drops dead sooner or later. It's why I got job security."

Dean asked his own question,"Yeah, but Frank kicked it here. Now, just yesterday, two perfectly healthy men bit it in Maumee. All heart attacks, you don't think that's strange?"

The man shrugged," sounds like Maumee's problem to me. Whys the FBI give a damn anyway?"

We all ignored his question," we just want to see the results from Frank's autopsy," Dean stated.

The old coroner blinked," what autopsy?"

Great. I sighed and the three of look at each other," the one you're gonna do," I told him.

He went about getting his tools together and preparing to cut the corpse open. He handed us some scrubs and told us to put them on over our clothes.

When all was finished we watched him start cutting the chest cavity open. If I was anyone else I'd like to think I faint at the sight of blood, but after so many hunts I'm desensitized.

"First dead body?" The coroner asks looking at your, mostly, indifferent expressions.

"Far from," Dean voiced.

The older man snickered," good because these suckers can get pretty ripe. Hey, hand me those rib cutters would you?" He asked specifically to Dean.

I heard Sam take a mortified breath then Dean grabbed the cutters and handed them to the man giving the autopsy. I tried to refrain a smile and a giggle: Sam was squirmy and Dean looked very uncomfortable. _Was I and the coroner the only one with guts here?_

Dean and Sam pointed out little things they noticed on Frank's arm: a wedding ring skin coloration and scabs littered his arms. The corner made it very plain that he could not identify them because it wasn't his department... _fair enough_.

"Huh," the elder said,"I can't find any blockages in any of the major arteries." Suddenly a pop came from the chest and the coroner pulled out the heart, inspecting it.

Sam and I tried not to laugh as Dean looked like he was a bout to be sick.

"Heart looks pretty damn healthy," he continued his inspection," here, hold that a second would you?" He placed the bloody heart in Dean's gloved hands. Dean looks very uncomfortable and I have to control my breathing . _Don't break character, don't break character._

When the coroner snipped something else, something cold and liquid-y splashed on both my face and Sam's.

"Oop, sorry-spleen juice," the Coroner chuckled to himself. It was Dean's turn to smirk now. Sam handed me a napkin and we wiped off our faces...of _spleen juice_.

 **-break-**

We all sat in the lobby, in front of the deputy's desk, waiting in the sheriff to speak with us. I was flipping through a magazine when I looked up and saw the deputy smile at Dean.

I smiled widely and nudged my brother.

"What?" He looks me up and down, internally knowing what I was insinuating.

"Oh you know exactly what!" I whisper yelled back," get his number!" I gasped," do you want me to get it for you? 'Cause I will."

Fear flashed in his eyes," um-no," he blushed red," Julie, don't-" dean was interrupted when the sheriff stepped out of his office.

"-hell's bells Linus, have you seen my..." he saw us sitting there," who are they?" We all stood and walked towards him.

The deputy stuttered," f-federal agents, I uh..."

"And you kept them waiting?" The sheriff asked bewildered.

"You said not to disturb," Linus, the deputy, tried weakly. I looked at Dean who shifted a bit. _Guess he doesn't want to see his flirt getting yelled at._

The sheriff told us to come on back and we did... but he had us take our shoes off at the door. Odd. But his germaphobe-ness didn't end at the door, when he sat down from shaking our hands, he piled hand sanitizer in his palm.

 _That's alright...some people are like that_ , I thought, _I wonder if all that sanitizer has dried his skin to hell yet._

"Okay, so what can I do for Uncle Sam?" He asked us.

That my cue to fill him in on our whereabouts," Well, we're looking into the death of Frank O'Brien. We understand some of your men found his body."

He nodded albeit sadly,"They did. Me and Frank, we were friends," the sheriff looked off longingly to his trophy collection on the wall," Hell, we were _gamecocks_."

I nibbled my lip between my teeth at that funny word. I looked over at Dean who had laughed out right then straightened his face back to serious and abashed.

"That's our softball team's name," the man clarified, and Dean nodded," They're majestic animals. I knew Frank since high school. To be honest, I, just this morning, got up the strength to go see him. Frank was...He was a good man," he recalled sadly.

"Yeah," my oldest brother agreed," big heart." Sam and I stared him down. What was his deal today? We wasn't acting like himself.

When asked how Frank seemed before he died, the sheriff said he was jumpy-like he was scared almost. When he sent his men out, they found him dead. Before we left he dumped another heaping pile of hand gel on his hands. We left quickly after that.

 **-break-**

We walked down the street to where baby sat on the curb. Sam was loosening his tie a bit.

I snickered," _no way_ this was a heart attack, boys."

Sam hummed,"Definitely no way. Three victims, all with those same red scratches. All went from jittery to terrified to dead within 48 hours."

We grew closer to where the car was parked and Dean spoke up," something scared them to death?"

"Alright, so what can do that?" Sam asked.

I scoffed," What can't? Ghosts, vampires, chupacabra? It could be a hundred things." Sam suggested we make a list and cross it off as we obtain information.

We stopped walking, almost to Baby, to talk.

"Okay, then who was the last person to see Frank O'Brien alive?" I wondered.

Sam answered without missing a beat," his neighbor: Mark Hutchins." We nodded. I took off my over coat, this sun was blazing today.

I felt eyes on me and looked to a bunch of teen boys who eyed me. Dean saw the exchange, snatched my hand and walked the other way muttering a," I don't like the looks of those teenagers down there." They were just kids though, they couldn't hurt me, and certainly not with my brothers around. Why go a different route?

"Lets walk this way," Dean demanded while dragging me along. I looked back to Sam who shared my 'what the fuck' look.

 **-break-**

Mark Hutchins is a...reptile owner to say the least. Sam was the one asking the questions here because I was too busy looking at all the critters, while Dean...looked very shifty and uncomfortable again. Maybe it just wasn't his day.

"Tyler Perry just like Aerosmith, and your the Smith in Aerosmith," Mark noted happily.

I smiled politely at him when he recognized my fake name-it was all Dean's idea," yep, small world, huh?" I looked back to the juvenile crocodile he kept in a tank at the back.

Sam took over questions then and I resumed my internal-animal-geek-gushing.

Dean saw a bearded dragon and faced forward, swallowing hard. I gave him a soft nudge. Was he...scared? He relaxed a little at my touch and I looked at the fish tank behind us. There were some gold fish, tetras, guppies-a mother fucking Pacu fish! This dude had almost everything. What captured my attention now as the snake around his neck.

They'd been talking about Frank's wife who died twenty years ago when Mark noticed Dean looking fearfully at the snake. He's never been this scared...I started growing concerned.

Mark waved him off when he noticed my brother," oh don't be scared of Donny. He's a sweetheart." He suddenly gestured behind us," it's Marry you've got to look out for-she smells _fear_."

I hesitantly looked behind me. I gasped and slid closer to Sam who chuckled. There was a huge ass Burmese python slithering down the front of the couch and onto Dean-who looked like he was about to cry.

I held my excitement in as best I could and reached out to feel the snake's smooth scales while she moved. The albino's scales are oddly soft, but there are very powerful muscles under there that I can feel.

"Sam, I want a snake," I whispered discreetly.

He leaned back and hushed a," hell no." I pouted.

 **-break-**

I sat in the back, Dean up front while we waited for Sam to get back. I was mindlessly doodling in my sketch book again.

The most current fascination of my mind had been Castiel. I can't scrub the chiseled face from my memory or the onyx wings in the moonlight. I did, however draw one ' _normal_ ' thing: Dean. Since that time, a very long time ago, I'd drawn Dean in a fairy costume. I was older now and more skilled in drawing so I remade it and showed it to Dean who jumped.

"Whoa, bub, I didn't mean to scare you. What's gotten into you?" I asked.

"Nothing. I'm fine," he evaded his true feelings once more. I left it alone and offered the drawing to him.

He took it and smiled at it remembering the crappy drawing I made when I first drew it," what do you think?" Dean was the one who encouraged me to continue drawing in the first place. Now here the outcome was: I'd drawn a very lifelike Dean in a fairy costume.

"I think it's damn near perfect," he praised and handed it back to me," maybe I could pull that outfit off." I giggled at him. He always says my drawings are "damn near perfect". That's when Sam's decided to hop in the passenger seat.

He asked dean if he'd found anything at the county clerk's office.

"Well I'm not sure I'd call it luck: Frank's wife, Jessie, was a manic-depressive. She went off her meds back in '88 and vanished," he held up the old news article he was reading," They found her two weeks later, three towns over. Strung up in her motel room, suicide."

"Any chance Frank helped her along to the other side?" Sam asked.

Dean shook his head and started the car after saying," No, Frank was working the swing shift when she disappeared. Airtight alibi."

We'd been driving for ten minutes when I noticed something...we were going slow...too slow for Dean's driving. This wasn't right. I sat up more and peered at the speed gage on the dash.

"Uh, Dee? You know you're going twenty right?" I asked cautiously.

He nodded," _and_?"

I blinked and gasped with Sam; my other other brother sharing my thoughts," that's the speed limit."

"What?" Dean became offensive," safety's a crime now?"

Dean just missed the turn for our hotel," what the hell, Dean?! That was our hotel back there!"

"Juls, I'm not gonna make a left-hand turn into oncoming traffic. I'm not suicidal," he laughed nervously. _Okay, something was up with him_. He hasn't been himself all day he's been...for lack of a better word, jumpy. Dean gave us all a confused look after that," did I just say that? That was kind of weird."

Out of no where I started to hear a beeping sound. After a minute of hearing it I confessed," okay, please tell me I'm not the only one hearing that"

"Yeah...I hear it too," Sam quietly agreed and took his hand to his jacket and pulled out the EMF he started waving it around and found that it lit up around Dean.

Dean's mouth frowned and his eyes went wide," am I haunted?! He looked to us while still driving," am I haunted?!"


	15. Chapter 15

**Yellow Fever**

 _part two_

 **A/N** : I jave left some details out for purposes of the story, but I think it turned out okay. The song in this is _Hold You in My Arms_ by Ray Lamontagne.

 **-break-**

Oh god...when was Sam coming back? I watched Dean from outside the hotel and the car as he laid down in the front seat and jammed out to Eye of the Tiger. When I spotted Sam I gave him a 'please help me' look. He came over right away.

The music was on full blast so Sam had to slap the top of Baby to get his attention. Dean spotted our brother, sat up, and turned off the music. Sam handed me a box of donuts and I took two, stacking them on my pointer finger before handing the box to Dean.

My mouth dropped when he tossed the box into the Impala like it was trash," dudes look at this," he pointed to some scratches or scrapes on his under arm. _Not a good sign._

I munched on my donuts and listen while Sam speaks," well I spoke with Bobby."

"And?" the freckle boy asked anxiously.

Sam cocked his head," well it's not good."

"What is it?" I wondered.

"It's ghost sickness." I started blankly at Sam, that sounded made up.

"Ghost sickness?" Dean sneered.

"Yeah,"

"Oh God no," dean sighed and rested against baby as if this were life threatening news.

"Uh huh...," I voiced squinting at Dean.

Dean blinked at Sam, having a moment of rationality," I don't even know what that is."

We listened to Sam intently as he explained,"Okay. Some cultures believe that certain spirits can infect the living with a disease, which is why they stopped displaying bodies in houses and started taking them off to funeral homes."

We nodded in understanding," okay get to the good stuff," we chorused simultaneously.

Sam put his hands in his pockets,"Symptoms are: you get anxious..."

"Yeah," Dean understood.

Sam explained further, making the cogs and gears turn in my brain,"Then scared, then really scared, then your heart gives out. Sound familiar?"

"He's basically going to be scared to death," I inquired lowly.

Sam nodded and gave a curt, "yeah."

"Yeah, but Sam, we haven't seen a ghost in weeks," Dean had a point.

Sam went on to further explain that too,"Well, I doubt you caught it from a ghost. Look, once a spirit infects that first person, Ghost sickness can spread like any sickness through a cough, a handshake, whatever. It's like the flu. Now, Frank O'Brien was the first to die, which means he was probably the first infected. Patient zero."

"Ohhh this is like Contagion if it had more monsters and paranormal themes," I established for myself and Dean.

Sam agreed,"Right. Get this, Frank was in Maumee over the weekend. Softball tournament. Which is where he must have infected the other two victims."

"Were they _gamecocks_?" Dean joked and I snorted.

"Cornjerkers," my brunet brother made known.

Dean took a moment to ground himself.

"Why aren't we affected?" I wondered. We've been around Dean and patient zero, we should have it too.

Sam but his bottom lip and sheepishly replied," Yeah, um, you see Bobby and I have a theory about that too. Turns out all three victims shared a certain, uh, personality type. Frank was a bully. The other two victims, one was a vice principal, the other was a bouncer...basically they were all dicks."

I couldn't hide my smile at Dean's distraught face," are you saying I'm a dick?"

Sam shook his head quickly, making his brown tresses bounce," No, no, no. It's not just that. All three victims used fear as a weapon, and now this disease is just returning the favor."

"I don't scare people," Dean pouted. I felt bad for him, I mean it was just not his day today, and I didn't want him to die in fear-that's not the way _Dean Winchester_ should die.

"Dean all we do is scare people," I sighed. And leaned against him, my head on his shoulder.

"Okay, well then you're both dicks too," Dean wrapped a warm arm around my back.

"Apparently we're not," Sam countered.

"I think we find some remains and get to burning while Dean still can," I suggested.

Sam nodded," hey why are you out here anyway? I thought you'd been in the hotel room."

"Our...our rooms on the fourth floor," he whined. Both Sam and I looked at him. What was wrong with that?

"It's...high," Dean swallowed thickly.

I rested a hand on Dean's shoulder," if you make it through this, you're never gonna live this down," I nodded reassuringly.

He huffed and rolled his eyes, an element of the old Dean coming back. He muttered a small 'I know.' Sam left to see if we could get our room moved down to the first floor. _The things we do for Dean._

Sam went out and did some more digging while I stayed with Dean to basically babysit him. To say he was anxious was an understatement. One second he was sitting there all squirmy and the next he ripped the clock off the wall and smashed it. Fifteen minutes later I was patting his back as he coughed up a wood chip, giving us a clue.

Nighttime rolled around and he wasn't getting any better. His tossing and turning in the bed kept me awake from my position on the uncomfortable couch.

I heard him sigh heavily before he sat up and looked over at me," Juls? Are you awake?"

"What does the sound of my voice tell you?" I mumbled and peeked my eyes open to look at him," just close your eyes, Dee." And I closed mine again.

A moment went by," I've tried that three times already." Before I could reply I was scooped up in strong arms and carried over to my brother's bed.

"Dean what the hell?" I whispered.

"Can't sleep," was all he said. It was just like when I would have a nightmare and needed to be comforted. When Sam went to college Dean was the only other being I had to latch onto. In many ways he was a father figure, maybe even a mother too, but I wouldn't ask for anyone else while I've still got my Dean.

I naturally cuddled to his chest and sighed, feeling the tugs of sleep on my eyes.

"C-can you sing somethin', Jul?" He wonder innocently. He sounded childish, which is something he never really got to have when he was little.

"Would that help you sleep?" I muttered into his chest. I felt him nod into my hair.

I inhaled and situated myself," _when you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears,_

 _It was easy to see, you'd been crying_." I sang one of my favorite songs by Ray Lamontagne:  Hold You in My Arms.

I heard Dean's breathing even out and I continued as sleep slowly took me," _seems like everywhere you turn, catastrophe it reigns,_

 _But who really profits from the dying?_ "

" _I could you in my arms_

 _And I could hold you forever_ ," I repeated those lines until my voice gave and I succumbed to the darkness of sleep.

After that Dean was pretty clingy of me. The entire time at the lumber mill he was either holding my hand or running away. I couldn't be with Dean in the hotel room while Bobby, Sam, and I finished up the case, but when we regrouped I could tell something in him wasn't the same... _the way he looked at Sam like that_...

Bobby drove away some time ago, leaving us three to ourselves.

I'd been gotten mid sentence when my eyes caught something. I stayed staring at the small black mass, my brothers needed to see it this time.

"What?" Both of them chimed.

I nodded to it, never looking away," ever feel like you're being watched?" They turned their heads, and for the first time I didn't feel so crazy: they saw the blackbird too.

"That's the bird you were talking about?" Sam guessed.

I nodded,"Castiel's eyes and ears. I guess he's keeping tabs." We watched as it chirped three times before flying up and away.


	16. Chapter 16

**It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester**

 _Part one_

"Now," I tried to relax mrs. Wallace,"how many razor blade did they find?" Both Sam and I were interrogating the woman whose husband just died...by razors blades found in his stomach and esophagus.

She answered, nearing tears,"T-two on the floor, one in his stomach and one was stuck in his throat. He swallowed four of them. How is that even possible?" She was obviously still in shock. She turned to find Dean snooping in the stove," the candy was never in the _oven_."

He smiled, closing it,"We just have to be thorough, Mrs. Wallace." We go on to learn that there were no other razors found in the other candy. _Odd_. I'd been running a mental list of possible monsters, this entire situation screamed one thing: witch.

Just like I'd been thinking, Dean stood back up from crouching by the refrigerator, revealing a leather bound hex bag.

With that in mind, Sam asked now,"mrs. Wallace, did Luke have any enemies?"

Her brows knitted,"enemies?"

He reiterated," anyone who might've held a grudge against him? For example any co-workers? Neighbors? Or a-uh...woman?"

Her eyes widened and she took offense immediately," are you suggesting an affair?"

"Is it possible?" Sam remained calm, that's the biggest key here.

"No, no, Luke would never," she shook her head and crossed her arms.

I apologized, feeling bad for the tears she was shedding,"I'm very sorry. We just have to consider all possibilities." Mrs. Wallace went on to make a point that if someone was going to kill her husband, they could've done a better job than sticking razor blades in candy that he _might_ eat. She did have a point, but she was missing the part where this was a special situation wherein he'd been hexed by a witch.

 **-break-**

I watched Sam's computer from where I sat beside him on the green motel couch. Sam and I decided to stay here and research while Dean went out doing some more digging on the victim.

Dean entered the room, chewing on candy. His humor could give me whiplash sometimes, I mean a man just died from finding razors in his candy.

Sam shared my thoughts,"Really? After that guy choked down all those razor blades?"

"It's Halloween, man-here Julie," Dean nodded, taking off his coat and tossing me a bag. I looked at the candy inside and saw my favorite: Peachie-O's. _Just a few wouldn't hurt_ , I supposed. I ripped the bag open as Dean and Sam started talking about the ingredients in the hex bag, one of them being the charred metacarpal bone of a newborn baby.

Dean looked disgusted," witches man, they're so fucking skeevy." He got up and moved to sit on the edge of the bed nearby.

I spoke around my chewing," yeah, well, putting a bag together like that...they have to be pretty powerful. You find anything on the victim?" I offered the bag to Dean and he took two.

He shook his head," This Luke Wallace? He was so vanilla that he made vanilla seem spicy." He licked his bottom lip,"I can't figure out why anyone would want this guy dead," he added looking to the floor in thought.

 _Huh, with activity like this, how could we not have any leads?_

 **-break-**

A couple hours later and we were looking into yet another death. This time, a high school girl had been killed...in an apple bobbing barrel. Two witnesses were currently being interrogated when we walked in: a pretty blonde girl, who Dean immediately offered to ask the questions to, and a young man.

While Dean went and asked his questions, Sam and I searched for a hex bag, flashing our badges when authorities asked who we were. I felt under an end table and looked to Sam. He knew my look and I pulled up my hand with the leather hex bag. _Yahtzee_. I held it up and caught Dean's eye. _Looks like this blonde girl could be our witch._

 **-break-**

Back at the motel we were doing more research on what type of witch we were dealing with. I sat with Dean at the small dining table and flipped through one of the the lore books. Dean had been eating a butt load of candy, and you know what? I joined him, thus candy wrappers littered the table.

Dean was looking over the vics' files," I'm telling you, both these vics are squeaky clean. There is no reason for a wicked bitch payback."

Sam came over to us with his own lore book, looking perplexed," maybe because it's not about that."

I popped another candy in my mouth, I'd finished off the Peachie-Os long ago,"wow, insightful" I sarcastically voiced.

"Maybe the witch is working a spell instead, I mean, listen," Sam began reading from the book," three blood sacrifices over three days, the last before midnight on the final day of the final harvest. Celtic Calendar, the final day of the final harvest _is_ October 31st."

Both Dean and I chorused," Halloween." We glanced at each other.

Sam nodded with a tiny smile," exactly."

I looked up at Sam from my under my bangs," so what are these blood sacrifices for?"

Sam scratched the back of his neck,"Uh, if I'm right, this witch is summoning a demon, and not just any demon – Samhain." I felt goosebumps rise on my skin at that name. This was bad and we could be way in over our heads.

Dean noticed how paled I went and realized he was the only one who was clueless," am I supposed to be impressed?"

My jaw dropped at him," Dean, he's only the damn _origin_ of Halloween."

Sam furthered my point and showed Dean pictures from the book as he explained,"The Celts believe that October 31st was the one night of the year when the veil was the thinnest between the living and the dead, and it was Samhain's night. I mean, masks were put on to hide from him, sweets left on doorsteps to appease him, faces carved into pumpkins to worship him. He was exorcised centuries ago."

"So even though Samhain took a trip downstairs, the tradition stuck," my older brother nodded in understanding.

"Exactly, only now instead of demons and blood orgies Halloween is all about kids, candy and costumes," Sam informed.

"this is some bad witchcraft. Look-" I pointed to some words on the page,"-it can only be preformed every six-hundred years."

Dean was catching on," and the six-hundred year marker rolls around...?" He trailed off.

Sam answered curtly," tomorrow night."

Dean came a nervous smirk," naturally." Sam sat on the opposite end of the table as Dean flipped through the lore book's pictures of Samhain and the destruction he wrought.

"One demon can do all of that?" I wondered. A demon of this magnitude is unlike something we've ever dealt with-it was mortifying.

Sam answered again without missing a beat,"That's because he likes company. Once he's raised, Samhain can do some raising of his own."

"Raising what exactly?" Asked Dean.

"Dark, evil crap and lots of it, I mean, they follow him around like the fuckin' Pied Piper."

"So we're talking ghosts?"

"Yeah."

"Zombies?"

"Yep."

I asked now," what about ghouls?" Those always gave me the heeby-jeebies.

Sam nodded," yep."

"Leprechauns?" Dean asked and I snorted.

Sam narrowed his eyes,"Dean-"

"-those little dudes are scary-small hands," Dean held up his own hand and squeezed it.

Rather than feeling the funny mood, Sam kept a serious expression," Look, it just starts with ghosts and ghouls, this sucker keeps on going, by night's end we are talking every awful thing we have ever seen. Everything we fight, all in _one place_." Just the thought of something like that becoming a reality caused my stomach to churn...or maybe it was all this candy.

 **-break-**

I was with Dean now, low key spying on the widow, Mrs. Wallace, looking for any signs that could give us our witch. For the last two hours we've gotten nothing.

I lazily sucked on the caramel-green-Appel sucker as Dean spoke on the phone with Sammy. We'd gotten a bet going that I could keep down more sugary treats than he could. His stomach was cramping whilst I was in the win.

He spoke with Sam on the phone,"Yeah, well I hope we find 'em soon cause I'm starting to cramp like a-" he stopped his sentence I followed his gaze...sure enough, there was our apple-bobbing-cheerleader, walking up the Wallace's steps. "-son of a bitch...no Sam, I mean _son of a bitch_."

Shortly after we went back to the motel to regroup. I couldn't believe Tracy was our witch.

I sat on the bed with Sam and laid on my back, letting the boys converse.

"The Wallaces' babysitter. Told me she never even heard of Luke Wallace," the green-eyed brother made known.

"Huh, interesting look for a centuries-old witch," my other brother typed some more on his laptop.

Dean took a seat on the next bed," Yeah, well, if you were a six-hundred-year-old hag and you could pick any costume to come back in, wouldn't you go for a hot cheerleader? I _would_ , hmm..." I leaned up on my elbows to peer at him. He was staring off into the distance letting thoughts fly silently. He sighed in content.

"Gross," I muttered and laid back on the bed.

The tallest brother shared what he found about Tracy," Well, Tracy's not as wholesome as she looks. Did some digging – apparently she got into a 'violent altercation' with one of her teachers, got suspended from school."

The next day we woke up and prepared to meet with the teacher of interest. He seemed like a genuinely good guy and baffled us when he shared that Tracy had been sketching of witch craft and blood sacrifices. Don, her teacher told us she would more than likely be at her apartment right about now.

 **-break-**

 **A/N** : part two coming soon!


	17. Chapter 17

**It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester**

 _part two_

Sam lowered his gun and couldn't stop staring at Castiel. It was like he was seeing something amazing after a world of bad, I didn't want to burst his bubble, but the angels haven't been everything humans made them up to be.

Castiel looked just how he did the last time I'd seen him: tall, handsome, and possessing those jet black wings that seemed to twitched and ruffle as I stood closer.

I looked to the window when I noticed another presence, he wasn't facing us, but the dark-toned man just stared out the window. Dean noticed him as well,"him we don't know."

"Hello, Sam," Castiel greets.

I had to hold back my own smile for my brother, he looked so happy and shocked. An angel was talking...to him,"Oh my God – er – uh – I didn't mean to – sorry. It's an honor, really, I-I've heard a lot about you." My brother sputtered. I stood on Sam's left and Castiel's right, my goal here was to be as close to Castiel as I could without leaving the table open for my brothers to know something's up.

Sam held his hand out eagerly to shake the angels hand, my other brother, Dean closed the door and came back. Watching Castiel take Sam's hand was calming until Castiel said," and I you-Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood. Glad to see you've seize your extracurricular activities."

Sam's smile fell at that. This was were I started to ache for my brother. He'd been praying to angels, to even God for help; when he needed someone to talk to that wasn't his siblings, it was the celestial beings above and what do that acknowledge of him? Demon blood. Something that wasn't within Sammy's power to fix.

The deep voice of the angel at the window spoke, not liking away from the world outside," let's keep it that way."

Dean's brow furrowed," yeah, okay, chuckles," Dean looked back at Cas," who's your friend?"

Castiel ignored his question,"This the raising of Samhain, have you stopped it?"

"Why?" wondered Dean and why did Cas change the subject?

"Julie," Cas looked to me,"have you located the witch?" What's up with all these rapid questions?

I nodded," yes, we've located the witch."

"And is the witch dead?"

Dean started but I interrupted," No, but –"

"-we know who it is."

Castiel quirked an eyebrow at our answer and walked over to the end table by my bed for the night, holding up a hex bag that had been planted," apparently, the witch knows who you are too."

"This was inside the wall of your room. If we hadn't found it, surely one or all of you would be dead. Do you know where the witch is now?" The angel explained further.

"We're working on it," Dean answered flatly.

"That's unfortunate," Castiel looked to the floor," it is of import that you do, the raising of Samhain is one of the sixty-six seals."

Dean cocked his head," oh so this is about your buddy, Lucifer."

An angel in the back spoke lowly once more," Lucifer, is no friend of ours." Dean held his hands up in surrender and mutter a "just and expression."

Cas got down to the nitty-gritty,"Lucifer cannot rise. The breaking of the seal must be prevented at all costs."

"Okay, great, well now that you're here, why don't you tell us where the witch is, we'll gank her and everybody goes home," I suggested. The angels could help us, we could help them and we'd be out of each other's hair.

The angel stepped back in place that was loosely by my side,"We are not omniscient. This witch is very powerful, she's cloaked even our methods." I nodded in understanding. So that's out of the question.

"Okay, well we already know who she is, so if we work together-" Sam was cut off, but the other angel-who-we-have-yet-to-learn's name.

"-enough of this!" He turned from the window, a forever scowl on his face.

"Okay who are you and why should we care?" Dean asked getting angry.

Castiel decided to introduce us, but he sounded hesitant," this is Uriel, he's what you might a call...a specialist." The angel Uriel walked towards us.

Dean and I both saw the apprehensive look in Castiel's eye. Dean spoke first," What kind of specialist? What are you gonna do?"

Cas sputtered looking us all over," you-uh-all of you need to leave this town immediately." I didn't like the sound of his voice, what were they planning?

"Why?" I quizzed.

Castiel took a breath, not meeting my eyes and answering," because we're about to destroy it." Me an my brothers glanced worriedly at each other.

 **-break-**

"So, this is your plan? You're gonna smite the whole fuckin' town?" Dean asked incredulously.

Castiel also didn't look too happy about it,"We're out of time. This witch has to die, the seal must be saved."

I gaped, they were serious about this," you can't, there are thousands of people here."

Uriel shook his head," this isn't the first time I've...purified a city." I felt sick to my stomach. There were children here-babies even! Castiel saw me almost doubling over and looked worriedly

"Look I understand this is regrettable-" Castiel was cut off by my oldest brother.

"Regrettable?" Dean was practically fuming at this. Who wouldn't be? Our job is saving people, killing thousands to stop one witch is ridiculous.

Castiel cocked his head," too many seals have been broken already."

"So this town has to pay the price if you screw the pooch on a few seals?" I asked growing angry myself.

"It's the lives of one thousand against the lives of six billion. There's a bigger picture here," the blue eyed angel tried to settle.

Dean stared sarcastically,"right, cause you're bigger-picture-kind-of-guys."

"Lucifer cannot rise. He does and hell rises with him. Is that something that you're willing to risk?" Castiel countered, clenching his fists from repressed anger.

Sam sighed and tried to bargain again,"We'll stop this witch before she summons anyone. Your seal won't be broken and no one has to die."

Uriel tisked his tongue and shook his head in impatience," we're wasting time with these mud monkeys."

I put my hands on my hips," who the hell are you calling mud monkeys?" Uriel met my glare with one of his own, we entered a stare down. I felt a swell of pride when Uriel broke the gaze first.

Castiel laid a hand on my arm, I gave a small intake of breath as tingles started to travel from his warm hand to the rest of my body. He looked shocked as well before his eyes softened and looked over me and my siblings," I'm sorry, but we have our orders."

Sam shook his head hopelessly," No, you can't do this, you're angels, I mean aren't you supposed to – You're supposed to show mercy."

I wasn't gonna let Sam go through this alone, I shared his thoughts too," I know you don't exactly have halos," I glanced at Cas's wings," but humans have interpreted from the bible that you're loving and caring. You know? No one's life is lesser or greater than anyone else's? Please don't tell me the Bible is just a fantasy."

Castiel looked me in the eye, finally releasing my arm...the lose of contact felt...well, it felt like being empty," We have no choice," he sounded wounded.

My brother, Dean scoffed," of course you have a choice. I mean, come on, what? You've never questioned a crap order, huh? What are you both, just a couple of hammers?" It was harsh, but right now the angels seemed more like tools-heavenly expendable-tools.

Castiel squinted,"Look, even if you can't understand it, have faith. The plan is just."

"How can you even say that?" Asked Sam. His hope in angels had diminished.

"Because it comes from heaven, that makes it just," Answered Castiel matter-of-factly. I didn't know how I felt about that.

Dean put his hands on his hips,"Well sorry boys, looks like the plans have changed."

Uriel belittled him," you think you can stop us?"

My heart rate picked up when Dean planted himself in Uriel's face and seethed,"No, but if you're gonna smite this whole town, then you're gonna have to smite us with it, because we are not leaving. See, you went to the trouble of busting me out of hell. I figure I'm worth something to the man upstairs. So you wanna waste me, go ahead, see how he digs that."

Uriel spoke with a calm that chilled my bones," I will drag you out of here myself."

Dean chuckled a bit,"Yeah, but you'll have to kill me, Julie, and then Sam. Then, we're back to the same problem. I mean, come on, you're gonna wipe out a whole town for one little witch. Sounds to me like you're compensating for something."

Dean stepped back and turned his gaze to trench coat angel," we can do this."

Sam added," We will find the witch and we will stop the summoning."

"Castiel! I will not listen to these peo-" Uriel's growling was interrupted by Cas.

"Enough!" He shouted making me flinch. I was never good with loud noises...I think my issue with it arose with my father...he never liked it when I disobeyed. He noticed my action and I saw his wings droop slightly, his features softened once more,"I suggest you work quickly," he told Dean.

We all nodded, happy to have a chance at this. Sam took my hand and we were out of there. Every step I took away from the angel made my feet feel like they were coated in cement. What if he felt the same way too?

-break-

Samhain turned out to be one evil son of a bitch. To even hide from the guy, Sam had to smear some blood on my face, and then Sam had to use his demon powers to exorcise him. Both Dean and I didn't like it, but Sam using his powers was our only option in the moment. Yes he'd been killed, but that seal was still broken, meaning we are one step closer to literal hell on earth.

I sat with Dean at the park, my head on his shoulder as we watched the kids play happily with there friends, one thing running through my mind: the angels wanted to destroy this, all of these precious babies and their fun. This is why I loved being a hunter, I can see the change we make, even if that means everything remains exactly how it was yesterday.

"Sam's birthday is tomorrow," I stayed.

My brother hummed," what are we getting him?"

I sighed contently," I sketched a portrait of him, think I'll give him that; you're on your own, pal," I laughed lightly.

"Thanks," I could practically hear his eyes rolling.

All at once it was quiet and tranquil, and then, just as fast as blinking I felt that tug that reached soul-deep. I peered around to Dean to the bench beside us, it was Cas.

Dean didn't even need to see that he was there to know," lemme guess, you're here for the 'I told you so'?"

"No," the angel surprised us.

Dean looked at him this time," well good, 'cause I'm really not that interested."

Maybe we were rubbing off on Castiel, I saw him try to roll his eyes," I'm not here to judge you, Dean."

"Then why are you here? To mate my sister or some shit?" Dean wondered aloud. I elbowed him-there are children who could possibly hear him.

Cas seemed to blush and he shook his head," our orders-" Dean stopped him.

"Yeah, you know, I've had about enough of these orders of yours –" Dean was surprising cut off by Castiel.

"Our orders were not to stop the summoning of Samhain, they were to do whatever you told us to do," the angel dropped. My brows furrowed in confusion.

"No offense, bub," I looked from Dean to Castiel," but why would you follow his orders?"

"It was a test," the angel began,"to see how you would perform under... battlefield conditions, you might say."

Both Dean and I squinted in more confusion. Battlefield conditions? Really?

"It was one witch, not the Tet offensive," Dean remarked lowly. All of us sunk into a silence as we just watched the kids on the swings, and the monkey bars. There was a dog being walked that caught my eye. Dean spoke again, calmly this time,"So I, uh, failed your test, huh? I get it. But you know what? If you would have waved that magic time-traveling wand of yours and we had to do it all over again, I'd make the same call. 'Cause see, I don't know what's gonna happen when these seals are broken, hell I don't even know what's gonna happen tomorrow. But what I do know is, that this, here? These kids, the swings, the trees, all of it is still here because of my siblings and me."

Castiel replied with equal calm," You misunderstand me, Dean, I'm not like you think. I was praying that you would choose to save the town." So Castiel was different. That made me accept him a little bit more, if he was anything like Uriel, I'd have dropped him like a bad habit. A part of me was curious where this thing, Castiel and I had, would go.

"You were?" Both Dean and I chorused. Being siblings was one thing, but asking at the same time? It could get unsettling at times.

The angel gave a small nod. I saw a look cross his face that I have yet to see: he was tender and being open about humanity, god, maybe even his free will that he was conscious of," These people, they're all my father's creations. They're works of art, and yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken and we are one step closer to hell on earth, for all creation. Now that's not an expression, Dean and Julie, it's literal. Dean, you of all people should appreciate what that means," my brother looks at him with sad eyes," Can I tell you you two something if you promise not to tell another soul?"

"Anything," I voiced without thinking. Dean quirked an eyebrow at me and I slightly shrugged.

Nevertheless the angel spilled his secret and we listened eagerly," I'm not a… hammer as you say. I have questions, I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here. But in the coming months all of you will have more decisions to make. I don't envy the weight that's on your shoulders, Dean. I truly don't." I felt a twinge of awe for the angel. He wasn't like the others and was pro-humanity. He wanted us to save people. Castiel made eye contact with me, as if sensing my thoughts, I didn't look away bashfully this time.

But by the mere blink of my eye he was gone, and silence ensued. I sighed along with Dean. The puzzle that was Castiel was slowly being put together, and...I liked the picture it was making.


	18. Chapter 18

**I Know What You Did Last Summer**

"Brian," Sam started, feigning intoxication,"come on, man, just one more. Just - just give me a chance to win it back." It sucked that this was how we conjured cash, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

The bald man named Brian shrugged," it's your cash." Obviously he was hoping Sam would bet more. I shifted my feet beside Dean. If we were going to sell this, we had to play our part.

Dean pretended further," Excuse me. My brother's a little _sauced_ to be making bets."

"He insisted," the other man countered.

I rested a hand on the barricade between the bar and the gambling section," yeah, but you've already taken-what? Two bills off of him? I'm just saying," I played my best worried sister.

Sam followed my lead," relax, Juls, I'm fine." I rolled my eyes in response.

I added with more worry," no you're not fine, you're drunk!" Dean put a hand on the small of my back.

All Sam did was cock his head and hold out a wad of cash," make it five-hundred."

" _Five-hundred_?" Both Dean and I mirrored shock on our faces.

This little charade continued until Sam spotted someone across the room, telling the man to keep the five-hundred, pissing Dean and I off- for real. He'd given up our cash for the person he saw... _Ruby_. I was beginning to think there was something more going on between them, it couldn't all be demon exercising, could it?

I was glad that Dean shared my distaste for seeing Ruby again, but she was talking about something that could, potentially, be a really big deal. Apparently, some girl named Anna Milton busted out of a mental institution, the demons have orders to take her alive. This has got _something_ fishy to it, and besides, we haven't taken a case in two weeks since Samhain.

We were currently driving to our motel, tomorrow we would be visiting the mental hospital where Anna had previously resided. Sam spoke on the phone with the secretary there.

"Can I get a copy of the missing persons report?" His voice full of authority," Great. Okay. Thanks." He hung up and shared with us what he found out," well, Anna Milton's definitely real."

"Don't mean the case is real. And this hospital's a three-day drive," Dean spat grumpily.

I gently tried to be the voice of reason once again," we have driven further for less, bub." In response he shook his head, repressing his frustration.

Sam suddenly huffed," you got something to say, then say it," to Dean,"wait-don't, I already know: you're not pissed we're going after the girl. You're pissed Ruby threw us the tip."

My oldest brothers lips drew a hard line as he gave a grumpy head nod," Right. 'Cause as far as you're concerned, the hell-bitch is practically family. Yeah, boy, something major must've happened while I was downstairs, 'cause I come back, and - and you're BFF with a demon." He thought exactly what I was thinking. There was, once again, something Sam wasn't telling us.

Sam and Dean started going back and forth. I shrunk back in my seat, I hated fighting and this was more so between the two of them.

"She helped me go after Lilith," Sam started.

"Well, thanks for the thumbnail - real vivid. You want to fill in a little detail?"

Sam turned in his seat to face Dean more," Sure, Dean, let's trade stories. You first. How was Hell? Don't spare the details." Dean grew quiet and clutched the wheel with white knuckles.

" _boys_ ," I whispered hopelessly.

 **-break-**

The psychologist was speaking with us in the room Anna had once inhabited. The window on the door was busted and the dresser was banged up.

"Apparently, she knocked him unconscious. The blow caused some amnesia. He doesn't even remember coming into her room," the woman with curly hair informed us. I stood at the back, checking out the windows, looking for one thing: sulfur.

Dean scoffed," That's a hell of a right hook to knock out a guy that's got 80 pounds on her."

The woman hummed in agreement," we fear she may have planned this-waited behind the door." We all exited the room to speak with her in the hallway now.

The psychologist showed us Anna's own drawing book and Sam flipped through some of the pages. There were some drawings that were repetitive looking like stain glass windows, and then there was. . .she drew the rising of the witnesses and Samhain. _How did she know about that?_

"That's revelations," I stated out loud.

The woman picked up on it and asked," since when does the Book of Revelations have jack-o'-lanterns?"

I pulled an answer out of my ass," it's a uh...little known translation."

She wave me off," Well, Anna's father was a church deacon. When she became ill, her paranoia took on religious overtones. She was convinced the devil was about to rise up and end the world," _well she's not wrong_ , I thought," I hope you find her. It's dangerous for her to be out there alone right now".

After the hospital we hit the Milton residence. We stood on the porch and Dean knocked on the door. There was silence on the other side. As I took in my surroundings I noted the family cars still parked beside the house.

"Maybe they're not home?" The green-eyed brother theorized.

"With both cars _still_ in the driveway?" I shot back. When things started to grow weird like this, we visibly change into another person. We dropped the FBI gig somewhat and started to look at this as if a monster lay in waiting inside the home. The front door was unlocked, _red flag number three_ , so we walked in with our guns prepared beneath our fingers.

Sam called out,"We're from the sheriff's department. We just wanted to ask you a couple of questions."

The living room was to our left and as we stepped further over the threshold, two bodies became visible. Their throats were slit...they'd been dead for at least an hour.

I scrunched my nose," it never gets any easier, does it?" I've seen so many dead bodies, so many people who lived normal lives, die gruesome deaths. Every body was just as hard to look at as the last.

Sam shook his head, but said nothing.

We began putting together a theory and while we did that, Sam found a picture. Turned out, Anna had been drawing the exact stain glass window that hung over her church. It made since. She was religious, scared, and had demons on her ass. This had to be where she was hiding.

 **-break-**

We traded our FBI garb for our everyday clothes consisting of plaid and jeans. The church was a beautiful building, but there was now an air of mysticism about it when we reached the attic which held the large stain glass window.

Sam spotted the girl hiding and gestured for us to put our weapons away, we did so and raised our hands. We meant no harm to her.

Sam softly introduced us and our purpose,"Anna? We're not gonna hurt you. We're here to help. My name is Sam. This is my brother, Dean, and this is my sister, Julie." I gave a small wave with my hand.

"Sam?" Called a soft spoken voice behind an old window pane," not Sam Winchester? And Julie too?"

Sam and I shared a look of confusion," uh, yeah, that's us," I looked back to her. She revealed herself. I didn't miss Dean's tiny gasp, she was a very pretty woman with a soft face, large doe eyes, and gorgeous red hair.

"And your Dean. _Thee_ Dean?" She emphasized looking at him.

It didn't surprise me when Dean threw her his half smirk that made all the girls drool, he laughed nervously," well, yeah, _thee_ Dean I guess."

Anna walked up to us now, relaxing more, she tried to keep her smiles in, I tried to keep down my own. What could I say? I found smiling contagious," It's really you! Oh, my god! The angels talk about you. You were in Hell, but Castiel pulled you out," the thought of Castiel had an odd pang pulse through my veins," and some of them think you can help save us," she looked to Sam," And some of them don't like you at all.

She turned to me," and you...the angels are green with envy that you've found your soulmate- you're the first couple to do so since. . .well the dinosaurs were around at the time. They talk about you all the time lately. I feel like I know you," she looked over all of us.

The angels takes about us? This was certainly news, what else were they saying?

"So you talk to angels?" Dean tried to understand.

She shook her head quickly," Oh, no. No, no way. Um, they probably don't even know I exist. I just kind of... _overhear_ them," she found the right word. That was pretty damn cool, but now I see where the price is on her head.

"You overhear them?" I wondered.

She nodded," Yeah, they talk, and sometimes I just...," trying not to sound crazy," hear them in my head."

Dean looked around and bowed his head," like... right now?"

Anna shook her head again," Not right this second, but a lot. And I can't shut them out, there are so many of them."

My oldest brother figured out why she was institutionalized,"So, they lock you up with a case of the crazies when really you were just... tuning in to angel radio?"

She nodded and looked so relived to finally have someone who understands, " _yes_ , thank you." I watched my brother and her share a moment. In this moment I decided I liked where this relationship was heading. They'd be cute together.

"Anna, when did the voices start? Do you can remember?" Asked Sam.

She answered," September 18th." My eyes widened that was the day Dean busted out of hell.

The next words that came from Anna's mouth sent chills down my spine and goosebumps rose on my arm," First words I heard, clear as a bell - _'Dean Winchester is saved_ '." Those were the same words echoed in my mind from my dream. I connected more dots in my head, _the voice I heard had belonged to Cas..._

Just as Anna asked about her family, Ruby burst in and warned us that we needed to go.

"Ah! Her face!" Anna cried and tried backing away. She could tell she was a demon? Awesome, but probably not where she was standing.

Sam was quick to defend," it's okay, she's here to help!"

Dean scoffed," yeah, don't be so sure." I went to Anna's side to calm her.

"This is _not_ the time boys," I warned them.

"We have to hurry, a demon's coming- _big time_. We can fight later," Ruby tried to rationalize. For once, I agreed with her.

Dean stood up straighter," Well, that's pretty convenient - showing up right when we find the girl with some bigwig on your tail," he thought there was an ulterior motive here, seems fair.

She placed her hands on her hips,"He followed you from the girl's house. We got to go _now_." I looked up from my spot beside Anna...the angel statue looked as if it was crying blood.

I had to tel them," uh, guys?" They looked to me and I pointed to it. Anna covered her mouth. _This would be a sucky time to be religious_ , I thought.

Ruby gulped," it's too late. . .he's here."

I nodded," alright, plan B. I gently took Anna's arm and guided her to the closet the boys prepared to fight," okay sweetie, stay in here and don't move, okay?" She nodded and traveled to the back of the closet. I rejoined my brothers, holding out my knife Dean had gifted me.

Ruby told Sam to stick the holy water and pull this demon out, both Dean and I reacted negatively.

"Now's not the time to bellyache about Sam going darkside. He does his thing, he exorcises that demon, or we die," she yelled at us, making us shut up. Sam stood in front of us and put the flask away. Both Dean and I not happy about this.

I exhaled and tried to relax when I heard footsteps slowly stomp to the door. I flinched when the door came off its hinges and revealed the demon. He stalked into the room, eyes roaming over all of us, but his gaze lingered over Dean. Sam immediately tried exorcising him, but all he did was cough.

"That tickles," even this demons voice was scary it was low, and sounded, what was that? Sweden accented?" You don't have the juice to take me on your own, Sam."

The demon started towards us, but I stood in front of Sam, to get rid of me the demon flung me across the room and my head smacked off of a wooden support beam. I saw darkness until I was being lifted by Sam and shakily stood my own two legs," c'mon, Juls," he said and my mind unfogged somewhat.

Dean, Sam, and I stood together now, the demon who's name we'd learn later as, Alistair, stood with the demon knife. _Shit_. We didn't have a weapon with us that could kill him. What else could we do? We looked at each other and looked to what was behind us: the large stain glass window. I immediately knew what the boys were thinking.

My stomach dropped," um, no-" Dean interpreted me.

"Live now, cry about it later," My brother huffed out, maybe even he wasn't okay with this. Alastair started walking towards us and we sprinted for the window. Sam and Dean broke it first and we free fell. I landed in top of Sam with a thud, and groaned in pain when I felt glass embed itself in my back.

 **-break-**

The motel room was full of our pain. Sam was currently stitching himself up, Dean was rinsing his mouth in the bathroom with a dislocated shoulder, and I very carefully took my shirt off. My modesty amongst my siblings had vanished over the years. They're my family does whatever the fuck they have to do to keep each alive. Sam was finished up his stitch and I muttered small "ow's." my back was littered with cuts and deep slices from the glass, I'm sure there's still a few pieces still in there.

"Are you almost done?" Dean asked Sam, stepping back into the room holding his arm.

Sam grunted," I'm going as fast as I can."

"Good 'cause I got a dislocated shoulder over here and Juls needs help with her back," Dean took a swig of alcohol before giving it to a needy Sam and he cleaned his work up with the alcohol.

Dean spoke and Sam came to stand by him," we got to find Anna."

"Ruby's got her- I'm sure she's okay-alright on three," Sam pressed one hand on the front of the shoulder and his other on the back. Dean braced himself, while Sam started counting,"...one." And without making it three he, caught Dean by surprise and quickly pressed his hand down. A pop filled the room and Dean's face contorted in pain. I winched for him.

"My turn!" I told them both, I didn't care who helped me, I just wanted the pain to end. I held my shirt to me chest, covering my front, I wasn't going to expose myself that much. Sam sat on the other bed, Dee grabbed a wet cloth and some tweezers before sitting behind me. I held my blonde locks up with my free hand, "You're gonna have to unstrap the bra, bub." I told him flatly.

Dean did as told and went about wiping up blood and picking out glass. I bit my lip harshly trying not to groan or move to much.

Dean spoke with Sam from where he sat," You sure about Ruby? 'Cause I think it's just as likely she used us to find radio girl and then brought that demon in to kill us."

"No, she took Anna to keep her safe," sam answered, he sounded convinced. Dean plucked the biggest piece of glass out and I whined. He held the rag under it when blood seeped out.

"Sorry, princess, that one's gonna need stitched. Yeah, well why hasn't she told us where she is?" Dean still spoke to Sam. He cleaned all the wounds and started stitching the worst one.

Sam responded instantly,"Because that demon is probably watching us right now, waiting to follow us right back to Anna again. That's why he let us go," that sounded plausible.

Dean gestured to my back," you call _this_ letting us go?" I breathed out a single chuckle. Dean cut the thread and took the alcohol from Sam, rinsing over a few cuts making me hiss.

"Shit, Dean! Warn a girl next time!" I panted. He patted my shoulder in apology, stood to go to his duffel bag, and tossed me one of his shirts. It was baggy enough on me so that it wouldn't bother the stitching.

"Yeah, I do. Look, killing us would've been no problem to that thing. That's why, for now, we just got to lay low and wait for Ruby to contact us," Sam was growing more frustrated. I move to Sam's bed and laid on my stomach, giving my back some relief. Sam and Dean went further into a discussion about Ruby. Sam decided it was time to come clean about his adventures with Ruby. While he spoke my eyes drooped closed.

Suddenly a maid coming into the room, startled me awake, and told Sam to meet her at a certain address. Sam thought she was hitting on him and tried to hide a smile. Turns out that it was Ruby _in the maid meat suit_ , telling us to go out through the bathroom window. We left as soon as she walked back out the door.

 **-break-**

Ruby had lead us to a cabin in the middle of absolutely no where. She opens the door, letting us in and when I saw Anna sitting on the couch I went to her, and hugged her. She was already feeling like a sister to me and I just wanted to keep her safe.

"Are you okay, Anna?" I asked her and he hugged me tighter.

She pulled away to look at me and all of us,"Yeah. I think so. Ruby's not like other demons. She saved my life." I looked to Ruby and gave her a small smile. Don't get me wrong, I'm still pissed as hell at her for her adventures with Sam, but I possessed a forgiving heart. She smiled back. Dean even saw the chance to attempt forgiving her, which went miserably, but he means well.

Anna looked to me," hey, Julie? You think I could make a quick call? Just to tell my parents I'm okay, they must be freaked." I tensed and looked to my brothers for help. _How do I tell this girl her that parents are dead?_

Both of my brothers shifted uncomfortably muttering a series of "uh's".

I sighed and took Anna's hands she looked at me, worry slowly filling her features," Anna. . ."

"What?" She breathed.

"You're parents. . .they, um,"

"What about them?" Her voice started to go an octave higher, I could see her eyes praying I wasn't about to tell what I was going to.

"Sweetie... they didn't make it," I brushed back her hair. She collapsed to my chest and wailed. I just held her and rubbed her back.

"Why is this happening to me?" She wept.

"We don't know," I softly told her, trying to blink back tears of my own. I couldn't help it, I'm a sympathetic cryer.

Suddenly she shot back up and looked out the window, a grave expression in her face," they're coming," she whispered.

"Back room," Dee ordered. I gently took Anna to the back room and locked the door, telling her to stay as quiet as possible.

I joined my brothers and Ruby in the tiny living room preparing for who exactly was coming. Ruby's nagging about loosing the demon knife went in one in and out the other, we have bigger fish at the moment.

I took calming breaths. The door began to rattle and a sensation hit me. This feeling was one I was still beginning to become acquainted with, but it was the one I always felt when Castiel was around. Sure enough, the door swung open with a bang and in walked the trench coat angel. I couldn't steal my eyes from him, when he caught my eye he stared back. My mind went haywire at the sight of him. _This would all be easier if he wasn't so damn good looking_.

Dean tried to jest somewhat," please tell me you're here to help, we've been having demon issues all day."

Uriel spoke. I squinted at him when I heard his voice, I didn't like him one bit," Well, I can see that. You want to explain why you have that _stain_ in the room?"

Castiel ignored Uriel's insult," we're here for Anna.

"Here for her like... _here for her_?" I wondered. If they wanted to kill her we wouldn't stand for it, if they wanted to take her to keep her safe, that _might_ be negotiable.

Uriel snapped at me," stop talking. Give her to us."

"You watch your goddamn tone with me," I growled. I felt Castiel's eyes on me then, but I didn't look at him, afraid I'd get lost in those blue eyes again.

"Are you gonna help her?" Sam asked getting to the point.

Castiel sighed and I looked at him now," no...she has to die." I felt my heart tear two ways: a great part of me wanted to protect Anna at any cost even if that meant hurting Cas, but. . . I couldn't deny the feeling in my very soul that wanted to help Cas, or to even be with him.


	19. Chapter 20

**Heaven and Hell**

 _Part one_

 **A/N** : I wasn't going to split this episode, but there are major scenes/events that needed to happen with Julie.

 **-break-**

I looked to both of the angels before us," why do you want Anna?"

Uriel cocked his head," enough of this, out of the way, girl," and he started making his

way towards the door that was behind me.

Dean became over protective," Whoa, whoa, whoa," Uriel stopped his steps," Okay, I know she's wiretapping your angel chats or whatever, but it's no reason to gank her and if you lay a finger on my sister, I will kill you."

Uriel smirked and referred to Anna...I hope at least," don't worry, I'll kill her gentle."

Dean clenched his jaw," you're some heartless sons of bitches you know that?"

Castiel spoke up now," as a matter of fact we are, and?" He didn't mean that. He couldn't. The last time we saw him he was telling us how he was more caring than the rest of the flock.

" _And_?" Started my brunet brother," Anna's an innocent girl."

Cas shook his head and drew out," oh she is _far_ from innocent." What the hell did that mean? My brothers and I shared a confused look.

"What's the supposed to mean?" Asked Sam.

Uriel, unfortunately, answered," it means she's worse than this abomination you've been screwing." I saw Castiel look away, as if he didn't like the thought of Anna being below a demon," now give us the girl."

Dean shook his head after asking us silently what we thought," nah, try JDate." Anna was innocent and protecting the innocent was our job.

"And who's going to stop us? You three? Or this demon whore?" Uriel grumbled. Without warning, Uriel used his powers to fling Ruby to the window. She moaned at the pain and he continued to pick her up by the neck and beat her. Both Dean and Sam rushed to her side, leaving me with... _him._

He made eye contact with me and I started to back up towards the door. He approached me, never looking away from my eyes.

"Cas, please-you don't have to do this-there's always another way," I held my hands up in surrender, I couldn't find it in myself to hurt him.

"I'm sorry, Julie," he used two fingers and pressed them to my forehead. I felt an instant sleep take over me and my legs gave out beneath me. However, I could feel strong arms catch me and lay me down gently. When I woke up next, Dean was helping me stand and Cas was no where to be seen, or Uriel for that matter. We went to the room Anna was in and my eyes went wide. There was a gash on her arm and she was bleeding badly. Dean tied a bandanna around her wound, looking at a symbol on the mirror...drawn in her blood. She didn't kill the angels, just sent them away, giving us a head start.

 **-break-**

We went back to Bobby's, thinking Anna would be safest in the panic room, that's where Dean was right now, making sure Anna was safe and Ruby was watching her.

Unfortunately, our surrogate father wasn't here and the place was a mess. I did my part and tried to tidy things up. When both Sam and Dean walked in I was doing the dishes and getting a, somewhat, decent dinner started.

"Where's Bobby?" Sam asked, he'd just gotten back from driving the impala back here.

"The Dominican, " Dean answered smartly.

I called out in question," is he working a job?"

My brother scoffed," God I hope so. Otherwise, he's at hedonism in a banana hammock and a trucker cap." I winced at the mental image I was given.

Sam's face scrunched making me chuckle," now that's seared into my brain."

I finished the dishes and sat on the couch, Sam and Dean started talking about Anna's files while at the psych ward.

"When she was two-and-a-half, she'd get hysterical any time her dad got close. She was convinced that he wasn't her real daddy," Sam explained to us.

"Who was?" Wondered Dean with a smirk on his face,"the Plummer? A little snake-in-the-pipes?"

I shook my head," gross."

Sam had a small smile of his own," Dude, you're confusing reality with porn _again_ ," he digressed," Look, Anna didn't say. She just kept repeating that this real father of hers was mad. Very mad - like wanted-to-kill-her _mad._ "

"Kind of heavy for a two-year old," I stated while laying my head on the arm rest.

"Well, she saw a kid's shrink, got better, and grew up normal," Sam sighed.

Dean threw his hand," until now. So, what's she hiding?"

"Why don't you just ask me to my face?" Came the sudden voice of Anna herself. I sat up quickly and looked at her. Her arms crossed over her chest.

Dean looked annoyingly at Ruby," nice job watching her."

Ruby leaned on the door frame," I am watching her."

Sam asked her then if she knew why the angels would want her, I mean they think she's guilty of something, but Anna had no clue what. She informed us with tears in her eyes that she would give anything to know. Dean decided that knows the time to call in Pamela.

 **-break-**

I was over joyed to see Pamela again. The last time we saw her, her eyes were fire-blasted out of her skull, now, she had awesome looking plastics eyes in. I'm happy that her humor didn't go away when she lost her sight.

I sat in the armchair of the panic room, anxiously watching Pamala preform hypnotism on Anna. Dean sat the closest to me on the work desk.

Anna had entered the deep trance and Pamela asked her a series of questions,"how can you hear the angels? How did you work that spell?"

Anna answered very calmly, almost on the edge of sleep," I don't know. I just did."

"And your father, what's his name?"

"Rich Milton," she answered. Pamela started pressing further, wanting to go back to when she was very young, but Anna didn't want to.

"What's your dad's name? Your _real_ dad?" Asked our psychic.

Anna started fidgeting and tossing her head," no! No!" She started screaming and the panic room lights began to flicker making me gasp. The room door slammed in Ruby's face. Anna screamed," no! He's gonna kill me!"

Dean went to help Pamela strap Anna down, but was flung across the room. Our psychic made quick yet calm work of bringing her out of the state. Anna sat up, hair looking wind blown.

We stared at her waiting for her to explain or say anything," Thank you, Pamela. That helps a lot. I remember now."

"Remember what?" She asked in reply.

Anna simply said," who I am." Even her voice seemed to change, she definitely was the same Anna we walked in her with.

No one said anything so I decided to," okay, I'll bite, who are you?"

She looked at me with the hint of a smile," I'm an angel." I swallowed hard. This couldn't be good.

 **-break-**

Anna was now swearing up and down that she want like the other angels. That's what Cas said too, but he still chooses to listen to these crap orders he's given. Both Pamala and Ruby seemed to grasped just how fucked we really are. Anna is an angel that heaven would give anything to have and hell wants her to torture and get their own answers.

We then went on to learn that Anna had actually fallen from the heaven when she ripped out her own grace. What she had to do to fall sounded painful, but there's a good chance that her grace is still where she fell...we just had to find it.

Sam stayed in the living room downstairs researching comets that were reported at the time of Anna's falling. Dean had left to take Pamela back home and I was sketching in my journal once more in my room. Bobby didn't always have this place, once John started leaving us with him he moved here, bought this house, and set up an auto shop to make money.

After getting ready for bed, Dean came in telling me that Sam's had found where Anna's grace landed and they were heading out. I groaned, I just wanted to sleep. So rather than sitting in between the angel and the demon, I squeezed in between Sam and Dean in the front, which wasn't all that bad-they were warm. I succumbed to sleep against Sam's shoulder ten minutes into the drive.

 **-break-**

The tree where Anna grace smashed into the earth was breathtaking," its beautiful," I said.

Anna smoothed my arm," thank you, it's definitely here. I can feel it."

"You ready to do this?" Dean worried over her. It was obvious to me that the two of them shared something, I just couldn't place it yet.

"Not really," she said shaking her head. Nonetheless she took a deep breath and walked up to the tree. None of really knew what to expect.

"Anna, what exactly are we even looking for?" Wondered my brunet sibling.

Anna snatched her hand from the tree," it doesn't matter. It's not here, not _anymore_ , she looked back at us, angry," someone _took_ it."

 **-break-**

We all grouped at a nearby barn. I took my place beside Anna who seemed to be...zoning out, for lack of a better word. Just when Dean and Ruby were about to get into it for the billionth time, Anna interrupted, capturing our attention," uh guys? The angels are talking again."

"What are they saying?" I inquired, resting a comforting hand in her back.

"It's weird... Like a recording... a loop. It says, ' _Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or._.." she trails off.

"Or what?" My brother, Dean fretted.

"'... _or we hurl him back to damnation_ '," she finished making Dean visibly pale. My brother went quiet and looked at the floor.

"Anna... do you know of any weapon that works on an angel?" Asked Sam, using his hand for emphasis and speak calmly to her.

"To what? To kill them?" Anna questioned back. Sam shrugged, and she shook her head,"nothing we could get to, not right now."

I sighed," peachy. We can't exactly call Bobby about this either: what's he gonna tell us that we don't already know? Let's get back to the house and think of something, yeah?" I suggested and they nodded hesitantly.

 **-break-**

The sand was still warm beneath my toes from having baked in the sun all day. I looked out across the endless ocean, with high tide lapping at my ankles, and a warm breeze in my face. The backs of dolphins glimmered when they jumped in the moonlight.

I sighed happily then a deep voice captured my attention," this is a beautiful place."

I looked to see the angel, Castiel at my side. Water, too, collected at his black pant legs.

"I'm dreaming aren't I?" I asked him. And he nodded.

"We needed to speak and you're all in hiding," he said.

I looked back across the water, I could feel his eyes burning holes in my skull," you know I've never been to the beach? I don't even know if this is what it looks like...or even _feels_ like. Is it's childish of me to explore my wants in my dreams?" I didn't know why I was being so open with him, but I felt safe in his presence and the setting was calming my every nerve.

He shook his head," that's one of the reasons my father created dreams." I looked at the angel who's eyes met mine. The large body of water before me had nothing on the ocean in his eyes," even angels can dream."

I smiled," it feels strange, but I care about you a lot Cas, more than I, myself, can understand."

The angel seemed to perk up at that as well," I feel the same," he quickly clarified," a-about you I mean-I care a lot about you." He was even more cute nervous. I chuckled and kissed his cheek, making him tense and suck in a little breath.

"So what'd you wanna talk about? I'm sure you didn't come here just to talk about feelings," I smiled at him and flared my toes in the sand. I couldn't stop playing in it plus...I was nervously giddy around him.

His cheeks were flushed," we need to take Anna."

"Aren't you going to kill her?"

"She disobeyed our father, it's the only punishment, and it'd be easier than going 'downstairs', as you call it," he told me, wind gently brushing his hair away from his face.

"True, but she's kind of like you: you both question your orders, and aim to protect humanity," I sighed," I just wouldn't want you to be the one the angels wanted if the situation were flipped."

"You're right," Castiel looked back at the ocean, observing the jumping dolphins," I trust you and your brothers have a plan?"

I smirked,"our lives were founded on contingency plans-we've got this," I nudged him gently with my shoulder.

"Just be safe," he voiced softly and I glanced up at him. The worry in his eye for me was clearly evident. I promised him I would be and he flapped away on those onyx wings, leaving the ocean and me.

 **-break-**

The plan was practically suicidal, but we didn't have a better one. The idea here was to act like we didn't know anything. Ruby would bring Alistair into the barn when the angels came and they could have it out, leaving us time to run away. All of this was Sam's idea, and it sounded fool proof when he said it.

Dean, Anna, Sam, and I waited in the barn for either party to show. So far, no one had. I watched Dean worriedly as he sipped from his flask, the thought of going back to hell terrified him, that I could see.

"Little early for that, isn't it, bub?" I asked.

He shrugged," its 2a.m. somewhere."

Anna picked up on his tone," you okay?"

His eye brows twitched," yeah," he lied," of course."

The doors to the barn suddenly opens with a bang. Gusts of winds came out of nowhere and the doors closed behind the two angels when they entered. We took our spots and Castiel's eyes met mine for a brief second then he greeted Anna," hello Anna. It's good to see you."

Sam feigned his best shock," h-how? How did you find us," the room was silent and Dean looked at the floor. We all had to act our parts of this was going to work," Dean?"

Dean looked at Anna," I'm sorry."

I faked hurt,"why, Dee?"

Anna followed our lead,"Because they gave him a choice. They either kill me... or kill you. I know how their minds work," she spat, but then she did something that wasn't scripted...she went over and pressed her lips softly to Dean's. I looked at the ground, a part of me yearning for love. Sure I dated a couple times, but this girl's still a virgin.

"You did the best you could. I forgive you," I saw Castiel look away then, I silently wondered what's going on inside his head. Anna turned back to the angels," Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready."


	20. Chapter 21

**Heaven and Hell**

 _Part two_

 **A/N** : This is no where near as long as the others

 **-break-**

"I'm sorry," Castiel lamented.

Anna quickly shot him down," No. You're not. Not _really_. You don't know the feeling."

The trench coat angle's lips drew a line," still, we have history...it's just-" she cut him off.

"Orders are orders," just as more was about to be said, Alistair enters with Ruby who is bleeding at the abdomen. At least she had gotten him here.

The new demon pointed at Anna," don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head."

The demons at his side threw Ruby to the ground and, Sam, Dean, and I, along with Anna rushed to the side, letting Uriel and Cas approach Alistair. I wasn't sure I wanted to stick around for this fight, this could get very ugly.

Uriel's voice took on a scary calm," how dare you come into this room, you _pussing_ sore?"

Alistair held his head up high," name calling. That hurt my feelings you sanctimonious, fantastical _prick._ " Alistair's voice sent chills down my spine in a very bad way. Nothing about that monster was nice.

Castiel glared at the demon," turn around and walk away, now". Even I wouldn't want Castiel to give me that look.

Alistair gave a curt nod,"Sure. Just give us the girl. We'll make sure she gets punished- good and proper."

Cas grew quiet for a second, his silence just added to the anger in his voice,"You know who we are and what we will do. I won't say it again. Leave now... or we lay you to waste." Unlike the chill of fear I was given from Alistair, Castiel's threat had a different effect on me in this moment. I blinked it away and tried to look anywhere, but not at him.

Alistair sneered," I think I'll take my chances."

Without warning Uriel lunges for one of the side demons, while Castiel beat Alistair's face in, I snapped my gaze to Cas as he places his palm to the opponents forehead. If something was supposed to happen, it didn't, and a look of fear crossed crossed the angel's features. Alistair saw his chance to over power the angel and took it.

"Sorry kiddo, why don't you run to daddy!" Alistair insulted and a flash of light filled the room, Uriel had exorcised a demon with his bare hands.

I didn't think I've felt fear quite like I did in this next minute. Alistair slammed Castiel to the ground and wrapped his hands around his throat, and began chanting an incantation to exorcise the angel. _My angel_. I didn't even think twice, I searched for a weapon nearest to me and found a crowbar. I stepped foreword and batted the object against Alistair's head, with all the force I had in me.

"Get the hell off of him," I growled, and he looked taken aback for a second before a devilish smirk crossed his lips and his eyes darkened.

"Oh, how could I forget? You're his little bitch," He smirked. Had everyone really heard about the whole soulmate-thing? It dawns on me that being a soulmate woth an angel puts a serious target on my back. I'd have to think on how I felt about this more, but right now, Castiel was alive because I intervened. . .and I'd do it again if the situation ever arose again. With the fast movement of his hand I was pinned to the barn's support beam, with his hands on my throat," I've heard of the pain soulmates feel when their other half dies-quite frankly, I'm honored to get to do this," I clawed at his hands and face, but nothing seemed to remove the hands that closed my airway. I gasped and choked under his calloused hands.

"Shut your eyes!" Anna suddenly shouted,"shut your eyes!" I wish I could, but I couldn't shake this demon. My heart rate increased, I saw black spots start to cloud my vision. Alistair's devilish yellow eyes peering into my soul would be the last thing I ever see, until...Alistair was ripped off of me and thrown into the light accumulating around Anna. I fell into the chest of someone. From I tingles I feel on my skin, I know who held me. A flash of pure white light encompassed the room, as well as a gust of wind blew over all of us.

I was rubbing my throats and coughing , "It's okay, you're okay," I heard whispered to me. When I looked back up the light was gone and I met Castiel's eyes, our faces only centimeters apart.

"Thanks, Cas," my voice croaked. He nodded with a blush, and stood up, giving me a hand too. Sam wrapped an arm around my shoulder, I was still on shaky legs.

"Well, what are you guys waiting for? Go get Anna. Unless, of course, you're scared?" Dean stood in front of Sam and I.

"This isn't over," Uriel growled.

"Oh it looks over to me, junkless." Castiel made a final glance at Dean and I before vanishing.

I sighed and groaned, my hand still covering my throat.

"You okay, Juls?" Asked Sam looking me over.

"No. . ," I croaked, my throat is feeling a lot like fire. I removed my hand when Dean decided to join us. My throat was slowly showing traces of purple bruises and the red irritated print of a hand.

Dean clenched his jaw and touched a gentle thumb to my neck," next time I see that demon fucker, I'm gonna kill 'em."

 **-break-**

I sat on the hood of the impala with Sam. Dean was leaning on the side to my right with a beer in his hand. Sam had a beer in his own and, whilst I carefully sipped a very cold, vanilla milkshake that soothed my throat.

Dean started talking about Alistair and the conversation he had with him, when we first met him, in the church.

"It wasn't four months you know," he said looking down, after a moment.

"What?" Wondered Sam.

Dean tilted his head, "It was four months up here, but down there... I don't know," I could hear the emotion Dean was keeping down in his voice," Time is different. It was more like forty-years." I looked at Sam and we both mirrored worried looks.

"Oh, my God," I whispered. He was in hell for _forty_ years...it almost seems unfathomable.

Dean continued and with each word, his voice cracked more until he broke into tears,"They, uh... They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you... Until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly... I would be whole again. . . like magic... just so they could start in all over," my lip quivered and I didn't need to look at Sam to know he was trying not to cry as well," And Alistair... at the end of every day... every _one_... he would come over. And he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack... if I put souls on... if _I_ started the torturing. And every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For thirty-years, I told him," he chucked on sob,"But then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy, Jul. I _couldn't_. And I got off that rack," I sniffled and felt tears Travel down my cheeks. My brother had to go through this torment, this literal hell," God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them _apart_ ," dean looked out across the landscape, not wanting to look at us.

"I lost count of how many souls," he paused and sobbed again,"The - the things that _I did_ to them," I saw him shake his head. I couldn't take it anymore I set the milkshake in the hood and went around to my brother, I took the beer from his right-hand and set it on the hood as well. I wrapped my arms around his mid section and cuddled to his chest, hoping to provide my hurting brother some comfort.

He held me back tightly and cupped the back of my head with his hand. I felt his nose sniffle on the top of my head while also feeling him shake beneath me, silent sobs racking his body.

"It's okay bubby," I tried to comfort from my own tears. Bubby was always a term used in more, _meaningful_ moments in my life. I've only used it twice before: when Sam died and when I was shot in the back and required hospitalization, after nearly dying.

Sam tried to comfort our brother as well,"Dean... Dean, look, you held out for thirty-years. That's longer than anyone would have."

Dee kept my head to his chest and he looked up, replying to Sam," How I feel... This... _inside_ me... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing." I held on impossibly tighter as new tears fell down his cheeks. If I could make his pain go away I'd do anything it took. I wanted my brother happy again.


	21. Chapter 22

**Sex and Violence**

(contains an optional part two)

 **WARNING** : _this fic is rated M for a reason. Attempted rape themes lie ahead._

 ** _-break-_**

I heard Sam's muffled voice waking up Dean. I was not wanting to get up, and I knew I was next on the "wake-up list", so I rolled over and secured the blanket over my head. Sure enough, Sam's voice rang in my ear,"hey-" he shook my shoulders gently and I groaned," time to get up, kiddo," I felt a kiss placed to my head through the material of the blanket.

I huffed and tugged the cover away from my face, "I'm not a kid, Sammy," I tried to be grumpy.

He chuckled and sat on the other side of the bed," oh, you're not?" I sat up and glared at him,"who still likes me to bring them home ice cream?"

I gaped at him. This is what I wake up to?"That's not fair: Dean also likes getting ice cream, and you know I like a little luxury."

Dean spoke up now and rubbed his eyes," You're up early. What are you doing?" Come to think of it, Sam was up earlier than he normally was.

"Nothing," My brother dismissed," I was in the can." He had a bit of a smile, but I saw somewhat through it. He might be lying. . . _again_.

"Yeah?" Questioned my oldest brother, back.

"Yeah, want me to draw you a picture?" Sam smarted.

"Okay, gross," I got up and ventured to the bathroom. When I came back they were discussing an odd case we were about to embark on. Apparently, a man beat his wife to death, they were happily married, and he's not the first case, there's three more just like it, in the same area.

"Guess we'd better have a look then, huh boys?" I asked with my arms crossed. They nodded in agreement and started packing up.

 **-break-**

We'd once again dressed in our FBI attire and sat in the interrogation room with the man who killed his wife," Seriously, why does the PD keep sending you guys? I already said I don't want a lawyer," he said.

Dean scoffed,"Yeah, they're lining up the firing squad."

The man in cuffs shook his head," I'm pleading guilty." It struck me as odd that this man has such a clear view of this situation. He's remaining level headed and calm, which is something we rarely see in our line of work.

The boys weren't getting anything from him, I figure my gentleness can coax some answers," Mr. Bensen, please, we just want to understand what happened, that's all."

Mr. Bensen sighed after a moment in deep thought," what happened was, I killed my _wife_. You wanna know why? Because she made plans without me." I blinked, trying not to break character. He seriously killed his wife because of that? "And I know exactly what I was doing when I did it. I was crystal clear." Okay, that rules out possession or a witch.

"Then why'd you do it?" asked Dean.

Mr. Bensen looked close to breaking down," I don't know. I Loved her. We were _happy_."

Suddenly Dean opened up his suit case and pulled out a paper with the list of Mr. Bensen's financial records. If he really loved his wife, for some reason he racked up nine-grand pretty quick.

"Where'd you get that?" Mr. Bensen worried.

Dean shrugged slightly," Doesn't matter, we have it. See certain, charges, the one you don't want the missus to know. . . they show up under shady names like 'M & C Entertainment'." From Mr. Bensen's discomfort, we had him right where we wanted him. He quickly spilled that he'd met a girl at a strip club named Jasmine. She had told him that the only way they could be together was if his wife was out of the picture. I doubted someone would fall this hard for someone they just met, I mean, killing for someone this quickly? There's was something unnatural about this for sure.

 **-break-**

Dean and I entered the hospital lobby from getting more information from Mr. Bensen's records. We'd found that he most likely met Jasmine at a strip club called 'The Honey Wagon'. As we entered the lobby we spotted Sam in an office with a brunette lady. She's pretty I'll give her that.

"What'd we miss?" I smiled as we entered the room. I shook hands with the doctor when Sam introduced us.

"These are my partners, Bennett and Murdoch," he introduced. We all shook hands and Dean instantly put on his flirt and asked the woman to called him Dean. I rolled my eyes discretely. The woman was very quick to turn her attention back to Sam and they conversed about a brain chemical called Oxytocin. She said that she had no idea why the "love chemical" would be released at the time of the vics' deaths. We stood and said our goodbyes, Dean and I leaving first, but Sam's tip for hangovers to the pretty doctor did not go unheard by either of us.

"Dude, you totally cock-blocked me,"Dean whispered, making Sam smirk and carry on walking. I didn't really understand their need or want for sex, I was a proud virgin. I wanted to wait for the right guy instead of wast my self-respect on some stranger. We exited the hospital whilst I informed Sam of the Honey Wagon Strip Club.

We got to the impala while we briefed," it sure seems like they're under some sort of love spell," Sam theorized.

"Sure seems that way," Dee nodded.

Sam's brow furrowed at him, and I shared his feeling- our oldest brother sounded unusually chipper," which caused them to be totally psychotic."

"Absolutely," Dean smiled.

Sam and I shared a look before I spoke," you seem pretty cheery about this, Dee."

Dean met my eyes with repressed excitement in his own," strippers, Juls, and Sammy. _Strippers_ ," his smile grew," we're on an actual case involving strippers," he looked to the skies before opening the driver door," finally."

I groaned and hopped into the back. I hated bars, strip clubs might as well count. I haven't gone to one yet where a man hasn't tried to hit on me and make propositions," I hate bars," I mumbled to myself.

"We've always got your back, 'lil sis," Sam smiled at me through the rear view mirror. At least there was that.

 **-break-**

I walked around with Sam at the Honey Wagon to see if we could find our girls. So far, this place was a bust, not only could we not find them, but the managers weren't talking. Eventually Sam and I ventured outside while he called Bobby, putting him on speaker.

"A siren," I stated when the call ended. Sam nodded, putting a hand on my back and leading me back to the noisy club.

"Better tell Dean about this. Maybe he found something," he said.

"C'mon, it's kinda cool right? Badass beauties dragging men to their deaths with a single song? Where do I sign up?" I chuckled and Sam gently patted my back.

"Calm down there, Ariel."

"Hey, I love that movie!" I defended," It's only a shame there's nothing sweet about mermaids."

We had to talk over the music to relay our information to Dean. Sirens could take on any form that a person deemed as perfect, putting them easily under their spell, so much so, that they would kill for them. Bobby was working on how to kill it, but in the mean time, it could be anywhere, looking like anybody.

 **-break-**

I stared at Dean's contemplating face as he stared at Sam's phone in the table. Once Sam was away to investigate a new dead body, Dean had spilled to me that Sam was keeping- yet another secret. Supposedly, he has been calling Ruby, one of us just needed to check the number to seal our suspicions.

"Here, how about you call the number and if anyone picks up, stay quiet and then hang up. You could hear who's on the other end without them knowing who _you_ are," I suggested. My brother huffed and admitted that I was right and he did so. From the look on his face the voice on the other end must've been Ruby. He hung up quickly. Damn it! Just when I'd hoped he'd stopped fooling with her.

I played it off just as Sam walked through the door," hey, bub. Find anything?" I greeted innocently.

He nodded and set some of his stuff down," Lenny Bristol was definitely another siren vic." He informs us that Lenny had brought home a stripper named Belle. Once they did the do, Lenny was put under her spell and he ganked his own mother. It had to be women who were important to the men, killing the mother just broke our pattern.

Sam's phone on the table started to ring. Me, being the lovely sister I am, snatched the phone before Sam or Dean could, and answered it. Having read the collar ID I knew who I was speaking with.

"Hey Bobs, this is Jul," I twirled a ringlet of my hair around a finger. Sam and Dean's faces looked annoyed, especially Sam.

"Hey darlin'. How's the hunt? Did you find the girl?" Bobby asked sounding cheery from hearing me and not one of the boys.

I sighed," unfortunately no. And, uh, it doesn't seem like she's slowing down any. What about you? You got anything?"

The boys watched me eagerly as Bobby spoke through the device,"Well, some lore from a dusty Greek poem. Shockingly, it's a little vague."

I chuckled," here," I pulled the phone away from me and tapped the speaker button and turned it up," you're on speaker, fire away, Bobs."

Bobby went on to explain that sirens can be killed with a bronze knife, dipped in the blood of a sailor, who is currently under the influence of her song. Lovely. Where the hell are we gonna get that?

"She has to infect them some way, right?" Sam started," so like what? Think she's doing it through, like...sex?"

Bobby huffed on the other end," maybe."

"Supernatural STD," Dean concluded nodding his head to himself. I was surprised with that phrase. I caught his gaze and nodded as well, he gave a little shrug.

"So our siren get a dose of her own medicine and..." I trailed off, just reiterating.

"-it kills her," Sam finished.

I thought for a moment," well we can't exactly get blood from the vics now, they're not under her spell anymore. Where are we gonna get blood like that?"

"I think I might have an idea," Sam stated. Bobby wished us the best before hanging up, leaving us three siblings to glance at each other. Time to carry on to the next ordeal.

Sammy's idea for getting the siren influenced blood, seemed fool-proof: we just walk back into the hospital and retrieve it, but of course, when have any of our ideas gone to plan? Just as we were speaking with Dr. Roberts a man came up, also dressed in a suit, requesting to see our badges, and speak with our administrator. Needless to say we passed his little FBI credibility test.

Agent Nick Munroe stood before us and looked between us three," I'm sorry, guys."

Dean tried to be more authoritative," just don't let it happen again."

"So where are you guys at with this?" Asked the agent.

"Where are _you_ at with this?" Dean questioned back. I squinted a bit, please don't tell me he's about to flirt again.

Nick's eyes somehow always found their way back to Dean's," well, I was just about to run the perps' bloodwork." Oh so now he just so happens to know the blood of the victims are involved.

I defended our case," we've already checked it, agent Munroe. It was a dead end." Nick's gaze met my indifferent one. I saw his eyes lightly squint as if he was trying to figure me out. My brows knitted at his behavior that made me uncomfortable.

Just as quickly as it had come it passed and the discussion moved to the Honey Wagon. This agent had also picked up on the location of the females," what do you say we go over there and check it out?"

Both Dean and I blinked in shock. _This wasn't a fucking play date! This is a very serious family business we have here, we don't take in just anybody._

Dean gestured with his finger between Sam and I, and himself," well here's the thing, uh, Nick...these two and I, we're kind of lone wolves, so-" Sam cut him off.

"You know what, that sounds like an excellent idea," both Dean and I gaped at Sam," Just... just give me a second with my partners and we'll, uh...one sec," and he pulled us away from agent Nick Munroe. We huddle close so no one could overhear.

"Dudes, you gotta stay with him," Sam instructed casually.

"What?" Dean was probably hoping he heard wrong like I was.

"You two have to keep him out of the way,"

"Why us?" I whined," I get that he's got a bit of a thing for Dee, but-" I didn't miss Dean's nudge on my arm,"-what will you be doing?"

"I've gotta get the blood samples," Sammy remarked. I wasn't pleased with this. With the way this was going, Dean and Nick would most likely get distracted by each other, thus, I'd have to fend for myself in a sea of horny older men. Sam also seemed like he had the hots for the doctor and I'm the third wheel times two!

"Just keep him distracted, Dean," instructed my tallest brother," just focus on the naked girls, you'll forget he's even there."

The shorter brother huffed, and stood straightener," fine. But I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for the girls."

Before I knew it, I was sitting in the back seat of the Impala watching my brother and this other agent hit it off like old friends. It was startling how well they clicked. Looking back, I wish I had said something earlier, the signs of the siren were working their way through.

 **-break-**

"Hey Juls, we're gonna go have a seat and look around," Dean told me. I looked at him with a twinge of fear in my eye. _I don't want to walk around this strip club by myself!_ And he knows I have this anxiety about these sort of places. He _never_ forgets that.

"Okay," I muttered weakly. How hard could it be? I've fucking killed beings, sometimes people who were under possession. _This shouldn't be that hard._ _I can do this_ , but I'm also not too happy with agent Munroe stealing my brother- he's got Dee's brain in the clouds.

I stood on the other side of the club, my brother sitting happily at a table with the agent in my line-of-sight. They were laughing and smiling, hardly even looking for the siren. I sighed to myself.

A man's voice captured my attention," hey, pretty-thing. What are you doing over here by yourself?"

 _Shit_. I swallowed hard and met the stranger's eyes. His eyes were dark, not in a color sense, but in his intentions. He held brown hair on his head and a goatee to match," please leave me alone. I don't want any trouble."

He chuckled," no trouble at all princess," I wish he'd stop calling me nicknames," I'll leave. Can I at least get a hug goodbye?" He asked loudly. There were a few people watching me and I felt my cheeks blush in embarrassment. I didn't want to be rude to this man by telling him 'no', and I didn't want these people to think I was heartless. All of my options were uncomfortable for me.

I started to shake my head," n-no. I don't know you. I jus-" I was stopped when I felt him wrap his arms around me and hold me tight. This wasn't even a normal hug. He was gripping me so tight, I almost couldn't breath," let go of me!" I breathed out.

"All in good time, sweetcheeks. You're just playing hard-to-get, I know how you women work. Come, I'll help you make your mind," he grumbled in my ear. A hand was placed over my mouth and he started scooting us towards the exit. I tried to squeal and scream, but I couldn't. I looked with wide eyes back at Dean's table, he was still laughing and having a good time with Nick. I felt tears prick at my eyes as my heart rate elevated. I tried grabbing onto corners and tables, but the strange man just pulled my arms and legs back. I tried biting his hand and licking it, just to get it off my mouth, but I think it just turned him on. He had more muscle and build than I did, and I felt powerless to stop this.

Once outside he slammed me into the wall of the building, causing a throb to course on the back of my head, and pinned my arms down. He used his waist and legs to secure me in place. I was trapped.

"Get off of me!" I cried and tried to jerk away. He slopped wet kisses over my neck that reeked of alcohol.

"Why would I do that? I'm not finished. Besides, you need to be rethinking about dating me," his voice vibrated through my neck. _Dating him? I would never date anyone who has the audacity to be this type of man._ It's become clear to me that he's wanting to get his fuck on with me. My V-card was supposed to be saved for someone special, not this!

"No, I will _never_ date you. Get the hell away from me!" I seethed through my tears. Disgust for this man had my stomach churning.

"Shut up," he ordered before slamming his lips into mine. I clenched my lips closed and my teeth when he tried to enter my mouth. I pushed him with all the force I had but it didn't do anything. I loosened up enough so that I put his bottom lip between my teeth and bit down, hard. He pulled away looking pissed and holding his bleeding lip.

"You bitch! You bit me!"

Well duh, asshat," I told you to leave me alone." I started to turn back to the club, but a force struck me upside the head and I fell to the ground, my face had scraping against the brick wall. My vision went black for a second. I looked at who'd just punched me and saw the man standing there with his fist raised. Something about this picture snapped something inside of me. I was brought back to the time my ex had beat me- when I had told him 'no'. I scooted back and felt fresh tears come forward. I felt my breathing quicken as a panic attack set in.

"Get away from me. Get away," I hiccuped,"get away." I rocked myself on the floor. All I saw now was the image of my ex standing where he stood, with his fist raised and coming at me. I was frozen by fear of another time, scarred forever by one man.

The man with a bloody lip laughed out loud," you're pathetic, you know that sweet cheeks? That'll make what I'm about to do so much more easy." He started coming at me once more and I sobbed, weakly repeating for this stranger to go away. I wanted Dean to come help me, I wanted Sammy...I wanted _Cas_.

Just as he hovered over me, with his hand ripping at the seams of my shirt, he was pushed away and held onto the wall by some unseen force. I snapped my head to see who would be causing such a thing, and to my sweet relief, there was Castiel, but he didn't look happy. In fact, that might've been the most upset I've ever seen him.

"She told you to leave. her. alone," he growled. His wings were spread out far above his head, threateningly. It's a shame the man couldn't see it, they were magnificent.

"I didn't touch her, man! She came at me!" The stranger tried to shift blamed making me gape. I'd die before I lowered myself to a man like him.

"I highly doubt that. You're insinuating that she gave the bruises and scrapes on her face to herself?" Cas wasn't having any of it.

The man went quiet and squirmed on the wall. Under Castiel's cold gaze he broke," she deserved it man! Don't you know how it feels not to have fucked in a while? The girl had what was coming to her. Don't waste your time on her, pal, she's pathetic-you wouldn't _want_ that one," His jaw formed a hard line. The man's words hooked at me deeply. I know I shouldn't take words to heart, but I can't help that they hurt. I hiccuped bit more.

Suddenly Castiel was in front of the man and pounding his face into mush. What was more terrifying was: I didn't have it in me to tell him to stop," if you ever come near her again, I _will_ find you!" Castiel roared through the alleyway and he threw another punch, his wings flared impossibly more, then held him by his collar. Castiel spoke soft and deadly," and believe me: there is no where you can hide from me. Not another state, not around country, not even other planets."

"What are you?" The man sputtered, face bloody and ruined.

Castiel dropped him and looked unto him like trash," I'm an angel of the Lord." Castiel came over to me then and helped me up. His brows softened when he met my eyes.

Relieved to see him I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him to me. I felt him slowly put his arms around me as well and then. . .his wings did the same," thank you, Cas." I pulled back and looked at him. His softer-than-silk wings stayed around me in the cold night while we spoke.

"You're welcome, Julie. I knew to come when I heard you thinking of me," he stared simply.

"You can hear my thoughts?" I wondered. That was pretty cool I supposed, I just hope he didn't hear the... _inappropriate_ ones.

He nodded and tucked some bangs behind me ear, making tingles dance on my skin," only when they pertain to me, yes. Everyone's thoughts, when they pray to me, have the same volume, but yours...yours are louder- more clear to me."

I nodded, needing to ask," so you've heard me uh..." I recalled all the times I thought he was a very attractive man.

A smile filled his face, it was beautiful," if you mean how you have just found my smile very pleasing, and when you've thought of me or looked at me, you find me attractive, then yes."

I blushed and looked to the floor. Great,"sorry," I mumbled. Now I'm gonna have to watch what I think. I felt his warm fingers tilt my chin back up, my eyes locked with his blue orbs.

"No need to apologize, I've found myself thinking the same thoughts of you," he gently told me. I blushed even more and gave a nervous chuckle. The unconscious man by the wall was the farthest thing from my mind," for example, I find you adorable when your face becomes flushed like this-" he used a gentle finger to trail my red-hot cheek.

"Watch it, angel, I'm on a case," I told him. He chuckled lightly and when his hand cupped my bruising cheek I felt warmth there and saw light flash from the corner of my vision. The sensation of healing sort of tickled, I didn't mind it at all.

He removed his hand, much to me displeasure. The back of his pointer finger ever so lightly grazed my cheek...I wanted more of that gentleness," what's the case?" He asked.

"We're hunting a siren and we have no idea who it could be. Wanna lend a hand?" I questioned, still standing close to him. Castiel said he would be happy to help so I took him by the hand, carefully ducking under his wings, and leading him into the building. I pointed at Dean and the other agent who were supposed to be working, but still laughed and downed some shots.

"Who's the other man with him?" The angel wondered.

"That's agent Nick Munroe, said he would help us on this case. Kind of an odd guy, seemed like he popped up out of no where. Why?" I informed Castiel.

The angel rubbed a thumb over my knuckles," keep an eye on him, I can't tell exactly, but I sense he's more than human." I nodded in understanding. _What if Nick was our siren? Nah he couldn't be, could he?_ I thought they were only taking the form of women. Castiel looked back to me," you should know that a siren's display will not work on you."

"Why not?" I asked. This could definitely help.

"Soulmates who've found each other have been known not to show attraction for anyone other than their mate."

"Oh," my mouth made an 'o'. If Nick was our siren and his mojo didn't work on me, could that have been why he looked at me funny, at the hospital?

He smoothed a thumb over my knuckles once more, making a fuzzy feeling envelope my chest,"will you be alright?"

I nodded and smirked," I should be, I'm only going over to their table. I think I'll stay there too," I did not want a repeat of the alleyway-man.

"If you ever need me, pray, and I'll be there," he gave a tiny smile and his feathers ruffled contently.

"Deal," I told him and then someone walked in between us, and then it was as if he was never there to be begin with.

 **-break-**

 **A/N** : the next chapter is an option to read. It's just the rest of this episode, but you could stop reading here and be fine.


	22. Chapter 23

**Sex and Violence**

 _(optional part two)_

I went over to Dean's table and pulled up a chair. My mind was full of things that I wanted to tell my brother of what had almost happened to me, but he was too wrapped around Nick's finger at the moment.

I sat down and Dean seemed to notice me for the first time," hey, Julie-bird. Find anything?" Of course that's the first thing he says to me, there's no way he could've known I was almost raped. The case comes first.

I blinked for a second, trying to hide my hurt and fight the lump in my throat. Dean was the parental figure in my life and I wanted to collapsed and tell how how scared I had been, but it doesn't matter anymore; Cas had helped me," maybe," was all I said. I heeded Castiel's words about the agent at the table.

"What about you guys? You look like you're working hard," I wondered with sarcasm lacing my voice as I glanced at the six empty shot glasses.

Agent Munroe smirked," Dean thinks we have a lead with this purple flower I found at the crime scene. Turns out this petal pops up at each of the sites."

I nodded," well that sounds lovely. What do you say we start first thing tomorrow?" I asked getting up, ready to leave. I'd had enough today, and I just wanted a hot bath and long-deep-sleep.

"I second that," Dean agreed and stood up as well.

"And Munroe," I started coldly," get your own car." We parted ways and I was back in my rightful seat beside Dean in the impala.

I sat in silence fiddling gently with the purple petal. The petal had come from a hyacinth, they only grow in tropical places. Next to animals, flowers were my specialty, and hyacinths have been around for ages.

Dean hadn't even started the car yet, he looked over at me, finally hearing me in my silence," you okay, princess?" I looked up at him and searched his eyes. He was no longer as happy-go-lucky as he was with Nick, he was Dean again, and that was a Dean I could talk to.

I fought the lump in my throat and looked down at my thumb that stroked the petals," while you were uh. . .having _fun_ with your new friend. . .a m-man," I tried to keep my voice level," a-a man tried to...uh." I couldn't put it into words as the more I thought about the more my heart rate picked up and voice broke.

"Did he _hurt_ you?" Dean asked through his teeth. I still couldn't look at him, hurt he was blinded by his new flirt to not know that I was miserable and scared. I felt a hot tear run down my cheek, then I nodded.

"Where is he?" He growled, I could tell he was trying to be soft, but the big brother and father in him wasn't having it.

I hiccuped," d-don't worry about it Dee, Cas came and nearly beat him to death for you." I let my watery eyes meet his enraged ones. His features softened when he took me in.

"Cas saved you?" He asked.

I nodded. I felt so childish for crying, but Dee always tells me that it's okay to cry...I've just been conditioned by my father that it's a sign of weakness," a-a-and afterwards he healed me. I'm o-okay, Dean."

I heard him sigh and he pulled me close to his chest, placing his cheek to the crown of my head," no you're not, Jul. I'm sorry I wasn't there. It won't happen again, princess," he swayed with me gently and rubbed my back, I clung to him for safety, leaving his suit tear-stained," I don't know what came over me, I should never put you below someone I just met, I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you." He kissed my head and pulled back to look me in the face. He wiped my tears," guess I've got to thank the angel now, huh?"

The faintest smile tried to reveal itself on my lips. The thought of Castiel made my insides feel fuzzy once more," you better, Dee."

My brother gestures to the flower I am holding," what can you tell me about that petal, princess?" He knew talking about things I liked, brightened me up.

I sniffled, and cleared my throat," it's a Hyacinth. They grow in tropical places like the Mediterranean, these plants have kinda been here since before the dinosaurs." I told him.

At my words Dean's eyes searched the car, but it was like he was connecting dots in his head," you think these could be siren related?"

"Hell, it could even be related to their origin. Now that I think about it, according to siren lore, the birth place of the siren was in the Mediterranean region," I explained, connecting my own dots.

Dean quickly turned on the impala and started driving," call Sam, I think I know who the siren is."

I dialed Sam's number," who?"

"The Doctor that Sam has the hots for, she has the same flower sitting behind her desk," he answered. My eyes went wide, wasn't Sam alone with her to get the blood samples?

After trying three times, I looked at Dean," Sam's not answering."

Dean bit his lip in frustration. After ten minutes Dee pulled out his own phone and called Sam.

My other brother must've picked up," Sam! Where the hell have you been?"

There was a beat, then Dean spoke again," oh it's Cara now?" _First name basis with the Doctor now? Great_ ," and your not picking up your phone when Julie calls you?"

"Yeah, I bet!" Dean exclaimed loudly. Another beat," Nick found flower petals at the crime scenes. Hyacinths."

Dean continued his one-sided conversation," Hyacinths? Mediterranean. From the island where the whole fuckin' siren myth started in the first place!"

Dean sighed, not getting anywhere with our brother," Sam! Cara had _hyacinth_ flowers!"

"Well, I did a little checking up on her while you were away, and she's only been in town for two months!" More silence from Dean,"And she has an ex-husband. A _dead_ ex-husband, Carl Roberts. Dropped like a stone, no warning. Supposedly a heart attack."

"You're kidding me," Dean exasperated and looked at me in annoyance. Why was Sam being so defensive about this? _Unless..._ Dean was also silent for a second.

"Did...did you _sleep_ with her?" Dean wondered. Dean's next feature conveyed shock and then anger," Holy shit. You did. Middle of Basic Instinct and you bang Sharon Stone? Sam, you could be under her spell right now!" Oh no, now it was starting to make sense. The siren's plan is turning Sam against us.

"Unbelievable man, I just don't get it."

"Nothing."

"No, It's just...first it's Madison, and then Ruby, and now Cara. It's like... what is with you and banging monsters?" Dean raged. I nudged him with my arm. _Okay, Sam had a bit of a fetish, but what's that make me if I've got some feelings for the angel?_ I thought. Just as that thought came my cheeks blushed. _I have feelings for Cas. Fuck! No, stop thinking about him, he'll hear you!_ I did my best to clear my mind, hoping it worked.

"I'll bet you do."

"No, because this could be the siren talking."

"No." Dean flatly said.

"I wish I weren't. I gotta handle this, Sam. Julie and I can take this one," then he hung up.

"I wish you two would stop fighting for once," I looked at him sadly. He met my eyes and softened a bit.

"Sorry, Jul, kid gets on my nerves. Sam's banged the siren. We've got to finish this case, but we'll need help," Dean told me as he dialed a new number.

"Oh no, please Dee, don't call him! We can handle this together," I voiced my thoughts, but he was already speaking with agent Munroe on the other side. I sighed and bit my lip in annoyance. I didn't want to hear their conversation. So I put my head phones in and looked out the window.

Before I knew it we were back at the strip club. Dean parked and cut the engine he sat there for a minute, just looking around.

"What are we doing here?" I asked, still a little on edge still from the alleyway-man.

Dean spotted something then looked to me," will you be okay here, by yourself?"

My brows knitted. What was it with him today? _Did me telling him about almost getting raped go in one ear and out the other?_ _What ever happened to not putting me below someone he just met?_ " Well I'm not exactly comfortable, Dee," I confessed starting to get upset with him.

He gave a curt nod," lock the doors and you'll be okay, princess," he kissed my temple and went to get out of the car. He tossed me the keys as I gaped at him.

"Wait-Dee-where are you-," but the driver's door slammed shut, leaving me to myself. I watched in hurt as he walked to a car and got in. I should've know that it was Nick Munroe's car. I sighed and locked the doors as I was told.

For the next ten minutes I sat there watching people enter the club and people exit, drunk off their ass. I looked back over to the car Dean was in and we made eye contact. He was smiling that was good, so was Nick as they passed a flask.

I seethed silently while I observed the other agent. _Nick Munroe. I didn't know much about him, but what did I know? He popped out of no where, claiming to be FBI, but was he? I mean we cosplay FBI for work, could he be doing the same? The more I thought about Nick the more mysterious he became. He just so happened to know the Vic's were connected through the strip club, he just so happened to have the flower where siren came from that appeared at all of the crime scenes, and not to mention the blood work. I nibbled my lip in thought. The killings took place once every night, but now it just suddenly stops when Nick shows up, when he spends time with Dean?_ I looked back at the agents vehicle and saw Dean looking at me with set eyes. He looked determined, scary even, he wasn't the Dean I remembered again. My heart rate picked up as another thought occurred to me: _Cas had said Munroe wasn't entirely human._ Suddenly Nick's car was racing down the road, tires screaming in protest.

I blinked and quickly started the impala, Dean would kill me if he ever saw me drive his baby. I followed the car as best I could and pulled out my phone calling Bobby.

"Hey Darlin'. How's t-" I cut him off.

"The siren isn't the doctor, it's the agent Nick Munroe and he's got Dean!" I exclaimed.

"Calm down, girl, I'm almost in your town. What's the motel you're staying at?" He asked worriedly.

"The Rosebud, please hurry Bobby," I voiced. He told me to be careful and we hung up. I followed them all the way to the motel and met Sam outside who was just about to walk in. I ran to him and he hugged me instantly.

"What's wrong, Jul?" He asked taking in my panic.

"The siren is the agent, Nick Munroe and he's got Dean under his spell. I think it's passed through saliva," I breathed out. At that Sam took my hand and entered the motel room.

Nick was already sitting on one of the beds," Nick?" Sam played naive," what are you doing here?"

I jumped when Dean came out of no where and held a knife to Sam's throat. The look in my brother's eye was murder.

"Dee, let him go, he's our brother!" I tried to stop him. All he did was blink a bit and glance at me, almost hearing me.

"Julie, sweetie, go wait over there," Nick sweetly instructed. When I didn't move he flung me to the wall by some force I couldn't see," should've listened to me the first time, _bitch_."

Sam growled," hey! You want to pick on someone, you pick on me. You make one butt-ugly stripper, you know that?

Nick smiled," well maybe, but I got what I wanted. I got Dean. It would've been Julie, but for some reason my _charm_ doesn't affect her."

I shrugged," what can I say? I'm special." I felt the force that held me, tighten making me gasp.

Sam tried to level with our brother, but it's like he didn't hear it. To lash back at Sam, Nick made Dean cut Sammy's throat just slightly. I squirmed and wiggled trying to get free. _Bobby had said he was almost here, where is he?!_

Sam and the siren went back and forth," Dean's all mine."

"You poisoned him."

"No. I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him, that he could trust. And now he loves me. He'd do anything for me. And I gotta tell you, Sam, that kind of devotion? I mean, watching someone kill for you? It's the best feeling in the world," Munroe enthused.

Sam rolled his eyes,"I'll tell you what. I have fought some nasty sons of bitches, but you are one needy pathetic loser."

"Sam, don't taunt him," I tried to tell him. The last thing I wanted was my other brother under his spell and my two brothers at each other's throats. As fate would have it, that's _exactly_ what went wrong. Like a snake spitting venom, Sam was the next victim. It was like they were two different people as my brothers argumented while Munroe sat back and watched.

"The Sam I knew, he's gone," Dean spat.

"Is that so?" Countered Sam.

"And it's not the demon blood or the psychic crap. It's the little stuff. The lies. The secrets."

"Oh yeah? What secrets?" Sam was defending himself once more.

"The phone calls to Ruby for one," Dean replied flatly," You're hiding things from me. From _Julie_. What else aren't you telling us?" I did not want to be dragged into this.

"Leave me out of this, boys!" I called, but was ignored.

"None of your business," Sam smirked evilly.

"See what I mean? We used to be in this together. We used to have each other's backs!" Dean roared making me flinch.

Sam's next counter hurt even me," Ok, fine. You know why I didn't tell you about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean and Julie. That's another thing: Julie's like having a fucking child around, we always have to look after her and baby her. Dad was right you know? We should've been harder on her. You're both holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you two are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near. I don't need either of you." My lip quivered. I didn't even want to look at Sam anymore.

"That's a load of shit," my oldest brother spoke through clenched teeth.

"You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in hell. Boo hoo," Sam's word made my eyes go wide, how could he say something that hurtful? The next moment was a blur. Dean lunged for Sam and they started trading punches. Both of my brothers under the inclination that only one would be walking away from this.

They crashed through the door, not letting me see them anymore. The siren followed them out as I struggled to get free. The fighting continued for another minute then I heard the silence then and I was dropped from the wall. I ran out to see the siren dead, Bobby holding a bloody bronze knife, and my brothers looking put out. I didn't want to be around either Sam or Dean so I marched up to Bobby and held him tight.

At least the siren was dead, but could the boys take back what they said?

 **-break-**

Bobby spoke with the boys about getting over the siren. The conversation was mostly between them and I tried to melt into the background, both of my brothers had hurt me. I gave Bobby a goodbye as best as I could, leaving me alone with my brothers.

I peeked a glance at them, they stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say to the other. I shook my head at them and chugged the rest of my soda, tossing the bottle, making the glass shatter everywhere.

"You okay, Julie-bird?" Sam wondered gently. I knew he was trying to flow into an apology, but I wasn't ready for it.

"Peachy," I didn't meet his eyes.

Suddenly as I backed up, my back collided with something something. I gasped and looked behind me, Castiel stood there, looking at me in concern.

"Cas," I greeted in a whisper. I prayed he didn't hear me about my feelings. The angel's lips twitched, making me think other wise.

"How are you feeling?" He questioned innocently. My stomach warmed, he was worried about me?

I was quiet, I was not 'peachy'. I looked back to my brothers, Sam stared in confusion," I've felt better."

"What should I do? Would you like me to heal you again?" The angel shot at me with care in his voice.

I shook my head, _I don't think physical healing would work; try mental healing_ , but Sam interrupted before I could speak," heal her? Why would she need healing?" To him, I had come out of the siren business physically unscathed.

"It's nothing," I snapped at him, my eyes to the floor. One of the angel's wings wrapped around my back.

"They're your brothers, Julie, they should know," Castiel suggested. I looked into his eyes, trying to find my courage in them.

"Dean already knows," I looked at my brother in question," I don't wanna talk about it, but he can tell you, Sam." And he did. Sam's lips formed a hard line at what he learned had almost happened to his little sister. He swallowed some soda before chucking it like I had. I was very torn up from the alleyway-man, and from my brothers hurting me like they had. They had a shit ton of making up to do, and I told them that.

"Well," Dean started," I should thank you Cas," he told my angel," you saved our sister."

Castiel nodded," I would never let anyone hurt her, whilst I can help it." I blushed as well as felt his wing tighten a bit. Sam told the angel his own thank you. When Castiel left once again, my brother, Sam, pulled me to him and hugged me. He cupped the back of my head and placed kisses on the top of it, whispering apologizes.

These two had some making up to do, but they're the only family I have, my love for them is still unconditional.


	23. Chapter 24

**On the Head of A Pin**

 **A/N** : this is about 4,000 words, and it's the perfect length to capture everything I need to get into a chapter. Look forward to more chapters about this length!

 **BEWARE**! I was not prepared for how the scene played out, but fluff, and soulmate acceptance.

I was passed out in the back of the impala when we pulled up to our motel for the next couple days. I was awoken to the door opening and Dean gently rubbing my shoulder," c'mon sweetheart, we just gotta get the keys to the room and then you can conk out." I nodded and used his hand to help me stand up while I blinked sleep from my eyes.

We just stopped for the night from Pamela's funeral. Her death was eating me up, but there was not much I could do about it. I needed time to mourn. Somewhere between our last stop and this motel, I changed into a white tank-top and long plaid sweats. I crave sleep and possibly a hot mug of tea.

By the time we obtained the keys and approached our room for the next few days, I was somewhat awake.

"Home shitty home," Dee tiredly commented when we walked in. The light to our room turned on and I gasped in abrupt fear when I spotted a man in suit stood before us. I held a hand to my jump-started heart.

"You scared the hell out of me!" I scolded Uriel, the angel. I looked to his right and saw Castiel already staring at me. His wings twitched anxiously, I wanted to be closer to him, maybe he wanted to do the same?

Uriel smirks," Winchester, Winchester, and Winchester," he greeted flatly, looking all of us over. I felt Sam step in front of me a ways. The angel Uriel, looks to Dean," you are needed."

"Needed? We just got _back_ from needed," I reminded him. Uriel and I didn't exactly get off on the right foot and that didn't look like it was going to change any time soon.

Uriel squinted at me," now, you watch your tone with me."

Dean interjected," no, you watch your damn tone with us-" he stepped forward and stopped a few feet away. I looked to Castiel who stood stalk still, silently observing us. His wings were tightly folded at his back, stiff and unmoving. I wondered to myself if he was okay.

Sam shook his head tiredly, hair flinging with each movement, pinching the bridge of his nose afterwards," look, we just got back from Pamela's funeral."

My oldest brother clicked his tongue and placed his hands on his hips," Pamela. You know, psychic Pamela? You remember her-" he turned to the blue-eyes-angel,"-Cas, you remember her. Y-you burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times," I wanted to say something as Castiel's face took in a look of horror. He hadn't wanted to do that, he even warned Pamela not to look at him," Yeah, then she died saving one of your precious seals. So maybe you can stop pushing us around like chess pieces for _five fucking minutes_!" I looked towards the floor when Dean raised his voice.

"Dean," our angel started," we know this is difficult to understand-" Uriel stopped him.

"-and WE-" Uriel glared back to Castiel," don't care." At those words the other angel dropped his gaze and stared at the wall with his head held high. Castiel had said he wasn't like the others and I could _really_ see that: Castiel could show sympathy.

Uriel continued," Now, seven angels have been murdered, all of them from our garrison. The last one was killed tonight." With that, we established then that it was most likely a demon killing the angels, but it didn't really add up, did it? Why would they want _our_ help with something that was above our pay-grade?

Sam thought the same as I did,"I'm sorry, but what do you want us to do about it? I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of our league, right?"

Uriel sassed," we can handle demons, thank you very much."

"O-once we find whoever it is," Castiel added.

I sighed and rubbed my face," so you need our help hunting a _demon_?" I highly doubted that was all of it.

"Not quite," Castiel answered," we have Alistair."

"Great," I said," then he should be able to tell you what you need to know."

Cas sighed," but he won't talk. Alistair's will is too strong," our friend told us," we've arrived at an impasse".

"Yeah, well he's like the black belt in torture," my oldest brother informed them," I mean, you guys are out of your league."

Uriel shuffled a bit around the room,"that's why we've come to his student," his eyes set on my brother," you happen to be the most qualified interrogator." Oh God no, Dean couldn't revert back to that. After hearing Dee talk of his time in hell like he did, torturing again is very ill-advised.

Castiel tells him that he is our best hope, but, thankfully, my brother fights him on this," no, no way. You can't ask me to to this Cas. Not _this_." I felt my brother take my hand out of fear. I held back tightly, trying to be what grounds my brother back to reality.

The three of us watched Uriel walk before Dean and I, hunching over a small table and whispered," who said anything...about asking?" The next time I blink it took both Dean and I time to register that we were zapped into another room, making me gasp.

This room was dreary and cold, it must've been an old warehouse of some kind, or an abandon factory perhaps. Both Dean and Castiel walked towards the windowed door, looking at the chained up Alistair...Dee, of course, didn't want me to look through the window. Suddenly Dean turned from the door and walked to me, taking my hand.

"Where are you going?" Castiel asked curiously.

I clung to his warm side as we moved," hitch back to Cheyanne, thank you very much." Suddenly we stopped when something, more like _someone_ blocked our path. Uriel.

"Angels are dying, boy," he seethed. He couldn't make Dean do this, this was inhumane. I wished other angels saw the harm in this like Cas did.

"Everybody's dying these days," my brother began," And hey, I get it. You're all-powerful. You can make me do whatever you want. But you can't _make_ me do this." My brother turned behind him to gaze at Castiel.

"This is too much to ask, I _know_ , but we _have_ to ask it," Cas said, his wings drooping a bit from their folded position. Dean stared at Castiel for a second, his thumb running over my knuckle in thought. I hated that they were forcing his hand like this. It was not their place or call.

Dee turned back to Uriel," I wanna talk to Cas...alone."

Uriel's steel gaze met my brother's," I think I'll go seek...revelation. We might have some further orders."

I sighed," well get some doughnuts or peaches while you're out, I'm hungry."

Out of nowhere the room is filled with a strange sound. Uriel is chuckling, at me. " Ah, this one just won't quit, will she? I think I'm starting to like you, girl." I felt Dean tuck me to him more at those words before Uriel flew away.

Now we were left with Cas. I sighed and went to him, giving him a hug, to which he slowly returned. I could tell he was still getting use to this physical-touch-thing," you guys don't walk enough," I mumbled.

"You're gonna get flabby," Dean finished. I pulled away and stood with Dean who had stepped closer to Castiel and I.

"C'mon, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on _you_?" Dean wondered.

"My superiors have begun to question my sympathies," he explained to us.

"Your sympathies?" I questioned, confused.

"I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You two," he looked between us, gaze lingering on me," They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment."

"But we're soulmates, they can't limit your feelings in relation to that, can they?" I wondered. I hoped they didn't try to separate us or anything, I didn't know what I'd do.

"No, they cannot, but they aren't happy I've found my soulmate and they have not," he cleared up for me. I nodded slowly in understanding. _The angels who had a beef with us could shove it up their ass, not everybody gets what they want. Why was that such a hard concept?_

Silence ensued between us, Dean broke it," tell Uriel...or whoever," he looked to the room that contained Alistair," you do _not_ want me doing this."

I rubbed my brother's back gently with a single hand, while Castiel spoke," want it? No. But I've heard we _need_ it."

"Cas," I tried," you ask him to walk through that door, you might not like what comes out. It could be a whole new Dean," I offered sadly. This was a horrible idea.

The angel's features softened at my plea," for what it's worth," he turned to my brother," I would give _anything_ , not to have you do this." _Mercy_. He had more correct angelic attributes the longer we stayed with him.

Dee closed his eyes and turned me to him, placing a kiss to my forehead," I love you, Jul," at my knitted brow he clarified," just in case I can't tell you when I come out."

I felt a lump grow in my throat," I love you too, Dee," I kissed his cheek and hugged him tight, before he wheeled a cart into the room.

I took a deep breath before moving over to a wall and sitting down. I hid my face in my bent knees, goosebumps littering my skin from the cold.

"Here," a familiar voice said. I looked up and saw Castiel with his trench coat held out for me to take," you are cold."

I shook my head," no thank you, it's yours, Cas."

He held it to me more, insisting that I take it," I am unaffected by the temperatures of earth." Huh. Well then, I don't mind if I do. I hesitantly took the coat, putting it on my front, arms through the holes. It covered me like a blanket. The warmth of the material made me shiver. Castiel surprise me, when he joined my seat by the wall.

Feeling a little bold, I placed my head on his warm shoulder. I tried not to gasp when I felt a wing travel behind my back and wrap itself around my side, moving me more into the angel. Even his wings were warm. I didn't know what to say, I feared my voice would betray me.

After a moment the angel spoke, his voice vibrated through my being. In being this close to Cas, I felt safe. The tingles he erupted where he touched and in my stomach were welcomed," I am aware that you harbor feelings for me," he started cautiously," beyond that of friendship."

I pulled back and stared into his blue pools. My face went instantly red, _he_ _had_ _heard me!_ " I-I. .. uh." I couldn't formulate a proper sentence to explain myself.

He chuckled and smirked, making my insides melt," it's alright, Julie, I share the feeling for you." I definitely wasn't expecting him to say that.

I blinked and swallowed hard, unable to tear my gaze from his. A thought occurred to me as I remembered back to when Castiel explained soulmates to me: _an angel was whatever their soulmate needed or wanted them to be_. If Castiel had feelings for me, I wanted him to want it that way, not because it's what I am feeling,"Cas, I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to feel that way because our souls are promised. If you feel like this, I'd only go further as long as you want it like that as well."

He sighed and looked away first, surveying the room," feelings are so _strange_. I find it difficult to differentiate between them. There are so many," he turned back to me," but when I am with you..." he paused staring into my blue doe eyes," I have these urges: I want to make you very happy, I want to keep you safe, and I want nothing more than to be next to you. I just...I care about you and I reciprocate your feelings for me."

I gave him a warm smile. My insides lit with that fuzzy feeling that only Castiel could bring. I snuggled back into his warmth and giggled a bit," I love how you explain things." At first Cas was tense, but now he relaxed and laid his head in top of mine.

"There _is_ something I need to ask you, Julie," he started softly.

"Hmm?" I hummed contently.

"As soulmates, my father created us so that we are given choices. To fully be acquainted with me, you must accept me as yours and I must do the same to you," his soft feathers brushed my pant leg," at any point you may reject me, but you should know, that will not be a pleasant feeling," my other half sighed," what I'm asking is: do you accept me?"

It surprised me with how quickly I answered, there was no hesitation, but I was more than okay with it," yes, Castiel, I accept you as my soulmate." The angel pulled back and searched my eyes, when he found no evidence of doubt or jest, the brightest smile filled his lips.

He smoothed my cheek with his soft hand," thank you, Julie. I've waited for you for _so_ long."

It was my turn to smile,"you make it hard to resist," I chuckled," what about you? D-do you accept _me_?" Suddenly I was filled with insecurities. _Was I worth an angel's acceptance?_

He looked as if I'd asked the dumbest question," oh, with the happiest heart and all of my love to give, yes, I accept you as my mate." Suddenly I felt a surge of unfathomable happiness pulse through my veins. It surprised me so much so that I did a little intake of breath. I didn't know this feeling, it felt divine and celestial even, but I didn't want it to end, I looked to Cas with watery eyes and a quivering lip, "Shh, It's alright, love," he cupped my cheek," I feel it too," and then he did something else I did not anticipate. He placed his lips, feather-light to mine, and _kissed_ me.

Maybe this was one of the things that had me so enamored with the angel: he kept on surprising me. I didn't want someone who stuck to the the rule book, I wanted someone who was as unpredictable in love, as they were in life. The angel, Castiel can learn, from me, about the importance of humanity and feelings, and, in turn, I can learn from him what it would mean to have a love so deep rooted. Our balancing act of a relationship enthralled me so. I kissed him back, happily. The kiss was sweet, gentle, soft, and filled with everything the both of us couldn't put into words. We pulled away needing air. I was unable to repress my smile now, Castiel included. With just a single kiss to seal our souls, I felt even closer to him.

We created our own bubble of happiness for the next minute until the screams of a man echoed throughout the building. I whined, not wanting to hear it, and hid my face in the angel's neck. I prayed that Dean would be okay over and over again in my mind, the soft breaths of my angel tickled my ear as he held me.

 **-break-**

The screams of Alistair echoed the abandon halls. I kept my head tucked into Castiel as he traced little patterns on my skin, just feeling me. Out of no where I felt Cas look up and tense, drawing my attention to whatever he'd reacted to. _Anna_.

"Hello Castiel. Julie," she noted me as well. She looked just as she did when we last saw her, flaming red hair, and determined," I can feel that the two of you have begun the mating process. Congratulations."

"You shouldn't be here. We have orders to kill you," my angel warned her. I was glad he was staying by my side instead of standing to greet her.

Anna's eyes shifted to me," _somehow_ , I don't think you'll try." She looked around the room now," where's Uriel?"

"He went to receive revelation," Cas answered.

"Right..." Anna nodded. _Did she know something we didn't?_

A scream came the chamber with Alistair and Dee, promoting Anna to speak," torturing? Stop him, Cas, please. Before you ruin the one real weapon you have."

"My brother is _not_ a weapon," I decided to speak. _Dean is not some expendable tool. He is family and he's trying to save the world. What other human being is able to say that?_

"Julie is right, but who are we to question the will of God?" My angel asked the red head.

She shrugged," unless this isn't his will."

They stayed silent," then where do the orders come from?"I asked. If she had an answer, I'm not I wanted to hear it.

She shook her head," I don't know, one of our superiors, maybe, but not him." _So God's left us then?_ I wondered to myself.

She turned from me to Castiel," The father you love. You think he wants this? You think he'd ask this of you? You think _this_ is righteous?" She bombed him with questions. I looked to my angel who's face was downcast to the floor, not meeting his sister's eyes.

"What you're feeling? It's called doubt," Anna helped Castiel place the feeling. Castiel still hasn't said anything to her. She sighed and walked in front of us, crouching. When she laid a hand onto Cas's I nearly flipped, but I repressed it. _They are siblings. Not lovers._ I repeated in my head.

"These orders are wrong," she began," and you know it. But you can do the right thing. You're afraid, Cas. I was too. But _together_ , we can still—" my angel pulled back his hand and glared at her.

" _Together_?" He exasperated," I am nothing like you. _Go_ ," he growled. Without another moments glance Anna, had vanished, the fleeting sound of wings, the only remnants. After a moment of silence, Cas took my hand and relaxed more. The screams of Alistair filled my ears once more.

 **-break-**

Castiel and I sat there for hours, it seemed, just listening to the moans and screams of pain that traveled off the walls. When the worst ones sounded, Cas would hold me tighter, sensing my discomfort.

I sighed," how long is this going to last?" I held my face in my hands, the pains of a headache beginning.

"Until Alistair comes clean about the killings," the angel answered me. I imagined Dean wasn't going easy in the demon, but I had to hand it to the guy, he had will power. After a second I realized something, the screams had stopped.

"Cas..." I stated and looked to him with wide eyes. He caught my drift and we sprinted towards the door. I gasped when I saw Alistair holding my brother by the throat, slowly killing him. Ignoring Castiel's pleas to stand back, I grabbed the demon knife and stabbed the demon in the spine. He groaned, dropping Dean.

I pulled the knife out, turning the demon so he faced me. He groaned and spewed blood over my face when I stabbed his gut. With a snarl I dragged the blade up, dissecting his abdomen. At first, he seemed pain by the feeling of his intestines hanging out, but then a devilish smirk crossed his face.

"Oh Julie, you're going to regret that one," he likely told me. I tried to back up, but to no avail. Alistair held a hand to his open belly and grabbed my by the throat. What was it with him and choking? I think he liked to watch his enemies die under his bare hands.

I clawed at his arms, drawing blood. I tried poking at his eyes, but he bit my hand. I couldn't stop this, I needed air. I gasped and choked, slowly seeing black blotches in my vision. As if in cue, Castiel used a crowbar to strike the demon's head, letting me drop to the floor, clawing for breath. Now the demons attention was on my angel. I tried to get up, but I fell down again, disoriented...looking my unconscious brother in his closed eyes. My heart sped up as I questioned his health. He couldn't be dead. I checked his pulse and found the faintest heart beat. Relieved, I placed my brother's head in my lap. I glanced up and saw Alistair trying to exorcise Cas.

"No! Stop!" I begged.

"Your angel's taking a little ride back to heaven, dearie. Say goodbye!" Alistair sneered. As Castiel's grace shown through I felt my own skin tingle. I thought the unpleasant feeling would never end until Sam popped in. And he was...scary to say the least. However, scary Sam was able to use his powers to get answers from Alistair and then he killed him. _Dead._

Exhausted from nearly being choked to death, I finally couldn't stay awake anymore. My body needed rest and I collapsed on Dean into blackness.

 **-break-**

 _BEEP_

 _BEEP_

 _BEEP_

I blinked my eyes open to find out what was causing that repetitive noise. When I saw an IV and a heart monitor, I relaxed. A hospital. _Where was Cas?_ I thought, _and where's Dee? Is he okay?_

"You're brother is doing well," came a familiar voice.

"Cas," I whispered.

"It's alright, Julie," he leaned forward in his chair, holding my hand now," Alistair is dead." He stared.

I nodded, understanding that bit," w-where," my voice croaked. I wanted to know where Sam is.

"He's with your brother," the angel informed me.

I blinked at him for a moment. _He couldn't hear my thoughts could he?_ _I wasn't think about him, I was thinking about Sam, and at first, Dee._

"I can," he simply said," the acceptance of each other, allows me to hear what you are thinking."

"Cas, a g-girl needs privacy," I told him slowly. The mind reading thing could wait, I wasn't feeling so hot, but I definitely didn't want him hearing everything I thought of. What if they were _of_ him?

"I think of you every second," he added.

"Cas," I warned, glaring at him.

He smiled a bit," okay, " he whispered," I'm sorry, I will not read your mind anymore, unless you grant me permission." I nodded, agreeing with that. After a moment of just us staring at each other he spoke again," I'm sorry, I cannot heal you-heaven is limiting my powers." He sounded sad.

"It's okay, C-Cas," I smoothed his knuckle with my thumb.

"I'd give anything and more if I could make your pain go away," he brought my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. His affection made my insides fuzzy. At this rate, that feeling was never going to stop and...I didn't want it to.

"Whatever happens," I told him quietly, thinking about the literal rise of the apocalypse," you won't leave me, will you?" My voice could barely be heard, even to his ears. I was letting him know something that only my brothers were aware of: my greatest fear. Being completely and utterly, _alone_.

He tilted his head and looked unto me with adoration," it would take the destruction of galaxies, the death of many gods, and the end of time itself to keep me from getting to you," he let a jet-black wing blanket my bed. He leaned closer, breath ghosting over my lips," I am, because you _are_." He let his nose touch against my own. His words soothed me to my core more than I could ever imagine. I know it seemed silly to already feel this connected to someone-it was even harder to deny such a feeling, and I was finished with denying. I wanted to be happy for once, I wanted to find a love, and I was more than lucky to find that, and more, with Cas.

He used fingers to lightly close my tired eye lids," sleep, my love, you will feel better when we see each other again." I felt feathers move across the bed, and I heard wings slowly flap away. I felt sleep entice me to her cliff of darkness, to which I gladly fell.

 **-break-**

 **A/N** : I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I did not plan on the kiss happening this soon, but I let the scene write itself. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	24. Chapter 25

**The Monster At The End of This Book**

I took a deep breath, getting back into the real world once again. There were rumors of a possible ghost in the building next door. We needed to check the neighboring buildings, just to be sure; this one just so happened to be a comic book store. The boys and I proceeded to question the clerk. The seriousness of our suits heavily juxtaposed us to the rest of the shop.

The keep explained further," You're asking questions like if the building's haunted. Like those siblings from the books. What are they called? Uh... " _Supernatural_." Two guys and their sister, use fake IDs with rock aliases, hunt down ghosts, demons, vampires. What are their names? Uh... Steve, Jane, and Dirk?," I made awkward eye contact with Sam. _Those names seemed pretty damn similar to ours_ ," Uh, Sal, Joanne, and Dane?"

"Sam, Julie, and Dean?" Wondered the middle child hesitantly.

The man perked up," That's it!" Then the clerk leads us over to a rack of books, before pulling out the _first_ book of supernatural...the event where Dean and I picked up Sam for the first time since he went to collage. Dad had went missing and we needed help. _Why the fuck were we book characters?!_

Sam held up the book," we're gonna need all the copies of Supernatural you've got." This should be interesting.

 **-break-**

I huffed and set the book down, being unable to read any further. I stared at the ceiling trying to forget the memories I'd just relived.

Dean noticed me," which one was it?" He was at one end of the bed, our feet near each other's heads," the car accident. The time where dad...uh...traded his soul for my life."

I heard my brother hum at that memory," he'd be proud of you, if he could see you now, Jul," after a moment he spoke again,"Besides, at least you don't have sex as much as me. Everything is in here, from the racist truck to me having sex," he spoke up for Sam to hear who sat at his laptop," I'm full frontal in here, man!"

"What? Really?" I sat up," lemme see," I demanded holding my hand out for the book. I wanted to be able to hold something like this over my brother's head, and getting a crack at his sex life could do that for me. He cradled the book to his chest and watched me in disgust.

"No. You monster," he denied.

I rolled my eyes,"since when are _you_ modest?" and joined Sam at the small table.

Dean put the book down and walked over to us, taking a seat as well," how come we haven't heard of these before?"

My brunet brother tilted his head. While they conversed I stroked the ends of my hair, trying to braid tiny sections lazily," they're pretty obscure, I mean, almost zero circulation. Uh, it started in '05, the publisher put out a couple dozen before going bankrupt, and uh, the last one 'No Rest For the Wicked' ends with you going to Hell-" Sam slid the laptop over to Dean. I don't understand how someone could know our lives as detailed as this.

I heard Dean scroll down the website. He began reading a comment from a fan," 'the demon storyline is trite, clichéd, and over all crap-tastic.' Well screw you Simpatico, we lived it." Sammy encouraged Dean to keep going.

Dean informed us," there's 'Dean girls', 'Sam girls', 'Julie boys', " at that I smiled. _I've got fans_ ," and-what's a 'slash' fan?" Dean and I eyed Sam, wondering what that term could mean.

Sammy crossed his arms and told us slowly," as in Sam slash Julie slash Dean... _together_."

I gaped, along with Dean," together...you don't mean like together- _together_ do you?" I wondered, praying against it.

"Yeah," he answered. I stared at Dee with mirrored shock.

"They do know we're brothers and sister, right?" He asked.

"Doesn't seem to matter," Sammy shrugged.

Dean started rambling about how disgusting that was," okay," I started," no more computer." I closed the lid and slid it away from him, prompting him to look at me flatly. "We've gotta find this Carver Edlund," I announced.

"Yeah," Sam agreed," that might not be so easy." Upon asking why that would be, turns out, Carver Edlund is a pen name.

"Well somebody's gotta know who he is," my oldest brother insisted.

"We could go talk to the publisher?" I suggested. They nodded and agreed that that was a very good place to start.

 **-break-**

"There's Julie, and then _Sam_ ," the publisher became emotional," I mean, the best parts are when they cry." When we came into this woman's house, I was not expecting for the emotional roller-coaster she was putting us through. She owned and displayed the Supernatural fandom on almost every wall. I was glad to see she was passionate about a book, but these books were about our lives, and how much she knew about us was unsettling.

She tucked her bi-colored hair behind her ear," You know, like in – In 'Heart,' when Sam had to kill Madison, the first woman since Jessica he really _loved_. Or when Julie, in 'Croatan', was about to kill herself when she contracted the virus," I shifted on my feet at that. To save others and my brothers, I _would_ have killed my self," And in 'Home,' when Dean had to call John and ask him for _help_ ". This woman goes on to make a point that "real men" need to be in touch with their feelings just as Sam and Dean do, making me giggle to myself. Of course, my brothers gazed on in confusion.

I played along," I know exactly what she means," I gave my brothers a glance before looking at the publisher. She placed a hand on her heart, she could sympathize with that.

"Right now," Dee started," I'm crying in the inside," he shifted his weight.

Her bows knitted,"how do I know you three are legit, hmm?" She took a seat at her desk.

"Trust me, we're uh...legit," the oldest Winchester told her.

She propped her feet up, giving us a skeptical look," well I don't want any smart-ass article making fun of my babies."

Babies? We're her _babies_ now? Both Sam and Dean were quick to assure her that that is not our intention.

"We're umm...actually big fans," Sam tried to convince her.

"Hmm," she rolled her eyes, probably hearing this before,"you've read the books," she stated.

"Cover to cover," I spoke up. Sam hummed beside me to confirm that.

She gave us all one last look before nodding and questioning," what's the year and model of the car?"

My brother easily answered about his baby," 1967 Chevy Impala." _What a dork_ I thought, I mean, the happy lil smirk that grew on his face at the thought of a _car_ was kinda ridiculous.

"What's August 24th?" She questioned next.

"That's my-" I stopped my self quickly, the boys gave me me silent looks of fear," that's _Julie's_ birthday."

"January 24th is Dean's," my older brother shrugged, making me roll my eyes.

The publisher nodded in approval. _At least we were passing her little quiz!_ " Sam's score on the LSAT?" Our faces fell then as we anxiously looked to Sam. I really hoped he knew this answer.

He stumbled in thought," one...," he looked around searching for the answer," seventy-four?" Once again, the publisher nodded.

"Julie's favorite food?"

"Peaches."

"Dean's favorite song?"

Dean mirrored her smirk," it's a tie," he told her," between Zep's ' _Ramble On_ ' and ' _Traveling Riverside Blues_ '." I quirked a brow at her impressed expression.

"Okay," she breathed," okay, what do you want to know?"

"What's carved Edlund's real name?" I got to the point. I was not prepared for how defensive she became, telling us she would not reveal that. That's when Sammy got the bright idea to tell her that we were "big... _big_ fans" and showed her his anti-possession tattoo. The woman looked to both Dean and I next, we rolled our eyes at the same time, nevertheless revealing ours as well. Mine happened to be a bit more private because it was placed between the valley of my breasts, so all I let her see was the bottom tips of the tattoo.

Without warning she gets up and starts taking her pants off. I look away and try to hide my second-and embarrassment. She had revealed to us, the same tattoo on her ass. At this point, whatever gets the job done, we'll take. We had had obtained the address to a "Chuck Shurley", thank _God_ for that.

 **-break-**

Chuck wasn't was I was expecting at all, I mean, he had a very ramshackle household, trash littered the interior, and Chuck himself seemed scrawny and feeble. He even seemed as blown away as we were that his characters showed up at his door. Sam suggested that he was most likely psychic.

"If I were psychic do you think I'd be writing?" Countered Chuck to Sam," Writing is hard."

I scoffed," well it just seems that, somehow your like, _laser_ focused on our lives," I gently informed him," y-you're not working on anything right now...are you?" At my question the boys and I looked to Chuck eagerly waiting. When Chuck's face fell and he began cursing himself, we knew he had continued his work.

Chuck looked over the latest papers," the latest book its uhh...well, I wrote myself into it. I wrote myself, at my house...confronted by my characters."

Both of my brothers clenched their jaws, getting upset with Chuck. I sighed," don't worry Chuck, we're gonna figure this out, and then maybe, it'll all be a bad dream." He smiled at my try at assuring him.

 **-break-**

The next day, Chuck called us to us house, very upset and frantic. When we walked in he announced that he had written yet another chapter. _Oh God, this couldn't be good, but whatever it is, we can handle it- look at what we've already been through._

"We can take it, I promise," I assured," spill."

We bit his lip and turned to Dee," you especially aren't going to like this."

He shrugged in response," I didn't like hell." _Fair point._

"It's Lilith," he got to the point," she's coming for Sam."

"To kill him?" Dean asked quickly.

"When?" Sam added at about the same time as my other brother. Chuck answered only one. Lilith was coming tonight. He put on his glasses and began to read.

"' Lilith patted the bed seductively. Unable to deny his pleasure, Sam succumbed, and they sank into the throes of fiery demonic passion," the writer read. I felt my stomach do flips at what he was reading. Sam's laughing caught both Dean and I off guard.

"You think this is funny?" I questioned seriously.

"What? You don't? Come on,' fiery demonic passion?'" Whatever Sam was thinking, wasn't rational. Everything Chuck has written has come true, I don't think it's stopping any time soon.

The writer of our lives goes on to explain exactly how he gets the plots that he gets. Apparently, he gets an aggressive headache, and the scenes play out in his dreams.

I heard Sam scoff," guys, you can't seriously believe-" Dean stopped him.

"Humor me." The blond brother took the manuscript from Chuck who'd had it held out for him to take," why don't we just take these and see what's what?"

I nodded," sounds like a plan to me," I agreed.

I sat in the back of the impala now, sketching another blackbird, but this time in a field of dahlias-my favorite flower.

Sam read the newest chapter out loud," The minivan accident wasn't that bad, but Julie was still seeing stars. She scratched absently at the pink flower Band-Aids on her face."

"So?" I wondered.

Sam's glared at me through the rearview mirror," _so_ I've seen you gushing blood. You'd use duct tape and bar rags before you'd put on a pink flower Band-Aid." My face contorted in confusion, I thought he was against this. Whatever was written down, it just _is_ , I couldn't even begin to explain it.

"I-I don't understand, what's your point?"

"My point is-all of this – is totally implausible, it's nuts," he exasperated. Dean helped vouch for me, telling Sam that it'd be unlikely that Chuck got this one wrong. Sam scoffed once more and read more. Apparently, Dean's baby, gets a tarp over the back windshield.

"If Lilith is here," I gently told my boys," shouldn't we take our chance? I don't really think getting the hell outta dodge is really the right plan here." I had thought we'd be staying in this town, turns out Dean wanted to leave.

"Jul, we are a long way from ready with a face-to-face death match with Lilith," he protectively shoots back at me. Call it a sign or fate, but the only entrance and exit from this town was over a bridge, and lo' and behold, it was closed down for maintenance. Looks like we had to stay in town, just as it is written down.

While Dean worked on turning the impala around I mumbled to myself," double double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble," I tried to recite Macbeth," for a charm of powerful trouble, like a hell-broth boil and bubble."

"Alright, Juls, that's just freaky," Dean scolded making me chuckle.

 **-break-**

Since we had to stay in this town, Dean suggested that we play off-book. Everything it says we do, we do the opposite. It seemed simple enough, but even at the restaurant, the inked words seemed inescapable.

We pulled into a very skimpy motel parking lot.

"Dude this places charges by the hour," Sammy whined, looking over the place.

"Yeah, well, the book says Lilith finds you at the Red Motel. Hence, the uh, hooker inn. It's opposite day, remember?" My other brother gave an innocent smile before hopping out of the car.

Sam and I stood around the room, watching Dee run around and put the stuff down. I watched him place hex bags on the tables, hoping his Lilith proofing works. Thinking about having to face Lilith, scared me, but I wouldn't admit that out loud. She's one of the worst demons we've ever come across.

"So what am I supposed to do?" Sam whined some more," just hole up here all night? And what about Julie?"

Dean responded, still going around the room," That's exactly what you're gonna do, okay? And _no_ research. I don't care what you do – use the Magic Fingers, or watch Casa Erotica on Pay-Per-View. The chapter says Julie stays with you, researching, so I'm taking her with me." Suddenly a devilish smile encompassed his face, his hand hovering over the laptop bag, and he rips out Sam's laptop, to insure that he won't get on it. Sam wasn't too happy about that.

I went up beside Dean, taking his hand. Looks like, we've got some sibling bonding time once more. Sam wondered where Dee was going to go. The manuscript says Dean drives Baby around all day, so he's going to park her while we go for a walk. I thought to myself that a walk would be a good time to tell him about Cas and I.

Before we walked out, Dean ordered Sam to," behave yourself, would you? No homework. Watch some porn." Pleased with himself, Dean pulls me out with him, making me chuckle. I barely had a second to wave Sam goodbye.

Pretty soon the impala was parked and together we started walking, after I helped him get over his paranoia that something would happen to Baby, of course.

We made it to the other side of the street and I tried to talk to my brother," hey, Dee?"

"Yeah?" He looked over at me as we walked.

"So Cas and I...we-" I was cut off when Dean had spotted some teens trying to beat into the impala. Of course Dean made off like a bat out of hell before looking both ways before crossing, missing the on coming car. I had a limited window of saving my brother, but I took it anyways. Just in time, I pushed my brother out of the way, and then blackness consumed my vision.

The sound of many voice speaking captured my attention from my sleep. I groaned, trying to blink away the blurry vision. I could have sworn I saw stars before my eyes.

"Stars," I whispered. My sight slowly started to clear up.

"I am so sorry, I didn't see you! Are you okay?" An older woman asked me. I realized that the stars I had seen, were only her star-shaped earrings. I tried to nod, but my head was killing me.

"Jul, princess, I'm here, you okay?" Dean's voice came into my right ear.

"I'm fine, asshat, just help me up!" I held out my arm for him to take. He placed a second hand in my back to help me sit up.

The woman spoke again," and I'm sorry about the you know-" he gestured to her face,"my daughter's going through a doctor phase." My brows knitted. What was she talking about? A little girl came to my left, with _pink flower band-aids_.

"You're all better now!" She said with a happy smile.

I sighed, playing along. I already knew what had happened-there were pink flower band-aids on my face," thanks for the help, doc." Although, the back of my head felt terrible, children are so impressionable, saying that was the least I could do. Next thing I knew, Dean was hauling me up, without tearing his eyes from his impala...the back window was smashed in.

"Fate will unwind as it must," I mumbled some Beowulf now, peeling the band-aids off one-by-one.

 **-break-**

We drove to Chucks house, hoping to get to the bottom of this. When he entered I cupped my head in my hands, any noises weren't helping my thumping skull. I probably had a knot from where the back of my head kissed asphalt, and pretty blue and purple nebulas where the van connected with my side.

Sure enough, Chuck came home, already knowing we were there of course.

"S-she doesn't look so good," Chuck noted my posture.

"That's 'cause she just got hit by a fucking minivan, Chuck," Dean fumed. He stood and slowly approached the writer. Chuck had to place his groceries of mostly alcohol and Aspirin on a counter quickly. "Why do I get the feeling there's something you're not telling us?" He inched closer to Chuck who was cornered.

"What wouldn't I be telling you?"

"How you know what you know for starters!" Dee yelled making my ears ring.

"Please don't yell, Dee," I rubbed my temples.

"I don't know how I know, I just do!" Countered Chuck.

Dee practically snarled,"that's not good enough." Before I knew it he slammed him to the wall there, fisting a handful of his shirt to keep him secure," how the hell are you doing this?!" He yelled, forgetting or ignoring my plea.

I squinted my eyes shut in pain at the loud sound.

"Dean, let him go!" Came a voice I have been craving. I looked up to see my angel glaring at my brother. His voice alone seemed to alleviate some of my pain. At Castiel's abrupt entrance, Dean let go of Chuck," this man is to be protected."

"Why?" Dee wondered the million-dollar-question.

"He's a prophet of the Lord," simply spoke the angel. There was a silence in the room.

I decided to speak," boy, are we glad to see you, Cas" I stood and limped over to him, he looked onto me with worry. I hugged him, which he carefully returned. I whispered into his ear," but mostly me."

We pulled apart and he looked me over," you are in pain."

I nodded," getting hit by a car will do that to you." I forgot Dean and Chuck were even in the room by this point.

I let Cas use a hand to feel the back of my head, which contained a large knot. His fingers in my hair where a sensation for some other time. I felt his hand heat up and heal the wound. It was good to know he'd gotten some of his juice back. I wish, however, that that was the only thing that hurt, but he saw me cupping my right side, knowing it needed healed too. I let him then, raise my shirt to reveal the nasty yet large blue and purple bruises there. It was _not_ a pretty sight. Castiel reached out a soft hand, palming my side and letting his light return my skin to normal. I had to fight a giggle that came with the ticklish sensation. For a second the angel left his hand there, thumb stroking my skin. My eyes finding it hard to look away from his.

Someone cleared their throat," so you two are like...a _thing_?" Oh right, Dean and Chuck were here.

I sighed,"that's what I was trying to tell you when we were walking, before you saw those teens attacking your Baby."

"They're more than a _thing_ , Dean," Chuck added," they're soulmates. I would know I-"

"If you were gonna say 'wrote the book', I don't want to hear it," my brother grumbled out. He shifted his murderous gaze to Castiel. I felt him gulp beside me. I rested a soothing hand on his arm," Cas, you need to know somethin'."

My angel listened intently.

"If you hurt her, and I mean in _any_ way-if you so much as make her _cry_ because she's unhappy, I _will_ find a way to pluck every goddamn feather you own. Do I make myself clear?" He threatened. I noticed the angle's wings droop in fear.

Castiel's eyes were as wide as saucers, he nodded and swallowed hard," this is another reason I didn't want to tell you Dee, you scare people."

"Good," he crossed his arms.

"I would _never_ hurt Julie, it would physically pain me to do so, her death..." he trailed off," it..." Cas couldn't find the words," I-I don't have words to equate to the amount of pain I would feel."

"You're...you're Castiel aren't you?" Questioned Chuck.

My angel nodded, "it's an honor to meet you, Chuck," spotting a supernatural book he picked it up and flipped through it," I...admire your work." He looked up from the book to peer at me. I blushed beet red.

Dean was taken aback by the prophet thing," c'mon, he's practically Pent House Forum Writer." My brother thought for a second then turned to the prophet," did you know about this?" That makes sense, he would've had to see this coming. I wasn't shocked to find that he did.

"It was too preposterous, and not to mention arrogant! I mean, writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That's like M. Night level douchiness!" He finished his tirade before gulping down his whiskey, without coming up for air.

I stared in confusion and a bit of horror," _this_ is the guy who decides our fate?" I didn't feel so safe having my life in his hands.

"If it is, we might as well be fucked," Dean agreed.

I felt Castiel step back beside me, resting a hand on my back," he isn't deciding anything. He's a mouthpiece- a conduit for the inspired word." He didn't mean 'the word' as in the Bible ' _The Word_ ' did he? Dean voiced my thoughts.

"One day," Castiel began," these books will be known as the Winchester Gospel." I felt my stomach drop at that. _The Gospel of us?_ That was a very hard concept for me to wrap my head around. I mean, the whole world, knowing how we've saved the planet? That...that's _crazy_!

Chuck quickly excused himself from the room, leaving my brother, soulmate and I to ourselves. Castiel says that there is no way to stop what he has foreseen, as it is written, so shall it come to pass. Maybe that's how it's written, but if it's one thing I do know: chapters can be scrapped. We posses the hands to rip up the ending and rewrite it- _our_ way. And I think that's really the beauty of being _human_. Possessing free will.

 **-break-**

"You've been using your psychic crap!" My oldest brother yelled at the middle child. We'd came back to the motel room, ready to haul ass out any way possible, but Sam was set on staying and letting Lilith come,"and you've been getting stronger. We just don't know why and we don't know how."

"It's not what you think," Sam stated gently, hands on his hips.

The blond's lips drew a hard line,"then what is it Sam? Cause I'm at a total loss." My brother went to the door. I shared a glance with Sam, disappointed in him for the thousandth time. I looked to the floor, in shame, before following Dee. When asked if he was joining us, Sam blatantly told us 'no'. I was confused for a moment when Dean didn't move anywhere. He then threw his duffle bag down before storming out. Looks like we were staying too.

Nevertheless I followed Dean out to a vending machine, which did nothing, but eat his money. As if sensing the lack of food, my stomach growled loudly. I clutched it and looked to Dee quickly.

He sighed," if there's one _good_ thing I'm gonna do tonight, it's get my sister something to eat." My brother was something else. He would rather starve to death than see me go hungry.

"Never mind that, Dean," rang the voice of Castiel, from behind me. I saw in his hands, a can of peaches and a fork, making me smile.

Dean nodded," what about me?" He whined, seeing the food for me as well.

"Julie is my priority," he passed the peaches to me after popping the lid off. I frowned in surprise, but I was hungry, so I selfishly forked pieces into my mouth. I was too distracted by the sweet syrupy fruit, to be concerned with the boys' conversation. All I registered was when Dee walked away, and started the Impala, without me.

"W-where is he going?" I was a little hurt he'd just leave without me.

"To get Chuck and bring him here," Castiel answered me. I looked back at him and a smirk crossed him.

"What?"

"N-nothing it's just...uh," I thought I was mistaken when I saw his face redden. I stayed in place as he walked closer, his nose tapping mine," you have some on your lip." Before I could clean myself, he leaned forward and kissed my peached up lips. I was _not_ expecting him to be this bold, but I welcomed it. I felt his tongue come out and experimentally lick at the excess juice there. I giggled as I felt a shiver run down my spine and felt him chuckle too. We pulled apart, both of our lips swollen.

"You keep on surprising me, angel," I used a free hand to play with his tie.

He shrugged," I don't know where that came from, I'm sorry."

I shook my head," don't be sorry, love, I liked it." I pulled him by his tie, down for one more quick kiss. I couldn't get enough of him.

 **-break-**

Lilith had come. But just as we planned, Chuck arrived and Lilith tucked tail once more. She had offered to Sam, to stop the apocalypse and everything, if they just did the do in the bed, but just as planned, we didn't go by the script. We'd found a way around it, yet Lilith was still out there. Sam is pretty positive that the next time they meet, _she_ will be the one pushing up daisies. And I pray, he is right.


	25. Chapter 26

**Jump the Shark**

 **A/N:** This one's a little long (5,500 words) but there was a bunch of emotion I needed to cover for Julie.

 **-break-**

This morning I sit on the hood of the Impala, overlooking a blue hued landscape. Sam stood, leaning against the car as we brush our teeth in comfortable silence. Views like this were one of the things that made hunting worth it. I spit out the foam then followed with a water bottle to rinse my mouth and clean the brush. I passed it to Sam and he does the same.

The sound of the car door opening drew our attention to the last waking sibling,"morning, bub. How'd you sleep?" I asked, watching in concern as he fell out of the car and onto the ground. Sleeping in Baby wasn't the most comfortable thing, but then again, I always used a brother for a soft mattress, I suppose it wasn't my place to talk.

"How do you think?" He sassed back, whilst trying to stretch.

I put my toothbrush back in the hygiene bag," well, now that we're up, let's get breakfast, I'm starving."

Sam snarked,"from where? We're like two hours from anything."

My stomach started to growl as if on cue," but I'm hungry now," I complained.

Dean's voice met my ears in agreement," I second that," Sam uttered to us that there should still be some sandwiches in the back seat. I watched Dean check it out, but at his reaction to sniffing the bag of day-old-tuna-sandwiches, I think I'll pass.

I pulled out some dental floss and started going at it, selectively listening to Dean when a cell phone started to ring. I paid it no mind until, Sam noticed that is was dad's cell doing the ringing. I'd finished and crumbled the floss into my plain grey sweatshirt pocket and listened.

"Well, sorry to be the one to break this to you pal, but John died more than two years ago," my brother told person on the other end. _Yeah, he died to save me_ , I thought. There was a pause before Dean asked," who is this?" I watched my brother look up at us, in shock. Looks like we were in for another ride.

 **-break-**

A brother. Another one. I could barely handle the two I already have! The second Dean spilled what the caller told him, Sam and I rushed to research. Sam had taken the phone from our brother, giving our new "brother" a meeting place within his home state of Minnesota. Dad's journal said nothing about another son, but there _was_ a section that made me hypothesize otherwise.

We pulled into the parking lot of a diner called 'Cousin Oliver's Hilltop Café' in Windom, Minnesota. I was eager to see if this kid was legitimately our sibling, but it also hurt to know dad was with another woman. Mom was his everything-even after she died, I thought that meant something. Dean was the one to scramble out and break for the trunk, stashing weapons while Sam tried to get it into Dean's skull that Adam Milligan checked out.

"Graduated from high school with honors, and currently goes to the University of Wisconsin—biology major, pre-med..." Sam read off the paper then saw Dean tediously picking weapons. He closed the weapon's compartment,"Dean? You listening?"

He turned to Sam and I," this is a trap," he sounds so sure. Reluctantly, Sam and I followed our hell-bent brother up to the diner, my loose dutch braids, swinging behind me. I spotted some of the ads on the outside of the building.

I latched onto Sam's arm and gasped," Sammy, they have peach waffles."

He chuckled," I don't think Dean plans on staying long, bug." I scrunched my nose, _well tough. I'm hungry and Dean's knows how I can be when I'm hungry_. Dee walked in first and held the door for Sam and I.

We looked around the place, _at least he isn't here yet_ , I thought. Sam placed a hand on my shoulder to return my attention back to finding a seat, which Dean picked; all the way at the back. He took the chair on one end and slid it over to the other, telling me to sit first. I sat by the window, Dee in the middle and Sam on the outside.

A waitress came, wanting our orders. Of course I politely told her I would like the peach waffles, but beyond that, she'd been interrupted by Dee when he said," actually we're waiting on someone." That did not make her happy at all. In hindsight, Dean _was_ being harsh, so I called him out on it. He did nothing, only replace one of the waters with a clear liquid from a silver flask.

I gaped,"Dee! C'mon, Holy water?"

"Yup," he spoke," one sip of Jesus juice, and this evil bitch is gonna be in a world of hurt."

"What if he's not possessed?" Sam wondered quietly.

"Then he's a shapeshifter," he concluded. I watched in wonderment as he carefully replaced Adam's cutlery with actual silver ones. _Ah, he was going to try and catch him_. My stomach was alight with many feelings. I was anxious to see him, hurt to know he existed, and on edge for a possible monster in the room.

I clutched dad's journal to me while Dean continued," Look, either way, this thing is gonna bleed. I mean, using Dad as bait? That's the last mistake of its short, pitiful life." That's kind-of unfair isn't it? What if he really is our flesh and blood- _human_ brother? He lost a dad just like us. Just then the waitress brought my food, smiling only at me.

I frowned while I pondered Dean's words, simultaneously gazing into the syrupy heaven that blessed my senses. Dean looked between me and a similarly quiet Sam," what?" We just looked at each other "what?!" He repeated.

"Dean, listen..." I began," there's an entry in dad's journal." I held it up for emphasis, before opening it, and turning to the correct page.

I relayed what I'd found," From January of 1990, saying he's headed to Minnesota to check out a case. That's, roughly, oh," I shrugged," about _nine months_ before the kid was born."Dean didn't respond so, with the roll of my eyes, I decided then to take my first bite of of food, and almost had to fight an orgasm, a... _food_ -gasm.

"Coincidence," Dean denoted. There's no way this was such a thing.

I swallowed the delicacy," coincidence? The next two pages of the journal-", I showed him from my lap,"-torn out." Dean's jaw stayed tight as he conversed quietly with Sam. I listened as I ate my heavenly meal. _Castiel, eat your heart out_.

' _Doing so would cause you phenomenal pain. I'm sorry, but I will not do that to you, Julie_ ," a voice apologized in my head. Fuck! I had forgot that thinking about him allows him to mind read. I broke it to him that I'd have to explain the phrase later, but the comedy was well needed.

"I mean," Sam reiterated," hunter rolls into town, kills the monster-"

"-Saves the girl," I batted my lashes at Dean. I sure hoped he felt ganged up on.

Sam nodded, going along with me, and slightly shrugged," sometimes the girl is grateful."

Dee shook his head," great. Now you've got me thinking about dad-sex. Stop talking," he ordered. His gaze had been set on the entrance to the diner, he barely looked at us.

"Maybe he slipped one passed the goalie," Sam hinted. Now that one made me feel uncomfortable.

"Dude!" Dean's voice rose a little to try and scold his little brother.

Just then, the boy who walked into the diner, made me gasp. He had dad's eyes, dad's brows, and dad's jawline. That _had_ to be Adam. I felt my unease pick up. Sam called him over. As his order was taken, I had finished my plate.

"Uh, this is Julie," Sam introduced me," and this is Dean." Adam already knew Sam from the phone call. I greeted him as best I could when he gave a small "hey".

The conversation instantly became about dad: what he did, how he died (I couldn't answer that one, I looked out the window trying not to think about it).

We all, rather awkwardly, watched Adam as he,unknowingly, brought the glass of Holy water to his lips. He swallowed it without a problem, but he could still, very well be, a shapeshifter. I looked over at Dean when I heard a click under the table. He had his gun pointed at him. My heart beat started to pick up as I looked around the diner, making sure we hadn't drawn attention to ourselves.

"My mom's missing," Adam broke the ice, confessing his real intentions for calling.

I'd give anything to still have my mom around," really? I'm so sorry, for how long?" Genuinely curious. Dean, however, prohibited Adam from answering.

"It's tragic, really," I could hear the anger in his voice,"but if you're John's kid, how come we've never heard of you?"

"Mom never talked about him," he answered," I knew _some_ stuff." Sam wondered what kind of stuff.

"My mom's a nurse, and Dad came into the ER, pretty torn up. Hunting accident or something. And I knew his name. John Winchester. That's about it. We're not exactly a nuclear family," Adam shifted in his seat. Guess dad wasn't around for him much either. I tried to limit myself from pitying him. _He could still be a monster._

"So when did you finally meet him?" Dean asked him.

Adam seemed to brighten at that," when I was twelve. My mom had one of his old numbers and, after I begged her-God- twenty-four-seven, she finally called him. God, when John heard he had a son, he raced to town. I mean, he dropped everything. He drove all night." The lump in my throat was painful. Dad never rushed home to see any of us like that. If he did, there was a monster in the room. I coughed to lessen the pain and then took a sip of my water. The waitress, named Denise, set down Adam's food. Our attention turned back to him when used the silver cutlery to cut into his breakfast. Well. He wasn't a shapeshifter. _Shame_. I felt bad for wanting him to be a monster.

Adam continued," he would swing by once a year, or so. He taught me poker and pool and even bought me my first beer when I was fifteen. And, uh...he showed me how to drive." Adams next words cut deeper than any weapon ever could," Dad, he had this beautiful 'sixty-seven Impala—" if it wasn't Dean who cut him off, it would've been me.

"–oh, this is crap! You know what, you're lying," Dee called him out.

"No, I'm not."

"Uh, yeah, you are." They went back and forth.

"I'm sorry, but who the hell are you to call me a liar?" Adam became defensive.

Dean broke," we're John Winchester's kids! That's _who_!" Dean used a finger to indicate to me, Sam, and himself," _we_ are his sons and daughter." Adam stared in stunned silence at Dean first. Then Sam, then me, however I shied away from his look.

"I've got a sister? And brothers?" I felt bad that he looked so happy.

"No, you don't. Look man, I don't know if you're a hunter, or what kind of game you're playing here–" Adam interjects the oldest brother.

"–I've never been hunting in my life."

Dean shook his head," whatever. I'm out of here. Come on Jul, Sam." He stood and made it halfway to the exit before Adam admitted that he could prove it. Intrigued, Dean had to see for himself.

 **-break-**

Adam wasn't kidding when he said he could prove that John Winchester was his father. The framed pictures on the wall of dad and Adam stung deeply. Adam's mom even looked strangely like our mother. And you know what? Dad took him. To a fucking baseball. Game. You know what dad did with us? Took us to life threatening environments whilst handing us .42's. At least we knew the real John Winchester.

Dean and I looked around Kate Miligan's room. Apparently the cops found nothing, but then again, they're not us, are they?

I heard a floorboard creak and looked to the doorway, finding Adam there. "The uh, night stand was knocked over?" I relayed what Adam had told us, just clarifying.

He nodded," the sheriff said there was no sign of a break-in". I quirked a brow at that and searched the room some more, which he noticed," what? Think the cops missed somethin'?"

I shrugged, Dean was listening to our conversation now," maybe, yeah. But then again, they don't have my eyes." I smiled innocently and went back to searching. Adam took this time to ask Dean if he could tell him more about dad. From the pictures, it seems like Adam knew his "father" side more than us.

"You're mechanics?" Adam gathered.

I gave a head tilt," that's right; something like that."

After a few minutes Sam came, asking to speak with us privately. He showed us a newspaper article that told of bodies being found from a reported grave robbery.

"You think that's why dad came here?" I wondered.

"I'd say so, check it out-"Sam held up the article and within the picture, there was dad; hidden amongst the crowd. So our father was definitely hunting something, but what? We had no idea, but bodies are starting to go missing again, and from a local cemetery too. This monster was back and at it.

Dean went back into Kate's room and held the photo up of the latest missing man: Joe Barton. Just as Adam was explain how he didn't know that man, something caught my eye. Scratch marks. Five of them, long and trailing under Kate's bed. I called the boys' attention to it and they scrambled to remove the matress, revealing a vent, big enough for someone to crawl through.

Already knowing what to do, Sam, Dean, and I began playing rock, paper, scissors. Dean was out first, leaving Sam to battle me. He chose paper and I went with rock.

"Dammit," I whispered, looking back at the vent. I had an idea and looked back to my brothers," I'll do it, but I want a foot rub later with _no_ complaints." They held up their hands in surrender. Good.

The register vent actually had some wiggle room. I thought it was a bust until I found blood, and more blood, then...flesh chunks, complete with fibers of hair. I sighed, Adam's mother was gone.

"Hey boys?" I called, my voice muffled slightly to them. All three called back in unison," you should probably call the police."

 **-break-**

Thankfully we were back at the motel. I sat with Dean, on the bed, and helped him clean some guns. Out of no where Adam bursted in, making me quickly hide the weapons with the covers.

Adam was livid," who the hell are you?" He looked over all of us.

"Take it easy," Sam stood and tried to calm him.

Adam shook his head, glaring daggers," No, don't tell me to take it easy, okay? My house is a crime scene, my mom's probably dead, and you three—well, you tell me to call the cops, but you got to bail before they show? So, who are you really?" There was a pause between us, almost mentally having a conversation with each other," Cops didn't know where to look for my mom, Julie, but you did. And I heard you talking earlier—something about grave robberies." He looked to the bed, spotting the poorly hidden shotgun," you're not mechanics...I just wanna know what's goin' on."

Out of no where Sam blurts," we're hunters."

"Sammy!" Dean warned him and even added one of his icy glares.

"He deserves to know, Dean," Sammy fought back. Was it really for the best if he knew? It's not exactly fun to learn that monsters exist and they're a lot closer to you than you think.

Sam had told Adam everything he needed to know about monsters. During some point, Dee moves to the dinning table and Sam and Adam sat across from each other on the beds. I still remained in my spot, shared with Sammy. Upon learning that most mythical critters were 100% real, Adam simply said,' okay'. It struck me as odd that he had no fear or hesitation. Thankfully Dee called him out on it, but his excuse didn't comfort me either," you're my siblings, and you'd tell me the truth." And therefore, he believed us. Certain aspects of this just seemed off. I don't know, maybe it's just a gut feeling...maybe I needed something to eat.

"You think my mom might still be alive?" He inquired to us. My brothers turned to me, fuck. I didn't want to be the one to tell this to him!

"Adam," I started gently," there was just too much blood...I'm sorry," I genuinely was. I thought of my mother and the vague memories I had of her.

"Oh," he blinked looking at the floor then determination crossed his features,"how can I help?"

"You can't," quickly added Dean.

Adam's brow furrowed," this thing killed my mom. If you're hunting it, I want in."

"No." reiterated Dee growing angry.

"Dee, look, maybe–" he stopped me

"–maybe what?"

"He lost his mother," I pointed out," maybe we can understand what that feels like!" I was growing upset with him. He didn't seem like a monster, and he was our brother just trying to get revenge. How is that so different from us all those years ago?

Dean came over with dad's journal and stood before us, fuming," why do you think dad never told us about this kid, Julie? Huh? Why do you think he ripped out the pages?!" I tried not to flinch away at his yelling.

"Because–" he stopped me once again.

"–because he was protecting him!"

There was a bit of a silence and Sam spoke softer now," dad's dead, Dean."

"That doesn't matter!" Dean raged," he didn't want Adam to have our lives, okay? And we are going to respect his wishes."

I'd forgot the kid was even in the room until he asked," do I get a say in this?" My brothers and I respond 'no' in unison. Geez could we get anymore creepy?

Dean huffed, grabbed his jacket, and headed for the door," babysit the kid." He ordered Sam and I.

"Where are you going?" Sam wondered.

"I'm going out!" He shouted, slamming the door behind him. An uncomfortable silence encompassed the room in his absence. Unsure of what to say or do now.

"Is he always like that?" Adam inquired.

I scoffed," that's the warmest welcome you'll get from us Winchesters. Welcome to the family."

Sam took Dean's absence as a chance to teach Adam about using a firearm. I didn't like doing this behind our brother's back, but shouldn't Adam have the ability to protect himself? That's the least we could do for him.

 **-break-**

Adam was practicing disassembling the gun, while Sam and I continued cleaning the other weapons. I was proud to be polishing my pearl-gripped pistol that mirrored Sam and Dean's.

Suddenly Adam asked a question I wasn't prepared for," how did dad really die?" Sam and I looked at each other, before he went back to cleaning his gun.

"Demon," he uttered.

"You hunted it down? Got revenge?" He asked further.

"Dean killed it," I stated making Adam look at me.

"So it's over for you?"

I shook my head with a sly smile," it's never over, bub." At the use of his new name a tiny smile spread across his lips. Sam gave me a questioning glance and I shrugged. Oh what the hell? He _was_ family and I didn't want him to feel like he was alone. All at once the motel room's power went out, making it excessively dark. I could've sworn I heard something rattle in the bathroom.

I looked to Sam, wondering if the monster found us" Stay here," he instructed Adam and I.

I watched my tallest sibling approach the bathroom with his shotgun raised, he was quite stealthy and quiet on those giraffe legs. He slammed the door open, to find nothing. Suddenly the rattling sound came from the room Adam and I were in, drawing Sam's attention. At this point, I helped Adam off the bed and held my gun up too. The sound seemed to come from the air ducts.

"It's in the vents," Sam whispered urgently,"Go!" He fired at the vent before pulling me outside with him. We high-tailed it to Adam's truck, which Sam was about to drive.

I waited on the side with Sam to hop in, trying to catch my breath. Adam and I shared eye contact before my legs were pulled out from under me, making me yelp. Something was wrapped around my ankles and pulling me under the truck. I struggled and called for Sammy.

"Julie!" Adam cried out.

Sam stopped what he was doing immediately to grab my arms to pull me back. The grip on my ankles hurt like a son of a bitch.

"Sammy, its got my ankle!" I struggled. I only seem to be pulled further under the vehicle, not even Sam could best it by himself. My eyes began to water at the pain. Adam took his chance and tried to help pull me.

From my cries I heard the impala pull up," Dean, help!" Adam shouted. I heard quick footsteps rush over to me.

"Dee!" I acknowledged.

"I'm here. You're gonna be alright princess," he tried to sooth. He took my arm that Adam had, and together, he, Sam, and Adam tried to pull me back. I let out a cry when the pain intensified, but the creature let go. Sam pulled me away and held me to him on the ground, while Dean shot under the truck with his sawed-off. He looked back at us, noting me sniffling into Sam's chest.

Adam had moved his truck to reveal a manhole, but there was blood splattered everywhere. Dean was investigating the escape hole, before joining Sam and I who sat in the impala hood.

"I winged it," he said coming to us," are you okay? Did you see anything?"

I held up my leg with the swelled up ankle," I'll live, but no, I didn't get a good look...what the hell is this thing?"

Sam answered that we didn't know what it was, but we do know who it's going after: all of the people dad knew in town. This creature wants revenge.

 **-break-**

I leaned on Sam when we entered Adam's house. He was instructed to pack some bags, then we'd be off. Sam sat me down on one of the dining chairs and he sat across from me; he and Dean conversed while I tried not to groan in pain as he wrapped my sprained ankle.

Dean planned,"Sam, we're gonna take the kid, we're gonna drop him off at Bobby's, and then you, Juls, and me are gonna come back here and finish what Dad started." He looked at the pictures of Adam and dad on the fridge.

"How?" I wondered," we've got no leads, no witnesses..." I trailed off.

"No, but we _do_ have what this thing wants," Sam surprisingly suggested.

Dean thought exactly as I had," you want to use the kid as bait? That's why you want to stay here?"

"We could train Adam–get him ready. I mean, what if they find the kid and he's _not_ ready?" My brunet brother explained.

Adam's sudden voice came from the doorway," I'll do it. Whatever it takes–I'll do it."

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, he's not happy about this, but he'll comply.

 **-break-**

The next day, Sam taught Adam how to shoot a gun while I worked on making my ankle feel better. Turns out, our new brother wasn't that bad with a gun– he nearly nailed the bulls-eye.

That night Dean and I watched from afar as Sam told Adam of some of our hunts. Pretty quickly they're conversation turned into "hunting is life" and that you" can't have connections". I did not like Adam joining the hunting squad, I mean, he still had opportunities that we could only dream of. Should we really take that away from him? Dean was speaking with Sam on the matter before he walked out to go look for the monster some more. Of course, I followed him, he shouldn't be doing this by himself. Plus, he seemed to relax some with my company.

Together we searched the tomb where the bodies went missing. I tisked my tongue,"I don't get it we've got to be missing something." We've found nothing in here so far.

"Like what?" My brother asked, beside me, flashing his light around.

"That's just it, I don't know what. Okay," I breathed for a second," first we learn that Kate was drug through a register vent, which is a very closed space-tunnel-like if you will. And then at the motel, we heard it in the vents again–" I thought out loud.

"–Then with the manhole underneath Adam's truck," Dean added to which I nodded, we were getting somewhere.

"Right, this thing likes small places, hide-y holes, or tunnels. Look for a path or something that's easily concealed," I instructed and we went to work. Not even a moment later, Dean struck gold. He removed a large cement block to discover a dirt passage.

After flashing his light in there he turned to me,"Well, ladies first," he smugly smiled.

I squinted," I never got my foot rub."

"Make it a double then," he negotiated.

"Deal, but you're using lotion when you do it," I clapped his shoulder before crawling through the hole before he could protest. Once at the end I dropped a foot or two making me squeak.

"You okay, Julie?" I heard Dee's voice coming through the tunnel.

All I could think of was the putrid smell hitting my nose. I've seen and smelled some of the nastiest rotting corpses, but it never gets any easier to bear," ew," I reply. I hear him mumble" I'll take that as a yes." I waited until Dean came through to continue on.

Together, we found a very smelly, rotting, and mushy puddle of someone. From the bulky black glasses on the floor, we knew it as Joe Barton.

"Sloppy-Joe," my brother joked.

I wacked his arm, making him recoil," Dean! That's rude." He shrugged with a frown. Unbelievable, really. He sees a pile of dead man and that's what he thinks of? Before either of us could react, the sound of dirt filling something draws our focus. The monster closed off our only entrance and exit.

Dean cursed under his breath trying to get a signal on his phone," son of a bitch," he said," no signal."

I sighed," is it too late to say I have to go to the bathroom?"

Dean looked at me with wide-eyes," you have got to be fucking with me."

I chuckled," I'm not. But, there's always another way, so let's find it, yeah?"

We went around the room, trying to kick the doors down, but they weren't budgin'. We explored a side of the room with a coffin. Dean was kicking a skeleton to the side when I opened it and gasped. I had to fight a gag at sight and smell. Kate Milligan was rotting there, with her insides turned to mush. Dean closed it as soon as he could whispering," okay, you've seen enough."

I saw Dee gazing across the room, I followed it, his flash light rested on another coffin. I silently wondered who was inside. I had a hunch, a very painful gut feeling, as to who was in there. Ignoring Dean's objections, I dashed over to it and flung it open. Adam's dead face stared back at me.

I covered my mouth, trying to stifle a cry," oh God..." I fell back into Dean chest. His lips pressed to my hair. I wanted the Adam that we met to be a good guy that we could take in. He was our brother and look where being a Winchester got him. Was there any hope for us three?

"Come on, princess," Dean spoke into my hair. I let out a sob," Sammy needs our help, the monsters have him where they want him, us too." I weakly nodded. Dean was the one to figure out how to escape. I'd climbed on his shoulders and pulled myself up through the ceiling opening, lending him a hand when he needed to be pulled up.

We reentered the Milligan residence. The only thing I wanted now, was to kill whoever was responsible for all of this. Seeing Sam on a table being bled into bucket had my blood boiling. I fired a shot at the monster wearing Adam's skin. I nailed his shoulder. Dean was beside me and nailed his shot into Kate's face, blowing it clean off.

Sam shouted to us while he still could," they're ghouls!"

I nodded," which means head-shot."

Fake Adam lunged at Dean and they quarreled. I ran to Sam while the monster was occupied.

"Jul?" He asked weakly.

I nodded," it's me, Sammy." I cut his bonds and wrapped cloth around his sliced wrists. He was murmuring incoherent words making me worry," come on. Come on. Come on. Hang on. All right, here we go. Hang on, Sammy. All right." I helped him carefully sit up, that's when Dee joined us. Sam didn't look so good from the blood loss.

"Thank you," Sam told us.

Dean looked over my work," that's what family's for, right?," he looked to me," keep pressure on that."

"Remember: two foot rubs, with lotion," I chuckled.

"Two? I-I thought it was just o-one," Sammy stuttered," s-since when did you a-add lotion to the d-d-deal."

"Since Dean's a jerk." I answered.

 **-break-**

"Are you sure we should do this?" Asked Sam beside me, tucking me into his warm side by the shoulder.

Dean spritzed lighter fluid over the covered body of Adam. Traditionally, hunters, in death, were torched. This way, they couldn't come back, unless some monster wanted to go through the trouble of piecing together ashes.

"Ghouls didn't fake those pictures," I started, throat getting painful," they didn't fake dad's journal." I felt Sam use a thumb to caress the top of my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

"Adam was our brother," Dean surprisingly stated," He died like a hunter. He deserves to go out like one." I watched him light the match before tossing it onto the body. The heat of the flames was welcomed on my chilled skin.

I was trying to hide it, but a sniffle slipped, catching the attention of Dean. He stepped closer and rested a hand on my back," Adam didn't deserve to die. He had his whole life ahead of him, but because he was a Winchester..." I paused. I felt the boys try to comfort me," w-what does that mean for us? A-are we fated to die, before we ever get to live? Is there no hope of getting ' _out_ '?"

Dean stepped in front of me, wiping my tears," there's always hope, sweetheart. We're saving people. There are families, kids, dogs, fish, trees, you name it– a lot of it is still here because of what we do. And you can damn-well bet that's one of the thoughts that help me sleep at night."

Sam suggested softly," maybe we can bring him back. Get a hold of Cas, call in a few favors." The thought of Castiel had me missing him.

Dean stepped back beside me, to my right," no, Adam's in a better place."

I hid my face in Sam's side, wanting nothing more than that damn foot rub and a long sleep.

 **-break-**

 **A/N** : I love me some brother moments and pain. ~(˘▾˘~)


	26. Chapter 27

**The Rapture**

 **A/N:** The song is 'Isle of Innisfree' by Frankie McBride

 **-break-**

 _The high sun kissed my skin making it tingle in all the places it touched. My senses were filled with beautiful bird calls, the buzz of bees, the aroma of flowers, and the touch of a breeze. I sighed happily, content with the idea of never leaving this flower field. My golden hair fanned above my head in the grass and poppies. The white of my long dress reflects brightly in the sun._

 _"I've met some folks, who say that I'm a dreamer._

 _And I've no doubt there's truth in what they say," I sang to myself, watching the butterflies dance across my view of the azure sky," I hear the birds make music fit for angels,_

 _From that dear lovely Isle of Inisfree."_

 _"You are absolutely enchanting," a second voice complimented beside me. I sat up with a small gasp, some of the vibrant red poppies still clinging to my hair. Cas was sitting beside me. I had to pull my gaze away from his wings in the sunlight, they seemed to shimmer with many colors._

 _"Cas!" I looked him over. With the way his eyes looked back at me in...adoration? I blushed,"I'm dreaming aren't I?" With Cas here, and place like this, I had to be._

 _"Yes, I'm sorry I startled you, but we need to talk," he informed me. I nodded, scooting over so I was closer to him. I haven't seen my angel in weeks, the distance was starting to physically pain me._

 _"About what?" I asked nervously._

 _Castiel took my hand in his," not here. Someplace more private."_

 _I knitted my brows," someplace more private? We're in my head." How much more private could you get?_

 _"Exactly," he nodded, thumbing my knuckle,"someone could be listening." He looked panicked, afraid even._

 _"Cas, what's wrong?" I fretted. He stayed quiet and looked to the grass below us. I, gently, tilted his head up and placed a single soft kiss to his lips, which he returned after a moment. There, now I've kissed him in my dreams. I pulled away and stared softly into his eyes. He could tell me anything, there was no discrimination coming from me._

 _He didn't break my gaze as he pulled out a slip of paper from his pocket," meet me here." As I looked down and took the paper from his hand he placed a kiss on my forehead. When I looked back up he was gone._

I sat up with a start. I was back in the motel room. I opened my palm, feeling something, to discover the paper Castiel had handed me. Looking to my right, Sam was still fast asleep. I made haste in waking him up and then Dean. I couldn't shake this feeling within me, that my angel was in trouble.

 **-break-**

The address Castiel had given me, led us to an abandon warehouse. We walked through the halls, flashing our lights for any sign of the angel," well what did he say, Julie? What was so important?"

"If I knew, would I be here?" I sassed back. My brothers and I ascended some stairs to discover a very large mess-of-a-room.

"What the hell?" Dean muttered to himself. From the looks of it, something bad happened here. I mean, there were heavy support beams on the ground, the steel walls were ripped, cables hanging from the ceiling, and lights flashed and popped their sockets.

"Looks like a bomb went off," commented my tall brother. Dean tells us that a fight went down here. I'll buy that, but it wasn't a fight between humans–that's for sure.

We walked a little further, Dean's flashlight caught a symbol on the wall. I was shocked to find it was an angel warding symbol, but it was so huge! And not to mention it was drawn in blood," Anna used something like that to send the angels back to the cornfield," Dee remembered.

"So what?" Wonder Sam," Cas was fighting angels?"

I shook my head and sighed a bit," I don't know." I looked away and flashed my light to a pile of rubble, Sam and Dean still looking over the symbol. But just as I was looking the pile over, my eyes caught a strip of tan trench coat," boys," I got their attention, making them look where my flashlight pointed. I scrambled over the debris to get to my soulmate.

"Cas?" I handed Sam my flash light, while I check his pulse. _He's alive_ , but something within me felt off,"Cas. Hey, you need to wake up sweetie." I tried helping him sit up as he stirred awake.

"What's...what's going on?" He wondered. I dropped my hands when he stood by himself. His voice sounded different.

"Just take it easy," my oldest sibling instructed him as Castiel swayed," take it easy."

Castiel looked around the room and used his hands to feel his body, giving me the inclination that he had he lost something," Oh no," he whined.

"Cas, hey," he looked at me," you okay?"

"Ugh, Castiel...," he backed away, making eye contact with me," I'm not Castiel. It's me."

My brows knitted," who's 'me'?" _If he's not Cas, then who the hell is he?_

"J-Jimmy," he said, calming down," my name's Jimmy."oh... _He must be my angel's vessel_ , I could already feel some awkward tension growing between us.

"Where the hell is Castiel?" Dee asked, getting upset.

At Jimmy's reply, I froze," he's gone."

Well he can't be, surely I would've felt something...right? I did however, not feel attracted to this body anymore. _At least I know that I can feel when my Castiel was around or not_. As of right now, there was no trace of my angel in the vessel I have become acquainted with.

 **-break-**

I sat at the table with my brothers and Castiel's vessel while he gorged himself on, at least, half-a-dozen hamburgers. I had grown quiet, thinking to myself since Jimmy's arrival, so I let the boys talk with him. Mostly, I fiddled with the label on my bottled apple juice.

"When's the last time you ate?" Asked Sammy.

"I don't know-months," Jimmy responded around the food.

"What happened back there?"Sammy pressed further," it looked like an angel battle royale." The vessel explains that all he remembered was a flash of light then he was himself again, sort of like magic.

Dean spoke up now," so what? Cas just ditched out of your meat suit?"

"I really don't know," he swallowed down the last bit of burger and took sips of his drink. Sam decided next to ask him a question I was silently dreading: if he remembered anything from being possessed. I mean, did he know about Castiel and I? Was he "awake" when he pressed his lips to mine? And what if this man wasn't okay with that sort of thing? It was his body after all...

"Yeah, bits and pieces," he replied. _Oh God_ , I thought," I mean, angel inside of you, it's kinda like being chained to a comet." That didn't sound pleasant.

"That doesn't sound like much fun," Dean dully noted.

"Understatement," Jimmy agreed then paused. I was still playing with my bottle wrapper when his words caught my attention," her though...I know he is _very_ fond of." I blushed.

"I'm sorry if you're not comfortable with anything," I confessed how I was feeling. It was easy to forget that an angel needed a vessel to occupy for their time on earth. Jimmy was a very handsome human being, which was one of the reasons I'm so infatuated with Castiel-this is the body I know him as. I'm trying really hard to think of them as two separate beings, but it's very difficult.

"Well, whatever you two are up to, he makes sure I stay out of it," he explains, making Sam and Dean look at me questionably. I know dean is assuming the worst over there: that we've had sex, but I'm not ready for that yet," I just feel how he gets when he's around you." I blushed deeper. I was already missing my angel.

Upon being asked, Jimmy says he doesn't have the slightest clue as to what Castiel could've wanted us there for. All he knew was that his name is Jimmy Novak and he is from Pontiac, Illinois.

 **-break-**

We siblings stood outside, at this late hour, by the impala. We thought it best if Jimmy didn't hear our plans," so what do we do?" Asked Sammy.

Dee looked at him like he'd grown a third eye," what do you mean? The guy's got a family, we buy him a bus ticket, send him home."

I shifted my weight,unsure," I don't know about that. Dean, he's the only lead we've got." We needed to find Cas...well, more like _I_ needed to find Cas.

My brother looked to me," he doesn't know anything."

I slightly shrugged," are you one-hundred percent on that?"

My words made Dean squint at me," You think he's lying? What? You gonna go Guantanamo on the guy?"

I tried again, pulling at strings," Dean, maybe he doesn't even know what he knows."

His lip curled in thought, trying to understand what I meant," huh?"

I tried once more at an alternative suggestion," I say, at least, we get him to Bobby's. Maybe all he needs is hypnosis or a psychic. Or hell, maybe Cas will just drop back into him." It was wishful thinking, but I'm getting desperate. I even tried praying to Castiel, but he isn't answering.

Dean sighed looking at the floor," I don't know, princess. I know the angel is really important to you, or somethin' like that, but Jimmy's got a life."

I rolled my eyes,"Cas is important to you too, Dee. I know that when he pulled you out of hell, you've got this... _connection_...," I trailed off," he's like family to you." From my observation of the two, Dean was left speechless and looked at the ground, scuffing his feet on the asphalt in thought.

Sam took his chance to add,"Dean, back there, that was angel-on-angel violence. Now, I don't know what's going on, but it's big. And we can't just let the only lead we got just skip out." At least someone was on my side. Our short brother goes on to reminds us that our job is saving people; getting them back to their families, in other words.

"You think I don't wanna help him?" I bit," I'm trying to be rational here, if anything we'd be _helping_ him!"

"How?" Dean asked back quickly.

"Dee, if we wanna question the guy, you can damn well bet he demons do too," I proposed in answer, making Dean sigh once more. He knew I was right, a silence filled the three of us before I added," now, I'm freezing my ass off, can we please go inside?" I complained. With a hand thrown around my shoulder from Dean, we walked back into the building.

Jimmy was not a happy camper to learn he couldn't go home and he was very skeptical to the idea that demons wanted something to do with him.

"My body has been dragged all over the Earth and by some miracle, I'm out, and I am _done_. I've given enough, okay?" He exasperated.

I scratched the back of my neck before telling him straight that,"all we're saying is that until we figure this out, the safest place is with us."

Jimmy blinked, looked out the window then back at me with a set jaw,"how long?"

I stared back," we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Displeased with my answer, he shook his head and tried to get around Sam for the door.

"Where are you going?" Dean barked in question.

"To see my wife and daughter, okay?" He didn't look back. Thankfully, my giraffe-of-a-brother blocked his path.

"No, you're not. You're just going to put those people in danger," he decreed gently.

I heard Jimmy reply to Sam's words," so, what? Now I'm a prisoner?"

"Harsh way to put it," I softly responded before Sam could. It was sad that he couldn't see his family again, but we really couldn't risk him getting out, and the safest he'll truly be, is with us.

 **-break-**

I braided my hair grumpily on one of the beds. Thanks to my lovely brother Sam, the morning was getting started early, because someone (cough cough) Sam, let Jimmy get away during the night. Sam's excuse was that he was getting a drink from the vending machine. I hope for his sake, it was worth it. Now, we had to track Jimmy down.

Sam was speedily packing a bag while Dean took his sweet time in the bathroom," Dean! Would you hurry up!" Sam shouted.

Just then said, short brother, walks out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth, chuckling. His chest vibrated making the necklace Sam had got him, and the hummingbird charm there, bounce.

"Sorry uh, is this funny to you?" Sam shot at him.

My brother removed the brush and spoke around the foam," Mr. Big-Bad-Prison-Guard, Jimmy McMook give you the slip? Yeah, it's pretty funny. What were you doing, anyway?"

Sam halted his packing and spoke through his teeth to answer," I was getting a coke."

"Oh," I voiced," was it a refreshing coke?" My eyes narrowed at him.

He looked back at me flatly," can we just go, please?"

We'd been driving for a solid thirty minutes. Dean's radio was turned off a mile back, by Sam. The silence in the car was foreign, but not unwelcome. I watched the scenery pass out the window.

"Hey guys," a female voice came from no where, beside me. Dean jumped and swerved into the other lane, but we all regain our composure at who the voice belonged to," smooth." She commented on his driving.

"You ever try calling ahead?" I panted, removing the hand from my rapidly beating heart. In answer, she tells me she likes the element of surprise.

Dean looks back at her and smirked, looking her up and down as best he can while driving," well, you look terrific." I rolled my eyes. How could I forget? Dean and Anna have previously hooked up.

Anna shifted in her seat,"Um, yeah, not the most appropriate time, Dean. You let Jimmy get away?" She looked over us.

I scoffed," talk to the giraffe over there," I gestured to Sam, making Anna look at him expectantly.

"Sam," she greeted then hesitated," you seem...different." What did she mean? He looked the same as he always did.

"Me?" My brother asked back, _well who else would she be taking about_?" I don't know, uh, haircut?"

"That's not what I'm talking about,"she shared a look with Sam that I couldn't read, but there was something deep she was trying to convey. _Hmm_. She turned her attention to me before I could ask anything," so what'd Jimmy tell you, did he remember anything?"

"Why? What's going on? I've been praying to Cas, but he's not answering," my panic started to show through more than I would've liked.

She nodded," he got sent back home, well, more like _dragged_ back."

"To heaven? That's a bad thing?" I wondered.

"Yes, it's a very bad thing, painfully, awfully bad. It's a good thing you haven't completed the process, you'd be feeling it too," I gulped at that," he must've seriously pissed someone off," she looked back out the dashboard. The thought of my Castiel in pain made me anxious and angry.

"Cas said he had something to tell me, something important," I told her.

She looked at me curiously," what?"

I shook my head," I don't know."

"Does Jimmy know about it?" She asked us.

"I don't think so," Dee replied.

Anna blinked," you don't think so? Whatever it is, it's huge. You gotta find out for sure."

Sam stated next," that's why we're going after Jimmy." He gestured to the road before us.

"That's why you shouldn't have let him go in the first place," she sighed and looked forward," he's probably dead already."

I shook my head instantly," don't say that." Jimmy was the vessel of my angel, it would hurt me if he died. Admittedly, it was a little taboo even for me that Jimmy was inside there, but that's the body of the only Cas I know. If he couldn't have his vessel, I suppose I could settle for his true form, if I can even _see_ it, that is.

 **-break-**

Once we entered Pontiac, it wasn't hard to find Jimmy Novak's home. He was listed in the phone book for multiple church services. We entered through the back, noticing no one in the home through the windows. Sure enough, when we entered, a demon had Jimmy's daughter with a blade at her throat. I went up behind him and slit his throat with the demon knife. Sam went to work on trying to exorcise an extra demon with his powers, letting the Novak family run out the door. Before he could exorcise her, however, the demon left her body and out the window, a very cowardly thing to do.

We met back up with Jimmy and his family at the impala. We quickly hopped in, me sitting into between my brothers, and sped off.

A parking garage was the closest safe spot where we could have a talk with Jimmy. His wife stayed in the back seat with his sleeping daughter, Claire. If felt weird to see him with someone else, but there was no Cas to make his decisions, so I guess I could level with that.

"You were right," Jimmy told us.

"It sucks that we were, I'm sorry for that," I apologized. He offered me a small smile. _Dammit_. There it was again, _this was Jimmy, not Castiel_. I could find Castiel attractive all I wanted, but only as long as he was in his vessel. Anything else would be weird for Jimmy and his wife." Even though you don't know anything, you're Castiel's vessel; they're gonna want to find out what makes you tick."

"Which means vivisection, if they're feeling generous," Dean made a poor jab at being funny.

Sam stood up straight and authoritatively,"I'm gonna tell you once again, you're putting your family in danger. You have to come with us."

The man shook his head," how long? And don't give me that "cross that bridge when we get to it" crap." His words snapped something in Sam, making me jump.

"Don't you get it? _Forever_ ," my brother bit," The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So you either get as far away from them as possible or you put a bullet in your head," I gaped at him for that. You don't just tell someone that, that's extremely disrespectful.

He continued,"And that's how you keep your family safe. But there's no getting out and there's no going home."

Dean and I shared a glance. Sam seemed tense and on edge for the past couple of days for no reason. Sam's words were very true, no matter how much we wanted to deny it, we couldn't. Jimmy had been reduced to silence at his little speech," well, don't sugarcoat it, Sam." Dee warned him too late.

"I'm just telling him the truth, Dean-someone has to," my tall brother calmed down a little more.

I watched Jimmy look to the ground, sadly. It was so hard to see him partake in expressions I was accustomed to with Cas. He nodded before slowly walking back to the car to speak with his wife. While he did I shared some words with my brothers.

Before long, we were off again, this time, the vessel of Castiel rode among us. I stayed glued to my side of the car seat, not wanting to go anywhere near Jimmy. We weren't even ten minutes into driving and I was out like a light.

My peaceful sleep was short lived when my pocket started to vibrate and ring. I picked it up and answered, sleepily. A females voice came through that I didn't recognize," hello?...who is this?" My brothers watched me in the rear-view mirror. The caller was Amelia, Jimmy's wife. I had momentarily forgot that I had given her my number if she needed anything. Now, she was asking for her husband.

I gently nudged the sleeping man beside me," Jimmy," I called, making him stir," it's your wife." I handed him the phone and he blinked the sleep from his eyes.

"Amelia," he greeted. There was a pause until his next words left his lips in a whisper," oh my God."

 **-break-**

We pulled into yet another abandon warehouse. I was beginning to think that all things angel and demon happen there, perhaps my brothers and I should steer clear of them from now on. We stepped out quickly and immediately began briefing Jimmy on how this is gonna play out. We can't half-ass this: there's two innocent people we need to save in there.

Dean started,"Alright, they're expecting you to come alone. That's exactly what you're gonna do."

"We'll work our way through the catwalks. We'll be right behind you," Sammy assured him, putting his hands in his jean pockets.

I spoke last," all you gotta do is stay calm and stall. Let us do our job." He turned to me in a panic.

His eyes were wide,"You want me to stay calm? This is my family we're talking about!" He gulped. I get his family was in danger, but he shouldn't aim his anger at me.

My eyes flickered in anger," Listen to me, this will work. You understand? Nobody's gonna get hurt."

He shook his head and used a hand to dismiss me," yeah, whatever, give me a minute okay?" While he went off by himself I huffed. _At least Castiel and I get along_.

Sam spoke in his absence," There's no way they're expecting him to come alone, Dean. You know this is probably a trap."

Dean gave a smile that I wasn't sure if I trusted," yeah, I know. That's why I have a plan."

I quirked a brow an leaned against the impala," oh great, now I feel loads better," I unenthusiastically made known.

Dean's plan was absolute shit. While we had our backs turned, four demons got the drop on us from behind. I was currently being dragged, rather painfully, by my hair into the warehouse. I gave the demon who had a hold of me a hard time, Sam needed two demons to hold him down, in any other situation I'd be laughing.

"That was a _shit_ plan, Dee," I squirmed. We didn't even have time to administer the plan.

"Watch you mouth," he grunted,"nobody bats a thousand."

The demon in Amelia steps forward, Jimmy behind her, looking very put-out," got the knife?"

The older-man-demon who fists my hair, holds up the demon knife for her to see. She looks very pleased with herself.

She continues," and you know what's funny?"

I scoffed," you wearing a soccer mom?" I jabbed, which she ignored.

"Is I was actually bummed to get this detail, picking up an empty vessel. Sort of like a milk run. Now look who landed in my lap," demon Amelia looked over all of us.

I heard Sammy sigh," yeah well, you got us okay? Let these people go," he gestured with his eyes to Jimmy, Claire, and Amelia.

Demon Amelia pointed in fake pity,"oh, Sam, it's really easy to act chivalrous when your Wonder Girl powers aren't working, huh?" She gave Sam a look I couldn't comprehend. _What did she mean by that?_ She continued,"Now for the punch line. Everybody dies-" without a second thought she aims her pistol at me. I do nothing, but raise my chin and stare down the barrel. I see Amelia tilt her head before turning her back and firing the shot into Jimmy's abdomen.

My eyes widened," no!" He wasn't just the vessel of my soulmate, he was an innocent man, he was a husband, and a father. Claire needed him to be alive. My brothers and I try and squirm our way out of this even more, but our captors aren't giving in.

Demon Amelia turns back to a demon on Sam," waste Little Orphan Annie." At her demand, a demon walks away from Sam and up to the unconscious Claire.

"You stay away from her!" I growled. If no one was going to be her voice, I would," she's a child, you can't do this! You animals!" I threw my head back into the gut of my captor making him groan, however, he still held my hair. As the man hovering over Claire pulled a heavy pipe above his head, I couldn't look away. I was frozen in place, this was actually happening.

I thought I was seeing things when the little girl woke up and stopped the pipe from coming down. She had more force than a child her age should. I watched throw the pipe aside and place a palm to his forehead, emitting s bright light...exorcising him. _Cas_. Without missing a beat, my brothers and I scrambled to use the distraction to our advantage.

I grabbed the man's hand. Above my head, twisting my torso down, and body slamming the demon who had my hair. He and I quarreled, trading hits and misses. He dropped the demon knife, I snatched it up quickly and jammed the weapon through the demons chest when he came down on top of me. I looked around, stuck under the weight of this dead man. I saw Sam struggling.

"Sammy!" I called, getting his attention. I tossed the knife towards him, which he flawlessly caught. I caught a glimpse of a flash of pure light to my right. The body that trapped me down was rolled off of me suddenly, letting the body of a little girl be seen. I felt the familiar pull to Castiel within her. Claire even had the black bird wings attached to her back. Castiel definitely needed to be in the vessel of someone who was _not_ a little girl if we were going to be kissing or taking this process further.

She offered a hand and a small smile which I gladly took. I stood with my brother and Cas, watching Sammy fight a demon. He was doing pretty good on his own until...my mouth opened in shock.

Sam was drinking that demon's blood! He sat up quickly and looked to us,having been caught, a primal glint in his eyes. The deep red liquid all over his mouth, dripped down his shirt. This definitely isn't the Sam I knew two years ago.

He stood, raising his exorcising hand at Dean, making my brother's eyes go wide. Just when I was wondering why Sam would his his powers on Dean, I spotted Amelia coughing up black plumes of smoke. They black mass ambled around her ankles before sizzling into the concrete floor; back into the fiery pits of damnation.

I rushed to help Amelia Novak. She was frantic and felt horrible from the exorcism. I hadn't noticed Castiel walked over the the dying Jimmy until we stepped back into view of him. I was holding Amelia to me, I heard her breath hitch at the sight of her husband. It was almost hard for me to look at as well. I never wanted to see Castiel looking like that. We couldn't hear their conversation, but we could infer when Castiel pressed a hand to Jimmy's cheek, pure white light encompassed Jimmy. When the light was gone, Claire was herself again and I felt Castiel in Jimmy's body. Wings and all. As he stood, he healed before our eyes, and walked closer, making eye contact with me, Amelia left me to console her crying daughter. I didn't miss her look of thanks back to Cas.

I noticed Castiel starting to walk away, I called to him," Cas, hold up." He turned back to me, my brothers watching now.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?" I asked referring back to the dream.

"I learned my lesson while I was away," the familiar deep voice he had differentiated him from his vessel," I serve heaven I don't serve man." He looked at Dean now," and I certainly don't serve you." Before I could stop him again he was walking away for good.

 **-break-**

On the way to our motel we had to stop at a gas station. While Sam went inside, Dean and I quickly had a talk about Sam. With Bobby on speaker, before Sam could get back we decided that the demon blood could be treated like an addiction. He needed to be quarantined while he worked out his withdraws. Just as planned, Bobby had called Sam while we were on the rode, telling him to shag ass to his place because of a demon problem.

Bobby fibbed and told my brother that the demon was being kept in the panic room. I trailed behind, knowing how this was going to go down. Sam was the only one to step into the room when Bobby and Dean slammed the hatch shut.

"Guys," Sam spoke through the peek-hole," hey." My eyes started to water. Bobby closed the peek-hole, making Sam's voice muffled. "Guys this isn't funny!" His anger rose from the other side.

"It's for your own good," Bobby yelled over his screams.

"Guys!" My brother roared from inside the chamber. I already couldn't take it anymore. I turned on my heel and rushed up to my room within Bobby's house.

Once in my room I closed the door and looked to the floor, eyes welling with tears. I didn't want them to spill out, I was finished with crying, but Sam's bellows throughout the house were making it hard.

"It's for the best," comforted a new voice in my room. I looked up and saw the silhouette of my angel; wings neatly folded behind his back.

I hiccuped," this is not a good time Cas-my brother won't be very happy if he knows you came to see me." I remembered how he had let Dean know that he wasn't his maid. I looked away from him as he stepped closer. I could feel his breath fan over my face.

"Cas," I warned him. I recalled how Jimmy was in there and how I had just seen him with his wife and daughter hours ago.

"Jimmy is currently in a dream-like state. Anything he wishes to have, is his. I think, right now, he's attending a church service," Castiel told me. If this was his try at a joke, it wasn't working. I still hadn't met his eyes.

"Did you just read my mind?" I thought I told him he needed permission to do that.

"No," he said," but I know that's one of the concerns you carry, I can see it-" he observed my face,"- _look at me_ ," he whispered.

I took a breath, before raising my teary eyes slowly to his. He cupped my cheek," I...don't like seeing you cry. It makes me feel..." he trailed off. He repeated with a bit more triumph,"it makes me _feel._ "

I cracked a small smile at that," feeling is a good thing." I stared into his blue orbs and he stared back," I tried praying to you and I didn't hear anything back...I-I thought you were dead." Just the thought of him not being around anymore, and all of the events that have taken place were finally weighing down on me. My lip quivered.

I saw and felt his black wings encompass me, hiding me from reality,"come here, love."His wings pulled me closer to him. I really wanted to reach out and pet them, to feel if they were as soft under my fingertips as I imagined, but I didn't. His arms wrapped around my waist in a hug, I returned it tightly, fearing he could disappear at any moment (which he could).

"Heaven is ruthless in their torture. When they dragged me back, their alter motive was to cut me off from you," he moved my hair away from my neck and nuzzled there," I'm sorry I caused your mind to worry, Julie."

I sniffled,"it's okay, Cas. You're here now, that's all that matters." He pulled back and wiped my cheeks tenderly. Another shout echoed through the floorboards, making my heart skip a beat.

"If Sam remains locked up, he _will_ lose his urge for the demon blood. It will work," Castiel offered. That was good news.

"I hope so, that's _if_ the withdraws don't kill him first," I flatly made known. My angel said nothing, but look unto me, sorrowfully, wishing he could do more.

His eyes shot to the door," Dean is coming. I'll be watching over you." He removed his wings and started to raise them up.

A tiny smile slipped through me,"see you around, angel." With that his wings sharply came to the ground and he was gone with a blink. The door behind me opened, it was Dean.

"Who are you talking to?" He wondered looking around the room. Sam's screams in the background were trying to be ignored by the both of us.

I rolled my eyes," myself. I'm going insane, Dee, I could give you a run for your money."

He chuckled a bit," yeah I bet," and dropped the subject. He laid with me in my bed, trying to talk to me to help me forget about our miserable brother. This method of quarantine had to work.

 **-break-**

 **A/N** : This chapter wasn't my fav, but I suppose it'll do :). Stay safe you guys!


	27. Chapter 28

**When The Levee Breaks**

 **A/N** : After the next chapter I will be doing a short hiatus so that I can make sure my plot is compatible with season five. lol you may notice I've replaced the word "-break-" with a line... _I'm learning as I go!_

 **word count** : ~3,900

* * *

I gulped, staring off into the kitchen. Sam's screams never seemed to stop. And he wasn't just screaming, he was talking...to himself. Sometimes he was calm, others he was behaving and acting like he was genuinely being tortured.

My blonde hair stuck out at odd ends, in it's bun, from the sleepless night. I probably had bags under my eyes, and I haven't eaten since yesterday night. I almost hadn't noticed Dean walking over to me with a glass of whiskey. I looked at the glass, pondering if I should. I normally don't drink. There are other ways to have fun when my brothers leave for bars.

But God help me, I took that glass and downed it. Feeling unsatisfied, I eyed Dean's glass as he raised it to his lips. Before he could reach it there I snatched it and downed it as well, the liquid burning all the way down. I held it back for him to take. He looked at me with his brows raised.

"If you wanted more, all you had to do was ask," he made known.

I shook my head," no thanks, I'm good." Just then another ear piercing bellow, sounded through the halls.

I heard Dean sigh," how long is this gonna go on?"

Bobby slouched. He was as pained as we were,"Here, let me look it up in my demon-detox manual-" he reached for a book that wasn't there"-Oh wait. No one ever _wrote_ one. No telling how long it'll take. Hell, or if Sam will even live through it." I closed my eyes. I did not want to even think about that possibility.

Just then Bobby's phone rang. He picked it up," hello?..." he rolled his eyes," suck dirt and die, Rufus. You call me again, I'll kill you." He slammed the phone back into it's dock.

I needed to get my mind off of Sam," what's up with Rufus?" I asked.

Bobby looked at me," he _knows_ ," he widened his eyes for emphasis. That's great. I thought the whole apocalypse thing was just between us, but I guess not. The phone rings again, its Rufus once more. Whatever he said this time, made Bobby go quiet and start pulling out lore books. He hung up and handed us a few papers.

I looked over the paper he handed me," this is what Rufus called you about? 'Key West sees ten species go extinct'?" Extinction does occur naturally in the wild, but that's usually one to five species a year, but ten species in _one_ day? That's a neon sign for the apocalypse.

My surrogate father nods and adds," Plus Alaska. Fifteen-man fishing crew all stricken blind, cause unknown. New York, teacher goes postal, locks the door, kills exactly sixty-six kids. All this in a single day," with stuff like that going on they had to be seals. Bobby answered the question I knew was on both Dean and I's minds, nodding as he did,"I looked them up. There's no doubt about it. They're all seals. Breaking. _Fast_."

Dean wonders aloud how many are left. Bobby tells him that there's no way to know that, but it has to be very few.

"Where the hell are your angel pals?" Bobby asked us.

Dee shook his head, pacing, and looked to me," you tell me. Has Cas told you anything since Illinois?"

Just as I was about to answer Bobby asked something I wasn't prepared for," what would he be speaking directly to her for?"

Dean crossed his arms with a smirk," oh, this'll be good."

"I...uh," I stuttered. I forgot that I haven't mentioned my relationship with Castiel, to Bobby yet." Cas and I..." I felt a blush heating up my face," we're kind of soulmates?" It sounded like a question.

Bobby stared at me blankly," what the hell's that mean?"

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die there," it _means_ , whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same. I can see his wings and we've already accepted each other for being what we are." I came clean," before you go all dad-mode on me, just know that he'd look after me with his life. Dean's already scared the shit out of him with his speech, so you can spare him that detail." I reclined back into the couch.

"Well then, I'll just have to give him a speech so that he _remembers_ it," Bobby observed me in thought, making me shift," just be careful, kid."

I offered a half smile," always."

Bobby looks back to Dean," there is one thing I can't quit thinkin' about."

"What's that?" Dean asked, sitting down beside me.

"The apocalypse being nigh and all...is now really the right time to be having this little domestic drama of ours?" I watched my surrogate fiddle nervously with his fingers.

"What do you mean?" Further asked my brother.

"Well, I don't like this any more than you two do, but Sam can kill demons. He's got a shot at stopping Armageddon," he started confessing his thoughts. Was he suggesting that we let Sam drink demon blood to use him as a weapon?

I scowled," so what? Sacrifice Sam's life, his soul, for the greater good?" _How is that a good idea?_

Dean caught on and added, getting upset,"Is that what you're saying? Times are bad, so let's use Sam as a nuclear warhead?"

Bobby held his hands up in defense,"Look, I know you hate me for suggesting it. _I_ hate me for suggesting it. I love that boy like a son," he paused, letting that sink in," All I'm saying is maybe he's here, right now, instead of on the battlefield, because we love him too much."

I thought about his answer. Maybe...maybe he was right. Look what keeping him here is doing to Sam, was it really the time to be doing this?

* * *

 **Third person Limited-Dean**

Dean stood in the moonlit salvage yard for hours. Screaming, cursing, and doing anything he could to provoke Castiel to come down from the heavens. Just as the man had given up he heard a flap of wings behind him. Sure enough, the angel had come.

Dean's voice was croaky and he appeared on the edge of tears,"Well, it's about time. I've been screaming myself hoarse out here for about two and a half hours now!"

"What do you want?" the angel got straight to the point, walking closer to him, until, he was almost too close. Dean tells him that he can start with the events in Illinois.

"You were gonna tell Julie something. I don't think you said what you really found out, cut the crap, Cas," the Winchester boy saw through the angel's charade.

Castiel looked away," well, it was nothing of import."

Dean squinted, accusingly," You got ass-reamed in heaven, but it was _not of import_?" The man was strongly disbelieving that was the whole truth.

Something in the angel seemed to snap,"Dean, I _can't_." Dean could see it in the angels eyes that he really couldn't, there was even traces of fear in those ocean-blue pools. Dean dropped it, but Castiel continued," I'm sorry. Get to the reason you really called me. It's about Sam, right?" Castiel walked away to lean against a busted up car.

Dean took his chance to ask the angel if Sam could really kill Lilith. It worried the man to find out that it was very possible that Sammy could, but the amount of demon blood he'd need, to do so, would change him forever. Sam would turn into something that Winchesters hunt. Was that something Dean could live with? What about his sister? Could she forgive him for letting that happen? She was already at her wits end inside the house.

Castiel stepped closer," we believe it's you, Dean, not your brother." He let slip a heavenly plan,"The only question for us is whether you're willing to accept it. Stand up and accept your role. You are the one who _will_ stop it." The angel sounded so sure, but Dean? How could one man, one mortal, pathetic, and broken man save the world, just as he is?

Dean looked around the yard in thought," if I do this...Sammy doesn't have to?"

"If it gives you comfort to see it that way," heaven's soldier responded, he soundly awfully one-sided.

Dean bit his lip, trying to suppress his anger," God, you're a dick these days." He stepped away, walking it off. He looked to night sky and sighed," fine. I'm in."

"You give yourself over wholly to the service of God and his angels?" Questioned he.

The Winchester rolled his eyes," yeah. Exactly."

"Say it."

Dean looked back at Castiel, seeing his almost pleading stare. Was he really ready to do this? His answer was either yes, or no, there was no hesitant 'yeah' or a slightly unsure 'exactly'.

Dean walked back, a little more determination in his steps," I give myself over wholly to serve God and you guys."

Castiel continued the oath,"You swear to follow his will and his word as swiftly and obediently as you did your own father's?"

Dean eyes squinted slightly, but nonetheless he complied," yes, I swear." He shared a look with Castiel, hoping what he'd just sworn was a good idea.

"Now you wait, and we call on you when it's time," Cas promised. Dean swallowed, praying, for once, that everything was going to be okay.

* * *

 **First person limited- Julie**

Well, Dean officially signed himself over to the God-Squad. In hindsight, I wouldn't put it past him, he'd do anything to have his siblings spared.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you willingly signed up to be the angel's 'bitch'?" Bobby tried to wrap his mind around this.

Both Dean and I gave him a look. _The angels weren't all bad, I mean, look at Castiel for example._ Bobby continued," I'm sorry, you prefer 'sucker'? After everything you said about them, now you trust them?"

Dee bit his lip, walking closer from leaning against the door frame,"Come on, give me a little credit, Bobby. I've never trusted them less. I mean, they come on like shady politicians from planet Vulcan!"

"Then why in the hell did you–" my brother interjected.

"Because what other option do we have? It's either trust the angels or let Sammy trust a _demon_?" He was right, when has a demon done any good for us?

Bobby looked to the wood floor in shame," I see your point."

I sighed and closed my eyes, relishing in the silence for a moment. Wait a minute. _Silence_. My eyes opened wide with a tiny gasp,"do you guys hear that?" Hoping they caught on. From their facial expressions, they did.

"Yeah, that sounds like a little too much nothin'," like lightening, we mad-dashed our way to the panic room. Dean and Bobby took both sides of the peek-hole. I had to use both of their shoulders to hoist myself up to get a look. _Curse being short!_

My heart shattered at the sight. Sammy was writhing on the floor, making sickening jerks and quick movements. It looked like he was having a seizure.

"What if he's faking?" Dean quickly asked.

"You think he really would?" Bobby replied. I was skeptical, faking to this degree would take _a lot_ of practice.

Dean says he thinks Sam would do anything to try and get out. He's a smart kid, he defiantly knows what our weak spots are. Suddenly Sam's body is flung against the wall.

"Not faking!" I exclaimed. We made quick work of opening the heavy door to get in the room. It took all of us to help bring Sam back to the bed. I held his legs while Dean and Bobby held his arms. Sammy looked so helpless, it made tears prick at my lids.

Bobby shoved his belt in Sammy's mouth,"We're gonna have to tie him down for his own safety," he looked at my brother who was glued to Sam's face like I had been,"Dean? You with me? Dean!" He got his attention," Before he has another fit!"

"Yeah yeah, lets just get this over with," Dean complied. Together we cuffed Sam's appendages to the bed. His fit seemed to stop while we worked. Once again, we left the room to leave Sam to dry out

* * *

I bit my thumbnail while looking out the window. Spotting a tiny black mass of feathers, I blinked at it. I haven't seen that little blackbird in quite some time. Guess where ever Cas is, he's too busy to check-in in person. It's presence brought me a form of comfort.

I turned back to Bobby and Dean," are we absolutely sure, we're doing the right thing?"

Bobby breathed a sigh of relief," I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way."

"Juls, you saw what was happening to him down there. The demon blood is killing him," my oldest brother argued.

"No it isn't," started Bobby," we are."

"What?" Dee was taken aback.

"I'm sorry, but I can't hold my tongue any longer: _we_ are killing him. Keeping him locked up down there. This cold-turkey thing isn't working," Bobby took a breath,"If—if he doesn't get what he needs, soon, Sam's not gonna last much longer."

I bit the inside of my cheek at that. Cas said he would be okay, he just needs to throw a fit first. If Castiel is wrong on this one, he's got a world of hurt coming his way from me. Dean ensures that he's very adamant on not giving our brother demon blood.

"And if Sammy dies?" I questioned, eyes big and teary.

Dean looked so hurt to have to say these things, he looked on the edge of tears as well," then at least our brother dies _human_!"

Bobby and I watched Dean continue with lumps in our throat,"I would die for him in a second, but I won't let him do this to himself. I can't. I guess I found my line. I won't let my brother turn into a monster."

Later I was able to eat an apple, but nothing much else. Sam's screams never stopped; by two in the morning they were the lullaby that dragged me to sleep on top of Dean, on the couch. It was a surprise when we awoke to silence. Sam had gone. And by gone I mean, he was no where to be _found._

The panic room door was locked shut and multiple demons traps were busted. Our guess was Ruby. Although I had no clue how she was able to manage breaking in like that.

With a lead on where Sam was headed, Dean and I packed for the road to Ruby. I wanted her dead, even if this wasn't her doing, she's corrupted Sam's mind. She wasn't healthy for him, she needed cut out of the picture.

I tread silently behind Dean when we arrived to the motel Sam had booked. A honey moon suite, something he'd never pick, which is exactly what he did. Once the way was clear, we entered the room without a sound. Sure enough, there was Ruby. She hadn't even heard us come in.

Last minute she turned on Dean, and he barely made a scratched on her. I was ready to step in, in case she decided to run for it. Out of no where, Sam halted Dean's knife that was so close to being plunged into the demon's chest, taking the it away from Dean.

"Just take it easy," Sam wanted, standing in front of Ruby.

Dean had a fire in his eyes,"Well, it must've been some party you two had going, considering how hard you tried to keep us from crashing it. Well, solid try, but here we are," he holds his arms out to gesture to himself and me.

"Look let's just talk about this," Sam made efforts to sound calm.

"Soon as she's dead, we can talk all you want," I now said my piece. Sam looked at me with hurt. I didn't care. Ruby wasn't good for him. Sam quickly told Ruby to scram and she did, like an obedient little bitch.

I seethed," Sam, she's poison!"

"It's not what you think, Jul," Sammy tried to defend. He was grasping at straws by this point. There's not much he could say to sway my mind into thinking that Ruby is good for him.

I decided to defend my statement,"Look what she did to you, Sammy! I mean, she up and vanishes weeks at a time, leaves you cracking out for another hit—"

He interrupted me,"–she was looking for Lilith." That excuse wasn't good enough anymore. Sam only wanted Lilith for revenge when she killed Dean. But he's back now, alive and kicking. We could do this together, no demons involved.

Dean scoffed," that is French for manipulating your ass ten ways from Sunday." Dean stared at our brother with care in his eyes," Sammy, we just _want_ you to be okay. You would do the same for us, you know you would."

"Just listen," Sam realized he still held the demon knife out and tossed it on the lavish bed. Our brother informs us that he's got a lead on Lilith. He says we can do this together.

I supported Dean when he said," that sounds great," Sam looked relieved for a moment until he went on," as long as it's us and Jul. Demon bitch is a deal breaker."

Sam bit his lip," I can't," he confessed after a moment. I felt the familiar lump building in my throat. At his response, Dee turned around and chewed his lip. He didn't like fighting with Sammy, hell, I never liked watching it. The thing was, is it was _always_ between them, I just get hurt in the cross fire.

"I'm the only one who can do this, Dean," Sam was bubbling in rage, but he tamed it down as best he could. My oldest brother tells him that he can't do it," oh right, I forgot. The angels think it's you."

"You don't think I can?" Dean challenged. I did not like where this was heading.

"Boys, you're getting pretty heated. How about we sit down, and negotiate something else," I suggested, but it was like I was chopped liver.

"No. You can't. You're not strong enough," Sam bit at Dean," Look. My whole life, _you_ take the wheel, _you_ call the shots, and I trust you because _you_ are my brother. Now I'm asking you, for once, trust me."

"No, you don't know what you're doing, Sam."

" _Yes I do_."

"Then that's worse!"

I didn't know what to do, this was escalating quickly and, though I may be handy with a weapon, I'm powerless to stop these two when they get rolling. They're like trains off their rails: I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to. But I have hope, and that's what keeps me level headed here.

"Why?" Sam wondered," Look, I'm telling you–"

I really don't think Dean thought his next words through,"Because it's not something that you're doing, it's what you _are_! It means–" _no. He didn't mean that_. His sentence finished itself in my head.

A tear rolled down my cheek,"boys, please." I was begging now," Dean, you don't mean that."

I saw Sammy acknowledge me for a moment," say it." His eyes welled with tears.

Dean was playing with fire now," it means, _you're a monster_." I didn't expect him to fully say it. I shouldn't have jumped as bad as I did when Sammy threw the first punch. It was powerful enough to land Dean on his back.

"Dee," I called weakly.

He stood, tear rolling down his face like myself," Julie, get out of here."

"I'm not leaving you," I did step back a bit. Then Dean threw a retaliating punch.

I jumped and watched with fear as they tackled each other, trading punches. They made quick work of destroying this beautiful room. What filled me with fear most was that Sam was dominating the floor. I watched Dean get kicked over onto the floor. Seeing his opportunity Sam walked to Dean and placed his large hands over Dee's throat.

That's where I draw the line. I scrambled over to Dean's aid," Sammy no!" I cried I tried to pry his hand off, but they might as well have been glued there," Sammy, you're not a freak! This is not you, bubby! Please, stop!" But he didn't. It was almost like he couldn't see me. I brought my hand to his face and tried to give him a good slap. When I did, he brought his hand back and his fist landed square in my face. I was flung back to the floor, glass clinking under my weight. I saw darkness for a few seconds, then pain enveloped my senses, originating at my nose.

When I looked up I saw Sam, watching me with tears in his eyes. He didn't mean it. His lip quivered before he stood. He just looked away. I sobbed to myself on the floor, feeling that I was the weakest one here. I didn't want to even look at Sam; I'm not even entirely sure if this was our brother anymore. Sam went to leave.

"If you walk out that door," Dean's voice was hoarse and tired," don't you ever...come back!" If Sam did anything at that, I missed it. With the slam of a door, I knew he had walked out. He had walked out on _us_.

I heard Dean struggling to crawl over to me,"Jul," he hovered over me, looking at my bloody nose," c'mon sweetheart," he cooed, trying to help me sit up. He ripped a piece of his own shirt and held it to my nose.

I threw weak fists at his chest, wanting to push him away, but I just couldn't," w-why do you have to fight all the t-time?" I hiccuped," y-you weren't supposed to push him away!"

All he did was clutch me more to his chest and let me weep there,"I know. I'm so sorry, Jul."

* * *

 **A/N** : It was really hard to make the conversation between Cas and Dean "brotherly". I ship Destiel hardcore so...that was a bit of a challenge.

also: props to you if you caught the Jane Eyre quote ;D.


	28. Chapter 29

**Lucifer Rising**

 **A/N** : So this is a bit of "finale" so it's a little lengthy. My hiatus should be a, at least, two or three weeks. When I come back, you'll have (should have) three new chapters to dig into. I'll see you all in a week or so! (I'll still check my inbox and reviews ;))

 **Word count** : ~6,800

 _-Enjoy!_

* * *

"Dean?" I tried calling my brother back to reality. Since Sam left, he's been out of it,"Dean! Did you hear anything I just said?!"

He faced me a little," yeah, I heard you. I'm not calling him." I rolled my eyes and raised my hands into the air, giving up. Bobby took over for me. He wore a warm vest for this cold season, Dean sported a heavy, darkly colored jacket, and I, a warm sweater.

"Don't make me get my gun, boy," Bobby threatened.

My brother finally turned to face us instead of out the window," We are damn near kickoff for Armageddon, don't you think we got bigger fish at the moment?" He looked accusingly between us.

"Dee, I'm not happy either, the kid's gonna get broken nose the next time I see him, but-" I sighed and looked down. My necklace caught my eye I held it up and read the back of the solitary diamond," -' _us against the world_ '. That was our motto, we swore that nothing would come between that." I'll admit, at first I was pissed at Sam for doing what he did, but at the end of the day: he's family. We're all we've got left.

"Things change," he simply said, avoiding my eye.

"He's your brother," Bobby tried once more," and he's drowning."

"Bobby, I tried to help him! And look what happened!" Dean's voice rose, but I could see the sadness hiding in his features.

"So try again," Bobby countered. These two just kept going 'round in circles.

"It's too late."

"There's no such thing."

"No, dammit!" Dean shouts and finally sits. He tells us that it's just like when he ran off to Stanford. Sammy never wanted to be a part of this life; we all knew he hated it," well, I'm sick and tired of chasin' him. Screw him, he can do what he wants."

I crossed my arms," you don't mean that."

Dean glared at me," yes, I do, Julie. He's gone. I'm not even sure if he's our brother anymore." He breathes for a moment then looked to the ground," if he ever was." _How could he say that? Sam loves us, he's always been our brother_.

I jumped when Bobby knocked all the papers and things off of his desk, making them crash. He grabbed Dee by his shirt collar," You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! Well, boo hoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, _princess_! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" Bobby rarely yelled like this, it was terrifying to witness.

Bobby calmed down some, letting Dean go, he walked over to the window next to the couch I sat on,"You sound like a whiny brat. No, you sound like your _dad_. Well, let me tell you something. Your dad was a coward." I played with my fingers, not really wanting to think about dad. As talented at hunting and as kind as he could be, he was never there for us. I'm glad I didn't acquire much of my father's characteristics–I think I turned out as headstrong as my mother.

I watched anxiously as Dean turned to peer at Bobby for that remark," our dad was a lot of things Bobby, but a _coward_?"

Bobby explained," He'd rather push Sam away than reach out to him. Well, that don't strike me as brave. You are a better man than your daddy ever was. So you do both of us a favor. Don't. be. him."

Dean huffed, looking out the window, when I looked up from my palms, I thought I'd gone crazy.

"What the fuck?" I muttered under my breath. Capturing Dean's attention he turned around from the window as well.

We definitely weren't in Bobby's house anymore. This looked like some next level, presidential sitting room. The borders were lined with gold, intricate paintings adorned the walls, and marble slates served as tables and mantelpieces.

I was sat at one of these tables,"where are we?" I questioned my brother.

"I don't know," he came closer to me.

"Hello Dean, Julie," came the voice of my significant other," it's almost time." I gulped. As much as seeing Castiel brought me tranquility, I was scared. The apocalypse is knocking on our door.

"Cas," I couldn't help but stare at him. I stood from my seat and went over to the angel. He anticipated my hug as soon as the distance between us lessened. My fingers played with the ends of his black hair. I mumbled into his trench coat," maybe there is some hope yet." I projected my thoughts with all my might so that Castiel could sense them. I let him feel how safe I felt in his arms, and the trust I had in him. I let him feel, that with him around, my hope in stopping doomsday. I felt his wings wrap around me protectively.

* * *

Cas had left saying very few words, leaving Dean and I to look around this gorgeous room. I admired some of the pastoral paintings that depicted serene stories I couldn't name.

I mindlessly ran my hand along the marble table in the middle of the room, when I went to turn around again, an array of food was place there. There were stacks of burgers, cold beers, but what caught my eye were the peach waffles.

"Dean," I called to him, he examined one of the beers," these are all our favorites." I saw a basket of fruit slices and plucked a mango spear. I brought it to my mouth and hummed, it was an exceptionally juicy piece. Next to peach, mangos were my favorite.

"Hello," greeted a voice I didn't recognize I looked up and saw Castiel standing behind an older man in a suit,"you're looking fit, Dean." Although, my focus was on the older gentle man, Castiel licking his lip did not go unseen by me. I blushed and quickly used my sleeve to wipe the excess juice from my lips.

Dean put the beer back in the ice," well if it isn't the Suit Life of Zac and Cas."

My brows knitted along with the other man,"Dee, who is this guy? Is he another angel?"

He nodded," yeah, Julie, meet Zachariah."

"Do we trust him?" I wondered out loud.

"No." Dean's answer was with such certainty. I was a little offended that Dean hadn't told me about him before, but, now, I suppose he had good reason.

"Julie," the angel named Zachariah greeted me," so you are Castiel's mate, huh?"

I nodded making short eye contact with Cas. Zachariah went on," that's a bit of a pity, considering your role in this play." My brows furrowed, _what was he getting at? What was my role?_

Before either Dean or I could question him he continued," you may have noticed your abode, we call it 'The Greenroom'. We're closing in on the grand finale, here. We want to keep you safe before showtime."

My brother went straight to the chase,"we want to know what the game plan is."

Zachariah spoke once again in answer. I was getting the feeling that he was one of Castiel's superiors, judging by how Cas looked like a dog with it's tail tucked. I didn't like him," let us worry about that. We want you..."he thought of a word," _focused_ , relaxed."

He wasn't telling us anything, just dictating. We weren't puppets to do his dance," well we're about to be pissed, and leaving. So start talking, grandpa."

Zachariah's gaze slid over to me. I could see he was trying to suppress his rising anger, he sighed," all the seals have fallen, except one." Of course, my brother shot some smart-ass remark his way making Zach tick a bit more.

"You think sarcasm's appropriate, do you?" He ambled closer to my brother,"Considering... _you_ started all this, but the final seal...it'll be different."

"Why?" I wondered.

"Lilith has to break it. She's the only one who can. Tomorrow night," he added," midnight."

"Where?" My brother and I asked in unison.

Zach looked between us," we're working on it."

"Well, work harder," Dee demanded.

"Oh, we'll do our job. You just make sure you do yours," he gave an innocent smile.

Dean scoffed," yeah, and what is that exactly?" Besides Cas, the other angels seem like they're just sitting back and watching," if I'm suppose to be the one who stops her, how? With the knife?"

"All in good time," Zach waved a dismissing hand.

"Isn't _now_ a good time?" I questioned back. I saw Dean nod in approval of my question.

"Have faith," he calmly advised.

"What in you?" My brother doubted," give me one good reason why I should." He should've watched his mouth because Zachariah got up close to his face, casting a heavily authoritative glare.

"Because you swore your obedience," Zach's steel eyes froze me from my position behind Dean," so _obey_." I see now, that he has my brother right where he wants him with the Holy servitude. I looked at Cas, seeking a little help, but all he did was look to the floor guiltily. The fleeting sound of wings were all that was heard and the angels were gone.

Once I was sure they were gone, I sang,

" Angels we have heard on high,

Sweetly singing o'er the plain.

And the mountains in reply,

Echoing their joyous strains," I stopped singing abruptly," whoever wrote that song deserves a punch." I felt pride swell in me when I received a small chuckle from Dean.

* * *

I sat against the wall in boredom. For the last ten minutes Dean and I went back and forth about calling Sam," Dean, the world is about to end, the least you could do is call your goddamn brother to fix your mess!" I snapped suddenly. I was over his and Sam's childish attitudes. The world doesn't move forward when you're stuck on the past.

Dean looked at me, pondering my words, he sighed," screw it." And he dialed Sam's number. Judging by his next words, it went to his voicemail," Hey, it's me. Uh..." he cleared his throat," Look, I'll just get right to it. I'm still pissed... and I owe you a serious beatdown," I watched him walk across the room," But... I shouldn't have said what I said. You know, I'm not Dad. We're brothers. You know, we're family. And, uh... no matter how bad it gets, that doesn't change. It's us against the world, Sammy. I'm sorry." He hung up.

I smiled," I'm proud of you Dean."

He chuckled," don't get used to the feeling, it won't last long."

I giggled and nodded," yeah, you're probably right."

* * *

As pretty as this room was, I was getting tired of seeing the same thing. It seems like we've been in here for hours now. It could've been days even, I didn't know, there weren't any windows. There was nothing to do in here either, I'd kill for my sketch book. Dean's voice caught my attention.

"Testing testing," Dean began speaking into thin air," Cas? Is this thing on?"

A line appeared between my brows," you've completely lost it, haven't you?" I'll be honest, I didn't plan on him losing his marbles this early, but nobody's perfect.

Dean rolled his eyes," I need to talk to the guy, he never comes on the first try. Give me a few minutes."

I held up my hands in defense. I listened to him embarrass himself, trying to call down the angel. I finally threw pity and offered some assistance,"try thinking about him."

"I am!"

"Apparently not enough," I gave him a pointed look.

He squinted at me," if you think you're any better, give it shot." He challenged. I raised a brow, _challenge accepted._

I stood up, closed my eyes, and cleared my throat. I heard Dee murmur a small, 'oh brother'.

I started sweetly," hey, Cas, sweetie? Think you can come down here for a sec?" My lashes fluttered.

"You asked to see me?" Spoke none other than the angel in question. I smugly crossed my arms and looked at Dean.

Dee jutted his jaw out," dude! I was praying to you, what the hell?!"

"The apocalypse is hours from beginning, forgive me if I'm busy," Castiel snarked. I think that's one of the first times he's tried joking around.

My brother looked at me with a glare," I am not calling him down like that." He could say whatever he wanted, but my way worked.

Dean was about to get even more pissy, but before he could release his rage, I informed Cas," listen, my brother needs something."

My angel looked at my brother," anything you wish," he complied.

"I need you to take me to Sam," Dee requested.

"Why?" My angel wondered back.

"There's something I need to talk to him about, just make it snappy," my brother tried to pull one over on Cas.

"I don't think that is wise, Dean," he told him," have you forgotten what happened the last time you met?"

The oldest Winchester huffed, probably not wanting to remember that," No. That's the whole point. Listen, I'm gonna do whatever you mooks want, okay? I just need to tie up this _one_ thing. Five minutes - that's all I need," my pleaded.

"No." Castiel surprised even me by being that abrasive. I blinked at him, there was an air of imprisonment I was getting from him.

"No? We're not trapped here, are we?" I wondered.

He shook his head," you can go anywhere you want."

"Super," my brother exclaimed,"we want to go see Sam."

I could see Cas getting annoyed," except there." _Why couldn't we go see Sam?_ I thought Castiel possessed enough mercy to be able to let three siblings, speak with each other before the fucking world ends!

"We want to go on a walk," I tried this card.

"Fine. I'll go with you," he countered.

"Alone," my brother corrected.

"No," he quickly shot. Cas was starting to seem as unfeeling as the other angels. _What changed from the last time I saw him?_ _This is not the Castiel I fell in love with._ From where I stood my eyes went wide at my own revelation. I looked to the floor, hoping the two men in the room won't notice my beet-red face. _I'm in love with Cas._

I let Cas and Dean carry on as I retreated into myself. I needed to get my thoughts organized on this new feeling. The more I thought I about it, how could I not have fallen for him? He was kind, attractive, and what I value most about him: is that he is unique. I find it alluring that he held a place in his heart for humanity, when it seems like nothing else, not even God, does. That was the Castiel I love. This Castiel is just doing this song and dance because that's what he has to do. He has to have order to follow–it's the only thing he truly knows.

Dean pulling me along by the hand yanked me out of my thoughts," you know what? Screw this noise, we're out of here!"

I looked back at Cas. My stare must've conveyed something to throw him off for a moment. His head tilted before he shook it and his cold stare returned," through what door?"

I looked back in front of me and where a door had previously been, it was gone. Some kind of magic replaced it with a smooth wall. When we went to look back at the angel, he was gone.

"Damn it! I know he's your boyfriend or whatever, Jul," Dean bit his lip before looking at me," but that feathered fuck needs punched."

I found myself quickly defending the angel. I ripped me hand out of his grasp," Dean, I don't think he's doing this willingly. I mean, you saw him! He's scared! If he doesn't do what he's told they'll kill him! Now, I don't know about you, but I sure as hell remember what it felt like when we didn't do what dad told us to. Even if we really did not want to do something, we had to do it to save our skins."

Dean's lips formed a hard line in thought, remembering the many beatings he'd acquired. My brother huffed," then we've got to find a way to get through to him," he consulted.

I sighed," leave that to me. I'm his soulmate– he'll listen."

* * *

I walked over to a table with decorative angel figurines and statues. I picked one up and examined the base. With it in my hand an idea grew in my mind. I smirked, calling Dean over and handed him a bronze angel. He smirked with me, catching on. At the same time we pelted the wall with our instruments, trying as hard as we could to break the wall.

Behind the drywall, we managed to make the wooden beams visible. We pulled back for another hit, but paused at the same time. The wall before us, had healed itself. I sighed in defeat,"son of a bitch."

"Quit hurling feces like a howler monkey, would you? It's unbecoming," the annoying voice of Zachariah asked suddenly. Dean dropped his tool and we faced the angel, I however, held onto mine. If we don't trust him, it's better to have a contingency plan.

"Let us out of here," Dean growled. He's infuriated now with the inability to leave, I shared the feeling.

Zach shook his head and frowned,"Like I told you: too dangerous out there. Demons on the prowl." We both looked at our captor in confusion.

Dean took over," we've been getting our asses kicked all year. _Now_ you're sweating our safety? You're lying. We want to see our brother."

Zachariah takes a very short second to think about that, he tells us it's ill-advised.

Dean snapped in anger, demanding answers," You know, I am so sick of your shit riddles and your smug, fat face," Zach looked a little hurt," What the hell is going on, huh? Why can't we see Sam? And how am I gonna ice Lilith?!"

The superior angel sighed," you are not going to..."ice" Lilith." He finally spilled something.

I gaped at him," what?"

Zach started walking over to a lavishly cushioned bench,"Lilith's going to break the final seal. Fait accompli at this point. Train's left the station."

Dean and I looked at each other. _Then what was all the nonsense about killing Lilith and stopping this whole thing?_ My brother spoke worriedly,"But me, Jul, and Sam, we can stop..." Dean trailed off while observing Zach's reaction to his words. One look at Zach's face told us what we needed to know. He was smiling. He knew _. He wants this apocalypse._

I felt a lump in my throat," you don't want to stop it, do you?"

He shook his head and clasped his hands in his lap, like a good businessman," Nope. Never did. The end is nigh. The apocalypse is coming, kiddo, to a theater near you." This wasn't right. These were angels! Our bible portrays them as merciful, loving, beings– these are _not_ them. I felt fear creep up my neck at the thought of having no divine peace-maker looking over us humans. Surely, we couldn't be all alone.

I grew angry," what was all that shit about saving seals then?"

The angel responded matter-of-factly,"Our grunts on the ground - we couldn't just tell them the whole truth. We'd have a full-scale rebellion on our hands," _maybe a rebellion is what we need right now_. These confessions were uncalled for, I wonder why he's letting slip heavenly plans all of the sudden," I mean, think about it: would we really let sixty-five seals get broken unless senior management wanted it that way?" He might as well be as twisted as a real businessmen.

Dean was just as thunderstruck, breathlessly he asked," but why?"

Zachariah looked taken aback," Why not? The _Apocalypse_? Poor name, bad marketing - puts people off," he dismissed," When all it is is Ali-Foreman. On a... slightly larger scale." Dean's focused gaze caught my attention. The once peaceful paintings in the room had changed. They now depicted gruesome battles between divine entities, but below them, were the people. Human beings were painted as being crushed, stepped on, and eaten.

Zachariah continued his boasting,"And we like our chances. When our side wins - and we will - it's paradise on earth. Now, what's not to like about that."

I blinked, causing a tear to fall, I couldn't find my voice. Innocent people were going to get hurt. I was lucky Dean could find his," What happens to all the people during your little pissing contest?" It pained me to see my brother near tears as well. I could tell a part of him already knew the answer to that.

Zach shrugged, standing up," ah–well...you can't make an omelette with out cracking a few eggs."

I seethed," I will not let humanity be reduced to the analogy that we have the same value as an egg," I took a shaky breath," not one life is worth losing, or expendable."

The angel in authority frowned," actually, they are. In this case... it'll be _truckloads_ of eggs, but you get the picture." For once he took in our horrified faces," Look... it happens," it sickened me how easily he could blow this off," This isn't the first planetary enema we've delivered."

I'd heard enough. I casted a murderous glance down to the figurine in my hand. I wanted to see this object beat him to a pulp, it was blunt, it could get the job done.

Much to my dismay, he noticed my stare and read my mind," Uh, no, Julie-darling. Probably shouldn't try to bash my skull in with that thing. Wouldn't end up too pleasant for you." By a force I couldn't see, the object in my hand was flung back to its home on the mantelpiece.

I straightened my back," what about Sammy, huh? He won't go quietly. He'll stop Lilith."

At my question the angel takes a deep breath and looks around the room," _Sam_... has a part to play. A very important part. He may need a little nudging in the right direction," he shifted his weight," but I'll make sure he plays it."

"What does that mean?" I fretted," what are you going to do to him?"

Zach rolls his eyes," Sam, Sam, Sam, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia." His next words inform Dean of how vital he _still_ is to the angels and God. He _is_ chosen, he just won't be stopping Lilith or the apocalypse. Zachariah re-establishes that I too, have a part, but it'll come later. Somehow, I didn't like the sound of that. If the angels think I'm just going to sit on my ass waiting for my cue, they can find another girl.

Dean had asked him, what all he's saying, entails. In answer, Zach gestures to a painting. It had changed. The plaque underneath of it reads ' _Saint Michel terrassant le Dragon_ '. I didn't understand until the angel elaborated," Lucifer. You're going to stop Lucifer. You're our own little Russel Crowe, complete with surly attitude," he provided another kind smile. _Dean's heavenly path was to defeat Lucifer?! Thee Lucifer? How could he do that by himself?_ I immediately decided that I will not let him go this alone. It's us against the world, and nothing will change that, no matter what a God wants.

Dean's horror stricken face is once again registered by the angel. He reassures him with the rewards after the apocalypse are unimaginable riches, peace, and happiness. I already know that my brother isn't swayed by that. I'm not either. I'd rather have the world just the way it is, he can stick his divine plan elsewhere, we're not biting.

Zachariah started to walk away from us, presumably to leave again, but before he could, Dean asked a question that froze the angel," tell me something. Where's God in all this?"

Zachariah heisted, we'd finally found a weak spot," _God?_ " He sounded bewildered, he never turned back to us," God has left the building." Goosebumps rose on my skin, my fear returning, and sure enough, he flew away.

Moments after his leaving, my brother and I stood in silence, trying to wrap our minds around all of this information. I finally looked at Dean with tears eyes," we have to get ahold of Sam." He cleared his throat and nodded in agreement. This was so much bigger than us.

* * *

I paced around with Dean as he tried to call Sam for the hundredth time. Every nerve in my body seemed to be on edge, with only one thought on my mind: the apocalypse. The real deal was about to begin and would put all the doomsday movies to shame.

"You can't reach him Dean, you're outside your coverage zone," I heard the voice of Castiel within the room. We turned on our heels to look at him.

Dean beat me to the question," what are you gonna do with Sam?"

"Nothing," he replied flatly," he's going to do it to himself."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I now asked, making the angel look to the floor.

A light-bulb went off for Dean," oh right, right," he nodded," you got to toe the company line. Why're you here, Cas?"

I watched my soulmate stand more in front of us, as he looked between us," We've been through much together, you two and I. And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry it _ended_ like this."

It felt like my heart was just torn to bits, my lip quivered," so you're saying goodbye?" I thought he would stop at nothing to keep me close and at his side, he'd waited eons for me, now he's just going to drop me like that? I refused to believe it, there had to be something else at work here. To my answer he looked at me with sorrow and regret. I looked away from him.

"Sorry?" Asked Dee incredulously. I didn't even want to stop him as he hurled a fist at his angelic face, but...all it did was unaffected Cas and nearly break my brothers hand. He turned back to him, holding his own hand," it's Armageddon, Cas, you need a bigger word than ' _sorry_ '."

"Try to understand," he implored," this is long foretold," he used his hands to assist his speech," this is your d–" Dean stopped him.

"'Destiny'?" I let my brother have at him," Don't give me that "holy" crap. _Destiny, God's plan_... It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a bitch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep us-" he used a finger to point to me and him, then at Cas," and keep you in line!"

It was my turn to try and get through to him. Castiel was our only shot at getting out and doing something to save the world," You know what's real, Castiel? People, families - _that's_ real. And you're just gonna watch them all die?"

For the first time his eyes widened and he stepped closer to me," What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here." He turned to my brother, fuming," I see inside you, Dean, I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam and Julie." Once he finished his spiel, he looked away, as if he didn't really believe his own words.

Dean calmly looked down and caught his eyes, bringing him back up," you can take your peace," he started softly. It was always the calm Dean that was the most frightening," and shove it up your lily-white ass." Castiel looked hurt, I could see it in his eyes. If wanted to deny it, it was no use. He knows there's a good side here, and it's not with the angels.

I let my brother speak for me," 'cause we'll take the pain, and the guilt, even take Sam as is- it's a lot better than being some _Stepford bitch_ in paradise!"

I tried my hand again," this is simple Cas, no more crap about being a good soldier anymore. There's a right and there's a wrong here and you know it!" The angel turned his back on me, like hell he did. I grabbed his shoulder and forced him to face me," look at me!" I demanded, tears streaming down my cheeks.

I rested a hand on his cheek, he seems to melt in to my touch, not being able to push it away. I continued," you were gonna help me once weren't you? That's why you came into my dream." His eyes told me I was right on the money," you were gonna warn me about all of this, before they dragged you back to Bible study! Help me now–" I begged," _Please!_ "

He searched my eyes, wanting to help, but there was something holding him back," what would you have me do?" Relief flood my veins like ice.

"Get us to Sam we can stop this before it's too late," I instructed.

He thought for a second, biting his lip," I do that, we'll all be _hunted_. We'll all be _killed_." This was terribly eating him up, I didn't blame him. Since the world was born he was condition to think only one way, what we're doing is changing everything.

I used my thumb to smooth his cheek, before stating calmly," angel, if there's anything worth dying for, it's _this_." All he did was stare into my eyes. I watched his own grow puffy and glossy.

He shook his head and looked down. I snatched my hand back, feeling betrayed.

Dean fumed and walked away," you spineless...soulless...son of a bitch." He didn't even want to look at him," what do you care about dying? You're already dead. We're _done_."

My soulmate looked back at me, his wings drooping," Cas," he searched my eyes," _I love you_." In response I saw the edge of his lip quiver. My hands were shaking in fear and anger," I do not want to deliver an ultimatum, but if you don't help us..." my next words were very hard to leave my tongue," you can forget about me. "

"Jul," he whimpered. I shook my head and backed away to Dean, still facing him.

"Don't ever visit me again, unless you've had a change of heart." I blinked away the tears, it was no surprise that he'd left.

"C'mere," I heard my brother whisper. I wasted no time wrapping myself in his arms. He carded his finger through my hair and swayed with me as I hiccuped. He knew that was hard for me to say," I wish I could tell you what you want to hear," he started clearing his throat," I wish I could tell you that it's all gonna be okay, Jul. I'm your brother, I'm supposed to make everything better..." he trailed off kissing my head," I just...I'm sorry. I _can't_."

* * *

I looked over the vast assortment of food. I rolled up my sleeves and sighed," what are you doing?" Wondered my brother beside me.

"I figured it's as good a time as any to take up binge eating. Care to join me?" I picked up a peach slice.

He scoffed, picking up a burger," hell yeah." We held up our food in a toast," to the end of the world."

"To the end of the world," I toasted, just as I brought the fruit to my mouth a hand was placed there and I was pinned against the wall I yelped at the sudden action. I was met with the eyes of Castiel.

"Cas, you get the hell off of her," my brother warned. But he didn't.

I heard a voice in my head," _don't make a sound_." I nodded and he removed his hand. He didn't look away from my eyes," _I...I love you too_." I smiled and looked to my confused brother.

I brought my pointer finger to my lips, telling him to be quiet as well. He nodded in understanding. My angel was helping us fight against the apocalypse. I watched him use the demon knife to slice into his vessel's flesh. He quickly began painting the angel banishing symbol on the wall in it. There was something calming about watching the red liquid trail down the wall where too much of it piled together.

"Castiel!" An annoying voice came from behind us. I didn't need to look to know that Zachariah had come," would you mind explaining just what the hell you are doing?!"

Cas quickly finished the symbol and slammed his hand on it, we watched Zachariah explode away in a pure light. My angel turned to us, he quickly instructed," he won't be gone long. We have to find Sam, now."

"Where is he?" Wondered my brother.

He shook his head," I don't know. But I know who does. We have to stop him, Dean, from killing Lilith."

"But Lilith's going to break the last seal," I faltered.

My love looked at me," Lilith _is_ the final seal. She dies the end begins." My blood ran cold at that.

* * *

Castiel had wrapped an arm around my waist and rested an arm on Dean's shoulder. With the blink of an eye we were back in Chuck Shurley's house- his kitchen to be exact. He turned to us, with the phone to his ear.

He looked shocked to see us," t-this isn't supposed to happen," he quickly realizes he's spoken into the device,"n-no lady this is definitely supposed to happen. Just let me call you back." And he hung up.

"Why are you here? I didn't write this," Chuck worried.

"Chuck," Castiel began," we don't have much time, where is Sam?" The prophet, having written much of this, easily tells us where Sam is.

"St. Mary's? What is that, a convent?" My brother inquired.

He nodded," yeah, but you guys aren't supposed to be there," he reiterated," you're not in this story."

"Yeah well," my angel started," we're making it up as we go." He looked at me and both my brother and I looked back in pride. This was big difference from twenty minutes ago.

Suddenly the room started to rumble and the lights started to flicker. I grabbed Castiel's hand when a blinding white light filtered in through the kitchen shades.

I missed Chuck's words of despair on what this light meant. I only heard Cas's yelling over the loud ringing," it's the archangel!" He looked to us," I'll hold them off, I'll hold them _all_ off! Just stop Sam!" I wanted to protest him doing this alone, but before I could he slammed a hand to Dean's forehead.

He looked down at me, white light getting brighter," I do love you, Julie."

"Please Cas, I'll stay here with you," my heart was beating faster than it ever had.

He shook his head," keeping you safe, is worth dying for. I'll always watch over you, to whatever end," he placed his lips on my and then I couldn't feel them anymore.

I opened my eyes and saw Dean beside me. It looked like we were in some church. My brother looked over at me in concern," you okay?"

I nodded," let's just find Sam." And we set out down the long hall. Around a corner there was an open door, through it we saw Sam, Ruby, and Lilith. Ruby had heard us and turned to look at the cause of the sound. My stomach sank when a knowing smirk spanned across her lips. She raised a hand and slammed the doors, to the room, shut.

"That bitch!" I cried and together Dee and I rammed the door, doing anything we could to break it open. We were screaming ourselves hoarse to get through to him. Without warning a pain shot through me, making me pause. I felt it originate in my chest then vibrate through my veins.

I let out a small cry, only one thing came to my mind with a pain like this," Cas!" My brother finally saw me hunched over and bawling.

"Oh, Jul," he helped me back up," just hold on, we're almost to Sammy." I bit through the pain and stood up. _For Sammy._ Dean ripped a candelabra from the wall, adrenaline pumping through him, making him a force to reckon with. He handed me one and we pounded in the door until it finally opened.

The first things my eyes saw was the dead body of Lilith, and Ruby trying to make over an emotional Sam on the floor. Dean drew the demon knife and stalked Ruby.

She looks at him, a devilish glint in her eye," you're too late."

"I don't care," he said emotionlessly. He charged her with the knife. I hadn't expected Sam to stand and hold her in place for Dean to gank. It made me feel a little better that she was no long in the picture, but this feeling inside of me, that was affiliated with Castiel, wouldn't go away. Something had happened, and I needed to know.

With Ruby dead on the floor Sam looked to Dean, brokenly as he spoke," I'm sorry." Dean didn't say any just gave a tiny nod. I saw my chance and scrambled to Sam. I jumped and latched myself around his front, he hugged me back instantly. He tucked his head in my neck and threaded his fingers through my hair to cup the back of my head.

"I missed you, Sammy," I confessed.

He chuckled," I missed you too, bug."

Dean's extremely worked voice pulled us away from our sibling moment," guys, we gotta go."

I dropped from Sam's arms and looked to what he spoke of. The blood that spilled out of Lilith had trailed out, into an intricate circle. The center was pulsing with white light. All at once it blew and the white light shot up, through the roof, and into the sky. Moans and distant screams of the damned escaped it, freezing my feet to the spot. Lilith was dead, that only meant one thing could rise now.

I grabbed my brothers' hands in fear," guys...it's him." Sam said breathlessly," he's coming". Too consumed with fear, we watched the bright light consume every inch of the room.

 **Luke 10:18**

 _And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven._


	29. Chapter 30

**Sympathy For The Devil**

 **A/N** : I'm back y'all. This was shorter than I expected, but I think I've got it all under control ~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

* * *

Dean was the one who drug us from our horror-filled minds. Once we were no longer distracted, we dashed for the door. We pounded and pounded as the light grew ever brighter and a deafening ringing overwhelmed us. My screams seemed muted as I covered my ears and hunkered to the ground. The last thing I remember was Sammy covering my body with his, and then...well it was like magic.

My brothers and I were juxtaposed to the rest of our surroundings. We were panting, wide-eyed messes on an _airplane_. Everyone else on board was calm.

"What the hell?" I whispered.

Sam replied just as thunderstruck,"I don't know."

We listened intently as the pilot of the plane came through the intercom," Folks, quick word from the flight deck. We're just passing over Ilchester, then Ellicott City, on our initial descent into Baltimore–" Dean spoke to us, interjecting.

" _Ilchester?_ Weren't we just there?" His brows knitted in confusion. _How the hell did we end up on this plane? And where was Cas?_ I rested my head against the seat's headrest, calming down.

The pilot came again," so, if you'd like to stretch your legs, now would be a good time t-" he faltered. I felt the plane jerk roughly to the left,"-holy shit!" He exclaimed full off panic.

Another jerk rocked the plane much harder, making me grasp the arm rests until my knuckles turned white. Emergency lights and alarms flooded the fuselage cabin. The plugin masks dropped from their compartment above us and we scrambled to put them on. My breathing elevated as fear over took me. This was all happening so fast. I chanced a look out the window and saw a column of piercing light shooting towards the sky. That had to be the convent we were just at. If this plan crash lands, I wanted my brothers to know I loved them. I took their hands and squeezed them. They held back with equal fervor.

* * *

I sit staring out the window of the rented car. _We'd survived a plane plummeting to the earth_ , I couldn't shake the traumatizing experience from my mind.

The radio in the car was full of possible explanations to the exploding convent, one of the main theories being: terrorism. Every station Sammy tried to change it to to get some music, it was all about the disaster.

"Sammy turn it off," I weakly instructed from the back seat. I missed his stare in the rear-view mirror, but he turned it off nonetheless. I even tuned out the boys as they conversed, they tried their own hand at explaining how we ended up on the plane. We were alive, I'd like to not focus on why we were, I wanted Castiel.

"Well, whatever it is, it's the least of our worries," I spoke," we have to find Cas." Dean agreed with me, he promised we'd run by Chuck's as soon as we good.

I felt terrible for Chuck, his house was absolutely demolished on the inside. As we neared the kitchen there were splats of blood everywhere. I tried to control my breathing, praying that it wasn't Castiel's.

The sound of someone running out, made us look up suddenly. Chuck came swinging a toilet plunger and landing Sam on the head with it, making my brother recoil in pain. Once the prophet saw it was us, he sighed in relief.

"Sam," he acknowledged, trying to steady himself.

"Yeah!" My brother held his head.

"So...you're okay?" Chuck inspected us.

"Well...my head hurts," my tall brother made known.

The blood around the room and how it now dotted Chuck's face rolled my stomach. I terrible feeling settling there; I snapped, needing to know something," Chuck, we're very glad to see you and everything, but where is Cas?"

He stilled, looking at me, unblinking," Julie...I'm...I'm sorry."

I felt my eyes start to sting," what the fuck do you mean 'you're _sorry_ '?"

Chuck shifted his weight uncomfortably," Cas, he's...dead," I felt my blood run cold. That was the pain I was feeling at convent, it had to be, but he continued," or gone," he shook his head," the archangel smoked the crap out of him."

I sniffled, forcing myself not to break down. Dean placing his hand on my back was not helping me. I felt sick, he couldn't be dead. Sure I felt something at the convent, but something felt funny now. If he was dead, I'd imagine the pain would stay. Maybe it's because we didn't complete the mating process? I didn't know, but nothing added up and I just wanted to be wrapped in his wings again.

"You're sure?" Wondered my brother," I mean, maybe he just vanished into the light or something."

I looked to chuck eagerly. He shook his head sadly," oh no, he like exploded." I felt another pang to my stomach, I really didn't want to hear this," Like a water balloon of chunky soup...er-you don't look good Julie" Next thing I know, Sam spots something in his hair-I'm watching him pull a human molar from it. I fight a gag.

I looked to Dean," I'll be in the car if you need me," I quickly told him before running out. I couldn't take it. It was one thing to see all the blood and bits all over Chuck's house, but another to know that it belong to my angel. My _soulmate_. I felt dizzy. Whatever they did in Chuck's house they could do it without me.

* * *

I lounged on the bed of the motel room while Dean loaded a gun in the kitchen area. I may have been staring at the tv, but my mind was somewhere else, somewhere with Cas.

"You alright, sweetheart?" Dean asked gently, observing me in my silence.

I didn't turn to look at him," peachy." I heard him sigh deeply to himself. I'm not sure there was anything that could make me feel better, not even sketching could lift my spirits by this point.

Sam came in shortly after and gave us hex bags. They were supposed to make us damn near impossibility for angels or demons to find. Dee checked on Sam, wondering how his demon addiction was going. It was odd, whatever put us on that plan, Sam thinks cleaned him right up.

"All right, so, say this is just any other hunt. You know? What do we do first?" Dean asked digressing as Sam tried to apologize for the thousandth time for starting all this.

"We'd, uh, figure out where the thing is." I heard Sammy answer him.

"All right. So we just got to find..." he paused," the _devil_." I found myself loathing the hunting business and everything it stands for once again. I don't want to put my life on the line, I mean these cases can get pretty extreme, but I think killing Lucifer takes the cake.

Sometime later Dean walks over to the bed I was curled into a fetal-position on, and tells me to scoot over. I gladly did and he laid down, once he was situated I tucked myself under his arm with my head on his chest. Together we, we watched tv, Dean flipping channels for anything good. I knew this was his way of comforting me-we didn't always need words.

Then a knock came to the door, making Dean sit up and grab his gun. I used a hand to snatch the demon knife under my pillow, while Sammy got the door.

From where I sat, it sounded like it was a very panicked woman. She seemed to know who Sam was and she even let herself in.

"Uh–do I know you?" Sam asked awkwardly. She was using a hand to pet his pecs. If I were feeling better, I'd like to think I'd be a laughing mess.

She snatched her hand back and became serious," no. But I know you: you're Sam Winchester," she looked around the room and saw me becoming ecstatic,"oh my goodness and you're Julie!" Okay, she may have sparked a tiny smile from me. She looked to Dean and her face fell," and you're...not what I pictured." Dee looked appalled.

She introduced herself," I'm Becky." She stood fully in the room, continuing her fangirling," I've read all about you guys-I've even written a few-" she stopped short and giggled to herself. _Oh God_ , I thought, _please don't be a slash fan!_

Sam closes the door as she rambles on. She says "Mr. Edlund " sent her with a message, who's being heavily watched by angels at the moment. However, when she revealed this message it sounded _heavily_ made up.

She had to close her eyes and repeat word for word," _The Michael sword is on earth. The angels lost it_."

"The Micheal sword?" I questioned, wondering what that was.

"Becky," asked Sam," does he know where it is?"

She answered," _in a castle, on a hill of forty-two dogs_."

I shook my head and knitted my brows," are...are you sure you got that right?"

She nodded," it doesn't make sense, but that's what he said- I memorized every word," she breathed and placed a hand onto Sam's chest again. I bit my lip trying not to laugh at Sam's discomfort.

The awkwardness in my brother's face actually lifted my spirits somewhat," um...Becky. C-can uh-you...quit touching me?"

She released a breathy," no." She looked as if she was about to orgasm on the spot I let slip a snort, Dean followed suit by chuckling.

* * *

We were expecting Bobby to come over to drop of the impala and try to give us a hand with this 'Michael-sword'-thing. When he came through the door he hugged Dean. He spotted me and came over.

I hugged him tightly, I felt myself wanting to burst into tears, but I repressed it," I heard about your angel, Juls. I'm real sorry." He rubbed my back.

I cleared my throats and pulled away," I appreciate you trying to comfort me, Bobs, but if it's alright, I don't really want to talk about it." In response he nodded and went to hug the last sibling. Exchanging words about Sam's superfan.

"So...sword of Micheal, huh?" Bobby clarified.

We started to get to work," you think we're talking about the actual sword, from the _actual_ archangel?"

Bobby's brows raised," you better friggin' hope so."

I sat at the table with Sam and Bobby, as he skimmed through a large book of angelic lore. Bobby flipped to a page with a painting of a being who looked more feminine than masculine, but the caption read it as the archangel Micheal.

"That's Micheal. Toughest son of a bitch they got," voiced my surrogate. Dean hovered over Bobby's shoulder and scoffed. Sam flipped another page which painted Micheal as a similarly soft face.

"You kidding me? Tough?" Asked my brother disbelieving," that guy looks like Cate Blanchett".

Bobby lifted a brow, disagreeing," Well, I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley, believe me. He commands the heavenly host. During the last big dust-up upstairs, he's the one who booted Lucifer's ass to the basement," he pointed to the weapon Michael held,"and he did it with that sword." Okay, so in theory, all we had to do was find it and beat the devil's ass all over again. Sounds simple enough...we'd just be going up against _Satan._

My surrogate instructed," so divvy up and start reading– try to make sense of Chuck's nonsense." I scooter the large book in front of me to start reading as he said. Sam had stood to grab one of the many books Bobby brought, but stopped abruptly. He never reached the books and Bobby noticed his hesitation. "Kid? You alright?"

Sam looked like something was eating him up until he spilled the beans," no actually, Bobby, this is all my fault. I'm sorry." Dean tried to stop him from going on, but to no avail," Lilith didn't break the final seal. Lilith _was_ the final seal."

I eagerly watched Bobby's reaction. I expected my surrogate to give him a bit of a scold, but something about his words, seemed a little too harsh. Sam went on about how he caused this.

"Sam, seriously," I tried to stop him now. There was nothing we could do about the start of the apocalypse now. I was glad he was trying to make amends, but we could spare Bobby that he had been the one to knock over the final domino.

Sam fidgeted trying to ignore his watering eyes," You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on."

I watched, rooted to my seat as calm-and-scary Bobby stalked up to my brother," damn right you didn't listen. You were reckless, selfish, and arrogant." Sammy's tears threatened to spill over.

"I'm sorry," he simply apologized.

I swallowed hard as Bobby continued, momentarily I made eye contact with Dean," Oh, yeah? You're sorry you started _Armageddon?_ This kind of thing don't get forgiven, boy." He glared daggers into Sam," If, by some miracle, we pull this off...I want you to lose my number. You understand me?" With a broken heart I watched my brother nod sadly at that, he weakly told us he was going to go to a church and find whatever he could there. I was amazed Bobby would get rid of him that easily. Bobby was the closest thing we had to a real father. I can't imagine the pain Sam must be feeling.

* * *

While Sam was away I busied myself with the words of a lore books. I tuned out Dean and Bobby's conversation about dad as best I could. Dean suddenly having an 'ah-ha' moment ran over to my duffel bag with dad's journal. He pulled out a baggie in which I kept all of dad's cards. He plucked a tiny card from it, looking stunned," I don't believe it."

"What is it?" I asked coming over and grabbing the card," it's dad's storage unit in upstate New York, so what?"

Dean deadpanned," look closer smart-ass." I rolled my eyes and did so.

The more I red the more it connected the dots," Castle storage. 42 Rover Hill." I looked up at the guys.

Bobby was appalled, standing beside me," so you think your dad had the Micheal sword all this time?"

Dee shrugged," I don't know. I'm sure what else Chuck could have meant."

Bobby looked to the floor," okay, okay," he looked to me," that's good enough for me." Before I could grasp what was going on my face was met with a fist. I fell to the floor in a heap. Dean instantly tried to get Bobby away from me, but he was only thrown across the room. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. _Why would Bobby do this?_ But when he walked back to me, eyes going black, I knew this was _not_ Bobby.

I tried to crawl away but he held me hobby my hair, making me yelp and thrash in pain. He used another hand to wrap around my throat, holding me in place.

Dean stood from the busted closest rubble," you get your fucking hands off her!" Just as Dee was about to charge the demon, more came into the room, and held him captive.

A brunette girl walks in the room, grabbing the demon knife and speaking to my brother," I always knew you were a big, dumb, slow, dim pain in the ass, Dean. But I never dreamed you were so V.I.P." She sounded like she knew him.

She got up close to my brother, using the knife to caress his face,"I mean, you're gonna ice the devil? _You?_ If I'd have known that, I'd have ripped your pretty, pretty face off ages ago."

"Ruby," my brother seethed. If that who this hellbitch was, I wanted to be the one to kill her this time.

"Try again," the demon instructed," go back further."

I racked my brain at the possibilities as her identity, there was one that stuck out," Meg," I lowly answered. The demon acknowledged me with a smile.

"Hi," she continued her spiel," These are the days of miracle and wonder, guys. Our father's among us. You know we're all dreaming again for the first time since we were human? It's heaven on earth. Or hell. We really owe your brother a fruit basket," she looked at us pointedly. The demons would favor Sam wouldn't they?

"My God you like the sound of your own voice," I observed. I felt the demon holding me tighten his grip.

I saw Meg pout," You know, your surrogate daddy's still awake; screaming in there. And I want him to know how it feels slicing the life out of you." Meg gave demon Bobby the all clear to proceed with slicing me open. He looked into my eyes with black soulless ones.

"Bobby, please," I struggled. He backed be into a wall and pinned me there. Dean thrashed more in his captor's arms, trying to get to me. I saw demon Bobby break for a moment and look back at Meg, as if asking permission.

"Now!" She roared.

Bobby pulled out a knife and held it above me," No! Bobby!" I recoiled and shielded my face. I didn't want to feel the pain of being stabbed, although, it wouldn't be the first time. To my relief and despair, I saw Bobby's eyes to back to normal before stabbing himself, killing the demon in him.

Bobby fell to the floor, giving Dean and I time to handle the extra demons in the room. I went head to head with a female, while Dean was getting fist-pounded by a male demon. We were very fortunate when Sam entered the room, saw the chaos and went into action. He helped me nail the demon on me before Meg kicked him to the ground. Dean had come out of no where with the demon knife, having killed the demon in him. He stalked Meg, making her back up. Anyone could see she was scared. Just as she coward, with a scream black smoke billowed out of her mouth and out of the room.

We panted and took in the room around us. I ran to Bobby," boys, we need to get him to a hospital!" I pure pressure on the stab wound. They quickly listened to me and started prepping to leave and help me carry him. Bobby _had_ to live. I don't know what I'd be without him.

The nurses whisked Bobby away on a gurney with lightening speed. Sammy and I were both anxious to stay here and help him, but Dean reminded us that the demons had heard where the sword was-we couldn't let them get to it. With heavy hearts, we left before the hospital staff could question us.

* * *

We arrived at storage room, wasting no time stocking ourselves with weapons and ammunition. There is no telling what we'll find in there.

Sam was the one to insert the key and open it. We held our guns up and ready as we entered, there were dead demons laying about on the floor. Just when this place looked emptier than a hole, Zachariah and his henchmen appeared.

"Oh thank God, the angels are here," Dee said sarcastically with a fake smile.

Zachariah stepped closer," I see you told the demons where the sword is. And to think they could have grabbed it anytime they wanted-" he raised a hand in a sliding motion, making the compartment doors to close us in"- and it was right in front of them."

"What do you mean?" Questioned Sam. _How could it have been right in front of the demons, shouldn't we have known about it?_

The angel explains that they had planted prophecy into Chuck's mind, but it was true: the Micheal sword _was_ missing, but apparently, we've just hand delivered it.

"We don't have anything," Dean beat me to it.

The angel chuckled looking at him," it's you chucklehead, you're the Micheal sword."

We all looked at the angel incredulously," what do you mean he's the sword?" I wondered.

My question made the angel shrug, clarifying," more like Michael's weapon, or rather, his receptacle..." he glared at Dean.

"I'm a vessel?" Wondered Dean back.

"You're _thee_ vessel," Zach added," Michael's vessel. You're chosen! It's a great honor, Dean." He seemed to smile at that.

Of course, my brother brought forth the sarcasm," yeah, life as an angel condom, that's...real fun." He stood his ground," I think I'll pass, thanks."

Zachariah's jaw clenched, eyes hardening," joking...always joking," he looked between us," no more jokes." He raised a finger gun and pointed at me, I thought he looked pretty stupid doing whatever he was doing, but as the words "bang" left his mouth I fell over, my leg giving a sickening crack. I silent screams escaped me as pained tears flooded my vision. Next to me, Sammy fell with the Sam injury. _That fucker just broke our legs!_

"You son of a bitch!" My brother, Dean bit in anger.

Zach's calm was unsettling," keep mouthing off, I'll break more than their legs. I am completely and utterly through screwing around," he goes on to explain Dean's duty as Micheal.

"And how many humans die in the cross fire, huh? Million? Five? Ten?" Countered my brother.

The angel glowered," probably more. If Lucifer goes unchecked, you know how many will die? _All_ of them. He'll roast the planet alive." He spoke like his words were written in stone. I was so thankful that our Dean was a smart cookie, he'd caught on that in order for Micheal to have him, he needed his consent and Dean would never bow down for that– no matter what.

"The answer is no," he told him, standing his ground. The pain in my leg had numbed and became bearable for the moment.

Zachariah raised a challenging eyebrow,"Okay. How about this? Your friend Bobby—we know he's gravely injured. Say yes, and we'll heal him. Say no, he'll never walk again." Sammy and I awaited Dean's answer, silently wishing he'd say no, although it hurt to do so.

Dean, had said no.

The angel cocked his head, getting fired up ever more," then how about we heal your sister from the punctured holes in her lungs?"

My brows knitted, but then pain shot through me, catching me off guard, I leaned forward and started to cough, I looked at my hand when I felt something wet meet it. There was blood there. I could feel my lungs growing heavy. Sam rested a hand on my back trying to help me take deep breaths while Dean's conversation went on with Zach.

I hadn't noticed Sam double over and gasp for air, I was too busy clawing at the pain in my chest. Every breath I took just increase the pain. My lungs felt like they were filled with liquid, I coughed and sputtered blood up all over myself. Somewhere in my misery I was able to tell Dean," don't...say...yes."

My oxygen was used up in those three words, I felt the back of my head meet the cold ground. I stared at the ceiling as my vision started to blot in black spots. I felt my breathing behind to slow, and my skin ran cold. If I died, I could at least be with Castiel, and mom, and dad.

My vision was nearly all black before it cleared. I sat up, taking in large amounts of air. Sam and Dean hovered over me, telling me that everything was okay, and to just breath. I let a little sob go. Being that near death was very scary, it shocked me how ready I was to go...

They helped me stand up, but my eyes caught something: _tan trench coat_. I looked up, praying I wasn't seeing things.

I couldn't blink or look away from him, fearing he would fly off," please tell me you see him too."

"We do, Jul," Sammy assured.

I let my body walk itself up to the angel. He looked relieved to see me, yet fearful from the sudden look of rage in my eye.

I slammed my fists into his chest and pushed him, I grabbed his collar, tears streaming down my face," you son of a bitch! I thought you were dead!" I cried. At least he didn't try to resist me, he just listened," do you have any idea how, sick I was?! Chuck said you died! I saw bits of you everywhere!" I finally gave up on my raging I pulled him to me and hugged him tight. He hugged me back.

"I know, my love, I am so sorry," he sounded wounded in my ear," I've caused you so much torment. I will do whatever you have of me to earn your forgiveness."

I pulled back trying to stop my crying now. If I knew I was going to be crying this much, I'd have quite hunting years ago," you owe me like, a _million_ peaches."

"If that's what you want, I will get it," he sweetly tried to make up for his absence, wiping my wet cheeks.

I chuckled and looked at him in adoration,"oh angel," I pulled him by his coat to meet my lips. The kiss was tender and passionate. It was obvious he missed me just I, him. We pulled apart, panting," just being close to you is enough place to start." I laid my nose against his, touching his forehead to mine.

Someone cleared their throat," gross." It was Sam's voice. I turned in Castiel's hold to look at my brother with a red face, rolling in my eyes. I was already feeling better with my angel around.

"You three do need to be more careful," my angel told us," Lucifer is circling his vessel. And once he takes it, those hex bags won't be enough to protect you." He placed a hand between the valley of my breasts, making me flush, and on Sam's chest. I gasped as it felt like something sharp stroked my ribs. Just as it came, it was gone. Sam and Dean shared the feeling with me.

"What the hell was that?!" Exclaimed Dee.

Castiel answered,"An Enochian sigil. It'll hide you from every angel in creation, including Lucifer."

"What did you do?" Wondered Sam, calming down," brand us with it?"

"No," he answered," I carved it into your ribs." There was a pause among us siblings. It would've chuckled at those words and the way he said it, if he wasn't so serious.

I broke the silence," hey Cas?" He looked at me with soft eyes,"did...did you really die?"

He sighed and nodded," yes."

"The how are you back?" Wondered the oldest brother.

Cas, however, is answer that question. He was gone with the wind...and a flap of bird wings.

* * *

"Unlikely to walk again?! Why, you snot-nosed son of a bitch! Wait till I get out of this bed!" Bobby roared at the doctor. He fled he room in horror of Bobby's wrath. As soon as he left, I took a seat on Bobby's bedside, taking his hand.

He calmed down," you believe that yahoo?"

I shook my head and dismissed," screw him, you'll be fine." I hope for his sake and mine that he believed my lie. He gave me a warm smile nonetheless.

Sam spoke up," So, let me ask the million-dollar question. What do we do now?" He and Dean leaned against the window of the room.

Bobby shrugged," Well... We save as many as we can for as long as we can, I guess. It's bad. Whoever wins, heaven or hell, we're boned."

"What if _we_ win?" Dean asked. His voice skeptical, but there was a twinge of hope wrapped in it. We all stared at him in confusion, _how could we possibly win?_ He stood from the window, uncrossing his arms, walking around the room with an air of confidence.

Dee explained,"I'm serious. I mean, screw the angels and the demons and their shit apocalypse. Hell, they want to fight a war, they can find their own damn planet. This one's ours, and I say they get the hell off it. We take 'em all on. We kill the devil. Hell, we even kill Michael if we have to," he was on the other side of Bobby's bed," But we do it our own damn selves."

I sighed," and how are we supposed to do all this, genius?"

He shrugged and frowned," I got no idea." Wonderful, I think that line just killed the semi-cool speech he just gave," but what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-he'll attitude and I'll figure it out." I smirked.

Bobby smirked as well," you're nine kinds of crazy, boy."

My brother gave a curt nod," it's been said." He patted Bobby on the shoulder, wishing him well. I stood up and walked by the door, needing some food and much needed rest. Before we could walk out the door, Bobby stopped Sam. Dean an I watched Bobby apologize for anything he said as a demon.

"I ain't cuttin' you out boy, not ever." He smiled warmly at his adopted son, making Sam flash a happy smile. I sighed contently, finally feeling happy. I had Castiel, I had my brothers in one piece, whatever is thrown at us, I was sure we could take it. I grabbed Sam's hand and as he walked, I skipped, gold hair bouncing with my steps.


	30. Chapter 31

**Good God Y'all**

 **A/N:** this one isn't my fav, partially because the next chapter is more essential to Julie and Castiel...you could do without reading this chapter and be A-okay.

* * *

Sam used a thumb to rub my shoulder. I was under his arm while we observed Bobby quietly sitting in his wheelchair. He wasn't talking much ever since he obtained the contraption. Seeing him slip into this depression was effecting all of us.

We dully noted Dean coming up and leaning against the opposite wall," it's been like three days now?"

Sammy and I sighed in answer. Dean continued, switching his weight on his feet," we gotta cheer him up," he paused in thought," maybe I'll give him a backrub."

My eyes looked heavenward," Dean."

"Well what then?"

"Listen," I clucked," we have to wrap our heads around the idea that Bobby might not just bounce back this time." At my words my brother stopped joking around, then I noticed the envelope in his hands," whats in the folder?"

"Went to radiology, got some glamor shots," he lifted his brows. To answer my question he pulled x-ray photographs from it and handed it to Sam who held it up to the light, he and I gaped at the sight. Dean's ribs were littered with little enochian sigils and symbols.

"Holy shit," Sam mumbled in awe.

"Yeah well, Cas carved you both one, too," Sam handed the photo back to him and Dee put it in the manila-folder.

I was about to go into Bobby's room, and try to speak with him. I know he has a weak spot for his adopted daughter, when my phone rang, halting my steps. My brows furrowed pulling the device from my pocket. My brothers paid attention as I answered the unknown number, "Hello...?"

"Julie, where are you?" Asked the voice of my angel through the phone.

My eyes went wide," Cas?" I saw my brothers perk up.

"Speak of the devil," Dee commented, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"I'm at St. Martin's hospital, fifth floor, room number eighteen," I heard the opposite end beep," Cas?" I hung up and frowned putting it back in my pocket, not knowing what the purpose for the call was for.

From the corner of my eye I saw him approach us. The way his trench coat flowed behind him and the way a small breeze blew through his feathers, I was captivated. His eyes locked to mine and he stood beside me, resting a warm hand on the small of my back. The lovely tingles that erupted there caused me to blush.

"Cell phone, Cas? Really? Since when do angels need to reach out and touch someone?" Dean berated him.

My angel looked at him pointedly," you're hidden from angels now—all angels. I won't be able to simply–" Bobby surprising interrupted him.

"–enough foreplay!" We all looked to him," get over here and lay your damn hands on," Bobby turned his head to look at us, more so Castiel," get healing!"

We looked expectantly to Castiel, hoping that he could. His face took on a somber nature," I can't." Bobby turned his chair to face the angel with a fire in his eyes.

He gave Castiel a chance to change his words," say again?" His voice a deadly calm. I looked to the floor, having an issue with maintaining eye contact with angered people.

Castiel stood in front of us, explaining," I'm cut off from heaven and much of heaven's power. Certain things I can do. Certain things I can't." Bobby was not happy that he lost his powers just time time for him to be stuck in a wheelchair. Cas made it known that was terribly sorry, there was simply nothing he could do, even if he wanted to.

Castiel came back over to us, I studied his blue orbs as he spoke mostly to Dean about killing Lucifer. He says the plan is foolish and utterly impossible, I supposed I needed to elaborate on the feeling of hope for him. Some feelings he can handle himself, others he needed a little help with. But he did say he had a plan.

"I believe I have the solution. There is someone besides Michael strong enough to take on Lucifer. Strong enough to stop the apocalypse," he shared his thoughts with us.

"Who would that be?" I wondered hopefully, making his ocean eyes snapped to me.

"The one who resurrected me and put you on that airplane. The one who began everything. _God_ ," he looked so certain, however, we were skeptical," I'm gonna find God."

* * *

By this point, not having a plan sounded a shit-ton better than finding God. Sure it seemed completely implausible, but this was Cas, we could give him the benefit of the doubt for once. I listened to Dean give my soulmate shit for his solution, until enough was enough.

I warned my brother, standing beside Cas," Dean, knock it off. Castiel has been through hell twice for us now, the least we could do is go with him on this." The first time, he went to literal hell to save Dee, the other was to go against his family and everything he's ever known.

Castiel nodded in agreement," this is not a theological issue, it's strategic," he paused," with God's help we _can_ win!" I was glad Dee closed the door, or else this would sound pretty comical to normal ears.

Dee spread his hands and slumped," it's a pipe dream, Cas."

Castiel advance on Dean, he snarled," I killed two angels this week. _My_ _brothers_. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world." No one mentioned how he hadn't said my name, but I wasn't complaining. He continued to scold," and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself." He glared at Dean. I crinkled my nose at Castiel's attempt at intimidation. As frightening as Dean may find it, I found it eliciting _other_ feelings.

"You didn't come here just to tear us a new hole, what is it you want?" Wondered my surrogate father.

Castiel looked away from Dean, simmering down," I did come for something," he confessed," an amulet."

This intrigued Bobby," an amulet? What kind?"

"It's very rare, very powerful," he described," it burns hot in God's presence." Bobs told him that we had nothing like that, however bad I wished we did. We could all go hunt down God with something like that.

"No you don't," my angel said to Bobs. He then looks pointedly at Dean, making his brows furrow. Castiel's eyes sank to the necklace with the hummingbird charm that rested on his chest.

They met eyes, after silence," what, this?"

"May I borrow it?" He politely requested, I would've easily have said yes.

"No." Dee defended.

But Cas was in no mood for games," Dean. Give it to me." We all watched Dean go into deep thought about this. Thinking better of it, he cautiously took it off, before placing it into Castiel's hand, he rubbed the silver charm.

"Don't, lose it." Was his one condition,then the amulet was in the angel's hands. I could tell he was grateful for our help and cooperation for once.

Cas gave a small nod," I'll be in touch." I wasn't prepared when he locked eyes with me. I studied him walking to me, before placing a soft kiss to my cheek, he lingered for a moment. I caught a whiff of his scent...it was oddly minty, but I loved it nonetheless. Then it was as if he was never in the room in the first place. The only proof that he had been here was from the missing necklace on Dean and the fuzzy-ness I felt in my chest.

* * *

When Castiel left, Bobby was given a rather...frantic call from Rufus. The line was all scratchy, but he managed to give Bobby a location and a case. Apparently there was demon cluster in Riverpass, Colorado. Seeing to it that Bobby couldn't leave the hospital yet, we three went to check it out.

The bridge to enter the town had completely caved in on itself. I suspected the demons detonated it. They sure knew what they were doing too, this was the only way in and out of the joint. It was a good thing we all had our hiking shoes on.

"If the zombie apocalypse were to start, this would be the place," I anounced to my family. The entire town was barren. Cars were flipped over on the street, buildings were busted in, random blood splatters, I mean, this place looked ready for the "big screen". Sam acknowledged me with and eye roll.

Something that was highly contrasted to the damage on the streets was a beautiful, red, 1965 Ford Mustang. It was untouched and so clean. I didn't realize my mouth was hanging open," you're drooling, sis," Dee noted. I closed my mouth as we carried on.

An empty baby stroller by an empty car caught my eye. There was blood everywhere around it. I prayed that nothing happened to the child. The cocking of a gun captured all of our attention behind us. We drew our triplet peal-gripped pistols.

"Ellen?" Sam wondered with hope.

She gave a curt nod," hello, boys and girl." I finally relaxed. Ellen was always like a mother figure for me and my brothers. We were lucky to have her.

As a test, she flung holy water at Dean, just to be sure we weren't one of the demons in the town. When we passed she led us to a church. Ellen was a very smart woman, she had the entrances laced with traps and salt.

Once in she turned to us expectantly. I couldn't hold back any longer," I'm so glad to see you Ellen!" I wrapped my arms around her neck and she instantly returned the embrace, carding her fingers through my hair to rest at the back of my head.

"Julianne Beth, I hope you're keeping these boys out of trouble," she pulled back and hugged Dean, pulled back then surprised us with by slapping his across the face.

"Ow!" Dean bleated.

"The can of whoop-ass I outta open on you!" She reprimanded all of us. I looked to the floor, feeling ashamed. She went on," You can't pick up a phone? What are you, allergic to giving me peace of mind? I got to find out that you're alive from Rufus?"

Dean apologized, but she wasn't finished," yeah, you better be. You better put me on speed dial, kid." He muttered a weak 'yes, ma'am'.

Ellen led us into a second room. It was the many eyes that stared back at us that filled me with unease. They were all looking up to us. Our friend filled us in on the place, they're used to be twenty of them when they tried escaping, but now they have been reduced to a little more than half. Ellen had been hunting with Jo, which is a nice change up considering how passionate Jo is about hunting. Jo was like a sister to me and I was dying to see her. It even came as a surprise when we found out that we had similar names, her's being: Joanne Beth.

It wasn't long until we started formulating a plan," what if we get everyone guns?" Sam asked.

Dean tried to be not discrete,"what? You gonna arm up baby-bump over here." I looked up at the woman with the bun-in-the-oven. She looked so scared about all of this. However, just because she was pregnant doesn't mean she shouldn't learn to use a gun.

Sam explained," More salt we can fire at once, more demons we can keep away."

"There's a sporting goods store we passed on Main on the way in. They've got to have guns," I offered my piece. I turned to Ellen," if Jo and Rufus are out there, we'll bring them back." I promised. She took my hand and kissed my knuckle, wishing us luck as we walked out the door.

We left the main hall of the church, when Sam and Dean started going at it. Dean was trying to convince Sammy that he should stay behind and give everybody Shotgun 101, but Sam saw right through him. I had to admit, even I did, Dean was afraid of our brother being around demon blood.

I went with Dean while Sam checked a gas station for any water or food he could find. The air between Dean an I was comfortable as we stashed guns away in a duffel bag.

"So," he started us awkwardly," you and Cas are an item, huh?"

I smirked and made eye contact with Dean," I suppose we are. Why? Do I have to check with you first?"

He shook his head," nah, you're not a baby anymore," I paused, looking at him, but he continued stashing ammunition away," but I swear to God if that feathered idiot, hurts you-" I stopped him before he could go on.

"-you'll castrate him! I know Dean, you've given me this speech before," I dismissed him. I silently wonder what he's doing speaking with me about this again, usually he gets onto me only once, but it's enough.

He zipped the bag and looked down at me," I know I have it's just..." he sighed," I can see how much you care about each other– a little odd that it's this early, but I guess you don't have a 'normal' relationship, huh?" He shifted his weight uncomfortably.

"Dean?" I looked at him flatly.

"Yeah?"

"Are you done?" A gave a small smile, letting him know that I understand his good intentions.

He looked to the floor," yeah." I chuckled clapping him in the shoulder, telling him I loved him in a sing-song voice, as I walked out. We made it back to Sam without a problem, apparently our brother had otherwise. He was standing over two dead bodies, bloody demon knifed raised.

We made it back to the church, giving all the residence a lesson on how to use a gun. I was given the privilege of teaching baby-momma and daddy how to use it, but they seemed more at ease with the knowledge. That's all we could really ask for at this point. I was sitting with my brothers, speaking with Sam who was concerned that his demon addiction could best him, when Ellen came up, saying her goodbye.

"Whoa, where are you going?" I wondered. We had to stay together here.

She adjusted the shotgun on her back," I just can't sit here on my ass. My daughter's out there somewhere. If I'm not back in half an hour, go. Get these people out of here." She started to show herself out.

"No, wait!" Sam called, standing up," I'll go with you." Dean shot up and rested a hand on Sam's shoulder, asking to speak with him for a second. They walked away and I ventured over to Ellen.

"What's goin' on between those two?" She asked be gently.

I shook my head, sighing," nothing good, Ellen. I swear, those two are gonna be the death of me." At my words she played with a curtain of my hair, to try and comfort me.

The sound of someone being pushed or shoved turned everyone's attention to my brothers. Sam had pushed Dean we were lucky they stopped when they did; it could've been so much more ugly

It was decided that Sam and Ellen would go scope out where Jo and Rufus were, while Dean and I stayed with the townspeople.

* * *

Two hours later Ellen came back looking pissed and exhausted, but...she came alone.

"Where's Sam?" My brother asked the question on my mind. All she did was give us a look of sorrow and avoid our stared.

I tried not to let my heart get ahead of itself," he's not...he can't be...is..." I couldn't say it or think about it. Sammy couldn't have died out there. I knew someone else should've gone with them.

She shook her head catching on," they took him." I was relieved, but anxious to go get him back. I watched my brother grab a shot gun and sprint for the door, only, something halted his steps. A thought. He turned and looked back to us. We needed a plan, we couldn't just jump in and save Sam with our asses hanging out.

Ellen, Dean, and I huddled together at a table, discussing this whole mess. Ellen made known that Jo had called her a black-eyed bitch, which was odd because Ellen wasn't a demon, but to her, Jo was the demon.

I ran my fingers through my blonde tresses,"there's something we're missing."

Dean winked at Ellen, every time I said those words I was usually close to figuring it out. Dean tested me," so what do we know, princess?"

I rested my hands on the table, thinking aloud," well, to Ellen, Jo looked like a demon, but to Jo, Ellen was a demon, and clearly, she's not." I gestured to her beside me," what if there's nothing wrong with Jo either?" I countered my own thought.

"Why would that be?" Dean pressed further.

My brows furrowed," a hallucination maybe? Didn't Rufus say he came here investigating omens? What kinds?" I asked now.

"He said something about water, that's all I know," Ellen generously provided me.

Dean quirked a brow, turning to look at the pastor in the room," padré, you know what she's talking about–the water?"

The pastor with the spectacles nodded," the water–ran polluted all of the sudden."

"When?" Further questioned my brother.

"Last Wednesday and then the demon thing started up the next day," answered Austin, one of the few people who knew how to properly handle a firearm.

"Anything else? Anything," we needed everything odd to help us.

Austin answered once more, "kinda weird, but shooting star–real big, same night–Wednesday. Does that count?"

Dean and I looked at each other. That definitely counts. I got up, a thought hatching in my mind. I pulled a Bible off one of the book shelves and started to read," _And there fell a great star from heaven, burning like a torch, and it fell upon the river, and the name of the star was Wormwood. And many men died."_

The pastor picked up on the passage," Revelation 8:10. Are you saying this is about the Apocalypse?" He looked accusingly at me.

Dean shrugged taking the heat for me," you could say. And these specific omens, they're prelude to what?"

The pastor's next words were unexpected," the Four Horseman." At that so many light bulbs went off inside my head.

"I've got it," I declared, setting the Bible back.

"Lay it on us, hun," Ellen encouraged.

"War is the horseman described as riding a red horse-the cherry red mustang we saw parked on Main," I began to explain," what if there are no demons, what if it's just some gimmick to turn us on each other, in other words: we're _at war."_

Dean nodded in approval," it's the way I'd roll." Also trying to convince the townspeople here that this was actually happening.

Ellen smiled proudly at me," Julianne Beth Winchester, you're a genius."

I giggled lightly, blushing at the attention I was getting," oh please, I just put the puzzle pieces together, and I had help."

The pastor's face was crestfallen," wait, just back up. It's the Apocalypse?"

Dee gave him a sheepish smile," sorry Padré."

* * *

The residence bombarded us with questions, some we didn't have the answers to a banging on the door pulled us from your little Q&A.

"Open up! It's Roger!" The voice on the other side mumbled. Austin check the peep-hole before letting the frantic man in. The side of his face had blood and he was jittery. People who knew him ran to his side. He started carrying on about what he'd seen," I saw them, the demons! They know we're trying to leave. They said they're gonna pick us off one by one."

I squinted, not believing this, Austin beat us to questions," I thought you said there were no demons?"

"There's not." I corrected," what the hell were you doing outside? No one is expected to leave unless, you're armed and prepared to use a firearm. When did you even leave?" I grew wary of this man, no one was supposed to leave. All the sudden he comes back making some _very_ bold statements that will do nothing, but scare the people in here. This had "fishy" written all over it.

Austin squared his shoulders," if we just sit here we're going to be dead."

"No, we're not!" I snapped. There was a panic spreading in the room. Roger kept going on about the demons that didn't exist. "Hey!" I shouted," you never answered my question! Why the hell were you outside?"

Amidst the panic of the people both Dean and I watched Roger sink into the crowd, he winked at me, holding up a ringed-finger and rubbing the metal. Just then it clicked. This man wasn't Roger, he was War.

"Look at their eyes! They're demons!" He expertly feigned terror. The room was in an uproar. Dean grabbed my hand and we sprinted with Ellen to the exit, narrowly missing gunfire.

We needed a better plan to get through to the other people. Ellen guided us to the house where Sam was, there was no doubt that Rufus and Jo were there too. We knew Rufus would have the place covered in traps at all entrances, so I did my part and set the trap to a window off. While the people inside investigated, we took advantage of their distraction. It didn't take long, but Jo and Rufus saw through the demon hallucination.

I went in the home with Rufus and Dean. At the same time Jo and I sprinted for each other, trading a tight hug," you would not believe the shit we've been through."

She pulled away, smiling," I want to hear all about it." We chuckled with each other, the others watching our reunion.

Rufus apologized for Sam, but there's no way he could've known he wasn't a demon, we were just happy to have Sam back. We were all on the same page that War needed to go, so Rufus and Ellen went about saving the others and convincing them that it was just a trick, while my brothers and I set out to take War's ring.

We were lucky we got him just before he hopped inside the beautiful mustang. Dean and Sam held him, while I pulled out the demon knife.

"Whoa. Okay. That's a sweet little knife. But come on. You can't kill war, darling," War spoke sweetly.

"Oh, we know," I smirked and lunged for his hand, cutting off his fingers, the important one with the ring the primary goal. He bellowed in pain. I bent over to pick up the gold band, however, when I stood back up, War was no where to be found, or his car for that matter.

Dean panted," guess we showed him, huh?" A smug smile situating on his lips.

* * *

"So, pitstop at Mount Doom?" Dean suggested shoots holding up the gold ring in the sunlight. We'd stopped at a rest-stop in a mountainous region. I sat beside Sam on a picnic table, Dean sat in front of us.

As usual, it didn't take long for my brothers to get into it," Dean, I know you don't trust me." My brother in question looked away at that, making me roll my eyes. At what point were they gonna get past their mistakes and accept what they are for right now?

Sam continued," Just...now I realize something. I don't trust me either." I looked at Sammy.

"Sammy–" he cut me off.

"–I'm not safe to be around, Juls. From the minute I saw that blood, the only thought in my head...and I tell myself it's for the right reasons, my intentions are good, and it, it feels true, you know? But I think, underneath...I just miss the feeling." My tall brother, then elaborates that he real problem here is with him, not the demon blood. I found his reasoning entirely preposterous.

"So what are you saying?" I asked, nervously playing with my fingers, feeling like I know where this is going.

Sam looked to me with sad eyes," I'm in no shape to be hunting. I need to step back, 'cause I'm dangerous. Maybe it's best we just...go our separate ways." I gaped and glanced at Dean, he wasn't doing anything to stop him.

"Um, no," I set my jaw as I scolded Sam," you're place is with us."

"Well, I think you're right, Sam," Dee agreed.

"Dean!" I warned.

"The truth is I spend more time worrying about you, Sam, than about doing the job right. And I just, I can't afford that, you know? Not now," Dean's words had rage filling me. Sammy was our brother, we couldn't let him go again. The last time he left us was for Stanford and I wasn't ready for his departure _again_.

"I'm sorry," Sam apologized.

"I know you are, Sam," my oldest brother told him. I couldn't believe he was doing nothing to stop him. I sat speechless in my seat. Sam turned to me, cupped the back of my neck and placed a kiss to my forehead. He stood to leave, but Dean offered him the fucking Impala.

"No," he says," that's okay. He looked between Dean and I," take care of yourselves okay?"

I sighed, fighting the lump in my throat," you too, Sammy." He left. He really left. He walked to the impala, retrieving his book bag, then asked for a ride, which he was given.

"I hate you both," I muttered, watching the truck drive away with my brother.

I heard Dean chuckle lightly," we love you too. C'mon, we've got a drive ahead of us."

"To where?" I asked standing from the table and walking with my brother to the car.

"Vamp case-in Michigan," he answered. My heart is heavy with Sam's leaving, but: when one door closes, another one opens, I supposed.


	31. Chapter 32

**Free to be You And Me**

 **A/N** : 'Tis here...the smut scene

 **Warning:** explicit sexual themes

 **rated** : M

 **Song I picked to fit the scene** : Monday by _Matt Corby_. If this was a movie, this song is definitely playing when the do is being done.

 _~Enjoy!_

* * *

I went over to the sink, hoping to wash the blood from my hands and clothes. I knew it was a terrible idea to wear a white tank-top under a plaid over shirt, but what can I say? I did it anyway and now I was covered in vampire blood.

I washed my hands in the sink, pulling back, and turning off the water when I noticed someone behind me. "Shit!" I gasped and held my heart. I looked back to the extra person in the mirror," you need a bell or something, sweetie–you scared me." My voice drew Dean's attention from the living room of the motel.

"Hello, my love. I'm sorry to have-" his eyes caught the blood on my shirt, along with the many rips in the fabric,"- are you hurt?" He reached out to me and I to him, relishing in the contact.

I shook my head quickly to assure him," n-no, angel, this isn't mine– we just got back from a vampire hunt." He was inches from my face, his lips just begging to be kissed. He relaxed at my explanation and tightening his grip on my arm, letting me know he was glad I was okay.

Dean cleared his throat," alright you lovebirds, Cas, how'd you find us? I thought we were flying under the angel radar."

Cas nodded, looking around the room for something," you are. Bobby told me where you were." Apparently he didn't find whatever it was," where's Sam?"

I shifted my weight at that," he decided it was better that we go separate ways." My voice was laced with sadness, which Castiel noticed. He tucked some of my bangs be hind my ear, comfortingly, then moving more towards Dean to speak with him.

"I need both your help," he made known his intentions.

My brother scoffed, he was messing with his bag on the bed," with what? God hunt? Not interested." As much as I want to focus on their conversation, I need to change our of these putrid clothes. I went over to my bed and shed the over shirt, then pulling the camisole over my head with my back turned to the boys.

My angel shook his head," it's not God. I-its," he stuttered for a second," someone else."

"Who?" Wondered Dee. I grabbed a baggy t-shirt from my duffel and threw it on. I glanced at my pants and sighed when I found blood splattered there as well. Without thinking I unbuttoned the jeans and pulled them down. I was accustomed to living with my brothers who had seen me in my underwear on hot days. I forgot Castiel wasn't accustomed to seeing that.

"R-Raphael," he stuttered against and gulped so loud I could hear it from over here. _Why was he behaving like that?_ I wondered to myself. I continued taking the pants off and putting clean ones on," h-he's the archangel who k-killed me."

"Cas," Dean started," my eyes are up here." Finally clothed I looked to see a very fluster angel, and a domineering looking brother.

"Oh..." I felt my face heating up, realizing," oops, sorry." Cas waved me off with a frown, obviously not that upset. I walked back over to the two of them.

My brother turned back to his duffel bag," so, what? You think you can find this dude and he's just gonna spill God's address?"

My angel's face was deadly serious as he spoke," _yes_ , because we are gonna trap him and interrogate him." I was already signed up for whatever, plus I could spend some time with him; why wouldn't I be in?

"I'm ready when you are," I stated, causing Cas to give me a half smile.

Dean paused his actions, turning to us," holy shit you're serious about this, huh?" He thought for a minute looking Castiel over," give me one good reason why we should?"

Castiel's eyes turned to pleading ones, he desperately needed us," I need your help because you are the _only_ ones who'll help me," count me in, sign me up a thousand times, I just wanted my angel to be happy," Please," he begged further. After a moment, Dean took in my pleading face as well, not being able to resist it, he complied, making my angel visibly relax.

"Where is he?" I asked. This archangel sounded like a pretty big deal.

"Main," he answered, wrapping a hand around my waist," let's go," he raised a hand to my brother's forehead, attempting to zap us, but Dee stopped him.

"Whoah! Last time you zapped me somewhere I didn't poop for a weak," he objected. Castiel looked very confused," we're driving." He settled.

* * *

I stepped out of the impala with the two boys, venturing to the trunk where we could recap and equip any needed weapons. Dean asked Castiel why we're were outside of a sheriff's department.

"A deputy sheriff laid eyes on the archangel," the angel answered, looking around. Dean made some remark about the guy still having eyes, remembering what happened to Pamela. Cas looked at Dean with a glare, obviously that was something that still stung him.

"What's our plan?" I inquired, resting my hands on my hips. We were posing as FBI agents, ready to do whatever we must.

My soulmate spoke a little hesitant," we'll...tell the officer that he witnessed an angel of the Lord, and the officer will tell us where the angel is."

My brother scoffed," you're gonna walk in there and tell him the _truth_?" I chuckled a bit, noticing Castiel's loosened tie and unhooked buttons.

"Why not?" He looked very confused and I could understand why he would be. I mean, shouldn't telling the truth be a good thing?

Chuckling, I went in front of him," becuase we're human," I pulled out his fake FBI credential and stashed it inside his suit. I moved my attention to his unfastened buttons and buttoned them," and when humans want something really really bad-" I moved to the final button"- we _lie_."

He looked at me in deep confusion,"why?-" I tightened his tie.

Dean answered before I could," because, that's how you become president." With a smug smile we were off.

Dean called the deputy over and he introduced himself and me, flashing our badges," hi, Alonzo Mosley FBI, these are my partners, Angela Williams, and Eddie Moscone..." Cas just stood there, staring," _also_ FBI." I had to fight a chuckle at how cute he was. Luckily he caught on and flashed his badge, but...it was upside down. I sincerely hopped Deputy Framingham believed he was new guy.

The deputy was able to tell us where the discarded vessel of Raphael was being instituted, although he had no idea he was a vessel. After obtaining his location we ventured to his hospital room, at St. Pete's, and he did _not_ look good. I worried for Dean's being if Micheal decided to dispose of him like this, Castiel said it would be worse for him.

* * *

It was dark by the time we found an abandon house to bunk in for the night. I had requested my brother to fetch me dad's journal, he set it on the table before me. He started speaking to someone who wasn't me, drawing my gaze up.

"Where've you been?" He asked the angel who was now in the room. It hadn't surprised me when he disappeared hours ago, but now he was back and we could question him.

"Jerusalem," he stayed, I noticed a vase he held in his a hand.

Surprised and genuinely curious I asked," really? How was it?"

He came over and set the vase of some liquid on the table," arid." Oh, it's a good thing arid places weren't my favorite.

"What's that?" I pointed to the vase.

He spoke as he sat down," its oil, very special. Very rare." I pursed my lips, wondering how that would trap an archangel.

My brother shared my thoughts," okay, so we trap Raphael with a nice vinaigrette-that's-that's nice."

"So this ritual," I stated cautiously," when does this go down?"

"Sunrise," he responded, looking at me.

Dean looked around in thought for a moment," do we have any chance of surviving this?"

"You two do," he sounded very certain. My brows furrowed, _what about him?_ Him dying last time almost killed me, I couldn't go through that again. I wanted him around. He sensed my elevated heart rate and breathing," I'll never truly leave you." That didn't really make me feel any better, I wanted him here physically and tangible.

"So odds are you're a dead man tomorrow?" Dean elaborated on that thought.

"Yes," my angel answered. _Over my dead body first_ , I thought.

"Well," Dean looked around," last night on earth, what are your plans?"

Cas smoothed his trench coat with his hands," I just thought I'd sit here quietly with Julie." I pouted, that was sweet of him, but he really should live a little.

My brother rolled his eyes, walking around," oh come on, anything? Booze...get laid," his eyes flashed to me. Both Castiel and I flushed.

"Dean," I threatened. If Castiel didn't want to do anything, I would be more than happy to do nothing with him. However, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about the angel in an intimate light. He's...he's someone I'd be happy with losing my virginity to... _if_ the situation ever came up.

At Cas's discomfort, Dee pressed him further," y-you have been with a woman before, right? Or an angel at least?" I watched my soulmate shift in his seat. I wanted to end his embarrassment.

Cas rubbed the back of his neck," I never found occasion, alright? Besides, I wouldn't want anyone, other than my mate." I flushed impossibly deeper at his confession. Dean looked at me with a cocky grin. Whatever he was thinking, wasn't good.

"Alright," he clapped his hands, picking up his jacket and putting it on," there are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you two are not gonna die virgins. Not on my watch. Let's go." Both Castiel and I watched him walk out the door, intending for us to follow him. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me not to follow. I stood and grabbed the angel's hand.

"We don't have to do anything, let's just give my brother peace of mind." I lead him behind me to the impala, sitting in the back with him. If Castiel wasn't ready, I wasn't going to force him, we could just watch a movie or something.

on the way to a hotel, Dean was giving pointers that made my face heat up in embarrassment. He booked the honeymoon suit, handed us the key to the room, telling us," you kids have fun! And wrap it up!" and that he'd be back before sunrise to pick us up.

There was an awkward silence between him and I as I found the room. I opened it up and gaped at the beautiful room. I closed the door behind Cas as he looked over the place too. I chanced a look at my soulmate, and he caught my eye, I looked away quickly, feeling like a lovestruck school-girl.

I cleared my throat before grabbing a few chairs and pulling them into the living room. I made diligent work of stripping the bed of its sheets and spanning the cover over the top of the chairs.

Castiel's voice broke the silence," w-what are you doing there?"

I turned to him after throwing a mess of sheets under the 'roof'," I'm making a fort, want to help?"

He probably didn't even know what I was doing, but he stepped forward anyway, offering his aid," Dean seems to be under the impression that we will be rooming together sexually."

My eyes darted to his, locking with those ocean eyes," do you want to?" My question caught him off guard, as he swallowed hard.

"I-I...um," he stuttered," intercourse with a soulmate is quite a process. I-I w-wouldn't be o-opposed," he nervously tried to speak with me, making me smile," doing this would bond you to me and I to you...I-it's permanent." I liked that he was sharing all the ramifications of what having sex with him would entail, but...my mind is set: I don't want anyone else, I want _Cas_.

"I appreciate you telling me that, Cas," I thought about my next words carefully. I'm usually not good with flirting or seduction, but for him, I would try," if doing this means I can't be with anybody else, then good. I don't want anybody else, angel, I want _you_. I've been saving my virginity for the right man, and I truly believe that that person, is you." The smile that broke his face, melted my heart.

"Thank you," he became a little bashful. It was adorable," hearing you say that, it means a lot."

I giggled, finished up the fort with his help," let's just go slow, at our own pace, yeah?"

He nodded, face looking brighter," yeah."

I'd managed to find some comfortable clothes in one of the drawers and put them on, finding Cas a pair as well. I had to admit, seeing him ditch he trench for some sweats and t-shirt was doing things to me. We laid in our fort and talked about everything- his wings wrapped around him like a cocoon. Now, I had let him see my sketchbook, which probably made me feel more vulnerable than being naked ever would. It alarmed me how much his opinion mattered to me.

He ran his hand over a sketch I made of him. Ever since he rose Dean out of hell, he was the infatuation of my mind, he and that little blackbird. As time grew on, I drew other things, but they wouldn't escape my mind for the longest time.

"I seem to have haunted your mind, I am sorry, my love," he apologized, looking to meet my blue orbs.

I shook my head," I prefer the term _blessed_." He looked down to my lips and then back to the book hesitantly. He flipped the page to see a drawing of my favorite hummingbird species. I heard him chuckle," what is it?"

"I find your passion for hummingbirds amusing and- I believe the word is- _cute_. What is this bird?" He asked innocently.

My heart swelled," that's a Sparkling Violet-ear. They're my favorite."

"It's beautiful," he complimented. After he went quiet for a second he spoke again," you know it was me who placed that hummingbird charm before your feet many years ago?"

My eyes widened, he had been around for _that long?_ " That was _you_?" I breathed out in awe. It was the same charm that hung around the amulet Castiel now possessed.

He nodded," it was a gift. I also assisted you when your father pulled you and your siblings to target practice for the first time. I aimed your gun to hit its mark."

I gaped at him, not knowing what to say. Because of that, there wasn't a target I couldn't hit, I was damn near perfect and all because my angel helped me, I couldn't stop the question that slipped," why?"

Castiel looked down, closing the book and placing it above of our heads. He sighed," your father is not a generous man when he gets angry, Julie," he looked in my eyes" I saw into your future, when you did not shoot the bulls-eye, John took his anger out on you. Every time you failed there was a new punishment, more torturous than the last. He was _cruel_ to you," I saw him start to vibrate with anger," by helping you shoot perfectly, I was able to protect you from him. I'm sorry I've kept this from you," he saw the tears welling in my eyes," I just wanted you safe, my love," he rested his head against mine.

I decided that I could not be mad at him. He was just trying to protect me, I could've been put through so much worse," no, it's okay, Cas. Thank you for watching over me."

"I love you, Julie, I'll always be there for you," he whispered. I couldn't take it anymore, I closed the short distance and pressed my lips to his. He responded immediately with a groan, moving to hover over me. I felt bad that his wings had a hard time being cramped under the 'roof' of our fort. Nevertheless, I angled my head to deepen the kiss, heating the situation up.

I experimentally licked at his bottom lip, wondering if he understood what I was asking. I was surprised when he did. He opened his mouth, letting my tongue in to map out the inside. He groaned in pleasure...the lights in the room, popping their sockets, was easily ignored. My tongue danced with his for dominance. The little sounds he made only encouraged me, but I needed air. I pulled back, in a daze, panting, he, however, was not.

I tugged at the ends of his hair at his neck. He brushed his nose against mine lovingly," Julie, if we go further, I won't be able to stop," he almost whimpered.

I cupped his prickly cheek with my hand," then don't." He watched me closely, for any sign of doubt. I added," take me, mark me, do what ever you must, I want to be with you and only you for as long as I live, my mate." He smiled, leaning down to recapture my lips, letting our tongues fight once more. He pushed himself up more to hover better over me, but his growing member rubbed against my core causing a moan to slip from me, into his mouth. He then attached his lips to my jawline, placing sweet kisses there and to my ear, eliciting a few more sounds from my throat, to encourage him.

He traveled down my neck with kisses, finding my sweet spot at the base, making me whimper, and my womanhood throb," there it is," I heard him pant. I wanted to question him, but before I could, he placed a palm to my neck, a white light emitting from his hand and a searing pain originating at my shoulder.

I cried out, but he cooed to me that everything was okay, and sweet apologies. For as much pain as I felt, I trusted him. He removed his hand and the light went away, now a warm red liquid seeped from the spot. I felt him press his mouth there and kiss the it, pleasure overriding the pain. He licked away the blood as he kissed and sucked, making heat pool between my legs.

"C-Cas," I whimpered. I needed him for than I could put into words.

"I know, my love," he came back up to my mouth," I've marked you, you are mine to have. All creatures from heaven and earth will know that you belong to me," his dominance was unexpected, but it only drove my lust for him up the wall. I watched with lidded eyes as he pulled his shirt over his head and carefully took the roof of our fort down. I was about to asking him what that was for when his wings fanned above his head, pridefully. I couldn't take my eyes away from them, if I could I have been drooling over his toned and gorgeous body. He brought a hand to his own shoulder and seared a mark into his own skin. I didn't think I only acted. I sat up and assaulted his mark, licking the blood away, letting pleasure overtake him too. He grunted then pulled me away and laid me back," the mark is Enochian, we bear each other's name." I found myself liking that idea. I smiled warmly.

Something about Castiel's wings caught my eyes just then. A few feathers were turning a very vibrant blue," Cas, your wings," I noted.

He came to lean back over me, letting his wings stretch and vibrate. In the moonlight they seemed to pop in an iridescent blue," it's somewhat of a mating ritual," he quietly explained, then hid his face in my neck. I continued to watch his wings dance and shake their feathers. I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful. It seems like he could move each individual one, presenting me with a spectacular light show. I wanted to touch them.

I waited until their lovely movements seized and they fanned around his face, once he sat up, to ask," c-can I touch them?"

He looked like he'd won the lottery," please do, my love." He let them rest on either side of me. I couldn't keep my grabby hands away as I ran them through the onyx feathers. They felt like the softest silk beneath my fingers-tips.

I heard him release a strangled moan. Snatching my hand back I fretted," did I hurt you?" I asked, becoming worried. I hadn't meant to harm him!

He shook his head, almost letting out a growl," no, they're sensitive... _do it again_." _So my touch to his wings was giving him pleasure?_ I smirked, returning my hands to his wings and rubbing circles into them. Watching him writhe between my touch was erotic, and turning me on in a way I didn't think was possible. I gave a handful of feathers a gentle tug, making moan out right. His eyes snapped open to me, before I knew it, my shirt was off and he was kissing his way down my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair as he came to my bra. In one swift move, it was shed. His lips found my breasts making me squirm. His tongue flicked a nipple and I tugged his hair.

I was a panting mess. I rolled my core against his own member, silently telling him where I needed him most, making him growl into my chest. He returned a roll of his hips, I wondered if he could feel just how wet I already was through the fabric of my pants. He brought both of his hands down and helped me discard my pants and underwear. In turn, I helped him shed his, both of us lightly laughing. I couldn't believe we were about to do this.

Once he lost his sweats, he came back to lips and kissed me sweetly," oh we are, my love," he whisper over my lips. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders, needing to feel his skin against mine. Then, he did something I wasn't prepared for. He brought his hand down to my woman hood and used two fingers to scissor me. He watched my reaction to his fingers, which made my mouth form an 'O'. His member twitched witch pre-cum at my wetness he fingered through.

"Mmm, Cas," I hummed contently. He massaged the nub and then slipped a finger inside me, making me arch my back. His finger movements helped drive me up to my climax. He added a second finger, making me groan, then he quickened his pace. I felt a knot building in my tummy.

I shook my head," Cas, I need you. I want to come with you in me." I begged practically on the verge of tears. He removed his fingers and kissed my lips again, silencing my cries.

"As you wish, my love," he used a hand to spread my legs, letting him situate himself between them. He took his length in his hand and rubbed it against my folds, coating himself in my justices. In hindsight, I was very surprised that he knew so much about intercourse, I tried to remind myself to ask him about that later.

I let my hands rest on his back as he finally inserted himself, slowly pushing all the way into me. I had thought he wouldn't fit, but it seems he was made to fit me. It was more than perfect.

He grunted and I whined at the stretch. The burn brought tears to my eyes. His lips came down to kiss my tears away," shh, I'm so sorry, my sweet. I promise you'll feel better soon." He promised me. I nodded and he pulled out making me whine, then he slowly entered me again. The pain was becoming more faint the more he thrusted into me.

I let out a moan,"Castiel." I ran my fingers through his hair lovingly, and pulled his face back to me and kissed him tenderly.

"I'm here, my love," he moved to place kisses on my neck and nipped at the skin with his teeth. I encouraged him to go faster, he complied. The new pace heightened my arousal. I don't think that, even with a human, I could experience lust and desire like this. I met his hips, sinking him ever deeper, hitting my g-spot.

"Mmm, right there angel! Don't stop, please don't stop!" I ordered. I felt him quicken his thrusts evermore. He used a hand to pull my right thigh up, drilling into me at an inhuman speed.

My orgasm was nearing me," I'm so close!" I told him, breathlessly moaning his name once more. He brought his lips to my mark and sucked, helping me over the edge. My breathing became labored as I skyrocketed," Cas...I'm...I'm-" I stopped myself with a cry of pleasure. My walls clenched around him as I shook beneath him. My eyes closed from the intensity of the orgasm. He sat up suddenly, wings fanning out and quivering, displaying themselves wholly for me.

He continued to pound into me as I rode out my wave of ecstasy. I heard his breathing begin to labor like mine and he came, moaning my name over and over. His wings started to flap a bit and I felt hot liquid fill spew inside me, making me spasm on my own again.

"You feel that my love?" He thrusted in and out," that's me, that's _mine_ , not Jimmy, that's _me_ painting your walls, I'm the one filling you." He spilled rope after rope of his hot seed into me, wings flapping like mad. The feeling of his angelic cum had me quaking in another orgasm. He rode me out again, and began to slow down, coming down from both our highs. He slumped against me, panting. I felt exhausted beyond words.

"Where..." I breathed," did you learn _that_?"

He slowly sat up and pulled himself out, the loss of him almost hurt. With a good look at him he seemed...to be glowing. He came laid beside me," pleasing my soulmate sexually comes as instinct. Why? Did I hurt you?" Worry filled his voice as he looked at me with wide-eyes.

I shook my head, smiling, feeling him relax," it's far from hurt, angel." I yawned, which he caught.

"Get some rest, Julie, I'll be here when you wake." He pulled the blanket up over me, but my brows furrowed when he went around the fort doing somethin with the blankets. He was building them up intricately.

"What are you doing?" I asked curiously through my a sleepy fog.

"Nesting," he simply answered. Come to think of it, he had built a perfect little nest around us. He placed the roof-sheet back over us, before joining me. I cuddled up to him, his arms and wings wrapping around me protectively. I felt even more connected to him, if that was even possible. I found my mind at ease being this close to him than before. Something in the air had changed between us. It wasn't a bad change, if anything I was excited to see where this led. What we had just shared, it _meant_ something.

* * *

When we met back up with Dean he was so thrilled that his little sister had finally got some. Of course, I didn't give him the satisfaction of outright telling him we did the do, he just sort of _knew_. Probably because Cas and I couldn't stop smiling and giggling. Dean did not stop with the jokes. I was just glad he hadn't noticed my mark yet.

Sadly, duty calls and we were back at St. Pete's Hospital, preparing the ritual for Raphael to come through.

"When the oil burns, no angel can touch or pass through the flames, or he dies," my soulmate explained after pouring the oil in a circle around the empty vessel. If this didn't work we always had a back up plan.

I nodded in understanding," okay, so we trap him in a steel cage of holy fire, but one question: how the hell do we get him here?"

Castiel answered contently," very simple. There's, well, almost an open phone line between a vessel and his angel. One just has to know how to dial." He leaned over to Donnie's ear and chanted something in Enochian, I had to fight my thoughts, wanting to hear him whisper things in Enochian in my ear as we- I shook that thought away, not here. I am working.

When nothing happened Dean wondered," just out of curiosity, what is the average customer wait time to speak with an archangel?"

Castiel didn't really answer, he just came by my side and told us to prepare ourselves.

* * *

"Well that's a day I'll never get back," my brother fussed. It's a shame to say that nothing had happened at the hospital. Castiel helped me from the car as I skipped ahead into the abandon house. Just as I was about to enter the threshold of the den Castiel was calling my name and pulling me back by my waist," Julie, wait!"

I was so lucky he had done something because Raphael now stood in the building. Light bulbs popping and electricity formed around him in the shape of wings. He noticed the angel wrapped around me.

"Castiel." He greeted scarily. His voice was deep. My angel greeted him in return as we stepped slowly closer. This plan we had going had better work, or else I'm in for it.

I had to play cocky and arrogant," And I thought you were supposed to be impressive. All you do is black out the room?"

"And the Eastern Seaboard," he corrected making my smile drop. The suddenly lightening outside startled me. I was pretty sure there wasn't a call for thunderstorms made today.

Raphael glowered back to Cas," it is a testament to my unending mercy that I do not smite you here and now."

I stood up for my angel, there was going to be no smiting while I can help it," or maybe you're full of shit. Maybe you're afraid God will bring Cas back to life again and smite you and your candy-ass skirt. By the way, hi, I'm Julie," I waved a hand.

He glared daggers at me," I know who you are! You're the soulmate to my little brother. I sense you've completed the mating process, that'll sting a bit when either of you die. Thanks to Castiel, I know where you are." My eyes went wide, the storm outside was howling.

"Touching me sister will be the last mistake you ever make, you feathered dick," Dee threatened. The archangel steps forward more, just where we wanted him. He continued his insults, but nothing compared to the look of fear on his face when Cas lit the holy-fire-ring around him. Raphael looked beyond pissed.

"Where is He?" My angel asked, finally getting to the point of why we were doing this.

The archangel looked confused," God? Didn't you hear, he's dead, Castiel." He seemed convinced that we were living in a godless universe the more we spoke with him. The idea of that struck fear in my heart and I think my angel felt it.

"If God _is_ dead, why have I returned? Who brought me back?" Castiel countered. His hair was all wet and his face was dripping with rain water, Dean and I were no better looking.

Raphael continued to strike me with fear," did it ever occurs to you, that maybe _Lucifer_ raised you?"

"No." That definitely wasn't an option, yet Raphael went on to persuade him so.

"Think about it. He needs all the rebellious angels he can find," his words made my Castiel hesitate," You know it adds up." The storm outside was worsening, and I want to leave this scary angel.

Castiel took my hand gently, muttering a small 'lets go.' We went three good steps then Raphael was begging us to get him out of this trap. He threatened that he would get out and find us even.

My angel surprised us all," maybe one day. But _today_ , you're my little bitch."

A little turned on by his abrasiveness I kissed his cheek and walked out the front door with him, Dean following suit," what he said."

The ride back to another motel was spent in the back of the impala with Cas. I heard none of his conversation with Dean because I was out cold against my soulmate. I sure did miss Sam, but being with these two brightened my spirits greatly.

* * *

 **A/N** : 'Tis done.

I must confess: the whole 'that's me, that's mine, that me painting your walls, that's me filling you' was inspired from a one-shot I read. I don't know where it is, it's in the depths of my searches, but that was inspired.

I hope you enjoyed this! There's still more to come!


	32. Chapter 33

**The End**

 **A/N** : This has to be my favorite chapter yet. There's a lot to be expecting in the chapters to come ~(˘▾˘~) This one is a must read- it is crucial to the plot!

 **word** count: 4,419

~ _Enjoy!_

* * *

I was practically sleep with legs. Dean and I just drove sixteen hours straight, my back was cramped, all we needed was a place to sleep, we'd be visiting Bobby soon enough. There was a religious man outside the hotel who stopped us, but he continued his pitch after we shot him down.

I sat half-asleep on Dean's lap as he spoke to my angel on speaker phone. I was almost too tired to listen, there was talk of the colt and that it could be another chance at icing the devil.

"If you are still set on the insane task of killing the devil, this is how we do it," Castiel declared. I asked groggily where we even we start to look for the colt," where are you now?"

"Century Hotel, room one-thirteen," I read off the room key and tossed it on the bed, returning my head back to Dee's chest. I didn't know how my brother was still awake.

"Okay," Cas said," I'll be there immediately."

At the same time my brother and I protested, telling him we needed to sleep. He's gonna have to get used to us needing to do human things, we don't refuel like angels do. And sure, that makes stopping the apocalypse take longer, but the war wasn't won in a day. We told him to stop by in the morning. Before I could tell him I loved him, Dean hung up, making me grunt. _Whatever, I'm tired, I'll just tell him via prayer._

I crawled over to my bed, getting situated. Thinking up a prayer to Cas, then it seemed like the second my head hit the pillow I was out cold.

I was woken up by Dean shaking my shoulders. I groaned and rolled back over, the bed sounding and feeling a little more springy than I remembered.

"Dammit Juls, open your eyes!" He commanded. Deciding to see what all the fuss was about, I did. To answer my question there was no mattress on the bed and the whole room looked trashed and... _aged._

"What happened?" I looked to my brother with round eyes, he mirrored me.

"I don't know. But I've got something I'm not gonna keep from you," he started to confess," while you were asleep, Sam called." He paused.

I watched and waited for him to go on," and?" I tried not to overthink what could have happen to Sam.

"H-he's Lucifer's vessel," he made known that fact. My jaw dropped and my brows furrowed, _he was Lucifer's vessel?!_

"Well you told him to come home right?" I asked. He looked to the floor. At my brother's lack of a response I fumed," Dean Winchester, our brother is probably scared shitless, and he's all alone!"

His jaw clenched," it's best if we stay away from each other, Julie! That's how he stays _safe_."

I shook my head," Sam is safe at _home_ , and his _home_ is with us. You don't give up on family, no matter how hard it gets, and no matter the shit-storm life throws at you. You can save whatever you have to say Dean, sending him away was a mistake," I tightened my plaid over shirt around me," now, let's go find out where the hell we are." I was thankful he shut his mouth and followed me.

This town in Kansas City looked awful. It was similar in comparison to Riverpass, Colorado with the zombie apocalypse vibe, but this was way worse. Everything was devastated, broken, graffitied, or all of the above. We walked in silence until we came to an alleyway.

I spotted a little girl and tried to make her comfortable, but something was off about her. She wasn't responding to me and she never looked me in the eyes. All at once she had lunged at me, pinning me to the ground with such a strength. Dean had to punch her off of me, helping me up he checked for injuries. At the same time our eyes met a graffiti that read "CROATOAN".

"Oh shit," Dean mumbled. Just then a large group of people walked in front of the alley entrance. They had to be infected with the croatoan virus like the little girl. Then they started to turn the corner to come after us," we gotta go." He grabbed my hand and we bolted. I don't think I've ever ran this fast in my life! We sprinted with them still hot on our asses, until we came to a chain-link fence; blocking our path.

The infected closed the entrance, trapping us here. I wasn't ready to die yet, and I didn't want my death to hurt my angel.

" Dee," I whispered.

He stood straighter," get behind me." When I didn't, he gently pushed me there. Sudden gunfire made us both crouch and protect our heads. They were army men in tanks, firing at the infected. They even started to blast The Contours' ' _Do You Love Me_ '. Seeing the distraction, Dean broke the fence and ushered me through. After that we were on the run again.

It was nightfall now and we crawled through a gap in the fence, I noticed a sign on the fence and tugged Dean's arm letting him read it as well:

 **CROATOAN**

 **VIRUS**

 **HOT ZONE**

 **NO ENTRY**

 **BY ORDER OF ACTING REGIONAL COMMAND**

 _ **AUGUST 1, 2014**_

 **KANSAS CITY**

"August first, twenty-fourteen," I repeated," you think Zach has something to do with this?" As far as I knew, only angels could travel through time.

"That'd be my guess," he answered. I nodded. We set out to find a car, we found one, hot wired it, and decided that Bobby's would be the best place to go.

On the way to Bobby's, none other than Zachariah decided to pop up in the back seat. Of course he was behind this, he wants us to bear witness to where saying no to Micheal gets us. Three days here, then he said we could go back to our 2009.

I tried to contain my hurt at the state of. Bobby's house. It was so quiet, there were cobwebs and dust...no one had been here in quite some time. I found Dean in the living room, crouching next to a wheelchair. Only seeing blood on his chair, made me fight a lump.

I let out a shaky breath," where is everybody, Bobby?" We needed answers and our surrogate had to have them. I watched Dean search a hidden compartment that only we knew of: he kept dad's journal there. There was a picture inside that I'd never seen before. It was a black and white of Bobby, some unknown men, and my Castiel! I let out a sigh of relief. They were at a camp called "Camp Chitaqua." Nobody had to tell us twice: we were off in a hurry.

The camp wasn't that far from Bobby's place, so the stars still shown high above us. I trailed Dean when he went up to, what I thought, was just a bust car...but it was Baby. I had to admit, even I was disgusted with her condition. I rubbed my brother's back with a hand, he was having a hard time. Then suddenly my world went black.

* * *

I groaned from the pain at the back of my head, fluttering my eyes open I surveyed my surroundings. I was in some kind of cabin, Dean was beside me, but our hands were cuffed to a ladder behind us.

"Juls," he started," don't freak out, okay?"

My brows knitted," what would I be freaking out about?" I followed his eyes as they darted to something. I looked in front of me, seeing... _another_ Dean. He was loading rounds into a shotgun, not looking up. My jaw dropped.

"There's _two_ of them?!" I exclaimed more to myself.

"I don't think so," the brother beside me replied," I think it's twenty-fourteen!me." He turned his attention the future him," dude what the hell?"

This new Dean spoke lower, he seemed more thick-skinned," I should be asking that question, don't you think? In fact, why don't you give me one good reason why I shouldn't gank you right here and now?"

"Because you'd only be killing yourself?" I countered," and your sister?" He didn't look at me. He acted like he hadn't even hear me. Present!Dean and I shared a glance.

2014!Dean carried on," I did the drill while you were out. Silver, salt, holy water—nothing. But you know what was funny? Was that you had every hidden lockpick, box cutter, and switchblade that I carry. Now, you want to explain that? Oh, and the, uh, resemblance, while you're at it?"

Confused as to why he wasn't acknowledging me, I let my Dean take over," Zachariah."

Future Dean stood up, jaw setting," come again?"

"I'm you from the tail end of 2009 and he made Julie tag-along. Zach plucked us from our beds and threw us five years into the future." He answered.

"Where is he? I want to talk to him," 2014!Dean questioned. He and Dean started to converse about Sam's whereabouts. Future!Dean told us that he didn't make it, some big showdown in Detroit. At least he understands that we were legitimately from the past. It'd be damn nice if I wasn't treated as if I was invisible, so I did something about it.

"Look, we just want to get back to our own fucking year, okay?" He still didn't look at me, setting me off," why won't you look at me? I know you can hear me." The Dean beside me watched him eagerly.

Dean from the future almost looked like he was shaking. He continued to stare at the ground. I couldn't take it anymore, I'm his sister why did he act like I wasn't here?

"Look at me!" I demanded. Slowly his eyes rose to meet mine. Just as he did he headed for the door," where are you going?" Of course he didn't answer me. Just commanded that we stay put, the last thing the people need is to see his clone.

Finally alone with a brother who would validate me," future you is a dick. Why won't he acknowledge me?"

He chuckled," I got no idea, princess. Let's get out of here, huh?" Somehow he managed to pull a nail from the floorboards and got us both out of here.

Once outside Dean instructed me to run, he would find me me later. I placed a kiss on his cheek before running for it. I ran around trying to duck and hid from people's view. Until I found a little dirt path, I followed it, coming to a halt when I saw a shack. I saw no other buildings neighboring it, it couldn't hurt to snoop a bit could it?

I went around the back and stood on a box below an open window. I gasped, having to cover my mouth. Castiel was sitting in a ring of woman, speaking of the art of lovemaking or some shit. I couldn't stop the lump in my throat from forming. It seemed just as I found him, Dean had too. He walked in the door, causing Cas to dismiss the woman telling them to "wash up for the orgy". He called them all beautiful.

As he and Dean spoke I climbed in through the window, without making a single noise. I hid at the corner of a wall, listening," Cas, we got to talk."

The second the angel saw him he knew something was different," whoa strange. You are not you–not _now_ you anyway."

"No! Yeah–yes- exactly!" My brother relaxed.

"What year are you from?" Castiel inquired.

"2009," Dee answered.

The angel squinted," who did this to you-was it Zachariah?" My brother told him a 'yes'.

"Interesting," he put a finger on his chin in wonderment.

"Oh, yeah, it's fuckin' fascinating," he was being sarcastic," Now. Why don't you strap on your angel wings-" he clapped his hands"- and fly me and Julie back to our page on the calendar."

Castiel's face dropped at that," s-she is here too?" At that moment I decided to make myself known.

"Cas?" Tears stilled welled in my eyes. I stepped from the shadows, him watching me with wide eyes. His breathing seemed to turn uneven.

"Dean, please tell me you see her too," he whispered.

My brother's face contorted in confusion," yeah, why wouldn't I?"

He turned back to my brother," I wish I could 'strap on my wings', but I'm sorry I can't." I got to looking and he really didn't have those beautiful wings attached anymore...he was _human._

My brother looked to the floor in defeat," then I guess I'll give you two some room." And he left, leaving me with Cas. _Cas_ who was with other women.

We stared at each other, both frozen to the spot," C-Cas, who were those girls?"

He closed his eyes and sighed weakly," they're nothing to me now. I'm through with them, come here my Jul, there's is much to discuss."

* * *

I walked up to him slowly, he still bore my mark on his neck. I was once again captivated by those eyes. It seemed minutes went by before someone spoke.

He broke the silence," I've missed you, my love."

"Why are you so surprised to see me? Why won't future Dean look at me? Why were you with those women, Cas? I need answers, _please_ , help me," a tear fell from my eye. He wiped it with a calloused thumb.

"Okay," he whispered. He took my hands and dragged me to the floor with him to sit. I watched and listened for his answer," are you sure you want to know?"

I nodded and he did a big intake of breath, preparing for the story. Part of me was a little scared to find out why everyone was acting this way, the same part of me also had a hunch.

Cas took my hands and spoke," First off, those women attempt to fill a pitless void in me. Having you here is has to be the only thing that's made sense since all of this started. I won't have them anymore, I am so sorry my love, please allow me to explain."I Gave him and wordless nod and he proceeded, I was always quick to forgive.

"There was another archangel, a sister who was favored in God's eye. She was beloved by all, spoiled by her siblings, but most of all, her two brothers: Micheal and Lucifer." He began. I nodded for him to continue.

"When Lucifer was cast into hell by Micheal, Julianel-the sister, was slain in the cross-fire. Her one wish was to keep her brothers from fighting," He paused to let this come slowly," I think you've already found out that Sam is to be Lucifer, and Dean is to be Micheal...your role...is...is..." he cleared his throat shifting in his seat.

All the dots connected for me," Julianel," I answered for him. He nodded, lip quivering," I'm supposed to die." It was more as a statement. I watched my soulmate crumbled before me, breaking my heart.

He let out a sob," I held you when it happened. I tried everything I could to have them bring you home to me, but God didn't listen–- _no one_ listened! I sat with your lifeless body in my arms for _months_ , screaming to heaven, cursing God, singing songs of healing, I performed rituals..." he gasped for air. I came forward and placed myself in his lap wrapping myself around his front, he still smelled like mint. He latched onto me for dear life. I hated that I caused him this much torment.

"Shh," I tried to soothe him," I'm here now my angel, we always have a way of getting back to each other." I sniffled as I rubbed his back and tangled my fingers in his hair.

I felt him hid his face in my neck, whimpering as he did," I've missed you so much, Julie, I have your-" but he stopped, not telling me something. I pulled back and cupped his face in both of my hands, wiping his tears.

"What? You can tell me anything, Cas," I searched his eyes softly. I had to be strong for him, he needed me.

He blinked his eyes and sniffed, he brought his hand to the necklace he wore. He pulled it out revealing two rings. I stayed silent as he took the one with the diamond off and held it to me, pressed between two fingers,"Cas," I whispered, heart beat starting to quicken.

"You married me, my love," he looked into my eyes searching for something I didn't know what," such a human thing to do, but I would gladly do it again to be wholly yours as humanly possible."

My lip quivered now. I had always wanted to get married, I was beyond happy to know that I found that with him. I couldn't stop the smile that spread over my lips," I love you, angel. Thank you for doing that."

He chuckled with me a bit, our giddiness for each other safe in our little bubble," I am Mr. Castiel Winchester, you and your brothers were happy to give me your last name," I watched an idea hatch into his head as he stared at the little ring. A very large part of me wanted to touch it, but I didn't want to intrude, it was his, he'd been holding onto it for so long," Julianne Beth Winchester, would you do a fallen angel the the highest honor, of becoming my wife, in every way humanly possible?"

I gaped up at him, his eyes so full of love," Cas..." I weakly warned him. I was about to be a crying mess if he was serious.

"How often does someone get to propose to the same love of their life, twice?" He chuckled, waiting for an answer.

My eyes stared at the little ring in his hand, something so tiny meaning so much. He was right however, how often do lovers find themselves in this situation? When I decided to mate myself to him, I chose Castiel for life, and I decided that I will _keep_ choosing Castiel for life. Why _not_ be his in every way humanly possible? I looked back up," yes. Of course I will."

The bright smile that filled his face, melted my heart. I don't think I'd ever seen him this happy before. He slid the ring onto my finger, then he let me slide his onto his finger, and I pulled him down for a kiss. This kiss was sweet, passionate, and full of love. We both had to pull back for air.

"I love you, Julie," he said for his forehead pressed to mine.

"I love you too, Castiel," I responded, feeling complete. Moments passed of just us holding each other. I could slowly see something start to eat him up on the inside.

"Cas? Is there something else I should know about?" I rested a hand on his cheek.

He contemplated telling me this one for a bit longer. He found the answer somewhere in my eyes," I don't want to keep anything from you, my love.

"Then you don't have to, angel," I ran my thumb over his lips. I felt the air around us start to somber," what is it?"

"You weren't the only one I lost when you died," he spoke carefully hinting at something.

My brows knitted," what to do you mean?" Rather than telling me he placed a hand over my stomach. That little gesture telling me everything.

I gasped," _I was pregnant_?" My voice almost a whisper.

He nodded slowly, eyes not leaving my flat stomach while he gently caressed it," Lucifer took you and our babies away from me." He spoke with repressed anger through his teeth.

I gaped even more, fresh tears arising," babies?!"

"We were to have twins, Julie. You were _so_ excited," he finally looked back up at me," please, my love, when you go back, you can't let them take you, you have to live, _please_ ," his pleading was overwhelming. He tucked my hair away from my face.

I was gonna have kids, and they were Castiel's. Along with marriage, I've always wanted kids with the love of my life. The more I thought about it, the more I had more reasons to leave the hunting business than to stay. I felt myself become protective and full of love for something I didn't even have yet. I'm not going to let my angel become like this– this future– we can change it.

"I'm not gonna let this future happen Cas. We'll get married, we'll have kids, but I will not let the devil win. My brothers and I will do this right, I promise," I assured him. He looked so relieved at my words.

He rested his head against mine," thank you Julie, truly, thank you _so_ much." I would do anything within my power to give Cas our babies back.

* * *

We met back up in 2014!Dean's headquarters. I sat on Cas' lap after I saw my Dean was sitting at the back. Dean from the future was discussing plans with the room about where Lucifer was, rewardingly he had the colt with him to kill him.

"We don't have to find Lucifer. We know where he is," Dean looked to everyone except me," The demon that we caught last week, he was one of the big guy's entourage. He knew."

"And you know this how?" Asked a black-haired woman in the room.

Cas was the one to answer. He had an arm wrapped around my waist and the other hand was playing with the ends of my hair," our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth." _Torture?_ That's what he is getting at?

My Dean isn't happy about the torturing, ever since hell and Alistair he kinda vowed to never do it again. He said something that mad Castiel laugh. I'm glad his spirits were raised. The Dean in authority points on the map where Lucifer is.

"Oh, good–it's right in the middle of a hot zone," my angel noted dully, leaning forward to see the map.

The other Dean quirked a brow," crawling with Croats, yeah. You saying my plan is reckless?"

These two went at it- sort of like brothers," are you saying we, uh, walk in, straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats, and we shoot the devil?"

"Yes."

"Okay. if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use ' _insoucian_ t', maybe." That one earned a small chuckle from me.

"Are you coming?"

My angel sighed and massaged my waist," of course," he looked to me and my Dean," but why are they? I mean he's you five years ago, something happens to him you're gone right? And I'd rather Julie be–" 2014!Dean stopped him.

"-They're coming," he declared.

Cas rolled his eyes," okay. I'll get the grunts moving." I stood for him to get up. Before he leaves with two people he placed a kiss on my cheek. I was left with Dean One and Dean Two.

"Why _are_ you taking us?" My Dean wondered, coming up beside me.

The other Dean filled his duffel," relax, you'll be fine. Zach's looking after you right? And you're coming because I want you to see something. I want you to see our brother."

" _Sam?_ " My Dean was taken aback. I was getting tired of feeling like chopped liver," I thought he was dead?"

Future Dean slumped a bit," he didn't die in Detroit– he said "yes". The _big_ 'yes' Lucifer's wearing him to the prom." He and my present brother started to argue about saying yes to Micheal. I was so thankful that my Dean saw that there had to be another way.

"Before we walk out of here, there's something that needs taken care of," I looked to my brother. 2014!Dean was about to walk out, but I stopped him," Dean you get your ass back here." He stilled.

"You look at me," he turned and stood stiff as a board while looking at me," I know what happens to me." I walked slowly up to him.

"Cas told you," he stated making me nod in answer.

Present Dean was confused," w-what happens to Julie?"

"She dies, Dean," my brother from the future states," that's why you have to say yes. She dies _pregnant_ -I figure you should know. Otherwise, that doesn't have to happen," he looks to me finally," what your death did to me–-to _Cas._ " He shook his head not even wanting to think about it," it's been five years, Julie! You died because I couldn't say yes."

I shook my head. He was wrong on this. I wrapped my arms around his neck, he tensed beneath me," Dean, it's not on you, there's no way you could've known. I'm here now," I tried to calm him. I could feel him giving up beneath me," it's not on you Dee."

I heard him drop his bag and two arms slowly rise to wrap around my waist and shoulders. He was so careful with me like I was made of glass. I heard his breathing falter as a hand traveled to tangle in my hair.

"Jul," he crooned.

"I'm here, bubby. Always." I whispered back softly. He held me to him, physically calming and petting my hair and back. Whatever happens when we get back to '09, death won't have me.

* * *

The rest of my time with the camp was a blur. I was choosing not to believe what Lucifer told us. There was always another way and it's our job to find it.

We had been zapped back to the motel by Zachariah. He tried to conjure a 'yes' from Dean once again, but as always, Dean said 'no'.

"'Nah'? You're telling me you haven't learned your lesson?" Zach questioned getting angry.

I was angled behind Dee as he responded," oh I learned a lesson alright, just not the one you wanted to teach."

Zachariah bubbled in rage," then I'll just have to teach it again!" He started to come at us," because I got you now boy! And I'm never letting you–," with my next blink we were somewhere else. A dark street corner, but there was Cas smiling at us.

I let out a sigh of relief," oh, thank God!"

While I went and wrapped my arms around him, Dee spoke," pretty nice timing Cas, really."

"We had and appointment," he replied, returning my embrace. From behind his back I looked to where the ring had been placed on my finger. Mild panic filled me when it was gone. Future Cas was right then: I can get proposed to twice, which...was _more_ than okay with me.


	33. Chapter 34

**Changing Channels**

 **Word count:** 4,200

* * *

I came out of the bathroom, having finished getting ready, when I saw Dean sitting on the bed. He looked very engrossed in a tv show. On the screen there was a couple making out very heatedly.

"Dee, what are you watching?" I wondered. I spotted Sam in his suit in the kitchen, looking annoyed. Since Zachariah showed us our future without Sam, we made sure that he came back home when we got back to '09. Everything felt a little more complete with Sammy here.

Dean continued to stare into the tv," hospital show: _Doctor. Sexy, MD_. I think it's based on a book."

My brows raised as I went to walk to the door," yeash, when did you hit menopause?"

"It's called channel surfing." he grumbled out, turning it off, and following Sam and I to the car.

This new case was one of the rather _odd_ ones. The police station held a woman who had witnessed a "bear" coming into her home and killing her husband. The only fishy detail about this was that the bear would have to be eight feet tall by standing on its back legs. Unless this bear walked around on its hind legs _all_ the time, I really don't think the average bear could've done this.

Our judgement whilst speaking with the witness was supposed to be strictly professional, but it was incredibly difficult not to break when she admitted that she had seen the Incredible Hulk...the _Lou Ferrigno_ Incredible Hulk inside of her house. She told us there was no reason as to why he would have a grudge against her husband, which was good? Something was definitely amiss here.

Sam and I were just now returning from looking at the victim's house. Sam held the door to the motel as I entered, discovering Dean on the laptop.

"Find anything?" He asked us.

I put the keys to baby on the table," well, we stopped by the house." I heard Sam snort and sit across from Dean at the table.

"And?" My oldest brother pressed, finally looking up from the computer.

"And there is a giant eight-foot-wide hole where the front door used to be," I put my hands on my hips," Almost like, uh–" Dee interrupted.

"-A hulk sized hole?"

I shrugged, I highly doubted it was a bear," possibly. What about you?" I asked coming around him to see the laptop.

Dean showed me some tabs on the monitor," well, it turns out that Bill Randolph had quite the temper. He's got two counts of spousal battery, bar brawls, and court-ordered anger management sessions. You might say you wouldn't like him when he's angry." I patted his shoulder for that one, complimenting him. Every now and then his jokes are funny.

Sam spoke to us now,"so a hothead getting killed by TV's greatest hothead," he went silent for a second in thought,"kinda sounds like just desserts, doesn't it?" Oh God, I didn't even want to think about the trickster. Watching Dean die over and over and over again was traumatizing. I really should schedule a therapy session.

I sighed," it's starting to make sense," they looked to me in confusion," while at the house-"I pulled some candy wrappers from my pocket"-I found these little gems hiding from me." I let them fall on the table.

We could almost see the cogs turning in Dean's head," just desserts, sweet tooth, screwing with people before you kill 'em—we're dealing with the Trickster, aren't we?"

Sam and I nodded," sure looks like it." Dean and I made it known that we were set on killing him, Sammy, however, wanted to try and talk to him–get him on our side to take down Lucifer. As much as I want him dead, I _am_ opened-minded: we could give it shot, but the second it doesn't work, he's a dead man.

Sam and I listened to the police scanner on the table for hours. The trickster never kills only one person, he'd kill again. Dean sat on the bed sharpening wooden stakes. Suddenly a panicked voice and over the scanner, making Sam and I look at each other. The officer must've been seeing something awful, he demanded that they call everybody to come check it out. This had to be the trickster at work again.

The location was another abandoned warehouse-red flag number one. For a murder just having taken place there were no police cars, no officers–nothing-sufficing for red flag number two. We held our weapons up as we prepared ourselves to enter the aged door. Dean counted to three and we charged inside.

It is totally not what I was expecting to see here.

My brothers and I were now wardrobed in scrubs, only, my brothers wore white coats. We looked around in shock, there seemed a fully functioning hospital inside this building.

"What the hell?" Dean muttered beside me.

An Asian and a blonde nurse walked by us, in greeting," doctor, doctor, nurse."

"Doctor?" Sam breathed in shock. We watched Dean open the door we just came in, to reveal a broom closet, where two people we kissing feverishly. He shut it quickly.

A brunette nurse with her hair in an intricate bun, came to Sam, she looked determined and oddly like the girl from Dean's show. Out of nowhere she slapped my brother across the face, throwing all of us off guard.

"Ow!" Sam bleated.

"Seriously." She couldn't tear her eyes from him.

"What?" Sam wondered, a red mark appeared on his cheek.

"Seriously?" She repeated," you're brilliant, you know that? And a coward. You're a brilliant coward." That didn't make a lick-bit of sense, why would Sam be a coward? She slapped him across the face once more before stomping off, tears brimming in her eyes.

"What was her problem?" I wondered incredulously.

I noticed Dean starting to look like a dream was coming true," I don't believe this," he gawked, looking at the woman's retreating form.

"What?" I questioned.

"That was Dr. Piccolo," he start to walk off dreamily," the sexy-yet-earnest doctor at–" he spotted the sign above the reception desk,"– Seattle Mercy Hospital!"he looked blown away, was that name supposed to mean something?

"Dean, what the fuck? English please!" I held out my hands, trying to invoke more answers from him.

"It all makes sense," he started as he walked and we followed," the doctor get-ups, the sexy interns, the seriously's–we're in Dr. Sexy MD!"

* * *

We walked down a corridor," but why? Give me a theory, any theory," Dean demanded.

I racked my brain for an answer," the trickster trapped us in TV land," I offered my theory. Sam hummed in agreement with that.

Dean's face scrunched," that's your theory? That's stupid."

I rolled my eyes," you're the one who said we're on _Dr. Sexy, MD_ , asshat. Besides, I don't see you coming up with anything." I snarked back.

My blonde brother continued his spiel," yeah, but TV land isn't TV Land. I mean, there's actors and, and lights and crew members, you know?" he gestured with his hands,"This looks real!" Sam reminds him that this couldn't be real. A nurse walked by that Dee recognized. He started to fanboy about all of the patients and staff. There was even the spirit of a man sitting on a hospital bed.

"So this show has ghosts? Why?" Sam wondered.

Dean shook his head," I don't know. It is compelling."

"I thought you said you weren't a fan," I crossed my arms and pointedly looked at him accusingly. I got the feeling he may be watching this show in secret, behind our backs.

He held his hand up in defense," I'm not–I'm _not_." He tried to play an innocent smile while he turned away from us. Something had caught his eye, making his smile drop," oh boy," he spoke lowly. Both Sam and I asked him what in unison.

"It's him," his smile continued to grow. He looked like he was seeing something truly beautiful. At the end of the hallway, a rough looking man, with lush brown hair walked towards us.

"Who?" We asked simultaneously again.

Dean turned to us with fearful eyes and excitement," it's him. It's Dr. Sexy." It was actually adorable to see my brother gush like this. Sam and I will never let him live this down.

Dr. Palmer came up to us," Doctor," he spoke to my flushing brother.

Dean bashfully looked to the floor, trying to contain his smile," Doctor," his voice was failing him.

"Doctor," Dr. Sexy now addressed Sammy, who only nodded in greeting. Dean whacked him in the side to get him to go along.

Sam rolled his eyes," Doctor."

Dr. Palmer turned to me," nurse." I honestly couldn't see what Dean did in those chocolate eyes of his, nor did I want to. Cas is all I need. Nevertheless I returned my greeting like the boys had.

This shaggy-haired doctor turned back to Dean, looking gravely serious," you want to give me one good reason why you defied my direct order to do the experimental face transplant on Mrs. Biehl?"

My brother was taken aback," o-one reason?" How in the world was he supposed to know something, that he never took part in? Getting nervous he looked at his feet, trying to think up an answer," uhh..." without warning, my brother was slamming Dr. Palmer against the wall," you're not doctor sexy," he accused.

The doctor looked unfazed," you're crazy."

Dean took that as a challenge,"Really? Because I swore part of what makes Dr. Sexy _sexy_ is the fact that he wears cowboy boots. _Not_ tennis shoes." I knitted my brows at him.

Sammy scoffed," yeah, you're not a 'fan'." Dean's says it was a guilty pleasure. Seemingly like magic, the building staff froze in place and doctor sexy morphed into none other than the trickster. His honey eyes weren't happy that we found him out.

"You guys are getting better!" He praised.

"Get us the hell out of here," I ordered.

"Or what?" The trickster bit. He did something to Dean's arm, hurting him and causing him back away from himself," and don't say you have wooden stakes, sweetheart." I did. It want to be called sweetheart by him.

We worked out that it was the trickster on the scanner all along. Apparently he couldn't wait to see us again, "good times" and all from Mystery Spot. He made this place all on his own.

"Like it? Call it my own little idiot box," he shared an innocent smile with us.

Dean was growing annoyed, as were we all," how do we get out?"

"That my friend," the trickster he explained," is the sixty-four-dollar question." He placed his hand on his hips, watching us, obviously knowing something we didn't. Sam took this moment to confide in the creature, to get a chance to speak about allying.

Trickster looked around in thought,"hmm, let me guess. You two muttonheads broke the world, and you want me to sweep up your mess?"

"I'm pretty sure I was with them this entire time. Why will no one acknowledge my part in this?" I questioned back.

His honey eyes darted to me," unlike your half-wit brothers, you've tried to be rational. It's a shame it never worked." Someone other than Cas understood my predicament, which was a first. No matter how much I tried to stop the boys they tended to make matters worse, but it's all been for a reason hasn't it? Flashes of future Castiel passed before my eyes. My part always was getting torn between my brothers.

The trickster looked over us and then to me, sighing," tell you what, survive the next twenty-four hours, and we'll talk."

"Survive what?" Dean panicked.

"The game!" The trickster vaguely elaborated.

"How do we play?" Dean sled again.

"You're playing it," he responded looking smug.

"What are the rules?" I asked now. If we wanted out, we'd have to play it his way. To answer me he wagged his eye brows then disappear to the sound of tv static. So we have to survive the next twenty-four hours in this simulator. Seemed easy enough.

I turned to my brother whilst looking at my outfit," you know, I always wanted to wear nurse scrubs."

Sam scoffed," looks like you got your wish, but we really need to find a way out of here."

* * *

Play the game. Very vague, but it's all we were given so we might as well play along. Everything seemed to be fine: Sam almost got punched by Dr. Piccolo, the patient who was denied a face transplants was shot Dean, who thought all of this was still very fake. As if to prove him wrong, the patient pulled out a gun and fired it into my brother's back: this was _very_ real.

I stood beside Sam, with Dean on the operating table. Sam looked very out of place and confused as he held some gauze to the wound.

A blonde woman speaks through a surgical mask," BP is eighty over fifty and dropping." As long as Dean kept calm, he'd loose less blood. Dr. Wang offers a scalpel to Sam, but he doesn't take it, making me roll my eyes.

"C'mon Sam. Do something," Dean pressed, his life was on the line.

Sammy leans over, panicked," I don't know how to use any of this shit."

I gave in," I do." I took the scalpel and looked over the bullet entry. There wasn't an exit wound which meant the bullet needed to be extracted," Dee, I'm gonna have to get the bullet out. We numbed the area, but you may still feel this a bit."

He used his hands to shrug," just make it quick, Juls." Alright, his funeral. I went to work on his wound. Pretty soon I'd pulled the bullet out and stitched it up.

"Alright, bub, you'll live another day," I put down the tools and went shed my bloody gloves in the proper bin.

"Thanks doc," Dean thanked me from the table making me grin. When I turned around the room had changed. I was reminded of the similarities between the trickster and the Angels. I mean, it was funny how the trickster could create life-like scenarios just as well as they could.

This new scene seemed to be a game show...a... _Japanese_ game show. I saw my brothers standing on platforms with their feet anchored to it in some kind of special shoe. I looked down at myself when I felt a breeze. I was now wearing lacy lingerie. A set of realistic, white bird wings were attached to my back. They looked very real, when I focused my mind on moving one, it _actually_ moved, which tripped me the fuck out. There was a halo attached to a band on my head.

Dean caught sight of my bare neck," Julie what the fuck is that on your neck?"

My face flushed red and I stuttered over my words," I-I...uh...er-" how do I tell him that Castiel had marked me?

Thankfully the host saved me from answering. We siblings looked at each other in fear as the gameshow host started to speak Japanese. It looked like he was speaking directly to Sam, but just like us, Sam was clueless. The host pointed to a counter on the wall, it was counting down from twelve. I had my wings wrap around me to keep off the chill, these wings were nothing like Castiel's.

"Uh, what am I supposed to say?" Sam asked us.

"You think we know?" I shot back. Sam tried to tell the host that he doesn't speak Japanese, but all he did was seemingly repeat his last words.

Sam asked Dean if the host was screwing with him, but before he could answer and alarm when off. The host shouted a single word," Ruby!" Then he surprised us all by speaking actual english," I am sorry Sam Winchester."

Sam's face contorted in confusion," s-sorry? For what?" My brows knitted as the host mimed a hand over his mouth, hiding laughter from the audience. What the fuck did that look mean? Suddenly a buzzer went off and the ball, at the end of a pole, comes up and nails my tall brother in the crouch. I covered my mouth in pain for him, Dean looked horrified.

"Nutcracker!" The host cheered with the crowd.

"Sam?" Dean fretted. Sam looked up at him with a very pained expression. My poor brother, I thought.

I came up beside him, resting a hand on his leg," it'll be okay Sammy, just breath." He nodded trying to do just that. So this was the penalty of the game: you don't answer a question right and you get whacked in the nuts by a machine. Dean was next to play, I wish I could ease the horror from his face.

The show host was about to come over to Dean when drums started to pound and a light shown on the large, blue, door behind us," oh what now?!" Dean whined. This whole thing seriously was a messed up trick.

To my relief, Castiel walked in, fog billowing around his ankles and the crowd cheering. Dean acknowledged him, but it was me he looked to.

"Oh, angel!" I let my hands fall and slap my thigh in relief. To follow my hands, my wings dropped with them, revealing my skimpy outfit. When he saw me, his pupils dilated greatly, he looked me up and down.

"Is this another trick?" Sam finally found his voice, but he was weak.

I went to step closer to him, but my feet wouldn't move, it was like they were glued to the floor," I can't move my feet," I made known. My grabby hands were reached out for Cas, who gladly stepped the rest of the way over to me. His touch bringing comfort.

"It's me," he told us, looking around," uh, what are you doing here?"

"Us?" Des asked," what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you. You've been missing for days," he confessed, holding me a little tighter to him.

"Cas, please get us the hell out of here," I muttered into his trench. I wanted to go to bed and forget about seeing my brother get nailed in the nuts.

He nodded," lets go." He placed his lips to my forehead and raised his two hands to Sam and Dean. Just before his fingers touched them, he was clicked away into static. We stared in horror, Cas was our only hope.

The host came back over fuming," no, no, no, no. Mr. Trickster does not like pretty-boy angels." Yet he stilled turned to Dean and asked him a question in Japanese. The timer started for him to answer or else his balls suffered the painful price. Within those precious seconds we established that we only go from scene to scene as long as we play along, this case was no different. By some amazing miracle Dean spoke Japanese and answered correctly, sparing him and letting the next rounds begin.

The next scenario made me laugh to tears. I was so glad I didn't have a part yet. It was a genital herpes treatment commercial. Then again, the trickster said I was the rational one, maybe that's why I was being spared. I felt bad for laughing, but damn this one just got to me.

Sitcoms, weren't really my cup of tea, but there was nothing I could do to escape this hell. The audience seemed to laugh at everything we said, even if it wasn't funny.

"How long do you think we have to keep this up?" I spoke through the forced smile on my lips.

"I don't know," Sam answers just as upset," maybe forever?" His response had me looking at the floor, making the audience "aww" in sadness. I ignored them as best I could.

Out of nowhere Castiel walked through the door, the room applauds, but it turns into shock at the sight of his face. It was all cut up and swollen.

"You okay?" Dean worried over his state. I ran over to my angel to look at it properly.

"I don't have much time," he announced," Something is not right. This thing is much more powerful than it should be."

Our faces scrunched in confusion. Dean asked," what thing? The trickster?"

My angel was quick to respond," if it is a Trickster." Suddenly my angel is flung across the room into a wall simultaneously, as if on cue, the trickster comes through the door energetically. The audience erupted in applause.

The trickster caught sight of Cas and greeted," hi, Castiel!"

"You know him?" I muttered with knitted brows. Why would the trickster if all creatures know Cas? I wasn't the only one who noticed his greeting. My soulmate tried to stand and when he turned around a strip of duct tape was sealed over his mouth. I tried to get to him but some invisible wall prohibited me. We looked at each other with wide-eyes. With a static flash, Castiel was gone.

I snapped to the trickster," where the hell did you just send him?!"

"Relax," he cooled," he'll live...maybe." I hoped for his sake, he did live.

Dean had figured it out pretty quick. Playing these roles meant playing our roles out there. I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to think about dying at the big showdown. Dean was the only one who knew right now, Sammy, Bobby, and Castiel could wait. So we played out his little game, it was me who established the connection between the trickster and the angels. He knew Castiel, he had to be one himself. After we'd found him out and set a holy fire trap, the gimmick dropped and we were inside of the warehouse–a real, abandon, and gross warehouse.

"Gabriel, okay?," he said defeatedly," they call me Gabriel."

"Gabriel?" Sam wondered," the _archangel_?"

Gabriel shrugged," guilty." Now it all made sense! If anyone had the ability to make scenarios from thin air, it would be an archangel.

"Why'd you ditch and join the pagans?" Sam asked again.

Gabriel looked like he didn't want to say, I found myself pitying him," I love my father, my brothers. Love them. But watching them turn on each other? Tear at each other's throats? I couldn't bear it! Okay? So I left. And now it's happening all over again."

I saw my chance," then help us stop it." His eyes darted to me almost painfully.

"Your role hurts the most," he said softly. I knitted my brows at his words. He looked at me like I was familiar to him, I'm just...sad I couldn't return the feeling," It can't be stopped." As much as I wanted to hold off spilling my harsh fate, Gabriel spilled the beans to Sam. I was doomed to die just as my brothers were to play as Micheal and Lucifer. No one was happy about this nonsense. This couldn't be the only way, there had to be something else. We all went silent and settled for staring, deep in thought.

Gabriel shifted his weight," So. Now what? We stare at each other for the rest of eternity?"

I shook my head," I need you to bring Cas back from wherever you stashed him."

"I could do that," he countered me making me squint.

"Yeah. Or we're going to dunk you in some holy oil and deep-fry ourselves an archangel," I snapped. He looked at me with a flash of hurt before snapping his fingers, and my angel appeared. Face still beaten.

"You okay, angel?" I asked softly.

He gave a curt nod," I'm fine," he turned to the archangel," hello Gabriel."

Gabriel smirked," hey bro. How's the search for daddy going? Lemme guess: awful?" Cas and I glared at him for belittling him.

Dean huffed," okay we're out of here," he turned away," come on Julie, Sam, Cas." We turned to follow him out.

Panic in Gabriel voice shot through me," You're just gonna, you're gonna leave me here forever?"

We stopped and turned back to him once at the door,"No. We're not, 'cause we don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record? This isn't about some prize fight between your brothers or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family." Dee pulled the fire alarm and the sprinklers went off, getting us all wet.

"Don't say we never did anything for you," I called back and took Cas's hand, leading him to the car. I wished I was on a tv show where the ending was wrapped up happily, but that's just not our life, is it?


	34. Chapter 35

**Abandon All Hope**

 **A/N** : This is another one of my favorite chapters that I've written.

 **Word** count: ~5,00

* * *

My brothers and I were pulled over on a dirt road in the middle of no where. This spot was actually more beautiful the more I looked at it: it was littered in high yellow grass, the trees bore long branches like hair, and in the wind, they sang as the breeze rattled their leaves. We were waiting on Castiel to give us word on Crowley's whereabouts, from our conversation he seemed close to finding him.

"Got him," his voice was hushed in my ear," the demon Crowley is making a deal–even as we speak it's...going down."

I snorted and knitted my brows," going down? Right. Okay, Huggy Bear, just don't lose him, okay?"

"I won't loose him, my love," he assured before hanging up. I sighed turning to my brothers. I had to ignore my gold hair dancing in wisps around my face.

"He's on his trail," I announced to my siblings.

"We need that gun," Sam shook his head trying not to fathom this plan going any other way. The Colt _had_ to be able to take down Lucifer.

"We'll get it, Cas knows what he's doing," I promised with a half smile.

Castiel called me back ten minutes later. The place Crowley had slithered to was warded heavily against him; he could go no further. We needed a few more hands on this and when asked, Ellen and Jo were more than happy to tag along. Jo and I had a part to play which would enable us to get inside.

Once night fell, together we walked up to the gate of the mansion pretending to be cold and a bit frazzeled. We posed as woman who had just left a party. Our car having just broken down.

Jo rang the buzzer and a voice came through requesting our intentions. She put on her best act," Hello. My car broke down. W—we need some help."

"I'll be down in a minute, a male voice responded." Jo and I made eye contact, silently praying this went to plan. I'd hate to get this beautiful dress all bloody, it'd be a shame really.

The gates opened on their own accord and we walked in, huddling to ourselves to keep warm. Three men met us on the other side, each of them wearing suites. We wore our acts like a mask once again.

A tall blond man smiled cockily," evening, pretty ladies. Get yourselves on in here." He and his friends looked us up and down.

"We just need to make a call," I sweetly informed him.

The same man looked to me, sure they were good looking men, but ever since I found Cas, I don't see how anybody could compare, plus these were no men, these were _demons_ ," you don't need to call anyone, baby." He eyed me.

He continued looking between us," we're the only help you're ever gonna need." They started to walk closer. We started to step back. A man grabbed my shoulder and the same was said for Jo. We hadn't expected them to get handsy, genuine fear filling me," where you goin'? I said get your asses in here." They blinked, making their eyes go fully black. That was Sam and Dean's cue to come to the rescue. They sprung from their spot and ganked the demons no problem, complimenting our work to get us in.

Sam and Dean ran for the building while Jo and I dashed for the electric box. Jo was more experienced in this area so I let her take over as she selectively picked wires and clipped them. The sound of the building's electricity shutting off met our ears.

"You're awesome, Jo," I complimented with a wide smile.

She did a little curtsy," Ash taught me how to do that." I missed Ash. His death stung more than I had initially realized.

Jo ran back to the car and prepared to back us up if this went sideways. When I stepped into the building, I saw my brothers being held by demons, knives pressed to their throats. Like a cat I was silent in my steps as I approached them. Once close enough I pounced and nailed the hellbitches with the heels of my pumps through their ears, blood splattering all over my gown. I pouted at the sight.

"It's okay, princess, there's plenty more," Dee tried to comfort. Though I may be a toughass hunter who wears leather and listens to _Led Zeppelin_ on repeat, I could be one hell of a girly-girl. I could like pink, I could like dresses, and painted nails.

"You are quite peculiar, darling," an accented voice met my ears. If I had to place it, it sounded Scottish. I looked up to see a man in an all black suite. He was older, domineering, and pensive. I mean, I could practically smell his ego dripping from his pores. Whatever I wanted to say about this crossroads demon, it could wait, for right now: he had the Colt, gave it too us with bullets for _free_ , and even told us were we could find Lucifer. We couldn't really argue with that.

* * *

Once more reunited with my angel, I sat on his lap as he played a drinking game with Ellen. She knocked back her shots like a professional, then it was Cas's turn.

I gave him some advise when he started to down his own quickly," easy baby, that's gonna go to your head."

He tipped the last one over and looked around, squeezing my side comfortingly. We all watched him for an answer, not knowing if getting an angel drunk was even possible," I think it's affecting me." Jo and I giggled and gawked together at my soulmates response.

"Julie, now you need to throw some back," Jo instigated.

I shook my head," no way, I'm happy with my apple juice, thank you," I swished the bronze liquid around in my glass. I heard Castiel chuckle behind me.

"Something funny, mate?" I smiled at him. Ellen and Jo went into their own conversation.

He stared into my eyes with pure adoration," no. It makes me feel happy to see you do the most innocent of things. You're soul is divinely precious, I wish you could see it the way I do," he said. His eyes darted all over me, like he was seeing something that I could not.

"My soul?" I wondered. He nodded. I set my glass on the table and adjusted myself so that I was laying in his arms, my hand on his chest mindlessly playing with his tie and trench coat flaps," what's it look like?"

His eyes searched mine for the words," it's incredibly hard to put it into words, but... to you it may look like... perfectly cut diamonds in the sunlight, never fading or dimming, only constant glimmers of colors, lights and flashes. Every aspect of you shines in a way that renders me speechless. You're beautiful, Julie, and not just physically," he blushed," emotionally. I've never seen anything like you in all of my existence."

His words actually made me fight a lump," Cas...I—I think that's the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me."

"You deserve it, my love," he whispered only for me to hear. I blushed and closed the distance. Taking his lips sweetly by my own. Both of us smiling into it, my heart warming.

Bobby calling us to the living room made us pull apart. We followed everyone there where Bobby prepared a camera.

"No one wants their picture taken, Bobby," Ellen spoke with her hands on her hips.

"Hear, hear," Sammy agreed making me smile.

"Shut up." Bobby voiced," you're drinkin my beer." When he finished with the timer he rolled his wheelchair back, we scrambled to our places,"Anyway, I'm gonna need something to remember your sorry asses by." I stood in front of Cas and Sam, beside Ellen. Cas placed a hand on my shoulder which I held with my own hand, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles. My other hand snaked around Ellen's back which she mirrored on me.

"Ha!" Ellen laughed," always good to have an optimist around!"

Castiel spoke next, unknowingly depressing all of us," Bobby is right. Tomorrow we hunt the devil. This is our last night on earth." The camera flashed and captured our now melancholic expressions.

I sighed," I think, I could use one last beauty sleep," I announced," I'm going to bed, night you guys." From Ellen, Jo, and Bobby there was a collective 'goodnight' and 'sleep well's'. Sam and Dean hugged me tight and kissed my head. I told them I loved them before Castiel followed me off to bed.

Once I changed into my night clothes I stared out the window, looking up at the starry sky, thinking of my role. I am doomed to die along with my unborn children. It was cruel and God was just standing by, letting this Apocalypse happen. Castiel sat on the bed, watching me in silence for a few moments.

"What are you thinking about, Julie?" He wondered softly.

I looked down to the wooden floor," my fate." present!Castiel was going to have to find out one way or another, but _I_ had to be the one who told him.

I felt arms wrap around me from behind, leaning back into his chest I closed my eyes at the contact," and what fate is that?" He hummed in my ear.

At that my brows knitted. I turned in his arms and searched his eyes," you really don't know?"

He shook his head.

I swallowed and rested my hands on his warm chest," I always got in the way of Sam and Dean's fights. It looks like I should be no different for Micheal and Lucifer," I tried to hint. I watched him work this out in his head," who's the sister loved on both fronts? Can you think of no angel who parishes in the crossfire?" His wings were wrapped loosely around me, brushing my calves softly.

I could see the revelation in his eyes, the fear, the worry," Julianel." I nodded in answer. I heard his heart quicken and breathing become slightly erratic," N-no, I won't let you die—you can't."

I shrugged sadly, I didn't really know what to tell him besides the truth. I ran my hands up and slid off his trench and under coat," it's what you told me when Zachariah flung us into the future five years from now. And...and that's not _all_ of it," I had debated whether or not I should tell him, but I decided he deserved to know everything.

"What is it?" He needed to know.

As I figured out how to say this, I loosened his tie and took it off, letting it join the coats on the floor," w-when I die...I'm...there's..." I stumbled over my words. I felt his fingers gently tilt my chin up to his face. His eyes holding no anger or impatient towards me. That's where I found my answer," when I die...so do our babies."

He blinked in silence, his eyes growing ever wider. Then I saw his lids beginning to grow wet-his eyes, glossy," _our babies_ ," he repeated. All I could do was nod and repress my quivering lip. He blinked back the tears and pulled me to his chest. I felt him wrap his arms around my neck and his hand tangle it's fingers in my hair. His onyx wings wrapped around me tighter than ever before.

He swayed a bit with me and we sniffled with each other, mourning something we didn't even have yet," screw destiny." His word making me lean back to look at him," screw fate, screw the apocalypse!" He cupped my cheeks with his soft hands," I don't care what it takes, my love, I'm not letting this happen to you. Whatever I have to do to make it stop, I _will_ find it," he wiped my tears away.

"I don't want to die," I crumbled.

"Oh my sweet Julie-" he leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss to my lips"-death won't take you, or our children—you're mine. I won't let him." I smiled through my tears, he's changed so much since we first met in that barn.

"I love you, Cas," I said softly," whatever happens, that's what I want you to always know."

He mirrored a small smile, he sniffed," I love you too, Julie." I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight, never wanting to let go, running some fingers through his feathers. I felt him pick me up and carry me over to my bed. He set me down and situated himself and me. I snuggled into his chest.

His voice pulled me back from sleep all of the sudden," I want to have babies with you."

I giggled tiredly," I want to have babies with you too, Castiel. C-can you promise me one thing?"

"Anything, my Julie," he carded his fingers through my hair, playing with the ends.

My voice was far away," if we live through this, the hunting business is no place for a baby-let alone, two- they wouldn't have much of a chance at life like this. Cas...I want out. I want to settle down permanently, I want to give my kids a better life than I had, and I want to share all of it with you. If we make it, I'm finished."

I felt him pull me impossibly closer to him," I can give that to you, my love, you have my word, I promise."

I smiled lazily, sleep nearing me," thank you." And I let his embrace carry me off to sleep.

* * *

The second we arrived in this town in Carthage, Missouri, everything felt off. There were no townspeople, and to top that off there was eerie silence blanketing the place. And for the cherry-on-top-of-the-cherry-on-top, Cas had run off, saying he needed to find the reason all the reapers were surrounding the place. Until we got him back, we looked around, trudging down the street with our rifles out.

"Well, this is great, been in town twenty minutes and already lost the angel up our sleeve," Dean commented the anyone. I didn't really want to think about losing Castiel right now.

Sam's voice came with caution," you think, uh, you think Lucifer got him?"

"No," I rushed out quickly. To cool it off I added," i-if Lucifer got him I'd feel it. He's alive." For now I thought," if you see me double over and screaming my head off for no reason, then you'll know otherwise."

"-there you are," came a new female voice all of the sudden. We whipped around to the new threat, aiming our weapons. It was the demon Meg," guys, you shouldn't have come here."

"Hell, we could say the same for you," Dean remarked back.

Meg pouts," didn't come here alone Dean-o." Suddenly in the puddle to her right something splashed. A growl came from the belly of a beast I couldn't see with my own eyes. Soon there were multiple growls and snarls coming from all around us.

"Hellhounds," my oldest brother tried to act like he wasn't afraid. Hell hounds were what killed him for the first time, ever since then we all kinda knew he had nightmare about them.

"Yeah, Dean, you're favorite," she chuckled and told us her "father" wants to see us. We quickly passed her up on that. Suddenly my blond brother fired a shot into blank space, a burst of blood erupting there and a whine.

"RUN!" Sam instructed. Not needing to be told twice, I ran with Ellen and Jo to the nearest shop. The sound of someone falling and crying out captured our attention. It was Dee. Before I could run into the fray to save him, Jo was sprinting towards him. She fired her rounds into the invisible beast and helped Dean up. While they were running back we watched in horror as a hound took down Jo and raked it's claws through her abdomen. I don't know how but we someone got her inside of that shop, everything seemed to be going in slow motion.

I didn't fight the tears that pricked at my eyes as I aided Ellen with her daughter. My brother made quick work of salting the doors and chaining them before coming over to us.

"Oh Jo," I whimpered looking at her wound when Ellen lifted her hand up. Jo and Ellen looked on with fear in their eyes, I couldn't take it. I stood and searched the hardware store for any sort of bandage. I found some and came back over, Ellen helped me open it and apply it to the spot.

The excitement had calmed down in the room, our primary concern was for Jo who was growing more and more pale by the minute. I shook my head, tilting it to the ceiling," Cas, where are you, angel?" Nothing seemed to be going to plan. It was faint, but I could've sworn I heard his voice in my head reassuring me, but I think I may have imagined it.

I looked to Dean who was trying to get a radio to work to get a hold of Bobby. Sam was beside him as they whispered to each other. There were growls coming from outside every now and then, reminding us of our inability to escape. I stared at my hands, my hands that were covered in Jo's blood. How could such hands ever come to mother a child? How could something so innocent and pure belong in them?

Jo's voice pulled me from my thoughts," stop guys...stop," she sounded so weak. I wondered why she'd be saying that, so I looked up to see my brothers in a little huddle, no doubt planning what to do.

"Can we uh, be realistic about this please?" Jo requested looking at them. The boys walked closer to her so she didn't have to strain herself.

She continued," I can't move my legs...I can't be moved...my guts are being held in by an ace bandage. We gotta—we gotta get our priorities straight here." She informed us and we listened," Number one, I'm not going anywhere."

Ellen interjected," Joanna Beth, you stop talking like that."

Tears welled in her eyes, the lump in my throat was getting harder to ignore," Mom. I can't fight. I can't walk. But I can do _something_ ," she looked back to Sam and Dean," We got propane, wiring, rock salt, iron nails, everything we need."

"Everything we need?" I questioned.

"To build a bomb, Juls," she elaborated.

Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose," no. Jo. _No_." I always knew my brother had a spot for Jo in his heart. She was one of the women who defied his expectations and we could all see that he loved her for it.

Jo snapped," you got another plan? You got any _other_ plan? Those are hellhounds out there, Dean. They've got all of our scents. Those bitches will never stop coming after you. We let the dogs in, you guys hit the roof, make a break for the building next over. I can wait here with my finger on the button, rip those mutts a new one," she smiled making me do the same," Or at least get you a few minutes' head start, anyway." She was a fighter. Yes, it hurt like hell to hear her say these things, but she was making good points that we couldn't ignore.

Ellen was shaking her head frantically," n-no—I won't let you." She looked between us and her daughter, silently asking us to make Jo change her mind.

Jo looked to her mom," this is why we're here, right?" Ellen shook her head crying," if I can get us a shot on the devil— _Dean_ , we have to take it." Ellen tried to find another way—a way that kept Jo alive, but Jo wasn't having it. Ellen sobbed for a moment before commanding us to get to work. So that's what we did.

* * *

Ellen had stayed. There was nothing either of us could say to sway her from staying with her daughter, someone needed to let the hellhounds in and prepare the bombs. My heart was heavy as I followed Sammy out of the hardware store. We were going to lose two very good friends and hunters.

Sam pulled me along by the hand on the roof top. Just as we we turned a corner a loud explosion shook the ground. I turned in horror to see the the hardware store erupting in fire and smoke. Debris shot from the origin and billowed into the air and streets. I clasped my hand over my mouth, the realization of having lost them both hitting me. I fell to my knees and gasped for air, my eyes mirrored the fire before me. Ellen had come into my life as a mother figure and Jo was my sister. I hardly heard Sam and Dean trying to get me up," no! Why did we let them d-do that?!...t-they were family!" I felt Sam place his hands under my arm pits and hoist me up to his chest. Nevertheless I clung to his front and watched the explosion fade from view, the world slowly coming back to me.

At some point I had stopped weeping and Sammy set me down. We were about to approach a field where we could faintly see the vessel of Lucifer digging in the night. Sam looked at my blank expression in sadness, know there wasn't anything he could say to make me feel better right now. If I had Cas, maybe I could start to feel better, but he isn't here. I followed Dean along with Sam to hide behind some foliage.

Dozens of men stood, standing in silence as they bore their gazed into Lucifer. Dean spoke," guess we know what happened to some of the townspeople."

"Okay," Sam muttered. We were about to walk out there and face Lucifer. I could already feel my heart racing," any last words?" He asked us. Both Dean and I looked to him for a moment. So many things to say ran through my mind.

"I think I'm good," Dee said contently.

"Yeah. Me too," Sam agreed causing me to scoff, making them look to me in confusion.

"You know, you two could really say 'I love you' every once in a while," my words made them shift their weight," I love you boys."

"We love you too, bug," Sam responded with a hand on my back. I smiled at him a very deep part of me not wanting to die because I know what it would do to Cas, but my fate wasn't to die here. I know I had to be pregnant and I wasn't yet...at least I _hope_ I'm not.

"Lets kick it in the ass," I said with a smirk. Dean smirked as well and we went about our plan.

Sam would walk out and stall Lucifer and while his attention was focused on our brother, Dean and I would come from the side, firing the colt into the devil's head. So far everything was going to plan.

"Hey! You wanted to see me?" Sam drew Lucifer's attention to him and he stopped his digging. The devil eyed my brother's shotgun.

Lucifer smirked," oh, Sam, you don't need that gun here. You know I'd never hurt you. Not _really_." We were right beside him now and that's when Dean took his chance.

"Yeah? Well we'd hurt you. So suck it," Dean threatened with the gun aimed right at Lucifer's head. My hand tightened around my older brother's free one. There seemed a flash of fear in Lucifer eyes when he turned towards the gun, but just as planned, Dean pulled back the hammer, with it finger on the trigger and he let the bullet fly. It connected in the center of Lucifer's forehead, his head flying back at the force until he fell in a heap, on the ground. I held my breath as I saw him laying there. Dean and I looked at each other in shock, praying we'd really just stopped this whole mess. Sammy looked so hopeful. _There was a loud gasp from the corpse_.

Fear pumped through my veins at the sight of Lucifer getting back up on his feet, bullet wound still freshly bleeding.

"Uhh, Dee?" I gulped.

"Owwww," Lucifer complained holding his head," where did you get that?" He pointed at the weapon in Dean's hand. With the wave of his hand Dean and I were flung back, I couldn't say the same for Dean, but my back of my head smacked the body of a tree and my lights went out.

* * *

I felt someone shaking my shoulder and I opened my eyes to see who would disrupt me from such a peaceful sleep. It was Sam, but his terrified expression woke me instantly. There was pain on the back of my head and a warm liquid that I could feel trickling down my neck and back. I followed my brothers gazes to see Lucifer giving a speech to a bunch of the townsmen. They repeated after him and with a burst of light, the vessels fell to the ground—dead.

Lucifer looked back to us, seeing our horror," what? They're just demons," he shrugged. So he did see them as expendable. After the humans were gone, demons were next. Lucifer wasn't going to stop until this planet was his and his alone.

I felt Dean place his hand at the back of my head when Lucifer went back to the massive burial site," Julie, your head." He brought his fingers around to show me the blood he'd found.

"We have to find Cas," was all I said. There's no way we could take on Lucifer like this. We need to find my angel and get the hell out of dodge!

Suddenly the earth beneath me began to roll. I could feel the ground shake as something neared the surface at an alarming rate. My heart began to race once more, fear taking over me. I didn't want to be here, whatever Lucifer was raising I didn't want to see it. I began to get squirmy the urge to run away gripping my heart," D-Dee I don't wanna be here." Having panic attacks scared me, only aiding my haywire mind.

I thanked whoever was answering my prayers. To the right of me I saw my angel I gasped in relief he held his pointer finger to his lips to be quiet. I nodded and hugged him. He used his two hand to clap a brother on the shoulder and we were gone.

Once back at Bobby's I was pale from blood loss. Castiel held my hand while the oldest Winchester sutured my gashed head back together. Cas felt so bad for not being able to heal me properly, all I cared about was that he was here, nothing else really mattering.

I sat behind Castiel on the couch as we watched the tv in the living room. There was nothing good on: the news was in an uproar about the hellish storms as of late. There were demon omens all across the globe.

That hellbitch Meg had trapped my soulmate in holy fire, it made his feathers all crinkled. I worked them out, preened them, corrected them, and pet them. Cas gave little content sighs every now and then.

"Uh, Juls? What are doing?" Sam asked as he stepped away from the fireplace. They had just burned the family photo we took.

My brows knitted," what's look like?" I thought Cas with his large, black, bird wings were damn near hard to miss.

"Like you're fidgeting with thin air," Sam answered. I stared at him, why would I be doing that? I don't think I'd lost my marbles yet.

Castiel cleared his throat," he can't see my wings, Julie."

"Oh right," I mumbled I looked back to Sammy," Meg trapped him in holy fire and got his feathers all crinkled. I'm preening." I turned my attention back to the matter at hand. Sam said no more only walked into the kitchen to clean the shot glasses from the day before.


	35. Chapter 36

**Every Humanly Way Possible**

 **A/N** : enjoy this break from depressing plots!

 **WARNING** : Smut, breed!kink, fluff

 **Rated** : M

* * *

I woke up feeling refreshed and momentarily forgetting about the apocalypse. I stretched out like a cat would and furrowed my brows when I didn't feel Cas beside me. I looked up to see that he was gone. Odd. He had never left before I had woken up. Maybe it was nothing. I dressed in a warm sweater and some jean shorts before finally heading downstairs to make some breakfast. I was surprised when I saw it had already been made.

I quirked a brow at Bobby who sat at the dinning table, a mug of coffee in his hands," mornin' kid." He greeted me with a soft smile.

I returned it," morning Bobs. Have you seen Castiel by any chance?" I snatched a piece of bacon off of the pan.

"He went out with your brothers," he answered taking a sip of his drink. I blinked in confusion, grabbing a plate and getting my food.

I joined my surrogate at the table," he did? Where did they go?" I forked some eggs in my mouth.

He shrugged and avoided my gaze," can't say. They don't tell me much, darlin'."

I squinted at him," you're lying."

"No I'm not!" He defended.

"Bobby Singer that was also a lie. When you lie you don't look people in the eyes," I knew his body langue well enough to tell when he was hiding something. My words made him shift in his seat and take another digressing sip of coffee.

I groan," ugh fine, don't tell me. Keep your secrets." I ate more of my breakfast, every now and then I would catch Bobby's eye and spot a knowing smile on his lips. Again, odd.

It was two in the afternoon when all of the boys returned to the bunker, funky little smirks on their faces. I stood from the porch swing and went over to the three of them.

"Where the hell have you three been?" I looked to my brothers, but more importantly: Castiel. I saw something flash in Castiel's eyes before he looked to Dean for help.

"W-we went out," Dean put his hands on his hips and nibbled his bottom lip. A signature move that was his when I could tell he was fibbing.

I crossed my arms," uh-huh and where did you go? Why couldn't I come?"

"Calm down, Julie-Bean, we had uh," Sammy hesitated," guy stuff."

"Guy stuff?" I squinted all three of them nodded frantically," what the fuck. Cas, where did you three go?" I asked him specifically, knowing I was his weakness. Sam and Dean were skirting around the angel and making a break for it. Leaving me alone with Castiel.

He looked to me and bounced a bit on his feet. What's gotten into him? I wondered. He looked to the floor before he finally met my eyes," y-your brothers wanted to show me how to use a firearm. Apparently my blade won't 'cut it'-" he made finger quotes"- all the time."

I gave a slow nod, trying to buy that. If I needed to know of anything I trusted my brothers and Castiel enough to tell me. I sighed letting it go," I missed you—you weren't there when I woke up."

His blue eyes softened," I'm sorry Julie, your brother's said it was urgent that I learned. It won't happen again my love, if it does, I'll make sure you know where I am." A wing hooked around my back and pulled me to him. I couldn't stop the smile on my lips as his wing dragged me closer to him and in for a kiss. Unfortunately I had to pull away for air.

"Let's get inside, there's a lot of research to do," I took his hand and led him into the house.

-break-

The lines on the pages seemed to blur between angel and demons politics and demon crossroad sales. I was thankful my head was in my hand or else falling asleep on the spot might look funny.

Just as I zoned into sleep Dee's voice met my ears," Juls, it's almost two in the morning, go to bed."

I huffed and blinked the sleep back. I didn't need to be told twice," ok, night Dee, night Sammy." Bobby had gone to bed thirty minutes ago. I stood and walked, but paused when I didn't hear Cas following me," you coming, angel?"

His eyes went wide for a second and he looked to Sam and Dean. I thought I was imagining their playful smiles in my groggy state.

"You got this, Cas," Sam assured him. I had no idea why he would need assuring and what this is he's 'got'.

Dean added," there's no way she'll turn you down—she loves you!" He whisper shouted, but I still heard him," now go, she's falling asleep where she stands." Before I could question my brothers, Castiel got up and placed a hand on my back, guiding me through the dark halls.

"What's up with you guys today? Is there something I should know?" My sleepy voice worried.

"Nothing is 'up'; everything is fine, my Julie," he led me to my room and helped me under the covers. I was thankful I had changed into my sleeping clothes beforehand. I felt him get the on the other side of the bed, his coats having been shed, and shoes taken off. I rolled over to him and snuggled into him, exhaling contently, today's odd events fading from my sleepy mind.

"I love you," I mumbled into his chest.

I belt his chest vibrate in a chuckle," goodnight Julie, I love you as well."

Dreamland met me quicker than it ever had before. I was in another flower field, the wind blew the nature around me with a cool breeze. I plucked little white flowers and braided their stems together. A buzzing sound caught my attention. I looked up with a start to see a Ruby Throated Hummingbird hovering there.

"Hey little guy," I cooed. I held out my open palms," you wanna land on my hand?" It's always been a dream of mine to hold a humming bird, but this little guy wasn't budging. He just stared at me and hovered away from my hand. I couldn't stop the small pout on my lips.

"Would you like some help, Julie?" Came the familiar gruff voice of Castiel. I looked behind me at him, hair dancing in front of my face.

I smiled brightly," it's always a good dream when you're in it."

He smiled back and sat down beside me. Awe filled me when he held out his hand and the bird landed there without a second thought. I gaped and tried to contain my excitement. My angel instructed me to holdout my hand and I did. He carefully placed the little green bird there and watched me with amusing grin. I gushed over the tiny animal and used my thumbs to gently stroke its sides and under it wings.

"It's your dream, Julie, if you wanted, you could dream up more," Cas advised. I blinked wondering if that was truly possible, so I set my mind to it. I imagined dozens of hummingbirds buzzing around me happily. They came from thin air, chirping sweetly to one another. I couldn't stop the wide smile on my lips.

"Talk about a dream come true," I giggled when they started to land on my head and arms.

Castiel chuckled," I find watching you intoxicating." At his words I flushed red and looked up at him, his stare of adoration making me bashful all of the sudden. I lifted my arms and up the little birds flew, away and into the floral horizon," there's something I wish to speak with you about."

"What is it, angel?" I turned to him and scooted closer. Both of our legs were crossed as we sat across from one another.

His gaze dropped and he licked his lips. Something about his body language made me nervous. I watched him use a hand to open the flap of his trench coat and pull something from the inside pocket. He looked into my eyes and sighed, opening the palm of his hand. Grabbing something shiny between his pointer finger and thumb. He held it before me to see. I gasped and clasped my hand over my mouth.

"Julianne Beth Winchester, I am aware that this sort of thing is a human custom, but I also know how much this means to you," he started. The diamond ring sparkled in the sunlight, I recalled how he had said my soul looked similar to that. This ring was the same one that 2014!Castiel proposed to me with. He continued, his gaze switching between my eyes and the ring," angels can live for ever, but it seems every beings' time is limited on earth now. If I am going to die, I wish to do it knowing we were bonded in a way that you're accustomed to. I love you very much, Julie, there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for you." Tears started to well in my eyes.

He looked down at the ring and smiled," I'd like to think that even if we weren't soulmates, I still would have chose you. You're a very beautiful human being, from your character, personality, to your soul. No matter what happens, our souls have a way of connecting and finding each other. I am so incredibly honored that you accepted me as your mate, my Julie. I hope I can make you happy with this bond of matrimony," he held it more to me and looked in my eyes, taking my left hand in his. It surprised me to see his eyes glossing over as well," Julie, will you marry me?"

I let out a sob," how do I know I'm not just dreaming this?" I asked. I wanted this to be real.

He closed the short distance between us, pressing our foreheads together," then wake up, my love. Wake up."

I opened my eyes which were wet, I looked for Cas who was sitting on my side of the bed, the same ring still pressed between his fingers. I sat up and lunged for him. Tackling him on the bed," yes!" I cried into his neck. He hugged me tight with his hands and wings. "Yes!" I repeated," I love you so much!"

We laughed through tears as we pulled apart and he took my left hand. He slid the ring onto my finger perfectly. I bit my lip beyond excited and happy to be getting married to my best friend and love of my life.

"Do you like it, my love?" He asked sounding a little nervous.

I snapped my head back to him, peppering his lips with kisses," of course I love it, angel! I'm so...happy," more tears streaked my cheeks.

"Your happiness is everything to me," he whispered. He moved his head and kissed along my jaw to my neck. He found his mark on me and sucked on it, sending waves of pleasure through me. I moaned, my desire needing to be handled.

"C-Cas anywhere but here," I wanted him. He agreed and with a flap of his wings we were somewhere else: a forest clearing, with high grass, and the night sky overhead to be exact.

"Where are we?" I wondered. Lush green trees surround us, there were faint hills I could make out in the moonlight.

"Germany," he answered naturally. My eyes went wide. The first place he thinks of isn't a motel room or a nice bed, it's Germany. Call my crazy, but the thought of getting intimate in the middle of the field, where no one to hear us or see us, turned me the fuck on. I slammed my lips against his, sliding my tongue in. Cas was quick to return the action.

"I—" I spoke between kisses," have always—wanted—to go to—Germany," needing to feel his skin on mine I shed my shirt and bra quickly. He leaned up from where I sat on his lap and ran his warm hand over my bare skin. While he started kissing my chest adoringly, I helped him out of his coats and white shirt. Our need for each other was heightened more than ever before. I bent my head down and started to kiss the mark on his neck. He growled in my ear.

I hopped up to help him when he slid both my pants and underwear off. Before I could stop him he ran an experimenting finger through my folds, groaning at how soaked I already was," all for me," he growled.

I whimpered with desire," only for you." I laid him back and stripped him of his pants, his member springing up. I was glad to know I affected him like this. Just as he surprised me, I quickly took his length into my mouth, loving the way he twitched in reaction. He sat up with a moan of my name and picked up my yellow hair lovingly to hold it back and out of the way. I bobbed my head up and down, sucking him to oblivion.

His hips bucked," I need you Julie," he grunted through his teeth, obviously holding back with everything inside him. I let go of him with a pop. Seeing him this needy of me had my core throbbing. I placed my knees on either side of him, sharing a kiss with him. I used my right hand to rub and fist some feathers. His arms wrapped around my back and shoulder, he guided me down onto him. The feeling of him entering me made me moan and collapse onto his chest.

"I love it how you fill me up," I breathed against his neck. I rose up and came back down on him, hearing him groan in pleasure," like we were made for each other."

"We were, my love," he pulled my chin up to look into his eyes. My hair bounced as I rode him," we were." He closed the distance and dominated my mouth with his tongue. I wrapped my hands around him, grabbing his wings and wrapping them around myself, it was a little chilly out here, but I didn't really care. I took the hand that bore the ring and tangled it in his hair, pulling lightly. I felt the knot begin to form in my abdomen, I needed sweet release. I pulled away from his kiss.

"C-Castiel...I," I could formulate words properly. He shushed me and used a hand to spread my legs apart more. He now thrusted himself up even deeper, hitting my g-spot. I cried out his name.

He pecked my mark and nipped it with his teeth," I want to fill you with my children, I wish to see you grow round with them. You'll be the best mother, my darling. Come, come with me." At those words I panted, my cries growing closer together until I fell over the edge. I screamed Castiel's name to no one. I felt him spew his hot seed into me at the same time, aiding my climax. He rode me out, our juices making his thighs and lower stomach glimmer. We slowed down panting as we held each other.

Calming down somewhat I asked," you really want me to bear our kids?"

His prickly cheek rested against the top of my head, his fingers playing with my hair soothingly," yes my darling, if you'll allow it, of course."

I pulled back and searched his eyes," you realize that if I'm pregnant, I'd have knocked over another domino in my fate?"

He shook his head and cupped my cheek, silky wings tightening around me," fate is never certain. I believe that we have the freedom to chose our ends, you and our children are not dying while I can help it."

I grinned liking the sound of that," I don't even know when the right time to conceive would be—it could be right now for all we know."

He smiled happily as well," then I suppose we'll just have to mate some more." I snickered and pecked his lips. He fell back on the grass with me on top of him. My fiancé and soon-to-be husband.

-break-

We popped back to Bobby's, every member of this home was off to their own dreamland. I couldn't wait to show my brothers the ring and gush over everything, but for right now I could settle with warm cuddles and sleep.

When I woke up, of course Castiel was already staring at me. I watched him as he sturdied my face in the morning light from my window. He looked so peaceful and content. I told him that I had to go show my brothers and he smiled, letting me go. I threw clothes on and bounded down the stairs like I used to when I was younger.

"Sammy, Dee! You're not gonna believe this!" My voice was sing-songy while I skipped in the halls. I saw my brothers and Bobby in the kitchen.

Sam grinned," someone's happy."

"Happy?!" I scoffed I couldn't retain my giggles," look!" I held up my hand to showcase the shiny ring on my finger. I had no idea how he got the money for this ring and I didn't want to know.

All the boys' faces lit up. They gave little cheers and claps, even more so when Castiel entered the room and pulled me to his side gently.

"Congratulations Juls!" Dean started," I guess we'll let you marry him."

"You guess?" I crossed my arms," Dean, even if you hated his guts I think I'd still be going this route." No matter what, Cas was it for me.

My brother shrugged," he asked us if he could. I trust him and he knows-" he gave my angel a pointed look,"- that if he tries anything I'll be deep frying myself some wings." I audibly heard Castiel gulp beside me. I nudged him a bit, letting him know that I was here and that nothing would happen to his gorgeous wings. I was touched that he asked for Sam and Dean's permission to marry me, he probably even asked Bobby.

Dean took a sip of his coffee," now go get dressed, we're going dress shopping, princess." My jaw dropped at that.

"What? Dean you can't be serious! I mean...is now the right time? I thought we'd wait until the apocalypse was over, whose paying for all of this?" I fired questions.

The oldest sibling raised his hands in surrender," calm down, we've got this all under control. Of course it's the right time to do this! Who knows how long we're sticking around for," his voice softened," the dress isn't gonna pick itself."

I grew quiet shifting my gaze between my brothers," you guys would do this for me?"

Sam smiled," of course, Jul, you deserve it." I looked down at the floor with all of the attention I was getting. I looked up to meet the warm eyes of my angel. I know that with the support of the ones I loved, this would be a piece of cake.

* * *

There is an element of credit that I must pay acknowledgement to: thank you IsaBellaSwan1901 for helping me decide how the proposal was derived, you're an incredible friend!


	36. Chapter 37

**Winchesters and Weddings**

 **WARNING** : smut, fluff

 **Rated** : M

* * *

Forget what I said about it being a piece of cake, this was stressful! Sam and Dean kept insisting that the location of the wedding, and the decorations, and the food would all be perfect when the day comes, but I couldn't help but panic! And not to mention all of the dresses I tried on weren't "the one". I was beginning to think all those pretty brides on TV were lying until...I found it. It was the last pick that both my brothers went and found together.

Having my brothers help me with this meant so much to me, they didn't even look bothered to be here, if anything, they were enjoying themselves. How often do we get to enjoy something "normal"? The dress the two of them found was long, with white lace sleeves all the way to my wrists. The back of the dress was opened, showing a few scars I had earned, but I wore them with pride. The lace work covered my chest to my collar bones.

It pained me to tell Cas that he couldn't see the dress until the wedding, he couldn't understand that it was just a custom and no groom is _ever_ happy about it. Until the wedding day( Sam and Dean wouldn't tell me when it was gonna be. Not even Bobby would spill!) I'd lay awake with my angel going on for hours about what usually happens during a wedding. He seemed excited and his wings would ruffle happily as we spoke.

One topic that I could see really affected him was that we were giving him the Winchester last name. I'd explained to him that at weddings, the bride generally takes the husband's last name, but Castiel didn't exactly have a last name. When I offered him the idea he lit up, looked at me with awe. He knew name giving was a sort of a big deal in marriage for humans, he took it graciously and in no way lightly.

I was awoken by my fiancé on one particular morning. He peppered sweet and quick kisses all over my face. Complimenting and whispering sweet nothings. His wings playfully flapped and spread over my bed.

"Cas? What are you doing?" I chuckled," do we have a case?"

He pulled back, shaking his head," not a case, a wedding." My eyes went wide and my blood ran cold.

"Today?!" I practically screeched.

"Shh," he cooed and placed a loving kiss to my forehead and one to my nose before looking me in the eyes," I trust that your brothers have everything under control, they usually do. You have nothing to worry about, my darling."

I felt my heart begin to slow at the comfort he shared," you do understand that I won't be able to see you for a few hours, right? It'll be murder for us both."

He nodded and sighed," I am painfully aware." He stated," but then again, when I do see you, you will be in a lovely dress, and we will be wed-" he sat beside me on the bed"- I must confess, I feel...anxious and...slightly ill."

I chuckle now and rested my head on his shoulder," it's normal. Pre-wedding jitters are a bit of the custom as well, I forgot to mention that bit. Sorry, angel." I pouted. I leaned up and place one last kiss on his lips, until I saw him later. This was really happening. Sam came to my room to collect me and I went with him.

Sammy drove me in the impala to a small church. He said that Dean and Bobby were already inside and that I would meet with them soon. I lost count of the many times I tried to tell Sam I was sick to my stomach, but he just laughed and told me it would all be okay. The moments that transpired were a blur, apparently Sam had helped me into the dress, and I'd done my make-up. I came to reality whilst I stared at myself in the vertical mirror. This woman in the white dress looked like a whole other person: a stranger to my eyes. This person staring back at me was normal. My mind started to wonder what this Julie would be like if she had a normal life. Was normalcy even something she would like?

"Please don't tell me you're having second thoughts," Sam's voice came from behind me. I looked at him behind me in the mirror, a faint smile on his face. The tux he wore was unlike the FBI garb we usually sported, this was... _genuine_. He had a beautiful small boutonniere pinned to the flap.

I nervously scoffed," of course not, I'm just..." I tried to think of the best word," worried. I know the people I love will do everything to stop my destiny from happening, hell, even I will, but," I turned to Sam behind me, away from the mirror," I can't help but feel my fate unwinding like it's supposed to."

Sam looked down to something in his hands, my bouquet," Julie, today is not the day to worry about fate or the apocalypse, today is about my little sister getting married-" he passed the flowers to me. They were beautifully colored dahlias"- everything else can wait, bug. _Today, everyone is happy._ " He smiled warmly and told me I look beautiful. I blushed I couldn't believe I was actually getting married. Maybe something as merry as this, was needed right now.

The doors to my dressing room opened loudly, the booming voice of my other brother filling the room," there's the beautiful bride! I must say, you look breathtaking, princess." He stood before me with Bobby at his side. All of them wore lavish suits an boutonnieres," how you feeling?"

I scoffed," I feel so nervous I could be sick." My heart hadn't seemed to stop beating so rapidly.

Bobby nodded with a smirk," at least your holding up better than your angel. Damn kid popped all the lights in the room!" _Yeash_ , I thought. I just want to go to him and end his suffering. I pouted at his words.

Dee kissed my forehead," you'll see him soon," he said and glanced at his watch," in about-ten-minutes _soon_ ," he looked back up to me," I gotta go stand by Feathers, see you out there princess!" I watched with my mouth agape as he skipped out, a jolly smile on his face. _Today, everyone is happy._

Sam kissed my hair next," I'll be your bridesmaid, bug, see you out there." I felt my nerves crank up a notch at that. He left and Bobby held out his arm for me to take, he walked me through a door and through another one, where we waited for the music to begin.

"I'm sorry in advance, Juls, the only ones in the pews are me and Rufus," he told me sadly.

My brows softened," that's all I need, Bobbby." He gave a silent nod and we both had our gazes fixed on the wooden door before us.

"You're parents would've loved to have been here," he stated," they'd be real proud of you."

I blinked, not wanting to cry and ruin my make-up. I cleared my throat," I know." The tension in the air grew, as did my nerves. Where was the music?! At least I thought that was our cue to get going...

"Hey Bobby?" He hummed," at my funeral I want white flowers—don't let anybody where black—and don't let them play that sad-ass music!" I quickly instructed, feeling like I could pass out from the nervousness.

My surrogate father's laughter calmed me down some," you ain't dyin' Juls! Not on our watch," It sure felt like it. I felt my blood run cold when the organ started to play.

" _Oh God_..." I whispered. Bobby patted my hand, the wooden doors opened and we started to walk.

* * *

It felt like minutes had gone by, before I could look up from the red carpet. As I walked I was finally able to look to the alter, my angel stood there, clad in a wedding tux, minus the trench coat. A gorgeous stain glass sat behind him in the background, making him look even more divine. At first it felt like there were millions of eyes on me, but with a single look, only rows of empty pews stared back. After I captured Castiel's eyes it was hard to look away. I had even missed Bobby handing me off to him, placing my hands in his.

I don't know how, but he even decorated his wings. Little celestial jewels and gold chains adorned them. I found myself wanting, so bad, to run my fingers through the soft feathers, but thought better of it.

The minister began," Dearly beloved we are gathered here today in the sight of God to join this man, and this woman in holy matrimony. Not to be entered into lightly, holy matrimony should be entered into solemnly and with reverence and honor. Into this holy agreement these two persons come together to be joined." I nibbled my lip trying to fight the painful lump in my throat. I watched Castiel's ocean eyes begin to water and grow glossy.

The minister continued, every word rang in my head, I wanted to provide for Cas in such ways," Marriage is a sacred union between husband and wife and shall remain unbroken. It is the basis of a stable and loving relationship and is a joining of two hearts, bodies and souls. The husband and wife are there to support one another and provide love and care in times of joy and times of adversity."

"We are all here today to witness the joining in wedded bliss of Castiel and Julie. This joyous day celebrates the commitment and love with which Castiel and Julie start their lives together," I wondered if this minister thought something fishy was up with Castiel's name, but if he did he said nothing,"Through God, you are joined together in the most holy of bonds. Who gives this woman in holy matrimony to this man?"

"We do," Sam and Dean chorused. I couldn't help but let a tear slip, had things been different, it'd have been my parents saying that. I felt Castiel rub a thumb over my knuckles, sensing my sadness.

Now the time came for exchanging vows. I took a deep breath, listening to the minister and my...husband," Do you, Castiel, take Julie, to be your lawfully wedded wife and live together forever in the estate of holy matrimony? Do you love, comfort, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse for as long as you both shall live?"

I witnessed a tear streak down his cheek," I do," he spoke with such sincerity, taking this bond to heart, as it should be.

I sniffled and the minister turned to me," Do you, Julie, take Castiel, to be your lawfully wedded husband and live together forever in the estate of holy matrimony? Do you love, comfort, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse for as long as you both shall live?"

I smiled brightly, a dream coming true," I do." The minister went on to exchange the rings between us, we bore our silver rings on the proper fingers now. I couldn't stop the happy tears from falling, nor did I want to.

At last, the minister spoke the words I wanted to hear," I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," he told Cas. Without needing to be told twice, we both leaned in and passionately, lovingly, and tenderly placed our lips onto the other's. The organ started up again along with the cheers and applause from my family. After a moment, their celebration faded, all I could focus on was Castiel. His wings had unfolded from their elegant position and wrapped around us like a cocoon, however, my family couldn't see them. Unfortunately, we had to pull away because I needed air: breathing just didn't seem as important at the time. I looked my husband in the eyes, feeling impossibly happy and lucky. Winchesters don't usually get this, what a privilege it is to hold a wedding with the love of your life.

* * *

Castiel and I sat in a pew with Sam. Dean, Bobby, and Rufus sat in the pew behind us. It was nearing midnight and we had the church all to ourselves, so it was safe to say that my brothers broke out the beer. Tonight was special, so I decided one bottle couldn't hurt. We all spoke, told stories, and laughed till our sides hurt, just the six of us.

Sammy sighed," another brother," he shook his head and sipped his beer," I hope you last longer than we ever did," he told Cas.

"Thank you, Sam," my angel told him. I was sitting between his legs in the pew, my head against his chest, with a warm wing draped over me," it feels...good having all of you as a family."

I yawned," blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb," I mumbled to no one.

I felt the wing wrap over me more in response," I wasn't created in a womb." My brows knitted, I had so many questions on that topic, but that was for another day, I was having trouble keeping my eyes open.

"Looks like your wife is falling asleep there, Cas. Better get to honeymooning before she sleeps through it," Dean teased, wagging his eye brows.

I still blushed," honeymooning? I didn't even know we were." I sat up and looked at Castiel," where to? I don't even have anything packed."

"It's what you would call a 'surprise', darling. I've already packed your bags, they're waiting for us," my husband informed me. I was even more confused. I would've been perfectly fine with no honeymoon, but this was unexpected. We stood and told the family goodbye. My brothers we the hardest to speak to.

"Remember, wrap it up, kids," Dean advised. I rolled my eyes and glared at him. He held his hands up in surrender," just be safe, princess." He softened and kissed my forehead. Sam repeated the action, both brothers getting a loving hug. Once we told everyone goodbye, Cas wrapped an arm around my waist, with the flap of his wings we were somewhere else. My jaw dropped, sleep disappearing instantly.

"Cas, where the hell are we?" I stared at a very very _very_ large log cabin home. It had to be three stories, I was betting you could sleep in a different bed room every night!

"Alaska," he simply stated, watching my reaction.

I gasped and looked to him, thunderstruck," Alaska?! And who paid for this mansion?!" He was about to reply when I quickly used a finger to cover his mouth, deciding against it," you know what? I'd rather not know, we should just enjoy it, right?." I wrapped my arms around me from the cold staring back at the massive home.

I felt him wrap an arm around me," let's go inside: I'll show you around. According to the local weather, we're do for a snow storm." Internally I was all over the place in excitement. I mean, a log cabin in a very beautiful state, all _alone_ with my husband, _snow storms?_ What more could a girl ask for?

The inside of the the literal mansion was breathtaking. I don't know how or why we were able to stay here, but I did not want to find out. I didn't want this to be a dream I would wake up from.

Castiel let me pick our bedroom. Obviously, I picked the room that was attached to its own bathroom that harbored a jacuzzi in the middle of it. The jacuzzi could wait for tomorrow, but for right now, I needed to get all of this make-up off of me. I started the shower and shed my dress on the bed, ensuring that it would be more safe out there. Suddenly I got an idea as I looked from the running shower to my husband sitting on the bed, who fiddled with his ring with a smile on his lips.

I pursed my lips," d-do you uh...wanna shower with me?"I intended on more than _just_ showering. He looked to me and caught my meaning in my eyes, I saw his jaw clenched and he cleared his throat.

"I would like that very much," he stood and walked over to me. I took his hand and led the way. I helped him shed his clothes and he helped me out of my undergarments. The steam in the room swam across my few of him.

"I know this is your first time with showers, do you trust me?" My breath fanned over his lips. I used the hand with the ring to cup his face and trail over his prickly beard.

"With my life," he agreed. I smiled and led him into the space. I backed him into the water, tilting his head back a bit to let the water cascade through his hair. His wings seemed a little cramped, but he made do. He hummed at the feeling he was experiencing.

"Feels good doesn't it, baby?" He hummed again, closing his eyes. Because this was his first time, this experience was about him. Once he was soaked I lathered some shampoo into his hair. His little whimpers of content made me feel good. He was enjoying this, that was all I could ask for. Once the shampoo was rinsed from his onyx hair, he turned to me with needy eyes.

"Now you," he grumbled. The atmosphere around us was heating with sexual tension. I gave him the shampoo and he repeated what I'd done to him. He delicately and diligently washed my hair. He was gentle and sweet, placing sweet kisses to my skin every now and then. It felt so good to have him just being there for me, just being _this_ intimate. When my shampoo was washed out I grabbed the soap and lathered my body, thinking nothing of the action. I missed the dilation of his pupils as I now smoothed the soap over his chiseled body. He had an absolutely perfect physique.

I put the soap up, intending to rinse the both of us, but he turned me around, pulled me to his front. I felt his hard friend rub against my butt. I whimpered, need pooling in my own core. I watched him snake a hand down my front, landing it where I wanted him most. I moaned when his fingers began scissoring my folds. I leaned my head back in the crook of his neck. He brought his head down to kiss my mark and nibble my ear.

I gasped when I felt him plunge two fingers into me. He started to massage my insides at a delicious pace," you're so beautiful, my darling, my wife." I whined, needing more.

I rocked my hips on his fingers, silently telling him what I needed. I felt his chest vibrate in a chuckle," shh, baby we've got enough time here for each other. Let me make love to you as you deserve," he dug his fingers deeper and curled them up, rubbing my spot skillfully," I don't intend to mate you once," he whispered in my ear. At that I felt the knot in my stomach give and came around his fingers, my walls clenching him. I panted and turned to him, with dazed eyes.

I captured his lips with mine, our tongues dancing together. I let my back meet the wall of the shower, I glided his hands down so they were under my thighs. He caught on when I jumped and held me to him against the shower wall. Another dream was coming true for me: shower sex. I couldn't stop the giggle that betrayed me.

He noticed, chuckled as well, and pulled back," what is it, Julie?" He couldn't contain the smile in his face.

"I've always wanted to have sex in the shower. You keep making my dreams come true," I stared down those ocean eyes as they bore back into me.

"Your dreams are important to you, therefore they mean everything to me. I love you, Julie, with everything that I am," he rested his nose against mine.

"I love you too, Castiel, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you," I played with the hair at the base of his neck. I peck his lips sweetly before grinding my entrance teasingly over his cock. He growled. I prayed to him in that moment, I prayed that we make love as we never had before. Having heard my prayers, he stared deeply into my blue orbs while he entered me slowly. Stretching me in all the right ways.

In another situation I would have craved nothing more than to reach my climax, but this was about each other and helping the other feel pleasure. Together we soared to our orgasms, mouths on each other, agape and gasping for breath. I brought my hand back to tug on his feathers, making him gasp and head fall to my neck. There he nipped and peppered my skin with feather-light kisses. My undoing arose when he brought a hand down to massage the nub of my womanhood. Something about him painting my walls with his angelic seed felt different this time. I let it go, thinking it's just my nerves.

Needless to say, when the shower was finished, my husband and I were not. We had been at it for so long, that even my angel fell asleep. I had been the last to conk out, witnessing a beautiful smile on his lips. The final thought in my mind echoing: _today, everyone is happy._


	37. Chapter 38

**My Bloody Valentine**

 **A/N:** in the next two chapters or so we _should_ get some insight to the babies-to-come. *Also, I've been dying to write this chapter since it's one of my favorite episodes!

 **WARNING** : blood/ gore

* * *

I never thought I'd be working a case like this. With it being so close to Valentine's Day, this hunt almost seems fitting. Police had reported that a couple were getting intimate, but just before doing the nasty, they started taking chunks out of each other. I suspected some sort of possession, but the interrogation with her roommate ruled that out.

Sammy and I reentered the motel room with dinner. I spotted Dean at the small table and smiled in greeting.

"How'd it go?" He asked, looking up from some files. I placed the bags of fast food on the table and had a seat.

Sam responded to him,"um...No EMF, no sulfur. Ghost possession and demonic possession are both probably out."

I wish Cas were here, I thought maybe he could lend a hand, but he said he had matters to attend to in heaven. Since the wedding, we'd spent a week in Alaska: the snow storm had trapped us in. _As if we could complain._

Dean pursed his lips," huh, that's where I was putting my money."

I opened my bag and started to pluck fries into my mouth," find anything at the coroner's?"

He winced and covered his eyes, making a guttural sound of disgust," Jul— you didn't see the bodies. I mean, these two started _eating_ a- and they just... kept going," I felt my stomach flip," I mean, their stomachs were full. Like - like... _Thanksgiving-dinner_ full. Talk about co-dependent." I looked at the bag of fast food and scrunched my nose. Dean's horror story just made me lose my appetite. I scooted the bag away slowly. Dean muttered a small apology with a smirk.

Sam took the lap top on the table and placed it in front of himself. He exhaled," Alright. I'm just gonna go through some files. You can go ahead and get going." I rolled my eyes. How could I forget? Valentine's Day was Dean's favorite, no doubt he would be out celebrating soon.

My oldest brother's face contorted in confusion," sorry?"

Sam reiterated," it's okay, go ahead—unleash the kracken." That had to be the worst analogy in the history of analogies. I snorted lightly making my oldest brother look at me.

Dee looked even more confused. I didn't understand why he wasn't connecting the dots," where am I going?" He asked now with a bit of worry.

I spoke now," bub, it's Valentine's Day—Your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it," I thought for a second,"- Uh, unattached drifter Christmas?"

I watched my brother stand and go to the cooler, looking dazed," oh, yeah. Well... be that as it may...I don't know. Guess I'm not feeling it this year."

Sam and I looked at each other, this was definitely a first. I feel like somebody should be writing this down, I held my hands up, a shocked smile evident on my face," wait—you're telling us, that you're totally not into a bar full of lonely women, on _Valentine's_ Day?"

Dee shrugged, popped the cap off of his beer, and answered," nah. Guess not." Sam and I shared another shocked, yet worried stare. This just wasn't how Dean acted during this sort of holiday.

He noticed our reaction," what?"

Sam replied," it's when a dog doesn't eat- That's when you know something's really wrong." I laughed at the comparison, making Dean glare at the both of us. Oh well, if he wasn't into getting his freak on, that just means we have an extra hand to help us.

* * *

Another couple was killed last night, but in this case: a double suicide. I trailed behind the boys as we approached the autopsy room: FBI clad once more. I observed Sam as he suddenly watched a man pass in the hall with a suitcase. My brows knitted when I heard him sniff the air.

Once we stopped at the room I nudged him,whispering," you okay, Sammy?"

He nodded," yeah, fine." He didn't meet my eyes and he smoothed his suite down when it was already perfect. _Fine my ass_ , I thought, but I dropped it for now. The doctor, rather cheerfully, allowed us access to the bodies, even tossed us the keys to lock up when finished.

He put his hat on and tipped it," and please, lady and gentlemen...refrigerate after opening." There was something a bit spooky about him that I couldn't name, but we really couldn't argue—we needed to examine these specimens.

Dean and I grabbed some surgical aprons in the room and we helped each other put them on. Once the gloves were on, I went to inspecting the organs with Dean. Both livers looked perfectly normal so I moved on to the heart of the male victim. I glanced up to see Dean sliding the female's heart to Sam, who fiddled with something that looked like an appendix.

"Hey," Dean captured his attention," be my valentine?" And smirked tiredly. I laughed when Sammy glared daggers at him.

Me being out to make Dean miserable, I scooted my heart over to Sam," would you be _my_ Valentine?"

Sam looked more thoughtful at me," of course, bug." I smirked smugly at Dean who squinted at me. Just when I was about to pull back with my heart Sam stopped me, quickly muttering something about a spot on the heart. He pulled the magnifier over it and observed it. Dean and I watched eagerly.

"Oh no," Sam muttered still looking through glass.

"What?" Dean and I chorused.

Sam turned off the magnifier and looked to us," These hearts both have identical marks...I think they're Enochian." Great, I thought, more angel business. We'd learned very quickly that any angel, besides Castiel, was not to be trusted.

"You mean like angel scratches?Sort of like the stuff on our ribs?" Dean wondered. Sam elaborated that he did not have a clue in the slightest. Both of the men turned to me expectantly. At first I wondered why, but then it clicked: we needed an angel's help and who better to get a hold of an angel than someone who's married to one?

I rolled my eyes," since you asked so nicely, how about I give him a call?" They snickered and patted me on the back. I took off a single glove and dialed my husband's number.

"Julie?" He answered on the first ring," are you alright?"

"Hey sweetheart, yeah I'm I'm fine. Im really sorry to bother you—do you think you can come down for a minute, we found something strange, Sam thinks it's Enochian writing; we don't know what it means," I explained, assuring to him that there was no danger. I started to venture away from the boys.

He sighed in relief," alright, where you?" I told him, but as I did he appeared right in front of me. I lit up, happy to see him—our last meeting was days ago.

"I'm there now," he stared into my eyes.

"I see that," I smiled. We hung up and I pecked his lips, leading him over to the table of organs.

I scrunched my nose when he picked up the heart with his bare hands. He confirmed the the symbols were, indeed, Enochian sigils. He put the heart down and I handed him a paper towel, which he seemed grateful for.

"It's a mark of union. This man and woman were intended to mate," my angel informed. My eyes flew to the mark on his neck, my name branded in an Enochian circle there. I thought similarly of the two.

"Okay, but who put them there?" I wondered.

"Your people call them 'Cupid'," he answered," they're actually a lower order of angel. Technically it's a cherub, third-class."

Dean's brows rose in surprise," Cherub? You mean the little flying fat kid in diapers?"

Castiel looked at his brother-in-law in confusion," no, they're not incontinent." I snorted, sometimes Castiel was too cute for his own good.

Sam focused us back to the task at hand," so what are you saying?"

My husband raised his voice," What I'm saying is: a Cupid has gone rogue and we have to stop him-before he kills again." I never thought I'd hear those words in all my life.

"Naturally," Sammy addressed looking down.

"Of course we do, because we're Winchesters," my oldest brother said, making a faint smile appear on Castiel's lips.

* * *

With Castiel's help, we decided that we'd wait for the Cupid to show up at a restaurant, that way we can trap him and interrogate him. Because it was Valentine's Day, I dressed up a bit more, happy to spend some time with my love.

I sat beside my husband in the booth while Sam and Dean sat in front on us. We waited for our food to come, looking around for anything suspicious.

"You look beautiful," I heard my husband sat in my ear.

My face heated up; I looked to him behind my eye lashes," thanks love, you always look sexy to me." I winked at him making him, blush now. I loved that even after marriage we could be bashful like this.

"I am so thankful my father gave us each other," he whispered and smiled at me," I couldn't ask for a more breathtaking wife." He draped a black wing over my back. I felt safe under his wing, literally.

"Get a room, lovebirds," Dee commented making me glare at him.

Finally the waitress came and set our food down, excluding Cas because he didn't need to eat food nor did he like the taste of it. Dean asked how we knew the Cupid was going to pop up in this specific restaurant. My husband, intensely watched Dee ketchup his burger, spoke.

"This place is a nexus of human reproduction. It's exactly the kind of-" the angel paused suddenly, eyeing the food,"-of garden the Cupid will come to- to pollinate." I looked at him with concern he didn't seem himself just then. Was there something in the air? Why was _Castiel_ acting funny now? He almost looked as if he wanted my brother's burger. I ate my food quietly, glancing up, I caught Dean putting his burger down, without eating any of it. My brows furrowed, this was something he'd never done before. Something was up with my brother and it was making me worry for him, this behavior just isn't him.

Sam noticed," wait a minute, you're not hungry?"

Dean looked around," no." He looked back to us as if his diminished hunger wasn't that big of a deal.

I went back to eating, trying to think nothing of his strange behavior. When I looked back up to casually observe the restaurant, a woman across the way caught my attention. She was sitting in a booth, a baby in her arms. She was happy and smiling down at her child, gently rocking back and forth. I wanted that. I wanted a baby—er...two. I seized eating and watched her for a moment, wishing that could've been me.

I felt eyes on me and looked to find Castiel staring at me, eyes silently asking if I was alright. I did nothing, only looked down to my plate and continued eating.

What really had me raising an eye brow was when my angel took the plate from Dean and almost ate the burger for himself, but he stopped short. He looked to the entrance door with focused eyes," he's here," we watched his eyes move, I saw nothing that he did.

"Where?" Sam looked around frantically with Dean," I don't see anything."

"There," Cas pointed, but once again, we saw nothing. Only the Valentine's Day decorations that hung from the ceiling, swayed in a breeze. I don't recall having seen anyone enter either to cause it. It seemed like the breeze landed on a couple sitting in a booth. We, rather awkwardly, watched as this couple started to make out. _So that was Cupid in action_ , I thought, _now I can die with that knowledge_.

"Meet me in the back," my husband ordered beside me. When I went to look at him, he had flapped away.

We sprinted to the back, trying to find out where exactly my angel was. Sam and Dean followed me as my feet walked themselves. I figured all I'd have to do to find Cas is follow the pull of his soul.

We rounded into a storage room and thankfully found the angel with his back to us. His hand was raised, reminding me of a Jedi using the force.

"Cas? Where is he?" Dean wondered and surveyed the room.

"I have him tethered," he answered. Next he uttered words in, what I assumed were Enochian, telling this creature to manifest itself.

Nothing happened for a moment. We all looked at each other. Dean was the one to break the silence," so where is he?" Suddenly a man popped up behind him and wrapped his arms around Dean's front in a tight hug. My jaw dropped this man was stark naked, he was larger than most men, but that didn't seem to affect the bright smile in his baby-like face.

"Oof!" My brother struggled under his vice hug.

"Here I am!" The Cupid announced in a sing-songy voice.

"Help!" Dean cried, out of breath. I smirked at him, seeing him this bothered.

Cupid hugged him tighter,"oh help is on the way. Yes, it is. Yes, it is."

* * *

We all watched in shock as this naked man—er— _Cupid_ , now made for Castiel. I painfully watched my husband suffer the torment of a cupid's hug. I blinked, something setting me off.

"Hey, get away from my husband!" My eyes went wide when he looked at me with equal happiness. Perhaps I hadn't thought this all the way through: he came at me with his arms open wide.

"What an honor this is! Soulmates in the flesh!" He praised and captured me in his naked grip. I tried to not touch his bare back with my hands, thinking it a bit inappropriate. My discomfort didn't last long for he found Sam as his next victim. Once he let me go I scrambled to Cas who held me protectively at his side.

" _This_ is Cupid?!" Dean asked from the other side of my angel.

"Yes," Cas answered. I tried not to contain my laughter as Sam suffered a hug.

"Is this a fight?" Asked Dean worriedly," are we in a fight?!" Everything I once knew about cupids just flew out the window, I had to learn about them from the ground up again, their body language was foreign to us.

"This is...their handshake," Castiel clarified.

"I don't like it," I piped shaking my head.

"No one likes it," he agreed.

He finally let go of Sam and turned to us, coming down from his high," so, what can I do for you?" I tried to look anywhere but at this naked Cupid.

Castiel informed him his targets slaughtering each other lately. Even if it was someone who seemed as innocent as a Cupid, we couldn't have innocent people dying. This needed to be handled.

What we didn't prepare for was Cupid growing very sad, his face contorting in pain. I sorta felt bad for making him feel like that.

Dean interrogated," Listen, birthday suit, we know, okay? We know you been flittin' around, popping people with your poison arrow, making them murder each other!"

"What we don't know is why," I softly told him.

Cupid looked at me with hurt," you think that I—? Well, I don't know what to say..." His lip quivered and he walked away from us, crying. The boys and I looked at each other. The last thing we wanted was to hurt his feelings. What if he really didn't cause this?

The four of us huddled together, whispering so the Cupid didn't hear us," s-should somebody maybe go...talk to him?" Wondered Sam lowly.

Dean nodded, whispering," yeah that's a good idea," he clapped my shoulder," give 'em hell, Jul."

I looked to him with wide eyes, Sam clapped my shoulder as well, I turned to my husband for help. He only gave me a sheepish smile. My eyes looked heavenward," my own family," I mumbled. I turned, stood straight, and took a deep breath before walking behind the crying Cupid.

I cleared my throat," look uh, we didn't mean to uh..." I looked back at my family for assistance. Dean gave a thumbs up while Sam and Cas nodded in encouragement," hurt your feelings."

Suddenly Cupid turned and trapped me in another hug, nearly squeezing all the breath from my lungs. His voice rang in my ear," Love is more than a word to me, you know? I love love. I love it! And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right!"

"Yes, yes, of course!" I nervously laughed, trying to make sense of his words," I um...I have no idea what you're saying."

He pulled away and explained himself," I was just on my appointed rounds. Whatever my targets do after that that's nothing to do with me. I- I was following my orders." He looked to my angel," Please brother. Read my mind. Read my mind, you'll see!" I saw my chance to back away and I took it, letting Castiel come up to him now as they entered an intense stare-down. I assumed Castiel was reading his mind, my brothers and I watched eagerly for his answer.

Once finished my angel sighed, turned to us and spilled," he's telling the truth." I let out a sigh of relief, not really wanting a Cupid to have been responsible for murder. At least cupids could still remain innocent in that aspect. Cupid was so relieved to have heard that. I followed Castiel to a table on the wall. He leaned against it and I face-planted into his chest with a huff. I felt both wings wrap around me. Who knew cupids could be exhausting?

Cupid went into his spiel about heaven being the one who appoints him, what ticked both my brothers off, Dean more so, was when he let slip that our parents were a "planned" couple. I was upset when he started to describe their relationship as the "perfect" couple. Well look where " _perfect_ " got them. They were dead; leaving behind three very broken children.

Dean ended up getting so upset that he punched that naked cherub in the baby-face. There was a loud cracking sound and Dean held his hand with a pained expression. I remembered when Dean punched Castiel and the same affect was applied to his poor hand.

"Where is he?" Dee looked around, but the Cupid was long gone. He turned to Cas for an answer," where did he go?"

Castiel shrugged," I believe you upset him."

"Upset _him_?!" Anger flowed in Dean's eyes.

Sammy stepped in to calm him down," Dean, enough! You just punched a Cupid!"

"I punched a _dick_!" Dean defended still holding his swelling hand. I didn't think Dean would punch something as innocent as that, I suppose even Sam thought so.

"Um," Sam looked to me and back at Dean," are we gonna talk about what's been up with you lately, or not?"

Dean stood up straighter, but grew quiet," or not." He grumbled then stormed out of the room.

When he was gone Sam's face softened as he stared at me," please tell me I'm not the only one who sees it."

I shook my head," you're not alone, something's wrong, I mean first he turns down his favorite holiday, he won't eat, and now this?" I sighed," we need to keep an eye on him." Sam nodded in agreement. We walked out, heading to the motel.

* * *

I couldn't stop googling maternity photos and baby pictures on my phone. I had just googled 'the best way to conceive a child with your partner' when Sam brought home a suitcase that felt pretty empty. He said he'd run into a demon who was carrying in, in their little fight, he'd dropped it and ran. Whatever was in this case, had to be very important. And it was, for when opened, I was momentarily blinded by a pure white light. It soared from the box in wisps until it dimmed and extinguished completely.

"What the hell was that?!" I fretted.

"It's a human soul," came a deep familiar voice behind us. I looked, not with shock that he'd popped up out of no where all of the sudden, but that my husband was eating a burger. He looked almost finished with it too," it's starting to make sense."

"What's starting to make sense?" Sam incredulously asked. How could a human soul piece all of this mess together?

Dean worried about his friend," and when did you start eating?"

It looked like a light went off for my angel," _exactly_ , my hunger—It's a clue actually," he took another bite from his burger.

"A clue for what?" My face contorted in confusion.

Castiel explained that," this town is not suffering from some love-gone-wrong effect. It's suffering from hunger. Starvation, to be exact-Specifically...famine." My jaw dropped. _Famine? Like the-four-horseman famine?_ Sam wondered the same as me and my husband confirmed. This was _thee_ famine. I let out a breath and ventured to the bathroom, needing a moment to myself. This was just great.

I heard their conversation through the door. Sammy wanted more clarification," I thought famine meant starvation, like as in, you know, _food_."

I heard Cas respond," yes. Absolutely. But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something-Sex, attention, drugs, love..."

I looked at myself in the mirror ' _a baby..._ ' I slowly lifted the hem of my shirt to expose the flesh of my stomach. It was disapprovingly flat, sporting no life what so ever. I ran a hand over the smooth skin, imagining what it would be like to be a mother—to have life blossoming inside of me. I couldn't wait to have that, and just knowing I would be gifted two of them—God only knows when, made me happy...but I wanted one _now_. I couldn't wait. But now really wasn't the time for a child. My mind spewed rational thoughts at me, yet my heart yearned to fuck it all and get pregnant right now. I fought a lump in my throat, my heart and my mind in two places.

I stepped out of the bathroom. Whatever they'd been talking about had seized and had Castiel finished his burger. He noticed my eyes downcast to the floor full of sadness. He set his fast-food bag on the table and came over to me, hands gently running up both my arms.

"Jul? Are you alright?" I saw the concern in his eyes. He rarely said my nickname, but when he did, it melted my heart.

My lip quivered, and I shook my head. I was aware of my brothers' eyes on me now, mirroring worry. Castiel tucked some bangs behind my ear," what's..." He paused for a second," I can feel your hunger...what do you want?" He sounded like he'd move literal heaven and earth to give it to me.

I finally met his eyes, his ocean eyes looked hurt to see me this conflicted,"...I want a baby," I whispered it so only he could hear. His wings dropped a bit, his eyes searched mine as he drew a blank. I continued," I know we shouldn't right now, but I just want one... _really_ _bad_." My eyes started to brim with I unshed tears.

"What does she want?" Dean asked seeing me in this state. Neither of us responded. Castiel only, sighed, pulled me to him and cradled the back of my head, resting his chin on top of it.

"A child," Cas answered loud enough for them to hear. My brothers went silent after that.

"I know you want one, darling, famine is only strengthening your desire. I'm so sorry," he whispered, rubbing my back softly," if I could give that to you right now, I would, but..." he thought for a moment," please my love, try to fight this urge until we can kill famine."

"I know. This feels so hard to do," I sniffled. Yes, it hurt like hell to withstand this craving I had, but I had to fight it. I trusted my angel with anything. My words were muffled in his chest," I love you, angel."

I could practically hear his smile," I love you, Julie. I promise-" he pulled back and tipped my chin to his face,"-when we return we will discuss it, alright?" I nodded, feeling content with that answer. When he pulled back my brother's looked at me with concerned, yet sad, eyes.

I blushed with the attention I was getting," what? I can't help it." Both Sam and Dean raised their hands in surrender.

"Not judgin'" Dean defended," just upset that we can't tell you want you want to hear."

* * *

Dean figured that the best way to stop famine is to cut the ring from his finger. The same method worked when he sliced the ring from War.

Cas had left to get another burger, I sat on the bed imagining motherhood. This entire time Sam had been in the bathroom, I was starting to worry.

To top this sundae off with a tart cherry, I've found out that Sam is hungry for demon blood. It's worth noting that cherries are my least favorite food—too many liquid medicines claimed to be cherry flavored, and, well: I've hated the red abomination ever since. Thus my reasoning for equating bad experiences to cherries.

Before Castiel and Dean left (they thought it best I stayed here. Guess they couldn't have me plucking babies from their mothers and taking them for my own) they locked Sam down in the bathroom. They even moved a dresser in front of the door.

I was web-surfing, yet more maternity photos, baby clothes, and even read an article about the "right position" for conception, when there was a knock on the door. I got up, a bad feeling in my stomach, I looked through the peep-hole to see two people standing there. Only, their eyes were black.

Panic set in my heart, I didn't have anything in the motel to kill a demon! I backed a away from the door just in time before they entered the room with...a key? How did they get a key?!

I yelped," Sammy, demons!" I backed away from them. Their eyes found me and they smiled contently.

The female looked me up and down," boss doesn't have you on the list, I guess it couldn't hurt to bring you in either—two souls are better than one, after all. She started to come after me," tell me if your angel friend feels this!"

She lunged for me and I skillfully ducked. I swerved out of her way and landed a punch to her face, knocking her back.

"Sammy! I don't have anything!" I called to him full of worry.

"Julie—the back window! Get out of here!" Sam yelled from the bathroom.

She held her jaw, her smirked," you've got quite the punch, maybe we should save your meat suit." Her partner started breaking down the wardrobe that blocked the bathroom door.

She looked even more hell-bent on killing me. My eyes went wide and I dashed for the window at the back. I threw it up and hoisted myself on my elbows. Just when I thought I was home free I felt her grab my ankles and slam me back to the ground. The air was knocked from my lungs.

"N-no, please!" I tried to push her off of me. Her hands clamped over my throat. Her happy eyes never changed. I clawed bloody scratches down her neck.

"Haha! You think that hurts me, slut?" She looked highly unfazed," well this vessel-maybe, but me? Now you're just annoying me." My arms were coated in her blood, chunks of her flesh caught under my nails. I saw dots swarm my vision. I tried to throw a weak punch to her throat, but before I could she clocked all light from my vision. It felt good to have found some peace.

* * *

 **Castiel POV**

It was like waking up out of a dream-er I've only dreamed once, and it the honeymoon of Julie and I. Speaking of my love, after the ring of Famine was taken, I felt normal again. Sam was here, but my Julie was not. He was supposed to be with her.

"Where is she?" I looked around hoping that maybe she would come out from behind her brother.

Sam looked at the ground ashamedly. My brows furrowed wondering what that meant. Surely she wasn't dead, I would have felt it. Before either of them could stop me I slammed my onyx wings to the ground and appeared back the motel room. I felt my heart skip a beat at the sight.

Julie was in the corner, she wasn't moving, and there was a copious amount of blood on her arms and plaid clothes. I stepped over the mess on the floor and knelt before my wife. I checked her vitals with my grace, she was unconscious, apart from that she was uninjured. I scooped her in my arms and stood. _I should've been here with her._

The door opening caught my attention. My brother-in-laws walked in and Dean took in the sight of his sister.

"Jesus," he came over and observed her in my arms," i-is she..." he couldn't say the rest.

"No," I quickly assured," just unconscious. This blood isn't hers."

He nodded and looked around," Sammy and I will clean up what we can, clean her up, then we're going to Bobby's." how could I forget? Sam tasted demon blood, he needs to detox—properly this time.

I headed for the bathroom without saying a word, dean stopped me," hey," I seized my steps and listened," it's not on you." Yet I couldn't help but feel that Julie was in this condition because I wasn't here. I sighed, needing to think on it. It felt good to know that Dean could tell that this was bothering me— when none of my angel brothers and sisters ever did that.

Julie had taught me how to use a bathtub on our honeymoon. Since then, I found showering and bathing felt refreshing... I gently set my wife beside the tub, placing I kiss to her temple, before I started the bath.

* * *

 _Special thanks to IsaBellaSwan1901 who helped me pick Julie's hunger. I'd be two chapters behind if it wasn't for you, hunbun!_


	38. Chapter 39

**Dark side of The Moon**

* * *

I stirred on the springy motel bed, feeling a little off. I rolled onto my back, my eyes peeking the room for only a second. What captured my gaze in an instant were the two uninvited men in the room. I sat up with wide eyes, Sam was already up and looking crestfallen.

These two men were wearing black ski masks over their faces, they pointed their shotguns at Sammy and I. My heart was racing, Dean was still asleep beside me.

After famine, Castiel, poofed off—after making sure I was okay, of course. He didn't really say where he went, but I knew I'd see him sooner or later. Even before I married Cas I almost always slept with one of my brothers, it's been like that since mom died.

I watched one of these men raise a finger to their masked lips indicating for me to be silent. However, my silence no longer matter because my movements had awoken Dean, beside me. He groggily looked us over.

"Mornin'," Dee told us, as if we weren't literally being held at gunpoint.

"Shut up." The tallest man ordered," hands were I can see 'em." Both Dean and I held our hands up to show we had no weapons on us.

Dean's next words made my stomach drop as he squinted at one of the captors," wait a minute... is that you, Roy? Shit, it is isn't it?" My brother looked to the other hunter," which makes you Walt." My brother smiled," hiya Walt." We knew these men: they were hunters, quite old friends of our dad even. Why would they be aiming at us?

At the recognition of them, both of them lifted their masks to reveal their faces. I supposed it didn't matter if we saw their faces, they planned on killing us anyway, it wouldn't be like that we could tell somebody. My hands started to grow sweaty, my anxiety shooting through the roof.

Walt spoke to Sam, his southern accent seeping through," you think you can flip the switch in the apocalypse and just walk away, Sam?" Wait they knew about the apocalypse too? How?

"Who told you that?" Sam wondered lowly.

"We ain't the only hunters after you," Walt bit. He pumped his shot gun suddenly making both Sammy and I flinch. _Oh God, this would be a wonderful time for my angel to swoop in and save the day. Where is he?_ "See you in the next life," he said, finger over the trigger. My blood kept running cold. I could hear my pulse in my ears.

Sam snapped his hands up in surrender," wait! I can explain, okay? Please." He begged. Dean and I looked to Walt anxiously.

There was a pause. The crack of his shotgun made me scream and jump. He fired two shots into the chest of my older brother. I clamped a hand over my mouth and went to aid Sammy along with Dean.

"Stay the hell down!" Roy aimed his weapon at us. I couldn't tear my eyes away from Sam's...lifeless, _dead_ body. My heart felt so painfully heavy. He wasn't moving—he had to be dead.

Sobs racked out of my chest," oh no...oh please no." I felt Dean's hand on my back but I couldn't look at him, I knew the look he'd be sporting. He was pissed.

"Shoot 'em!" Walt rushed, pointing his weapon at me. I finally looked at him with teary eyes.

"No!" I plead.

Roy was lowering his gun," killin' Sam was right...but Dean and Julie..." he shook his head, wanting to spare us," Walt, you know I ain't a lady killer."

Walt's response filled me with terror," he made us and we just snuffed their brother, you idiot. You want to spend the rest of your life knowing Julie and Dean Winchester are on your ass? 'cause I don't. Shoot 'em!" He encouraged. Roy looked sympathetic as a gun was aimed at Dean.

My brother spoke through his teeth, his breathing labored," go ahead, Roy, do it. But I'm going warn you, when I come back I'm gon' to be pissed."

Walt pumped his shot gun and pointed it at my chest. I shook my head, my whole body, shaking from fear.

"N-no please!" I cried, but the look in his eye only held determination, no hint of remorse. This wasn't supposed to be my fate—I wasn't ready to die yet: I have too much I wanted to say and do, but this man was focused. He is going to kill me. As a final desperate plea I cried,"Ca-" the sound of a shotgun booming met my ears and everything went black.

* * *

A warm wind caressed the skin of my face and exposed arms, the sound of music and crickets met my ears. With a small jolt my eyes opened I looked around, very much confused.

I was on the hood of the impala, the night sky filled my vision. I looked to my left and right seeing my brothers...but they were _different_. They were much younger versions of themselves, but I was me–present me, anyway. _This is a weird dream_ , I thought. I picked up the end of their conversation.

"Ah, what the hell, I'll buy us something good to eat in the morning," Dean started, not looking away from the view above," what do you think, Jul? Something with peaches sound good?"

It hit me. This was a memory of mine. This was one of those nights dad had left on a hunt, leaving Dean in charge. We couldn't afford a motel room so we parked in the middle of a field, watching the stars and lightening bugs flicker.

"I'd like that," I say weakly, remembering my own words from that night. The music from inside the car met my ears:

 _"Mamma take this badge from me,_

 _I can't use it anymore._ "

There was a moment of silence as we all stared up at the sky. Simultaneously we all witness a bright light shoot across the sky, making a few of us gasp.

"Make a wish Julie," Sam smiled.

I sighed, racking my brain for something, tears brimming my eyes at my own thought," ya know...I think I'm good." I had my brothers, my soulmate for a husband, maybe children in my future, what else could I possibly want? I watched the trees flash with tiny lights like a Christmas tree.

 _"It's gettin' dark too dark to see._

 _I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door."_

 _Heaven_ , I thought. That's the closest thing I could think of this place comparing to: _Heaven_.

"It's us against the world right?" I asked softly.

"Right," they both chorused making me giggle.

"You've always had a thing for stars," came a voice that I didn't recall being in this memory. I looked up, seeing my presently-aged-brother looking at me in wonderment.

My brows furrowed," Dean? What are you doing in my dream?"

His features softens and he looked to the grass then back to me," we're dead, princess."

It was like a light-bulb went off. The memories of my death came flooding back to me, the death of Sammy first, then I remember the bullets entering my flesh and flinging me back on the bed, where I lay stalk still. So now I am in heaven, or at least I hoped I was–this definitely didn't come across as hell to me. I hopped off of the impala in a rush, my breathing, irregular.

"Where's Sammy?" I worried.

"I don't know, Cas said all I had to do to find you was 'follow the road'," he shrugged, not fully understanding it himself.

"Cas? You talked to him?!" I desperately wanted to see him, to tell him I was okay.

Dean came forward and rested his hand atop my shoulders," calm down, princess, you need to breath: yes, I talked to him—he's a mess by the way, but we find Sam and then we're finding a way out of here."

I nodded, calming down. I looked back to the impala. Young Sam and Dean talked to something, me, even though I wasn't there.

"You think mom and dad are here?" I had to asked after a moment. I wanted to believe they were here and not in hell.

Dean draped an arm over my shoulders," I don't doubt it, Jul." he was most likely saying this for my benefit, but I accepted his assurance nonetheless. With a final glance at my favorite memory, we turned and headed for the other impala.

* * *

Sam's heaven had hurt me: he was having thanksgiving with another family. But I suppose I couldn't blame him, our thanksgivings with dad made us feel anything but thankful. Once we were all on the same page about heaven, a bright light appears in the room. It filtered in through windows, it was the brightest spotlight I've ever seen. We hid, I myself, ducked behind the couch. Just as it had come it had gone, the heavy vibrations left with it.

Not knowing what that was about, or how to even get out, we needed to look for Castiel.

Dean started smacking a radio and calling Cas's name, yet nothing happened. I stomped my foot, needing to speed this up," Castiel!" I called out into the room.

Suddenly a scratchy noise came from the one we were seeking," Julie, I can hear you!" we turned to see him on the old staticky television screen. His image morphed and glitches until he was able to even out.

I sprinted to the TV, placing my hands to it," oh angel!" I breathed a sigh of relief," I'm so sorry I died," I never thought I'd say that in a million years, but I meant it all the same: I had died and Castiel had felt it," are you okay?"

From his face in the TV I saw his expression turned grave," I—I'm...fairing." I supposed that's reasonable. I felt awful for not being able to go to him and give him comfort.

Dean spoke before I could make over my husband," so I found Julie and Sam but, but something just happened. There was this weird beam of light and—" Cas cut him off.

"–don't go into the light!" The angel warned.

Dean snickered," okay thanks, Carol Ann, what was it?"

"Not what, _whom_ –Zachariah," he answered. Oh, that was bad news. I wanted that angel dead more than words," he's searching for you."

"And if he finds us?" Sam wondered.

Castiel's voice changed from very deep and distorted to normal," You can't say yes to Michael and Lucifer if you're dead, so Zachariah needs to return you to your bodies."

Sam held his palms out, his eye brows raised," g-great! Problem solved!" The sooner I can return to Cas the better I'll feel.

Cas shook his head," No. You don't understand. You—hm. You're behind the Wall. This is a _rare_ opportunity."

My brows knitted," for what?"

"You need to find an angel. His name is Joshua," he answered. Dean was very quick to shoot him down, we wanted out, not to stick around! Cas confessed that he could no longer return to heaven, which made me feel bad for him. This _was_ his home.

"Rumor is: Joshua talkes to God," Castiel stated making me draw a blank. _If he talks to god, then what's he saying? Is God even in heaven?_

"So?" Dean countered. None of us were prepared for the angel to blow up.

"You think maybe—just maybe–we should find out what the _hell_ God has been saying?" He snapped. I've never heard him cuss before, but yikes, even dead it was doing things to me. This was not the time or place for this train of thought.

"Geez, touchy," Dean mumbled. Castiel said that all we had to do was follow the road and that it would lead us to "the Garden" where this Joshua-guy was. Before I could say goodbye his image faded and the TV turned off.

* * *

So apparently, roads can be found anywhere, be it outside, in the closet, or even a post card. These roads lead us to the different heavens that we had. I got to see mom care for Dean, I just wished I could've gotten to know her like he had. Sam's heaven were ones where he was by himself, there was no family involved, which also hurt. I hated myself for thinking it, but I couldn't blame him _again_ , we all wanted away from dad, it's only natural that his heaven is running away from him.

The road led us to a door on the side of the road. _Just_ a door. No building, no walls, only a door. We got out and I went up to it, something about it tugged a memory of mine, but I couldn't grasp it. There was a hotel room number at the top of the door, one I didn't recall, until I turned the knob.

Sam and Dean followed me as we entered the large room. This room...was very fancy, perhaps a little _too_ fancy. When I looked closer I could see flower petals all over the floor. A...large fort made from the bed sheets and chairs in the center of the room. Realizing what this was I turned to my brothers and attempted to shove them out.

"Umm how about we walk back out, huh? We don't need to see this," I nervously laughed.

"What is this place?" Wondered Sam who wasn't budging from my constant pushing.

I huffed an gave up," it's the honeymoon suite that Dean booked for Cas and I. Can we please–" I was cut off by a sound behind me. I looked back to see the top of the fort flow to the floor, Cas sprung up, his wings flared out dancing in a rhythmic pattern without music.

"Shit! He does have wings," Dean observed. I guess they finally saw him how I see him.

"That's what I've been trying to say! Now lets please get out of here!" I shoved harder, only pushing Sam back a foot.

"Wait–" Dean paused. We started to hear Castiel grunt and moan. My face heated up in embarrassment,"–okay yeah, let's get out of here."

"Thank you!" I pushed them out finally and slammed the door. They chuckled to each other from what they had discovered. Before we entered the impala a large spotlight landed over us. It was too bright, the voice of Zachariah whispered in my head. I felt Sam take my hand and we sprinted through the woods.

* * *

By some miracle we were able to escape Zachariah hunting us, thanks to Ash. I never thought I'd see that familiar mullet again, but alas, perhaps death is not truly the end.

His Heaven was the Roadhouse, it still smelled and looked the same. We'd opened some beers and chatted for a while. He's been looking for mom and dad, but so far: nothing. It was even a surprise to see Pamela once more before he had to leave for The Garden.

I prayed Zachariah gets a death most foul. He'd caught us and used a fake image of our mother to try and lure us to him. But fate, maybe even God, had other plans for us. A elderly, dark colored man appeared and sent Zachariah away with his authority. This angel's name, was _Joshua_.

He took us somewhere, a very large botanical garden to be exact. It looked familiar, but I couldn't place it. The sounds of a forest filled my ears. It was cool here as we followed Joshua down stone steps.

"This is...heaven's Garden?" Sam wondered and looked around.

Dee nodded in satisfaction," it's...it's nice...ish. I guess." I was thought this place was beautiful.

Joshua's voice sounded worn as he spoke," You see what you want to here. For some it's God's throne room; for others it's Eden. You three, I believe it's the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. You came here on a field trip." That's why it looked familiar, a light-bulb went off in my head.

"So you're Joshua," I acknowledged him.

He nods with a small smile," I _am_ Joshua."

"So you can talk to God," Sam asserted.

The look on the angel's face suggested that statement was a bit of a stretch," mostly, he talks to me." Okay, at least there's that, what was he saying?

Dean asked," where is he?"

"On Earth." That was vague.

"Doing what?" I asked.

"I don't know," he shrugged.

"I don't get it, God's not talking to no body...so...," my oldest brother trailed off.

"So why is he talking to me?" Joshua responded," I sometimes think it's because I can sympathize—gardener to gardener—and, between us, I think he gets lonely." That made me pity him, I wished there was more I could do.

Joshua's next words took us all aback," he has a message for you: _back off_. He knows already, everything you want to tell him."

"But..." he cut me off.

"-He knows what the angels are doing. He knows that the Apocalypse has begun. He just doesn't think that it's his problem," he explained.

My lips parted and my eyebrows creased at the center," not his _problem_?" Dean nodded along with that.

The angel explained further," God saved you already. He put you on that plane. He brought back Castiel. He granted you salvation in heaven-" he looked to Sam,"-and after everything you've done too. It's more than he's intervened in a long time. He's finished. Magic amulet or not, you won't be able to find him." I felt my hope diminish inside of me. This was our only chance, our only lead in months! And God just _left_ us.

Dean was stunned and hurt," but he can stop it, he can stop all of it!" Years ago I would never have thought Dean would allow God into his life.

"I suppose he could," Joshua bit," but he won't."

"Why not?" Sam worried.

"Why does he allow evil in the first place? You could drive yourself nuts asking questions like that," Joshua crossed his arms.

Dean shook his head, growing angry," Forget it. Just another dead-beat dad with a bunch of excuses, right? I'm used to that. I'll muddle through." When Dean shuts down, that's how we know he's emotional about something.

Joshua looked to him this time," except...you don't know if you can, this time. You can't kill the Devil, and you're losing faith, in yourself, your brother, and now this?" Dean looked to the floor. I didn't know he had been so desperate and depressed. I grabbed his large hand with my small one. He didn't return the gesture, but I didn't care: I still held onto him.

Sam clear his throat, digressing," how do we know you're telling the truth?"

Joshua looked perplexed," you think that I would lie about this? I'm rooting for you! I wish I could do more to help you, I do! But... I just trim the hedges." His face seemed more somber now. All four of us became quiet, mulling over this information.

"So what now?" I broke the silence.

Joshua perked up," You go home again. I'm afraid this time, won't be like the last. This time, God wants you," he lifted his hand," to remember." A bright light emitted from his hand and encompassed the room. When I opened my eyes again, I was still in the botanical garden.

"What's going on? I thought I was going back?" My heart started to race, I prayed I wasn't stuck here by myself.

"Relax, child," he came closer and rested a warm hand on my shoulder," God has a message for you."

I blinked," okay..." I was anxious to hear what he had to say.

"He says: get as far away from your brothers as you can, you will be much safer that way," Joshua relayed the message.

I scoffed," I'm sorry, I won't do that, they're my family—you don't bail on the ones you love. Why does God worry for my safety?"

He eyed me for a moment," even if it gets you killed?"

It was my turn to stare him down," especially then," I whispered.

Joshua sighed," you are God's favorite. Your role in the play causes him much grief."

"What do you mean? You mean Julianel? Why is she so important?" I fired question after question. I was getting tired of not having answers.

He smiled and calmly spoke," don't worry, young Julie, you will have your answers– _in time_. Please, heed the Lord's message." There was no way in hell I was going to do that. Suddenly he smiled wider," I like your spirit, girl." He raised the hand on my shoulder to my forehead and everything went black.

* * *

I sprung up with the largest intake of air I've ever taken. I grabbed onto the only thing I could to ground myself. Upon closer inspection, it was a handful of trench coat," oh thank God," I breathed and collapsed to his chest.

I felt him pull me tighter to him," I thought you were gone, my love," he rocked us back and forth on the floor," I was so worried, you didn't wake up like your brothers." I pulled back to look at his face, his eyes welled with unshed tears.

"I'm so sorry, Cas, I hate seeing you hurt," I used a hand to cup his prickly cheek. He leaned into my touch.

"I hate to break things up, princess, but why _did_ you take so long?" Dean asked. Castiel uncurled from around me so I could see my brother. I didn't know how long I was out, but it was long enough for him and Sam to change clothes. No doubt my own clothes were holed and bloody.

I wasn't going to hide anything from them, when had that ever done anybody, any good?" Joshua said God had a message for me."

"What was it?" Sam asked, sitting on the bed.

"God wants me to get as far away from you two as possible," I looked between them," that I'd be safer that way."

Castiel mumbled quickly," I don't disagree with that." I gave him a pointed look.

"What did you tell him?" Sam wondered again.

I smiled," I told him he could go fuck a donkey," I earned a smile and chuckle from Dee," I'm never quitting on you boys." I shrugged a shoulder," Joshua liked my spirit."

"Well, you are full of it," Dean smirked an zipped his duffle," go get washed up, Jul, we'll fill Feathers in." I nodded. I kissed Castiel's nose before I got up and headed for the bathroom. There were bloody entry holes on my shirt, but no wounds to prove I'd been shot.

When I came out of the bathroom, I saw Castiel leaning on a decorative wall with his back to us. He looked down to the floor. I supposed they just finished telling him God was gone.

"Maybe..." his voice was weak,"maybe Joshua was lying." I hated seeing him upset. I knew the feeling he was going through, what it felt to have your dad ditch you.

"I don't think he was Cas, I'm sorry," Sam answered before I could. The angel's wings twitched, tightened like a fist, and then dropped. He walked to the door, I went up behind him.

His head and eyes looked up—up, towards heaven," You son of a bitch. I believed in..." he trailed off in thought. My heart was breaking for him. He waited in silence for something, anything, but nothing happened. He sighed and turned to us.

"I don't need this anymore," he tossed Dean the amulet that would no longer work to find God," it's worthless." That made a lump for in my throat.

"Cas, hey," he came to me and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"I'll be...in touch," he softly told me.

"Wait—" but his flapping wings were the only thing to be heard. I looked down at my hands, saddened deeply.

I heard someone walking in the room and throw a shirt on the bed. Sam spoke with determination," we'll find another way. We can still stop all of this." I turned to look at him now, wanting to share his hope.

"How?" Dean countered.

Sam shrugged," I don't know, but we'll find it. You, Julie, and me—we'll find it." He liked back and forth between us.

I sighed," I guess they don't call it hope for nothing, do they? I'm in." Sam smiled at me. I needed to have a goal, or else I'd be lost.

Dean however, looks like he doesn't believe him, Sam knows this. Dean only picks up his bag and goes to the door, dangling the amulet with the hummingbird charm over the garbage can. And he dropped it in.


	39. Chapter 40

**Point of No Return**

 **A/N:** This chapter is a big big moment in Julie and Cas's lives!

 **Song** : River by _Leon Bridges_

 _~Enjoy!_

* * *

I stood in my knee-high, knitted socks as I cooked breakfast, trying to forget about the most recent events. The music from the portable Panasonic radio, played on the counter beside me while I worked, taking me to another place entirely.

More omens had arisen in prelude to the impending apocalypse: the Whore of Babylon spread false profit and could have only been killed by a true servant of heaven. Castiel had helped us on that case and made it very clear that none of us qualified...and yet... _Dean_ had killed the Whore. Sammy and I were terrified at what that meant: what was Dean thinking or doing to make him worthy enough to kill her? We silently agreed that we thought he was going to say yes to Michael, he was running out of hope and that would be the most plausible answer for him.

Our fears skyrocketed after the case, Dean drove off and we haven't been able to get ahold of him since. It's been two weeks and we've all worked like mad to find him, so far: nothing. I prayed he didn't say yes. Currently, Sam was out now looking for him. It was just Cas, Bobby, and I at Bobby's place.

A song came on the radio pulling me from my thoughts. I swayed a bit, singing softly," _been traveling these wide roads, for so long._

 _My heart's been far, from you_

 _Ten-thousand miles gone."_

 _"Oh, I wanna come near and give ya_

 _Every part of me,_

 _But there's blood on my hands_

 _And my lips are unclean_ ," I felt someone drop their chin on my left shoulder. Their warm breath fanning my neck and tickling the golden hairs. I felt his hands wrap around me and hug me to him.

"I love hearing you sing," my husband cooed. I blushed. He watched me from over my shoulder as I prepared the food.

"Thanks, darling," I sighed and I flipped another sizzling piece of bacon and then checked on the eggs," do you wanna learn how to cook?" I mused with a content smile.

"Yes," his answer surprised me, but I was in no way opposed. _Maybe the angel could cook for me after a few lessons._

"Really?" I turned to him, a bright smile on my face. He had shed his two coats and walked around the home in his white dress shirt and navy-blue tie.

A smirk was shared on his face," food makes humans happy and I want to see my human, happy," he responded. My heart swelled a bit when he called me 'his human'. I nibbled my lip and turned back to the stove.

"I feel like I'm watching a damn chick-flick," Bobby's voice rang from the table. He read his morning paper in his wheel-chair. I rolled my eyes and shot some smart remark back at him. Castiel returned his hold around me as I spit out some how to's and pointers.

I flipped the popping bacon in its own grease once more. I told him the proper way to cook it and that flipping it routinely was key so that it was perfect on either side. The aroma wafted from the pan and overwhelmed my senses. I experimentally swirled my spatula in the bubbling grease, a feeling coming over me.

"The key to making good bacon is..." my words stopped short as I peered into the sizzling pan. My eye brows creased as the feeling started to churn in my stomach," is..." with another intake of breath, I fought an unexpected gag. I looked away, not bearing the sight.

"Julie?" Cas worried, looking me over," are you-" he stopped short when I untangled his arms around me and broke away.

"Bobby watch the food!" I snapped and sprinted down the hall to the downstair's bathroom. I flung open the door and collapsed by the toilet, heaving last night's Chinese food out of my stomach. I gasped for breath and held onto the seat.

I felt a hand pull the hair away from my face. They were warm and brought a lovely thingy feeling. However, the pleasant tingles were the furthest thing from my mind.

I panted," Oh Cas, I'm sorry you have to see me like this," I hovered over the bowel. _I don't know what's come over me_ ," I don't know why I'm doing this." I panted a bit more and heaved again.

I felt him rub my back," you have nothing to apologize for, Julie. Just..."this was his first time dealing with his sort of thing," just breath." And that's what I did. I focused on his voice and the back rub letting it overpower the nausea. I was finally able to flush and pull back. I stood up brushed my teeth, Cas staying by my side. Not wanting to risk the smell of the abomination in the kitchen, I went back up to my room.

I sat on the bed, holding a hand to my forehead," I can't believe I did that."

"You do need to eat something, love," Castiel sat on the bed beside me, looking worried.

I waved a dismissing hand and groaned in disgust," I'll eat when the room stops spinning. I think it's the take-out from last night."

He shook his head," no, it wasn't the Chinese food," he looked puzzled. His gaze shifted around the room, in thought.

"How do you know?" I squinted at him and moved a piece of my hair under my nose to smell it rather than the lingering bacon stench. How could he know? No one knows when they're about to get food poisoning.

His ocean eyes locked with mine," I wouldn't let you eat something I knew would harm you. The Chinese food harbored no impurities," he answered. Oh, I guess he _did_ know when something was tainted. The room had stopped spinning and I was more curious than anything.

I racked my brain, there had to be a reason, "Hmm, then what could-" I cut myself off, hatching a thought. A thought that rendered me speechless. _Babies_. I shared my thought with him as we made eye contact.

His eyes went wide," lay back." I didn't question it. I laid on the bed and waited. Castiel used a hand to hover over my body, inches from my flesh. He started at my head and glided his hand lower and lower, never touching my skin. He looked like he was reading something I couldn't see. When he reached the area of import, he paused. So did my breathing.

His lips parted, his hand, frozen in movement, hovering over my clothed stomach. My anxiety couldn't take it any more, he was silent for a good minute.

"Cas?" He didn't move," sweetie? What is it?" My heart started to race, not knowing what he'd found.

"It's..." he swallowed and spoke weakly," it's heartbeats." He finally met my stunned eyes.

" _Heartbeats_?" I repeated.

"Yes," he replied.

We stared at each other, blinking, not daring to move, or speak, giddy smirks appeared on our faces," y-you mean like...heartbeats- _heartbeats_?" A little scared to say the actual word out loud.

He nodded with a repressed smile, biting his lip to control himself," Julie, my love, you are with our children." He asserted.

I broke the act, letting out a happy laugh. I sprung myself forward and latched onto my husband, his wings curled delicately around us. I couldn't stop laughing. I heard him sharing my laughter as we held onto each other," I'm pregnant!" I giggled into his shirt," and with twins!" He held me to him very carefully, yet I could tell he was beyond excited, maybe he just didn't know how to express it.

We pulled apart and I took my bottom lip between my teeth, not really knowing what to think, or do. I lifted my shirt and we both peered down at the still flat stomach of mine. It was about to get so much bigger.

I looked to my angel happily," I love you." Was what didn't stop running through my head, so why not say it? I closed the distance and kissed him. He immediately responded, we pulled apart after a moment, leaving me a panting mess.

He gazed into my eyes, finding my soul in them, and vice versa," I love you more," he smiled softly. I felt his wing tips brush my back and fan the air gently. His feathers were ruffled and more poofy than I've ever seen them, letting me know just how happy he was.

I snuggled into his chest and breathed his minty scent," I want to go to the hospital and get pictures of them. Will you come with me? It's-er—somewhat of a human thing..."suddenly I felt insecure.

He raked his soft fingers through my yellow locks lovingly," of course I'll go, Julie."

I giggled," let's not tell Bobby or Sammy just yet, I want to surprise 'em."

"I agree, this is very special," he agreed with me. I don't think I could ever feel as happy as I was in this moment.

* * *

The hospital appointment the next day went...semi-smoothly. Every time the doctor went to put the gel on me or run a test, Castiel was ready to tackle him. I realized that me being pregnant just gave Castiel's protective-ness a whole new definition, but I couldn't complain all that much, my babies would be safe, and safe is how I wanted them. By the end of it, we left with four copies of the best ultrasound photo, a film roll of all of the pictures, and the entire hospital staff terrified of Cas.

During the ultrasound I had a hard time tearing my gaze from the screen. The faint little heartbeats rang like tiny trains in my ears. The babies were the size of an apple-seed and not much else. I was very lucky to be a hunter and experience having children. What did I do to deserve this gift?

We agreed that we'd tell at least Bobby, but Sam would have to wait until we saw him again and the right moment. I didn't want to catch Sam in a bad mood. We came back to Bobby's house and entered the living room where Bobby sat in his wheel-chair watching the news.

He looked confused," where's the groceries?" That was our lie to get out of the house together.

I bounced in my feet and looked down, with a sheepish smile," uhh, we didn't go to the store, Bobby."

Now his brows furrowed and he frowned," then where the hell did ya go?" I looked to Castiel who handed me one of the pictures. I took it and walked up to Bobby, kneeling beside his chair.

"We went to the hospital," I spoke slowly so this would sink in.

"What for?" Bobby worried.

"This," I passed him the photo of the ultrasound. He looked at it in his hands for a moment, looking like he almost didn't know what it was. Slowly I saw him shake his head, a tiny smirk on his face. He said nothing, only stared," do you know what this is?" I wondered.

He nodded.

"Okay well," I pointed to the picture," this black mass is where the baby is," his eyes followed my finger. I dropped the bomb," and _this_ is the other baby," and I pointed to it the second black mass. Bobby's head snapped to look at me.

I smiled brightly.

"Julianne Beth Winchester," Bobby's voice choked up," are you kiddin' me?" I laughed and shook my head no. We carried on until he came to terms with it. Bobby was ecstatic to be able to keep the picture for himself. He agreed to not tell Sam or Dean, until we were ready.

We'd finally calmed down and chatted about everything and nothing in the living room. Cas and I had so many things to talk about in the next couple of months, but it'll all work itself out, I'm not even letting my fate hinder this amount of happiness.

I sat on the couch with Cas, my legs draped over his lap when my phone rang, the caller ID showed Sam's name, I answered," hey Sammy you're on speaker."

"Julie! I found Dean," my heart dropped and I shared a look with Cas," but he's about to do something stupid."

"Not Micheal stupid is it?" I fretted. This was not how I planed this day to turn.

"Yeah. I need help," Sammy plead. Before I could respond, my husband, did.

"Where are you, Sam? I will be there," my angel assisted him. I prayed to any God that would listen, to keep Castiel safe. Sam told him the address and with a good flap of his wings, he was gone.

* * *

When the three of them came back, both Sam and Cas had a fire in their eyes, yet Dean looked annoyed. I wondered what brought this on as I went up to Cas who leaned against the wall," what happened?"

Castiel crossed his arms and glared daggers at the oldest Winchester," he was going to say yes."

I gaped at my brother," Dean fucking Winchester, tell me that's not true."

He shrugged,"You know, eight months of turned pages and screwed pooches, and we haven't stopped anything for shit!"

"You ain't helpin'," Bobby scolded Dean plus trying to take the heat off of me.

"Yeah, well why don't you let me out of your hair then," he snapped.

I curled my lip and heavily rolled my eyes. I stayed rooted beside Castiel, or else I'd walk my pregnant ass right up there and slap that thought out of my brother's head. I leaned onto the door frame, beside my husband.

"What the hell happened to you?" Bobby questioned with disappointment. Dean had changed and not entirely for the better. Saying yes to our roles was not an option.

Dean paced the floor of the living room," Reality happened. Nuclear's the only option we have left. Michael can ice the devil, and save a boatload of people."

"But not _all_ of them. We can think of something else," I stated. Did I have to remind him that I was sort of doomed to die during this dust-up? And not just me, his nieces, or nephews, or niece and nephew.

Dean's voice rose, heightening my anxiety," if Lucifer burns this fucker down, and I coulda done something about it? Guess what? That's on me." He pointed to himself. I felt my angel nudge me a bit, sensing me distress. I could tell what he was probably thinking 'this energy wasn't good for me and the babies and that I should probably go upstairs', but I wasn't going anywhere.

"You can't give up, son," Bobby softened.

My brother squinted and stared down our surrogate," you're not my father," he shook his head," and you certainly ain't in my shoes."

Before I knew it, Bobby was pulling out a gun and single bullet from his desk and shouting at Dean. I flinched when it reached its peak and looked to the floor. Dean went silent at that.

I took my chance. If he needing anything worth living for, I was about to give it to him," Dean, _none_ of what we do is in vain." I walked forward and opened Castiel's trench coat, pulling out the last two photos of the ultrasound from his inside pocket.

"Are you sure?" My soulmate whispered. I nodded and walked to Dean. I placed the photo in his hands then went to Sam and gave him his picture.

I looked to Dee," you want a reason to keep going? A _reason_ to keep protecting the world and all people? I can give you two, and they're in that picture."

Both of them were silent as they as they observed the photo. Sam was the first to speak," Jul...a-are you having twins?" He looked thunderstruck.

I nodded," this isn't how I wanted to tell you both, but I think it's what you need to hear". I looked between my brothers," we can still give them a better life, a healthy planet to live on, but playing this by role is not how we get it."

I watched Dean's lips quiver, he never looked away from the picture. I could tell that some part of learning of my pregnancy had hit him where I'd meant it to, I just hoped it was enough.

* * *

I never thought I'd see him again. _Adam Milligan_ was somehow faced with us once more, no doubt the angels were behind it. This Adam, our brother, was human, and alive, there was nothing ghoulish about him. Castiel theorized that the angels were likely moving on from Dean, and Adam was the half brother to Dean and Sam, offspring of John Winchester. Thus, the prophecy still fit.

To make sure Dean didn't try anything foolish, Sam locked him up in the panic room. Since Sam had learned of my pregnancy he couldn't hide the giddy-ness he felt. While Dean was locked up we spent some time talking and gushing over the two new family members. Sam was just like Cas in being protective of me: he didn't want me even leaving the house!

Night came and I went to bed alone. With Adam and Dean needing to be watched, Castiel had to lend a hand. He came to me and apologized, wanting to spend time with me rather than keep an eye on his brother-in-law.

I woke up feeling very nauseous, but I muddled through it. I finally came down stairs to see how everyone was holding up. The house was quiet though...too quiet.

I found Bobby at the dining table," morning Bobs, where is everyone?" I leaned against the countertop.

"You don't look so good, darlin'," he quickly noted. He almost sounded as if he was changing the subject.

"Relax, I'm just pregnant. I feel better than I look. Where are they, Bobby?" I hadn't seen Sam, hadn't talked to Cas, or seen Adam walking around. This house should be teeming.

He sighed," last night, Adam vanished–and I don't mean ran away–he disappeared before my eyes. Your brother, Dean, tricked Cas and banished him to God-knows-where, and Sam went after him," he explained.

I blinked at him," Dean...banished my husband?"

He nodded slowly.

I clucked my tongue," if they're not back in three hours, I'm going out there myself." It wasn't up for discussion and just because I was carrying, did not mean I couldn't protect myself or do a simple job.

Two and a half hours later all three of the boys showed up, Sam being first and unable to find Dean. Cas had flew in, sending paper flying all over the room, a bloody Dean slung around his shoulders. If he hadn't socked him first, I'd have tore into Dean myself.

Castiel thinks the angels took Adam to the Angel Room where they took Dean and I before. To ensure Dean wouldn't be escape, they locked him back in the panic room...chained to the bed.

Cas closed the panic room door before turning to Sam and I," he should wake up in an hour or two," he informed us.

Sammy nodded," that'll give us some time to make a plan," he looked between me and Cas," see you upstairs." And he left, leaving my angel and I to ourselves.

"I want to help," I blurted when Sam closed the door.

"No," he quickly shot me down.

"I knew you were gonna say that," I looked to the floor," is it because I'm pregnant? Because if that's going to be an issue..." I trailed off.

I heard him exhale deeply and shuffle toward me. He wrapped his arms around me and held my head to his chest, resting his cheek on my hair," you're right, I just...don't want anything to happen to you. It's not my place to decide when you should protect your family, I'm sorry."

I chuckled," it's alright, angel, I know you mean well." I closed my eyes and snuggled into him," I missed you this morning." I played with the downy feathers on his wings.

"Yes, your brother is smart, sometimes-for what it's worth," he responded and we both chuckled. After a moment I felt a warm hand of his slip under my shirt and rest on my stomach. I pulled back to look up at him. "How do you feel?" He asked, searching my blue orbs.

I smiled," well I didn't get sick this morning, but I sure as hell felt like it. Other than that, I'm taking my vitamins and all is well," I assured him warmly.

He smirked and rubbed the smooth skin of my stomach with his thumb, looking down at his hand," I'm not sure what's going to happen in the next six hours...but I would like for you to know that I love you and them-" he splayed his hand over my stomach fully"- more than _anything_." He finally met my eyes with such sincerity," you've realized by now that not even death can stop me from getting to you."

My brows furrowed," Castiel, don't talk like that, you're not dying while I can help it."

He nodded, cupped my face with the hand that had once rest on my stomach and pulled me in for a kiss. He pulled away too soon," _whatever_ happens, we _will_ see each other again." I didn't exactly know what he was getting at, or if there was some plan in the works that I had no knowledge of, whatever it was, I believed him, and I trusted in him with my life...er... _our_ lives.

* * *

 **A/N** : _I don't know, how was it? Penny for your thoughts?_

 _and holy shit balls I just realized I have two more episodes left to write, and then I have to write the epilogue...then it's over...It'll be complete..._ (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) (ಥ﹏ಥ)


	40. Chapter 41

**Two Minutes to Midnight**

 **A/N:** These chapters are about to get painful. Buckle up. There _is_ a happy ending, and hopefully all of your questions are answered.

 _~Enjoy!_

* * *

I sat at the dining table, my hand gently rubbing over the smallest bump that was forming over my belly. I listened to Sam and Dean bicker about Sam's newest idea. I had to admit, his idea sounded reckless and poorly thought through. He wanted to say yes to Lucifer then jump in the hole.

The hole. There was a bit of new information that we discovered over the last couple of weeks, thanks to Gabriel. Much to my dismay, the archangel was killed by Lucifer, we were lucky that we had escaped, but Gabriel had thought everything through. To get Lucifer back in the cage, we needed the rings of the four horsemen. We've already managed snag two, we just need two more. It's easier said than done, but it's the only lead we've got.

Since the Angel Room, Adam had vanished for good, our fear being that Micheal now used him as a vessel. To put a cherry on it, no one knows where my husband went. The boys said he banished himself and other angels to save their skins. I knew he wasn't dead, but it ached to not have him near.

To find the next ring that belonged to Pestilence, Crowley had given us his aid. I didn't particularly trust the demon, but he's given me no reason to not trust him yet. Thanks to him, we had an idea of the next horseman's whereabouts.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"Dean rebuked to Sam in the kitchen. I watched their exchanges.

"Dean—" Sammy was cut off.

"No, don't " _Dean_ " me. I mean, you - you have had some stupid ideas in the past, But this—" Bobby suddenly wheeled into the room and Dean requested his council," d-did you know about this?"

"What?" Bobby countered, parking himself in the doorway.

Dean raged," About Sam's genius plan to cram the devil down his throat?" We watched Bobby eagerly. To which he slowly nodded a yes," oh? Well, thanks for the heads up!" Dee shouted prompting me to look to the floor.

"Hey, this ain't about me," Bobby stated, then added," you raise your goddamn voice one more time around Julie, and so help me, I will kick you out, boy."

"It's fine, Bobby," I defended myself. I didn't want to be babied, plus I've always had an issue with raised voices, this wasn't that big of a deal.

Dean took a deep breath, closed his eyes and looked to me," no, it's not: I'm sorry, Juls, you don't need to be around this."

I rolled my eyes," oh please, Dee, you're my family, I'm suppose to be here for you both. Besides, I don't know what else I'd be doing."

"What about picking the babies' names?" Dean offered.

I glared at him and spoke through my teeth," not without Cas." They think he's dead, but I feel otherwise. To break the moment, my phone started to ring, I read the ID and gasped, throwing open the phone and answering," Cas?!"

"Julie," he greeted weakly. The boys looked to me with wide-eyes. My eyes closed in relief and my head tipped back.

Sam worried," Cas? Is he okay?"

"Cas, I haven't heard from you in weeks, where the hell are you?" I tried to fight a lump. I know it's not his fault, but I'm scared about the fucking end-of-the-world and pregnant, him being missing did nothing for my nerves.

"I'm so sorry, darling. I'm at a hospital," he replied flatly.

"A hospital?" I repeated looking between my brothers and Bobby," a-are you okay?"

"No," he simply said.

I waited for an answer, yet received none," sweetheart, do you wanna elaborate?" I couldn't take the looks my brothers were giving me," here–you're on speaker."

"I just woke up here. The doctors were fairly surprised. They thought I was brain-dead. Apparently, after Van Nuys, I suddenly appeared, bloody and unconscious, on a shrimping boat off Delacroix. I'm told it upset the sailors," my angel explained.

Dean shifted his weight,"Uh, well, I got to tell you, man - You're just in time. We figured out a way to pop Satan's box."

I heard my husband groan, breaking my heart," how?"

Dean shook his head," It's a long story, but, look -we're going after Pestilence now. So if you want to zap on over here..." he trailed off.

I heard Castiel sigh," I can't ' _zap_ ' anywhere."

"What do you mean?" I wondered slowly, not liking the sound of that.

"You could say my batteries are - are drained," he grunted again," I am thirsty and my head aches. I have a bug bite that itches no matter how much I scratch it, and I'm saying that I'm just incredibly..." he couldn't find the word.

"Human," I finished," welcome to the club," I chuckled.

"Thank you," he chuckled lightly too, "my point is - I can't go anywhere without money for...an airplane ride. And food. And more pain medication, ideally." I closed my eyes wishing I could do more for him and feeling miserable that I couldn't be with him.

"Look, no worries, angel, Bobby's here, he'll will wire you the cash," I promised him.

I heard Bobby's voice ring," I will?" I sent him a look, if he wanted to live another day, he will! Castiel formally apologized to Dean for being able to say 'no' to Micheal. Even though Dee looked a little weirded by the apology, I could tell it meant a lot to him.

* * *

I dreaded going to kill Pestilence with my brothers, without Cas. Last I heard, he was leaving the hospital and he was on the first plane home, I just prayed he got here in time, after all, he _was_ human.

Night had fallen now as we scoped out the convalescent home. So far, there was no sign of Pestilence anywhere.

I sighed," I'm hungry."

"You just ate the last sandwich we packed, Jul," Sam noted looking through his binoculars.

I pouted," that's not fair, I'm eating for three; I'm starving,"

"Tell you what princess, if this place is a bust, I'll getcha whatever you're cravin' for," Dean compromised. I turned that over in my head.

"Deal."

Before we decided to give up, Dean wanted to watch the security cameras. He and Sam went inside, thinking it best if I stay in the car, and I agreed with them: if Pestilence was in there, I didn't want him around the babies.

I'd fallen asleep in the backseat after some time. The buzz of my phone alerted me to wake up and read it. A message from Sam:

 **Got him. Room 210. Stay in the car.**

Sheesh, even if I wanted to help, they took extra precaution and locked me in. I sighed, growing anxious. Anything can be happening in there and I was powerless to stop it.

Movement from the road ahead caught my eye. A bus pulled up and let off a passenger. A...passenger I recognized.

"C-Cas!" I called, but he couldn't hear me," Castiel!" I tried again, but to no avail. I watched him walk into the home, trench coat flapping at his calves while he moved. At last he entered the building, disappearing from my view. I hit the seat with my hand. I exhaled weakly, this stress really wasn't good for me. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, at least I wasn't totally alone.

An hour passed until I saw three forms exit the building together. One man was tall, the next was shorter with blond hair, then there was a man clad in a trench coat. I exhaled in relief. Once Dean was close enough I heard the doors unlock and I bolted out, straight for my husband. Thankfully, he caught me as I latched onto his front. He held me tight, never letting go.

"Don't you ever fucking banish yourself again! Do you hear me, Castiel Winchester? Never again!" He carefully dropped me to looked into my eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Julie, I had to do it. It saved your brothers," Castiel knew my brothers were my weak spot, but he wasn't wrong.

"You're right, I just...you scared the hell out of me," I admitted, choking up. I haven't seen him in weeks. Sam and Dean saw their moment to go back to the car. Something must've gone down inside, fore they had blood stains around their mouths and on their clothes. I hugged him lighter this time, showing him how much I missed him, he returned the hug gratefully.

I kept to myself on the ride back to Bobby's about Castiel's wings. They were shriveled and pitiful looking. Later, I would try to preen them, just to lift his spirits about the whole human-thing.

I quietly took my husband's hand and slid it over to my bumped-belly. Everyone was silent in the car.

Castiel looked to me in surprise," they've grown," a smirk played on his lips.

I smiled when he experimentally ran his hands over the bump and massaged it gently," two more months and we can determine the genders," I rested my head on his shoulder and held his hand that rested over the bump," doctor says they're fraternal."

"I love them already," he announced lowly.

I felt sleep tugging me away," we all do. I can already tell they're..going t-to be... perfect."

Cas adjusted himself so that I could lay on him more," sleep, my Julie, you need all the rest you can get."

* * *

I sat on the couch at Bobby's, hair in a bun, fighting nausea as I wrapped up in a lush quilt. It seemed like I was on eleven-trillion different prenatal pills and vitamins, it was hard to tell if the pills made me sick or the twins. Sam and Dean just finished telling their story of Pestilence. Sounds like they had loads of fun. I'm just glad they made off with the ring.

Castiel placed a steaming cup of peppermint tea in my hands to help with the upset stomach. I kissed his jaw and he went over to the desk, opposite the couch and leaned against it. I noticed his mood shift since he was deemed a human. He was more...patient; more melancholic.

Sam spoke," last thing Pestilence said: it's too late'."

"That's pretty vague–he get specific?" I wondered.

"No," Dean started," we're just a little freaked out that he may have left a bomb somewhere." That wasn't good. Dee looked to our surrogate father," so please, tell us you have some actual good news."

Bobby thought for a second," Chicago's about to be wiped off the map. Storm of the millennium," he kept going, when I didn't want to hear more," sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three-million people are gonna die." I felt my stomach roll and I groaned. _How was that good news?_

Everyone shared my thoughts," I don't understand your definition of good news," Castiel stated. My angel's naïveté made me feel a little better.

Bobby explained slowly,"Well...Death, the horseman - he's gonna be there. And if we can stop him before he kick-starts this storm—get his ring back -" my brother Dean interrupted him.

" _Yeah_ , you make it sound so easy," he said.

"Hell, I'm just trying to put a spin on it," Bobby defended from the other side of the desk.

I took a sip of my tea before wondering," Bobby, we've been pulling at loose ends for months, how did you find out about Death all of the sudden?"

He looked put-on-the-spot," oh...well, you know... I-I had...help." What the hell did that mean?

Suddenly, a sound from the kitchen drew our attention. Clacking glasses and a Scottish voice filled the air. I didn't need to see who it was by this point when he came into view: Crowley, King of the Crossroads.

Crowley swaggered around, sniffing a glass of whiskey, then discarding it," Don't be so modest. I barely helped at all," he greeted the men,"Hello, boys. Pleasure, et cetera-" he looked to me"- ah, Julie, always lovely to see your face—a-and your practically glowing. Pregnancy looks good on you."

Castiel glared at the demon," watch your mouth."

Crowley held up his hands in surrender," it was only a compliment—get your bloomers out of a twist, would ya?" The demon nodded toward Bobby," Go ahead. Tell them. There's no shame in it."

Our heads snapped back to Bobby who looked very nervous. What was it we needed to know, exactly?

"Bobby?" Sam started," tell us _what?_ " His voice was urgent and leaving no room for games.

I watched my surrogate shift and shrug," world's gonna end...seems stupid to get all precious over one little soul..." my jaw dropped as I gaped a Bobby.

"You sold your _soul_?!" I inquired.

"Oh more like pawned it, I fully intend to give it back," Crowley explained.

"Well then give it back!" Dee ordered.

"I will!" Crowley bit.

" _Now_!"

Sam's sudden question threw us off," did you kiss him?"

"Sam–" Dean whined.

"–just wondering." We all turned our heads back to Bobby. He looked like we'd just grown a third eye.

After a second he spoke, his voice a little more high pitch than usual," no!" Yet, Crowley had a picture on his phone that proved he just lied. Bobby actually kissed Crowley...I mean that was how deals worked, but still...I didn't think Bobby would go through with it.

We discovered that Crowley is keeping the soul for insurance. Come to think of it, the demon was actually pretty smart. He knows we wouldn't kill him as long as he kept Bobby's soul.

"I'll return it," Crowley began," _after_ all of this is over and I can walk safely away, do we all understand each other?" He looked to all of us. No one liked it, but we had to play this his way.

* * *

Pestilence was on the move and he didn't stop at spreading swine flu. The ultimate way to spread disease was the Croatian virus, the vaccine for the outbreak. This vaccine would be distributed country-wide unless we could stop it. So that's what we set out to do.

I carried a duffle bag to the van, a hand on my stomach. I already felt out of breath from walking from upstairs to outside. I saw Cas standing beside me, looking upset. My brows knitted.

Bobby noticed," what's your problem?"

"This is what they mean by the ' 11th hour', right?" Cas asked back.

"Pretty much," Bobby nodded.

"Well it's the eleventh-hour and I am _useless._ How am I supposed to protect my pregnant wife when all I have is-" he waved the sawed-off shotgun he held,"- _this_. What am I even supposed to do with it?" I could understand that he felt powerless without his angel-juice. He wanted to do more to keep us safe.

"Point it and shoot," Bobby instructed vaguely.

Cas shook his head," what I used to me—" Bobby stopped him.

He wheeled over and looked at him with fire in his eyes," you're really gonna bitch—to _me?_ " Castiel lost his grace, Bobby lost his legs, both meaning so much to each of them," quit pinning for the varsity years and load the damn truck-" he tossed a duffel of ammunition at my husband, he caught it with a huff.

We finished loading and stopped to chat with Dean and Crowley. Bobby, Sam, Cas and I would go to stop the production and distribution of the vaccine, Dean would go and...kill Death.

"Alright, well," Dean shuffled his feet and pocketed his hands," good luck stopping the zombie apocalypse." He looked all of us over.

Sam nodded," good luck killing Death." That sentence just sounded bad, there's no way this could end good. Sam realized how that sounded," remember when we used to just hunt...wendigos? How simple things were?"

Dee scoffed," not really."

"Since when have we Winchesters ever had it simple?" I quizzed with a grin.

Sam smiled back," simple's just not for us, is it?" I thought deeply about his words in my head. Just because we were Winchesters, we weren't deserving of something better? What did that mean for the babies? I felt someone rest a hand on my back. _Cas_. I leaned into him, happy to have him with me.

Before we officially set off, Crowley surprised all of us by giving Dean a special scythe; he said it could kill reapers, demons, angels, even rumored to kill Death itself. But...Crowley didn't stop there: he gave Bobby his legs back making the demon more than alright in my book.

The seats in Bobby's van were slim pickin's. Bobby drove, Sam sat passenger, and Castiel and I sat on a make-shift bed. I laid with my head in Cas's lap as I played with his warm hand. He spoke to Bobby and Sam, having just been informed of the plan to say yes to Lucifer.

"Yes to Lucifer and then jump in the hole..." Castiel asserted," it's an interesting plan." I played with the ring on his finger, smiling softly to myself.

Sam sighed," So go ahead and tell me it's the worst plan you ever heard."

Cas's response made me chuckled," Of course. I am happy to say that if that's what you want to hear," he paused for a moment," But it's not what I think."

"Really?" I heard the shock and hope in Sammy's voice.

My husband watched the road," you, Julie, and Dean have a habit of exceeding my expectations. He resisted Michael. Maybe you could resist Lucifer but there are things that you would need to know." Sam and Dean had big roles to play in the apocalypse, I couldn't help but think of what I am to do. They're the vessels to some pretty kick-ass angels, and me? Doomed to die, yet somehow I'm linked to the angel Julianel. I wondered why I didn't have a say when it came to saying 'yes' or 'no' to her. How else would we be connected?

"Like?" Sam asked, need to know the ramifications.

"Micheal has found another vessel," Castiel confessed. There was a collective gasp.

"Adam," I stated flatly. Our fears were giving life.

The angel nodded and continued," Sam...If you say yes to Lucifer and then fail...This fight _will_ happen-" I placed my fingers between his own and clamped my hand around his. He returned holding my hand. I prayed against everything that we could win this. Cas continued," And the collateral... It'll be immense." He added quickly,"There's also the demon blood."

"What?" Sam's eyes went wide.

"To take in Lucifer it'll be more than you've ever drunk," he explained. I gazed up, watching him speak from where I laid," it strengths the vessel—keeps it from exploding."

Sam looked hurt," but...the guy he's in now...?"

"He's drinking gallons."

Bobby spoke up now," and how is that not the _worst_ plan you've ever heard?" _I really hated cherries._ Sammy doesn't need a demon blood addiction on top of letting Lucifer ride his ass to the prom.

I voiced," I'm going to say it again: if we somehow live through this, I'm finished. I don't want this kind stuff around the kids. They're the one thing I am not letting this world taint." I felt the angel tuck me more into him.

"Amen, Juls," Bobby praised," I ain't lettin' you bring them into this chaos anyhow. We're gonna do everything we can to get you out darlin'. That's a promise," I met Bobby's eyes in the rear view mirror. I felt a bit of a weight lift off of me. If we made it, everything was going to be okay. I rolled over and snuggled into Cas's waist, sleep taking me.

* * *

By ten in the morning we were finalizing a plan to get into the Niveus Pharmaceutical Warehouse. I would be sticking with Cas, while Sam and Bobby went in and cleared the place of demons and planted C-4. The plan was already off to a bad start: the truck that wasn't supposed to leave for another hour was taking off. That was me and my husband's cue.

We took off towards the yellow truck getting away. He stopped at the gate, needing a password to get out. While his hand was reached out to push the buttons, Castiel pulled his hand down, causing the, now demon, to protrude from the vehicle more. I leaned up and slit his throat with the demon knife...but he fell on the horn, alerting other officials. I cursed under my breath.

"Cas, destroy the passcode box!" I ordered and I pushed the man off of the horn. Castiel did as instructed. Now, we needed to get back to Sam and Bobby. He took my hand in his and we made a break for it. I was the one using his sawed-off shotgun, never missing my mark.

When we entered the building we found Sam on the floor, a croatoan-infected trying to tear at him. Bobby's gun had just ran short of ammo. Castiel quickly took my weapon and used it to fire a shot into the infected's head, killing it instantly.

"Actually," Cas spoke," these things can be useful." I smirked as he inspected the gun. I went over to Sam, offering my hand. It took it and I helped him up, even dusting the dirt from his jacket.

We'd made it back to Bobby's, amazingly we all scored a win. Dean got Death's ring, Death even showed him how to open the cage, and we successfully committed an act of domestic terrorism. We were faced with a new problem because Dean promised Death that he would willingly let Sam jump into the hole, we all knew that wasn't an option for Dean. I don't see very many good things happening to people who cheat Death.

We sat at the dinning table, just having finished the dinner Bobby, Castiel, and I made together. We sat around and chatted to ourselves, trying to make light of our very dark situation. The apocalypse was nigh and it was noticeable. The very atmosphere was heavy every where we went, the news was full of natural disasters, horrendous murders, killings, and biblical omens sprung up all around the world.

I swirled the water in my glass around, everyone else was enjoying their alcohol," listen, there's something we need to tell you before the end of the world." The boys looked to me in confusion.

Castiel and I shared a look, he nodded. I continued," Cas and I talked about it," my gaze switched between Bobby, Sam, and Dean," I know we shouldn't think like this, but there's no telling how long anyone's going to last: if something happens to either me or Cas, we would like the three of you to be the god fathers. Ya know...just in case."

They blinked for a moment. Dean was the first to speak," princess, you know we'd do anything for ya. No need for the technicalities."

"Yeah, bug," Sammy added," we're always here for you, and the kids." I couldn't help the relieved smile on my face, Castiel looked happy too. The babies would always be safe and happy, that was all that mattered, even if Castiel or I weren't in the picture.

"Oh, we know," I shrugged," but it's what normal people do."

Dean, who sat beside me, rested a hand on my cheek," we ain't ever letting anything bad happen to you, baby girl," he looked to my belly," or them. I promise."


	41. Chapter 42

**Swan Song**

 **A/N:** This is the finale so it's 6,000 words! I hope this chapter answers your questions. Be prepared for pain and crying.

* * *

There was a little good during the worst of times: the doctor had been able to identify the genders! Castiel and I were ecstatic to be blessed with a boy and a girl. We chuckled and made merry to ourselves in the bedroom, gushing over my now well rounded stomach. Since we obtained the ring from Death, it has been two months.

"We need to think of names," I reminded, playing with his hair. My shirt was lifted up and he was wrapped around my waist, with his head resting on my stomach, trying to hear whatever he could with his ear pressed to it.

"What about Aaron for a boy?" He suggested.

My face scrunched up," no way, not that one. They need to match...what about M names?"

He thought for a second, peering at the bump and running a smooth palm over the surface," Maxwell and Madeline."

I thought about that," I'm almost feeling Maxwell, Madeline's a no go." I thought for a second, joining names and running them through," what about...Margo for a girl?"

"Margo," he tried the name on his tongue. After a second he smirked," I like that: _Margo_." I nibbled my lip, we were finally getting somewhere." It's unique."

"They _are_ unique, they're ours," I ran my finger through his hair and used a hand to stroke the wing that was draped next to my face, on the bed," you can pick our son's name."

He took a moment to think," you said you wanted M names, correct?"

"Correct," I chuckled.

"How do you like Matthew? I think Margo and Matthew has a ring to it," he made known his thoughts. As I contemplated that he placed little kisses to my belly and mumbled words in enochian. Margo and Matthew I repeated the names over in my head. I liked the sound of that.

"Margo and Matthew Winchester it is," I agreed with a bright smile. Cas looked up a happy smile mirrored on his face. For the first time since our wedding, I feel like a normal human being. I wasn't worried about the apocalypse, or fate, or my father barking orders, or trying to survive. I truly felt that the two gifts I bore in my body were what we needed right now. They weren't even born yet and they filled us with so much happiness. Cas and I couldn't wait for what having them in this world would bring.

* * *

I stared out the window of Bobby's house. Tomorrow we set out for getting Sam the demon blood he needed to harbor Lucifer. Everything about Lucifer and Micheal's show down coming up had nature flipped: in the last week I've seen a mousing owl strike down a hawk, rats eating a snake, the sun might as well have risen in the west. Everyone in the home was quiet, either not knowing what to say, or acting like the issue was non-existent.

Bobby's voice beside me pulled me from my thoughts," you ain't gonna find anything good out there darlin' " he leaned in and kissed my head," get some sleep; you're worrying yourself sick."

"I'm not worrying," I shook my head and lied.

Bobby saw right through me," yeah, and I won Miss Universe. We can all see it, Jul. please, if not for me, get some sleep for the little ones." was the last thing he said before trailing off to bed. I exhaled, _he was right_. I went and found my husband sitting with Sam and Dean. Castiel stood and excused himself for the night. I told my brothers goodnight, catching Dean's eye for just a second, before I went up to bed with Cas.

Something else unnatural occurred this night: Castiel fell _asleep_. This was a scary thing to witness because he'd told me that angels do not need sleep...so here he was sleeping...like a human. I couldn't take it. I carefully unwrapped his arm around me and tip-toed down the hall and stairs. I came to the kitchen and found Dean sitting at the kitchen table in the dark.

"I was waiting for you," he explained himself," I know that look on your face." He had noticed the way I caught his eye earlier.

"You're scared," my brother read me like a book. I placed a hand on my rounded stomach and shifted my weight. I didn't want to speak, I didn't trust my voice.

My lip quivered and sniffled, trying to look anywhere but him. My emotions being acknowledged by him had me giving up the act against my will. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be able to act like none of this bothered me, but I couldn't. For all I know, I could lose Sam tomorrow, hell, the world could legitimately _end_ tomorrow, and I was suppose to die.

Dean's face softened," c'mere sweetheart." He held his arms open for me. God so help me a went to him. I placed myself sideways in his lap and wrapped my arms around his middle. His warm arms engulfed me. I started to sob into his neck as he rocked us.

"Dee...I-I'm so sorry...I-I wish w-w-we could do more. I don't wanna loose Sammy...and I'm supposed to die, a-and I'm pregnant during a-all of this...I probably won't ever get to s-see them be born, or get married, or their first birthday," I spilled everything to him. He was my brother, and when dad wasn't around, he was a father figure," I s-shouldn't treat you like my therapist, I'm sorry." He had problems of his own; I didn't want to add to his stress.

"Hey hey," Dee cooed," stop that, okay? You've got nothin' to apologize for, Julie," he rubbed my back and placed a hand on my belly," you being pregnant isn't a burden— _you_ are not a burden, baby girl." He paused for a minute in thought," I'm not going to sit here and tell you not to worry. We should all be worried.

"But I promise you, I'll make damn sure you see the kids grow up. Juls, you can tell me anything, you know that, I'm happy to be here for you, it's my job—it's who I am. Just let it out, baby." He rocked us. And I did. I poured my heart out to him and he listened a 110%. I could just have easily have gone to Cas about how I felt, but I feel like this should be between Dean and I. I hadn't stopped crying after ten minutes so he started to sing. _Hey Jude_ was what he sang me to sleep too so many years ago. I was amazed that it still had the same effect. I hadn't gone back up to Cas that night, I stayed with my brother, feeling like a weight had been lifted.

The morning after I fell asleep on Dean, Cas said nothing about finding the bed empty. A part of me knew he understood why I'd gone to Dean. Regardless, he has rarely left my side since then.

They pulled gallon after gallon of demon blood from an abandon church building. We briefly met together and established that, based off of the newspaper, the Devil was in Detroit. I couldn't help the flash images I was getting of when Zachariah flung us into the future. Lucifer wears Sam to the prom in Detroit, just like he is fated to.

* * *

A chill ran up the back of my neck as I gazed upon the building that Lucifer, himself was in. He _had_ to be in there. The place was swarming with demons, Detroit was twenty degrees colder than normal, Zachariah showed us this was where it went down, and the atmosphere was incredibly thick.

"He's here," Dean stated," I know it." He walked over to the drunk and threw it open, revealing the several gallons of demon blood Sam would soon drink. For the first time my upset stomach tonight was not a result of my pregnancy. I had bad feelings eating me up from the inside out.

No one wanted me here for the sake of the babies, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit on my ass while my family goes through this alone. I negotiated with my brothers and Cas that I would stand on the sidelines, just as long as I got to be here.

Sam stood there looking nervous. Bobby walked sadly up to him and spoke with him. It was hard to realize that Sam wasn't going to come back out of that building," see ya around, kid."

Sam choked up," see ya around." His words were quiet and scared. Bobby noticed and took Sam in his arms and hugged him tight. This is the last he would see of his surrogate father.

Bobby instructed him as they embraced," he gets in... You fight him tooth and nail, you understand? Keep swingin'. Don't give an inch. " I felt a lump in my throat from watching them.

They pulled apart," yes sir," Sam affirmed. He looked away to Castiel and I. I couldn't stop my lip from quivering as he stepped closer. I met him half way and wrapped my hands around his neck. He placed his long arms around my middle and held me to him.

"You're such a good man, Sammy," I sniffled," your niece and nephew will know who you are and of how brave you were." I felt him rub my back," we're never forgetting you,Sammy," I whispered to him. He pulled back and wiped my tears with his large thumbs.

"Don't dwell on me for too long," he grinned, then it dropped," you're gonna be okay, Julie," he assured and kissed my forehead," you'll always be my bug...nothing will ever change that." My heart swelled in happiness and immense sadness. Sam tried to say goodbye to Castiel, but my husband awkwardly didn't know how, which seemed like a nice way for Sam to remember our nerd-angel by. Sam walked over the the trunk where Dean stood, ready to down the demon blood. Not wanting me to see that, Castiel guided me up near the front of the car.

Quicker than I'd imagined, Sammy slammed the trunk down and huffed. He walked a little taller, breathed more deeply, and squared his shoulders. Demon blood remnants slipped down the corner of his mouth as he and Dean swaggered up to the building. I bit my thumbnail as I watched them. _Sam isn't going to come out of there._ This plan direly needed to work to stop the apocalypse or else one death would turn into half the planet.

I groaned and tucked myself into Castiel's neck, not wanting to see what comes out of that building. He pressed me to him more, wrapping the pitifully worn wings around me.

* * *

We waited for an hour with nothing happening. When all of the sudden a pure light emitted from the home. I gasped and covered my mouth. Sam had just said yes. There was a rumbling in the earth that followed. We tried to steady ourselves from the rocking of the earth beneath us. All at once it stopped. We looked at each other with wide-eyes.

Ten minutes went by and Dean was staggering out. He came up to us, tears streaking his cheeks, eyes wide, and out of breath.

I was the first to speak," Dean? I-is he..." I couldn't say it.

"Lucifer knew we had the rings," his voice was so weak," he knew... _he knew_..." he repeated. He turned behind him and kicked a tin trash can over with a loud bang. He kicked and punched the dumpster and any thing he could to get his anger out. I got out of Castiel's arms and went for my rampaging brother.

"Julie—no," Cas worried, but I didn't listen.

"D-Dean...Dean—" Just when my brother turned around I caught him in my embrace. He froze immediately and cried into my hair," listen to me: there's no way we could've known that...it's..." I stopped myself from saying 'it's okay.'

"Say it," he croaked," tell me it's going to be okay." Dean pulled back and looked at me with such a heartbroken expression.

I shook my head," no. You know what? It's not okay. But do you know what it's not?"

His bloodshot green eyes stared into me, staying silent, yet urging me to go on. He hiccuped now.

"Over," I said," _it's not over_."

* * *

All four of us watched the news playing in the windows of a television store. Since Lucifer took his true vessel, everything started go to shit pretty quick.

The news reporter explained the graphic video footage of an earthquake in Berlin," Reports are flooding in – a 7.6 earthquake in Portland, 8.1 in Boston, more in Hong Kong, Berlin, and Tehran. The U.S.G.S. has no explanation but says to expect a six-figure death toll. "

"It's starting," Castiel observed and took his place at my side. He almost couldn't sit still.

"Yeah, you think genius?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"You don't have to be mean," Cas snapped.

I piped," so what do we do now?"

My brother shrugged and my husband answered," I suggest we get you someplace safe and we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol... Just wait for the inevitable blast wave." I looked at him incredulously. He was just going to give up.

My brother spoke before I could. Bobby was still glued to the TV's," Yeah, well. Thank you, Bukowski. I mean, how do we _stop_ it?"

My angel looked to his feet, his wings drooping almost fully to the ground," We don't. Lucifer will meet Michael on the chosen field, and the battle of Armageddon begins."

"Okay, well, where is this chosen battlefield?" Dean wondered.

"I don't know," Cas shook his head and looked away.

I scoffed," well there's gotta be something that we can do."

Cas met my eyes sadly," I'm sorry, love...it's over." I shook my head.

Dean spoke through his teeth," You listen to me, you junkless sissy – we are not giving up! Bobby?" Bobby walked over but his eyes were brimming with tears. I could see the fear in his eyes that made my stomach drop," _Bobby?_ "

He spoke slowly," There was never much hope to begin with," he said breaking my heart," I don't know what to do."

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I stepped away from them and asserted," no, there's another way. There _has_ to be, we'll find it because we're Winchesters. I just...let me think." They were quiet as I looked away.

A very large part of me was just pulling hope out of my ass, but I'd rather die optimistic than hopeless. _Who or what could we get a hold of that could help us?_ We needed to find this chosen battle field, _that_ would be a hell of a place to start. But, how would we even find that information? I racked my brain for an answer. I didn't care if we had to get ahold of a demon, an angel, monster, human, lore book, prophet or...I froze.

"What?" Dean saw my look," give it to me, baby girl, anything."

"A prophet, Dean. We need to get ahold of a _prophet_ ," I theorized.

He nodded," that's a good call, I'll call Chuck." A faint smile fill his face and I mirrored him, hope sparking in me. _I prayed to God, if he had his ears on, for help._

I looked to my husband, seeing pride on his face, but still disbelieving. Despite my upset stomach, it took that moment to growl in hunger.

Bobby chuckled," the least I could do before the world ends, is get some food in your belly, for you and the little ones." I couldn't really turn that down even if I was against food right now. My twins needed it and I would give it to them.

Cas went with Bobby and I while Dean called Chuck. Whatever he found he could tell us when we got back.

* * *

We walked back down the dark alley, myself, stuffed form eating. We saw Dean scrambling around the impala, like he was about to go somewhere.

Bobby called him out," You goin' someplace?" Dean looked at us with his face neutral and jaw set," You're goin' to do somethin' stupid. You got that look." I noticed Castiel squint to try and see the look for himself.

"I'm gonna go talk to Sam," my brother announced. _That sounds like a bad idea._

Bobby shook his head," you just don't give up."

"It's _Sam!_ " Dena defended.

My angel added," if you couldn't reach him here, you're certainly not gonna be able to on the battlefield." I felt my hope escaping me with every word that was exchanged.

Dee huffed," if we've already lost, I guess I got nothing to lose, right?" He was breaking and I could see it.

Castiel sighed and shifted his weight," I just want you to understand – the _only_ thing that you're gonna see out there is Michael killing your brother." I scrunched my nose at that, this day was way above our pay grade.

"Well..." Dean started," then I ain't gonna let him die alone." I felt my throat grow painfully tight when he started to get choked up.

"Dee, I'm not loosing two brothers," I glowered at him.

"It's over, princess," he softly said to me before hopping in the impala and driving off. I bit the inside of my cheek, anger filling me. I opened my phone at record speed.

"Julie? What are you doing?" Cas asked beside me.

I let out a mischievous chuckled through my tears," that stupid idiot left the GPS in his phone on." I started walking towards the van Bobby drove here," get in the car, we've got a party to crash—I'm driving." I missed Castiel and Bobby share a look, but they followed me without a word.

* * *

I played a very dangerous game; I had to follow Dean without him noticing it was us behind him. While I drove I devised a plan: Cas would fill a bottle of flaming holy oil and chuck it at Micheal. This way, Dean could have is chance to speak with Sam... _if he could_. If Castiel held any apprehension or worry for me leading and devising these plans, he said nothing, but I could see the twinge of hope in his eyes.

We waited for the right time to show ourselves. Perfect timing too, fore Micheal was just about to take a swing at Dean for showing up unannounced. Turns out, the big show down takes place in an old bone yard outside of Lawrence, Kansas...our home.

Together, Bobby, Castiel, and I walked up the small hill," hey ass-butt!" Castiel called to get Micheal's attention. I would've laughed if this wasn't so serious.

Micheal turned and Cas through the holy fire at him, nailing him in the chest. In seconds he was engulfed and Micheal!Adam disappeared with a scream. _So far so good_ , I thought.

"Ass-butt?" Dean asked.

Cas ignored his question," he'll be back—and upset— but you have your five minutes."

Sam who now possessd Lucifer spoke," Castiel...did you just Molotov my brother with holy fire?" This wasn't Sammy at all. His mannerisms were different, he spoke differently, and he carried himself more arrogantly. Lucifer started to come closer, my angel started to back away, I've never seen him look so scared before.

He tried to lie his way out, but didn't work," uh...no..." he chuckled nervously.

Lucifer!Sam seethed," no one fucks with Micheal, but me." Suddenly he raised his hand and snapped his fingers. There was a popping noise from where Castiel stood behind me. I felt warm liquid splatter all over the side of my face and hands.

I turned to look at my husband fully...but Cas was gone, only a bloody splatter where he stood. I whined loudly and looked at the blood on my hands, I went to touch my face, but couldn't," no...oh no... no..." This was Castiel's blood...his chunks of flesh...spewed onto my skin. A sob wracked it's self out of my body. He wouldn't see the babies be born, he wouldn't see their first birthday, play sports with his son, or walk his daughter down the isle.

Like a freight train, my body was instantly hit with pain, making me fall to the ground with a gasp. I screamed as it bubbled in my veins and tore at me from the inside. I started to convulse in the grass, the pain of my soulmate dying sending me into a seizure-like state.

"Julie!" I heard Dean calling to me, but I couldn't move.

"Aww, how could I forget?" Lucifers voice met my ears," you and my little brother were soulmates, or...something like that, right?" I heard his footsteps coming closer to me. I was able to make out Lucifer standing over me, and looking down on me with a smirk," golly, that looks like it hurts."

"Get the fuck away from her!" Dean barked with anger.

I wept in pain. My mind was in mourning for Cas, my heart felt like it was being stabbed over and over and over agin. My mind was also taken into over drive for the health of the babies. Lucifer did this to my husband, and if he hurt my kids in the process...I wanted him dead.

"You'll get yours in a minute, sunshine," he said to my brother. He looked to Bobby on the hill who started barreling towards him in a rage. With the snap of his fingers, Bobby's neck cracked loudly and my surrogate fell dead to the floor.

"NO!" I heard Dean roar. I wished I could've mourned over him, but in my situation, I wasn't given that luxury.

Lucifer turned to me in confusion,"what? No hello? Geez I haven't seen you since the last dust-up, sis. It's like you don't even recognize me." His words confused the hell out of me, _why was he calling me sis?_ White foam seeped up my throat and down my jaw. I screamed once more as a wave of white-hot pain rocked me.

"I mean, look at you! Dad really fucked you up didn't he? You know," Lucifer contemplated for a second," it pains me to do this, you were my favorite, hell, you were _everybody's_ favorite..." he trailed off, then carried on," but what's it matter if I do or don't kill you now? The world's going to end bloody either way. Roles are roles Julianel, I'll see you in another age or so."

I shook my head as he raised his fingers into a snap position," no...please...my babies." I somehow pulled through the fog of my pain and rested a hand to my stomach. I wanted to live for them," my babies," I cried.

Lucifer shrugged," I guess they'll just have to join you. That a real shame actually, I've always wanted to be an uncle."

I sobbed," Dee!" I cried. He could usually make the bad things go away, maybe he could help me this one last time," Dee, get him away!"

I heard my brother's strained voice,"I-I can't, baby. Look at me, Jul...look at me." I wrapped my arms around my stomach and turned on my side, looking up at him, on his knees. My mind took me back.

 _"Look at me," my brother instructed," hey, look at me princess. I promise, I'm not going to hurt you." I did as he instructed and met his green eyes with my blue ones. Suddenly, his hand pulled back and he exclaimed happily," got it!"_

 _"Nuh-uh! I didn't feel anything! Dee there's no way," I crossed my arms and hoped he wasn't just messing with me._

 _"Look," he smiled and opened his fisted hand. In his palm rested a very tiny tooth. I beamed up at him, a whole in my smile,"Dee! I thought you really hadn't got it!" I leaned up and capture him in a hug. His proud laughter sounding against my ear._

When I came to and looked up at Lucifer, his finger fully snapped, as did the vertebrae in my neck.

* * *

 _Peace._

I knew my eyes were closed wherever I was in this strange world. The feeling of peace flowed through my veins, warming me to my core. I heard something in the distance. _Laughter._ It sounded like children playing somewhere close, and yet, nowhere near. I hummed and slowly opened my eyes, sitting up.

I was home, sitting in the yard in front of my childhood house. The large oak tree baked in the spring sun to my left. I know it my heart that I am dead, but I didn't remember this memory. The bubbly laughter of children met my ears and I turned to see the source. I watched two blond children run around the tree, playing together. I couldn't help the smile on my face, a large part of me knew who they were.

I wanted to see them. For some reason, their faces were out of my sight. No matter how many times they ran around the tree, I couldn't glimpse the faces I knew would look a mix between Castiel and I. I stood up and cautiously went to the tree. They had just ran around and I followed them. When I came back around the other side, they were gone. I know I should've ran into them; _where could they have gone?_ I backed up, _maybe they ran around the other end?_ But my back ran into someone's chest. I turned to see who and gasped, I scrambled back a few feet.

"Daddy?" I wondered in shock.

"Hello, Julie," greeted my father, John. He tried to step closer, but I took the same steps back.

I shook my head," I-I don't understand..."

"You died, sweetheart," he answered calmly.

I rolled my eyes," I understand _that_ part, but...no offense, why are you here? Where's mom? What about Cas? And those kids—can I meet them?"

He looked to his shoes, exhaling. He looked back up, I let him walk to me now and throw an arm around my shoulder, walking me away from the tree. I wasn't ready to leave it yet," you can meet them in time, for right now, we need to talk."

I swallowed, preparing to hear whatever he had to say. I guess I could wait to meet my kids for a little while longer.

"You were always my favorite, Julie," he started. I looked up at him as we walked," do you know why you always got hurt when your brothers fought?"

I shook my head," I just figured it was because they were assholes."

He chuckled," that's putting it lightly. No, it's your role, Julie. I would have thought you would have seen the similarities between Julianel and you: you are... the same person so-to-speak."

My brows creased," the same person? I thought she was just a role I played." A sweet scented wind blew over the area and into my nose.

"Yes, you were always subject to Sam and Dean's mischances, just as Julianel fell prey to Micheal and Lucifer's battles. It's time I told you the whole truth," my dad explained to me and rubbed my shoulder with his large hand.

"Wait–how could you possibly know all this? You've been away, you've had no idea what's gone on down there," I couldn't see how he knew so much already.

He tilted his head," I know all." That sentence struck me as odd. My dad certainly didn't know _all_. The only one I knew to do that was God, but this couldn't be him... _why would He talk to me?_

He continued," during the last fight between Lucifer and Micheal, their favored sister, and God's beloved daughter, got between them. To have more access to Micheal, Lucifer cut her out, killing her, but God wasn't having that. Julianel, was too pure, too good for such a thing as death, so God...sent her somewhere to protect her. He flung her grace right into the atmosphere of earth, it searched for the perfect vessel. And her grace found it: right in the home of two boys, and a baby girl to John and Mary Winchester on August 24th 1986."

I stared at him with wide-eyes, I froze my steps to look at him," that's my birthday."

He nodded," Julianel's grace entered the body of young Julianna Beth Winchester. With the blank mind of an infant, Julianel forgot about the angels, forgot about her father, and forgot herself in the process."

My mind connected dots. After all this time everything made sense: the reason I was always between my brothers, Gabriel treating me like I mattered more to him than I should, and the message from God," I-I'm an angel..." I croaked.

He shook his head now," you're not, but the angel essence is still inside you, Sweetheart. God had to keep his beloved daughter safe, please, you must understand, princess."

I met his eyes at his urgency. I searched his hazel orbs for the truth, he was way too worried for me than John ever was and why did he speak about himself in third person?" You are _not_ John Winchester, who are you?" I took the defensive.

"You're a very smart girl, Julie," he smiled," I _am_ your father—in a way."

I scoffed and curled my lip," did you not hear a word I just said? My dad was never nice and caring like this. I'll ask again, who _are_ you?"

Thankfully, he caved," I am the father of Julianel...for I am God," he looked down at himself," I'm sorry, Julie, John Winchester took the road downstairs. Not all are granted salvation in Heaven," he explained. I couldn't believe what I was hearing: God was right in front of me and talking to me, my real dad was in hell, there's an angel's grace inside of me, because he couldn't let her go! I had a life to live that didn't include one drop of angel juice in me.

I stuttered, my mind all over the place," I-I don't know w-what to say...that's a lot to think about." I nervously laughed.

"You needn't say anything," he looked into my eyes," I must applaud your work on earth, Julie, what you and your family did...you stopped the apocalypse."

My eyes snapped back to him," w-we did?"

He nodded proudly," you helped save the world, that kind of work deserves recognition."

"I'm dead, what kind of recognition would it be if no one notices?" I wondered.

He scratched the back of his neck," I'm thinking I should reward you by sending you back to earth with your husband, and your children. Julianel should not be in Heaven."

I nodded in agreement," I think you can start by getting the angel out of me."

He fervently shook his head," no! She must stay safe!"

I laid a hand on his shoulder, noticing how this idea scared him," you need to let her go, God. How else can _you_ move forward?" I softly worked with him. I'd do whatever I could to get back to earth as a whole human.

"Me? It was never about me, I worry for my children," his face softened.

I moved my hand to his cheek, his beard scratching my hand. He still looked exactly like my father," listen, I know this is a hard decision, Julianel is the light of your life, but you will never get passed this moment as long as she wears a vessel. You will always come back to this, and what about Julianel, huh? How is this fair to her? Let her know peace. _Let her go_."

He stared into my eyes for the longest time until he spoke slowly and painfully," I have caused enough torment on her behalf. You're right, I am finished," he nodded and leaned into my hand.

"Thank you," I felt my eyes prick with tears. I wanted to go back to earth and hold my loved ones tight more than anything," the ones who love us, never truly leave us," I told him for his troubles. Even God has problems saying goodbye.

"When you wake up, you will do so with out Julianel inside of your veins. Thank you Julie, when your time has come, you will be given the finest resting place in my home, take this and pray to me, should you need it," God who wore the appearance of my father held his closed hands out. I was honored, yet confused to be given something from him.

I took the object from his hand and opened my palms to peek at it. A tiny white hummingbird sat contently in my hand. _How could I keep a something like this?_! I thanked him regardless.

"Close her eyes Julie Winchester," God instructed. I did and waited," now..." his voice faded in my mind,"...wake up."

* * *

I sat up with a large intake of air, clambering to someone that held me. I gasped and struggled for a minute. I couldn't stop the sobs that escaped my throat. The emotions of my last conversation hit me ten times harder on earth.

"Shh, shh," came a familiar voice," my love it's okay, you're okay," Castiel's voice faltered," the twins are okay."

I finally relaxed and slumped in his arms realizing I was safe under... giant and lush, onyx wings. I had too many things I wanted to say. I looked down to my stomach, which was still round and sporting the life of our twins, easing my mind in that aspect. Something in my hand made me pause my crying. I adjusted myself to look at what I held.

I saw Dean by our side on the ground. He looked beyond relieved to see me not-dead. I looked at the object in my hand. Where the white hummingbird had sat, a chain of white rosary beads fell free. Between every three beads, a silver hummingbird charm gleamed. My crying seized. It was good to know I hadn't imagined everything, or else I'd have gone insane.

"Where did you get that, Julie?" Dean gestured to the beads.

I met my brother's and husband's worried eyes before I answered quietly," God gave it to me."

"God?" Dean wanted to make sure he'd heard correctly.

Castiel spoke seeing as I was too mesmerized by the rosary," he brought us back, Dean."

I look to Cas," what about Sam? Did he save him to?" I looked around, wanting to see him. When I didn't, I met my angel's sad eyes.

"I'm sorry, Julie, he's gone," he informed me sadly. I nodded and fought more tears.

Bobby's voice met my ears, perking me up a bit, but I couldn't get over Sam just yet," come on, we saved the damn day! Let's get her out of the cold." Castiel picked me up bridal style and sat me in the back of the impala. In time I would tell them everything I'd learned, but for right now, I just wanted to go home and get as far away from hunting as possible.

* * *

I listened to Cas and Dean speak in the impala as I fought sleep.

"So what are you gonna do now?" Dean asked him.

Cas looked back at me and grinned," buying a house, and building a place for the kids to grow up in, I figure is a good place to start." I smiled happily with him.

"As long as I can babysit, I'll stay out of your hair," my brother bargained.

"Deal," I rubbed a hand over my swollen belly, eager for them to come into this world. Not having Sam with us still pained my heart, but look at what we have now because of that sacrifice: a planet to live on, a place for not just our children, but _all_ children to play on and grow on, and our freedom.

My children will forever know of their uncle and how his one, selfless act, kept the world exactly the same as it was yesterday.


	42. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

I watched Castiel in babies' bedroom almost every night. Just when he'd thought I'd gone to sleep, I would see him tip toeing, wings folded tightly against his body, out of our room and into the babies' room across the hall. He would pull up the wooden stool at the corner of the two cribs and watch over them as they slept. Every little whimper or cry, he was there to hush.

After we stopped the attempted apocalypse, Castiel and I found a home in South Dakota. We didn't live too far from Bobby, or Dean and Lisa. He encouraged them to move into the house three blocks down. Thankfully, they listened to Dean, they were safer that way.

To sustain ourselves Bobby wired us a credit card, loaded with cash. We stocked up on baby diapers, baby clothes, baby health products, baby cribs, baby formula, baby everything. This type of living was a hard transition for Cas, but he was fairing very well here. He missed Heaven, I could see that much, but he said nothing about it. If he ever wanted to visit home I would let him. Speaking of the finer graces of this world, my husband made damn sure that the house was everything- _proof_. It was even warded against every angel that wasn't himself. At least we were safe here, that's all that mattered.

Dean liked to pop-in to get his "uncle-fixin's" whatever those were. He would offer to feed, change, and watch the kids whenever he could, to which Castiel and I were grateful. We had the most trouble keeping Bobby away, but we really couldn't complain. I needed sleep and Cas needed a break sometimes.

When Margo and Matthew where three months old, we started to take them places, one of those places being church. Church was a new thing for my small family, but we tried to attend regularly.

The twins were perfect little angels and rarely ever cried when the pastor went about his speeches. The opposite could be said for my husband: every time the pastor got a detail wrong from his teachings, the angel would correct him in front of the entire service. It escalated to the point where the pastor threw his papers down and forfeited the job to Cas, because, well he seemed to know it more than he did. Thus, my husband got his first job! And who better to preach a sermon than a literal Angel of the Lord, or a pastor who was just preaching as he was taught? Needless to say, my angel starting bringing in some tangible cash, not just on a wired credit card.

I decided that when the kids were two or older, I would attend school to get my RN. I still wanted to save people, because it's what I loved-just minus the hunting part . Eventually, we could live off of the money we earned like a normal family.

Something about tonight though, was different with Castiel. When he would go to watch over his babies, he would drape his wings over the cribs, but tonight...I didn't see his wings. _Not a single feather._ I entered the room and stood by him, who sat on the stool.

I didn't want to come right out and say it, that would've been rude," I wonder what they're dreaming about." I looked over their chubby-smooth faces with a smile. I glanced up and eyed the white rosary bead hanging on the wall. The room was navy blue with cute white decals all over the walls. Their cribs made an L at their heads in the corner of the room. We found that they liked to be closer to each other.

"Innocent things," my husband groggily answered.

I hummed and whispered," You're so good with them, darling," I praised him.

"I'm not an angel anymore, Julie," he cut to the chase, then added," neither are they," he stated flatly. He stood and my brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?" I wondered softly, not wanting to wake the babies up.

I watched his hand snake into his pocket. He pulled out three, blue-glowing, vials. Some blue magic flowed in the bottle and twinkled softly. One was larger than the other two very tiny ones. I didn't understand so he elaborated," the twins were nephilim: offspring of an angel and a human, so I removed the angel bit and now they're just...human." I nodded, supporting that idea. I would rather them be human and safe than nephilim and hunted.

"And you? I don't see your wings," I observed.

He held up the largest bottle of blue-glow essence," I gave up my grace." I drew a blank as we stared at each other in silence. _Why would he do that?_ He explained himself," I would like to go through every emotion and every human experience just as you do, for you, and for them," he looked back into the two cribs.

I felt my throat tighten," well it won't be easy," I came closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. He placed the vials back in his pocket and wrapped an arm around me, the other rested on Matthew's crib.

He smirked," no, it won't," he agreed," but I'd rather die of old age with you, than see my family die while I keep living. I'm happy to do this." He looked back to me. He kept on finding ways to surprise me. I closed the distanced and kissed him quietly. He pulled away looking like he wanted to say something more.

"What is it, angel?" I asked. He would always be my angel; he didn't always need wings to be one.

He looked slowly to the cribs," I need to tell you something, but not here," he whispered. Cas grabbed my hand gently and lead me from the room. Once we passed the living-room, I thought we were going to talk about it here, but he kept walking to the back porch, which confused me.

"Cas, what's so important that we have to talk about it outside at-" I check the watch on his wrist"- one-in-the-morning?" The frogs and crickets sang their songs.

He swallowed and shifted his weight. A tell-tale sign that he was nervous, but why? " It's Sam, Julie."

I felt my blood run cold. I grabbed the wooden banister of the porch until my knuckles turned white," what about him?" I felt my heart beat rise.

"Before I...gave up my grace and when God restored me to my full potential I..." he blinked and looked away from my eyes.

"Castiel..." my voice was weary," what did you do?"

He cleared his throat," I pulled your brother out of hell..." his ocean eyes met mine then. My stomach dropped at his confession.

I nibbled my lip and paced on the porch. This wasn't a good thing. Bad things happen when we bring people back," _why?_ " I gaped back at my husband.

He shrugged weakly," I thought it was the right thing to do...to see you hurt like you do when you think about him, I couldn't bare Dean's thoughts anymore. Both of you and Bobby were hurting so I did something about it."

"Cas I appreciate you doing that—I do" I went up and took both of his hands in mine," but you really shouldn't have. There's consequences in bringing back the dead."

He nodded in agreement, his hands tightened around my own," there's more." I looked to him eagerly for more information," I couldn't carry all of him," he started slowly for my benefit," Sam's hell tortured soul is _still_ in the cage."

I looked at his chest, my eyes welling with tears. That definitely wasn't good," where is he now?" I asked weakly.

He shook his head," I don't know, but I have a way." He released one of my hands and turned to the dark-backyard. He muttered three words in enochian. I was confused once more, not knowing what he was doing until a bird, as black as the night itself flew from the tree line. It flew up and landed itself on the banister in front me," this bird will watch over him and report to me."

"You can understand it without having your grace?" I wondered curiously. I carefully reached out a hand gently stroked the bird that used to watch over me. My mind was taken back to a time before I met Castiel.

"Yes, I can never unlearn my knowledge of Heaven and everything it's taught me: deciphering languages in silence is one of them," he answered," our friend here will keep an eye on him, Julie."

I became silent as I continued to pet the creature. Dark thoughts started to fill my mind, though they were dark, they were the truth," does Dean know?"

"No," my husband replied.

I held my chin up a bit more, forcing the words from my mouth," _keep it that way._ " I finally moved my blue eyes to his," things get apocalyptic when Winchesters bring back family from the dead. _Promise_ me, Cas, you won't tell Dean about Sam."

He searched my eyes looking for any doubt, but he only found my determined will," I promise, my love...I promise." He looked to the bird and told it something. Suddenly it launched itself off of the railing and into the night," he goes to Sam, now."

We watched it fly off until it merged with the sky and shadows. The wailing of one of the twins turned our heads back to the house, changing the subject entirely.

I groaned," I know she's not hungry, she needs a change." I half smiled back at Castiel, hoping he could take this one.

He smirked," I've got Margo, get some sleep, Julie." Before he went into the house he pecked my lips and quickly walked towards the baby room.

I sighed, standing by myself now. I looked up at the stars overhead. The stars that were still there because we didn't follow what fate had in store for us. The world and everything it had to offer, remained just as it used to because we burned our bridges and found another way to cross the water.

* * *

THE END


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